---
title: Episode 101 Agony & Ecstasy
episode_number: 101
era: mid
source_file: Episode 101 Agony & Ecstasy.mp3
audio_size_mb: 45.7
duration_sec: 1497.1
duration_min: 25.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T16:51:29Z---

# Episode 101 Agony & Ecstasy

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast one zero one. A 101. 99 more until we hit the next big milestone. Hello. Welcome back. Maybe you thought I had died or I had run away or finished this daygame endeavor, but not at all. I've just been off on my ten ten challenge. Hopefully, you have too. No more podcasts or videos or mental masturbation. You went out rubber meets the road. You did 10 approaches. That means talking to 10 girls every day for ten days. And if you completed the challenge, congratulations. Don't forget to go back to the original video on YouTube, this year's ten ten video, and underneath that, leave some statistics or leave a story. This is not a competition about who got the most numbers or dates or kisses or lays. This is about who got off their ass, who got off their ass and did something and pushed themselves. And I'm gonna leave that for a few days to see the comments coming in, and then I will give 10 guys free logins for my infield product, stealth seduction. So you can compare what you did perhaps in the last ten days to the kind of stuff I was doing last year. Anyway, podcast one zero one is on agony and ecstasy because I've just finished my last 10 for the challenge to make up a 100 approaches. And these last ten days have been all about agony and ecstasy, ups and downs, coasters. If you listen to podcast a 100, you'll know what I mean because half of the podcast was guys telling victory stories and they were very good. They were very encouraging and motivating and entertaining. But half of the guys were talking about how bloody difficult daygame is. Going out there facing the sting of rejection, facing spotlight effect, facing flakes, facing blue balls, facing a girl, going out of your life, all these stings. And that's what I've been talking about in the last few weeks since I made that video on daygame statistics, why there are more no's than yes's, why losses are more common than wins. I forgot to say in that video that when you win, you win big. That's why we put up with the losses. Otherwise, we just wouldn't. Same with a poker player, same with a trader. So I followed it up with a video called daygame is difficult and it shocked a lot of guys especially if they had never done daygame before or they had unrealistic expectations of what you do just going up to a few girls and then bang finding your dream girl. It's as easy as that. Especially when I pointed out girls should be hotter than you. Okay? And preferably younger, that's just biology. Younger girls are more fertile. Some guys were saying, why can't you have why can't you go for hot meals? Well, you can. That's fine. And yep, there are plenty of hot meals. But biologically, we're going for obviously hot girls and we are attracted to the more fertile girls. So late teens, 18, 19, 20, 21, most fertile, most desirable. It's a supply and demand, sexual marketplace. That is the name of the game. That is the name of hustling. But today's podcast will be divided into two. The agony in terms of the last ten days of my life plus daygame in general, and the other half being the ecstasy of the last ten days of my life and why the day game. But first of all, I want to point out some documentaries that I've been watching on this topic because as I was going through the last ten days, ups and downs, quite literally, and some pretty big downs. As I've said, daygame makes the highs higher and the lows lower. In the evenings, I was either recuperating, putting my feet up, my blistered feet up, woe is me, going on a date, going on a second date or for relaxation, turning off my brain watching some more documentaries. And by the time this podcast goes out, I guess these will be on my blog. I will link to them. The first documentary, which is about agony and ecstasy, is called diving into the unknown. It's a 2014 cave diving documentary. Friends that were cave diving deep deep deep and dark in the North Of Norway when tragedy happens. I won't say what and I won't say why the film is so powerful, but half of it agony, half of it ecstasy. The second one I watched was Bobby Fischer against the world about the probably the world's greatest chess player of all time and his 1972 match in Iceland against a Russian, it was during the cold war. It was very symbolic. But again, why his life is both agony and ecstasy? Why it's this contradiction? Yeah. The third one was Sunshine Superman about the father of base jumping. I think you say his name as Carl Bonish. Very powerful when people say, why do you do these, crazy things? Is it about being egotistical? Is it about showing off? Why do people take risks? The highs and the lows, the massive highs and the literal lows in that documentary, shocking. But understandable. Again, it's about this contradiction of agony and ecstasy, bipolar nature, yeah, of genius. And the last one which I watched last night was the most powerful of all because I love mountains and mountaineering. But just in general, the topic, the story, the cinematography, the editing, it was outstanding. It's called Meru or Meru 2,015. It's the story of the first ascent attempt on a Himalayan peak, the sharks fin peak of Meru in the Indian Himalayas. And it's a story about climbing, but really it's a true story about three men and the mountains in their mind. Again, people saying you're crazy, you're stupid, you take these unacceptable risks. Why do you do it? Why do you go through suffering? I don't understand. And people that have never been into the mountains or done any kind of mountaineering, again, it's like base jumping. They just don't get it. There's complete agony in what they do and there's obviously complete ecstasy. I won't say what happens at the end of the film, but it sums up podcast one zero one in a documentary. Fantastic. So we come to the topic of agony and ecstasy being bipolar. Perhaps all good day gamers or players are a bit bipolar. Perhaps great artists and authors and musicians are bipolar. Highs are higher, lows are lower. And it makes me think of a quote from the movie that I keep telling you to watch, Nymphomaniac, part one and part two. And the girl in it, Joe, she says, perhaps the only difference between me and other people is that I've always demanded more from the sunset, more spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. That's perhaps my only sin. So it's a dialectical contradiction, we would say in academia, things that don't make sense. Can we find a middle ground? Do we need to find a middle ground? Or do we just accept the bipolar schizophrenic nature? I'm not saying I have bipolar, not being diagnosed with bipolar, but we all to some degree. And people that swing between one and the other generally do really well, excel at something very niche and specific, and then they go through down periods. I've talked about it on the podcast to deal with depression, anxiety, and stress. But anyway, let's keep it about day game and hustling and hopefully your ten ten challenge, which you completed today or maybe you're going to complete tomorrow. Footnote is that if you didn't do it, don't feel too guilty. Just set yourself a challenge for the next ten days or do it for seven days or do a five five challenge or set yourself a one number a day task or one day to week task or no Tinder for this month challenge. Yep. You've to have a challenge. Otherwise, it's just drifting around, lots of weasels, lots of excuses, lots of motivation, Tony Robbins style, lots of procrastination, but that's not what this podcast is about. That's certainly not what this channel is about. Grabbing life by the horns means going outside and doing it. So 10% motivation. Yes. These are the podcasts. As I keep saying, 90% action. Let's start with the agony of the last ten days. Let's start with the blowouts, the embarrassment I've had out of a 100 approaches, the spotlight effect I felt, the flakes, the many flaky numbers despite good interactions. What a puzzle. Blue balls. I'll tell you about girls on my bed, maybe getting to second or third base, and then no lay. Coming up to today and tomorrow and my last few days in this city, it's all about backing the horse or rather the wrong horse. I've made wrong decisions in my date scheduling or which girl to see for day two or day three, and I've, fucked it up. Leaving a city, it's agony. Open loops, they are agony. A bit of burn out, yeah. By day seven I was fed up with going out, we had a few drizzly days here. Guys are having blisters, guys are getting ill, not just from going out and pushing themselves, but weirdly, if you have a run of successes, and I've had sexcesses this week, plus seeing regulars, when your body has a lot of sex or you're staying up for late night because of dating or you're drinking more alcohol. When I've had the biggest runs of successes in my daygame endeavors, like a challenge of sleeping with three girls in a day or sleeping with five girls in one week or going for 40 new notches in a year. You achieve it perhaps and then you crash. So I've known daygamers including myself after a good run, then you're just in bed for a few days or you've got that daygame revulsion. Or you've got that, daygame breakdown. Again, not literally, but semi breakdowns, mini breakdowns. I have had myself dark days in Moscow. I know a daygamer who went to Belgrade on his own and had a mini breakdown panic attack. A guy in Minsk had the same. A guy in Prague had the same after pushing himself. That's the health warning on the side of the tin. This stuff amplifies your underlying emotions. It makes the highs higher and the lows lower. So if you're volatile anyway, daygame is gonna magnify that. And that can be amazing for the highs and pretty fucking awful for the lows. Right. Back to practical. I've been walking around eight to 10 kilometers a day. So let's say 80 to a 100 kilometers in the last ten days. Again, hurts your bloody feet. Woe is me. Got a crack in my boot. Water was coming through one day. New blisters another day. It was fucking cold one day. It's lovely today. Jacket off weather. I, related to that lower back thing I was moaning about in podcast 99 or a 100. I can't remember. Yeah. A bit of a hamstring thing going on. So limping around. And today's the first day where I felt a bit coldy, like a bit shivery despite pumping myself with, vitamins and vegetables and drinking, water and all that good stuff. Just again, late nights, having girls over to the early hours, drinking too much, even smoking a couple of cigarettes with one girl to help with the bounce back. Yeah, not good for you. Not good for you. So I'm feeling that now. Like I've said, I've faced the flakes. I've faced the blue balls. I lost a regular. One of my regulars from, the last few months, she's just got a boyfriend, so she disappeared. She told me she was disappearing, but she disappeared. And that always stings even though pickup artist say, I have no emotions. Of course, you have emotions to a girl that you've been sleeping with for half a year. Even if it's an open relationship, it slightly stings. So I lost the regular. Three lots of blue balls. So three girls on my bed in the last ten days, new girls that I didn't fuck. Got to third base with one of them, second base, just heavy make outs and all that with the other two. One of them was a virgin. I couldn't get past that. Some girls have gone back to their city. I can't go to their city. So open loops, the pain of open loops. There you go. That's enough agony. Just to give you an idea, a snapshot into ten days of my life. And as I keep saying, more rejections than success, is more no's than yes's. Let's go to the ecstasy because you're going fucking hell. This is dark. What's the point of doing daygame? Tom is trying to stop me doing daygame. Well, this is the other side of the coin. You get huge wins. Okay? In daygame, you meet your targets. You get that nine or you have a threesome or you get that model or you get that stripper, whatever. You have flow states like this week, walking around in the sun, flow states of bliss, almost like out of body experiences when you're just loving it. The skill and the challenge are at the right pitch and you're in a flow state. It's very cinematic. You feel alive. That is the theme of those four documentaries I told you to watch. Daygame is the carrot on the stick as you heard in podcast a 100. So for the last ten days, I thought I was chasing hot girls, but actually, I was walking around, I was being grateful, I was exploring a city, I was having lots of good conversations, I was improving my spontaneity and wit and improvisation, I was out of the house, I was in sunshine, etcetera, etcetera. So there's a higher purpose if you like underneath, what some would see as egotistical nature of this thing, the narcissism of this thing. It's a contradiction. Badass is the action. Buddha is the freedom from outcome. Yeah? Intent is the badass. The Buddha is the freedom from outcome. The science versus the art. The raging versus the letting go. The no's versus the yes's. You get the idea. So this week, or rather in the last ten days, I've had two new lays, one with a 20 year old, one with a 22 year old, both hotter than me. I know that's difficult with my male model looks, but yeah, three more shots at the goal. So I've got a date tomorrow night, I've got a date on Friday, and I've got a date on Sunday, and all of them are second dates. So shots at the goal. Three more, potential setups. Hopefully, one or two of them will come through. I also saw a regular this week. So that was, three different girls. I dated seven different girls, say, seven new different girls in the last ten days. That's right. Plus, I had four instant dates. So you can moan about the agony, but I you have to look at it rashly and say that's fucking ridiculous. Alright? For me, I'm 37 years old with my beautiful looks hobbling around. Not bad. Not bad. Even the two lays, you know? I was going for three or four. But, hey, in ten days, I am complaining. So do we need to solve this contradiction? I would say no, because if we want the highs, we have to accept the lows. It's like with those documentaries. If you want the glory, they have to accept the risk. And there is acceptable and unacceptable risk as they talk about in the mountaineering documentary or in in a casino, you'd say when do you play on versus when do you cash in your chips. It's a very thin line. But I enjoy that knife edge. I enjoy, pushing it as much as you can. And I guess a good day gamer knows what is acceptable and unacceptable, when to play on, when to cash in those chips. Yeah. They they know where the line is and you you dabble with it. You flirt with it. That is the enjoyment of it. And as I said to someone else, I can't remember when I said it, but I was pleased when I thought of this. The game, if you like, games you. Because what attracts a girl, as in a bit of drama, highs and lows, pushes and pulls, that's what we call fractionation in game on every level. That's what attracts females. That's what attracts kittens to a ball of wool when you play with it, and you keep it just out of reach. That's very, very exciting. The game does that for you and it does it for a gambler and it does it for a trader. It pushes and it pulls. It's bipolar in nature and it keeps you coming back because you think just around the corner quite literally will be a Swedish 19 year old who will come on an instant date, same day lay perhaps. Or you have a really good run like in golf, you think I've solved it, that's it, amazing. And then you have a losing streak. And you remember the good times, so you keep at it. That is the addictive quality of daygame, of pickup, of girls, travel. Because travel's got that same contradiction, that same bipolar nature. You're thinking, should I keep traveling? Grass is greener on the other side. Should I try a new city? Should I try a new continent? As I talk about in Torero travels, that that, teases you. It keeps you traveling or you find a nice city like I'm in now and you think, should I settle down? Constant dilemma. It's like, at the end of book one, my first book day game, I'm thinking, should I settle down with this girl? Because I was a little bit, romantic in those days. A little bit naive. That was the first few years of daygame. I found a very cool girl, a French girl, and I thought I could give it up for her. Or at the same time, was thinking, well, there's other ones, there's other cool girls, I wanna play on. So there's a dilemma there too. Or as a quote I read says, my heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run. That is the agony and the ecstasy. In the first couple of books, daygame and terror travels, I was pretty positive. I was just focusing on the ecstasy. I've got that, thing about anyway that, has a short term memory in terms of bad experiences. I put it in a zip bag and I throw it away and that keeps me going. Some people like to just focus on the the agony, the woe is me. I think because I've battled with some depression, I'm aware of, being rationally optimistic. I've made a podcast about that. But for my third book, Cold Calling, or rather fourth or fifth book, After Street Hustle and How to Flirt, I thought, okay, I'm gonna give a much more objective view of the reality of daygaming abroad, specifically in the former Soviet Union where fucking hell, you know, stunning girls, stunning, stunning girls, the hottest girls on the planet in some of the most woeful, dilapidated, depressing, disgusting conditions in some right shitholes, if we wanna be polite. So that book is finished. And in that book, I talk about how in Russia, and Ukraine and Belarus and Moldova and Poland, Czech Republic, Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia, I've had some of the greatest daygame experiences with some of the hottest girls I've ever seduced and slept with. But I've also had some of the bleakest times. So I tried to make it fiftyfifty, Agony and Ecstasy, and I put that in the book. That is basically done. I know I published a lot of it on my blog, but since then it's gone to a line editor and a copy editor and it's had a rewrite and it's got all the statistical logistical information in there now. It's got a cover, it's got internal illustrations, it's got maps, it's got photographs. So in the next few days hopefully, I'll be ordering a proof copy going through that and then I'll make it available first as a paperback on Lulu and then it will probably go to Amazon Kindle, I'm thinking. But anyway, enough of a cheeky upsell inside the podcast. Some more ecstasy. Let's finish with some more ecstasy because what else does daygame do if it's a carrot on a stick? So you start seducing girls in your own town. Then perhaps you try a new city in your own country. And then you go on some jollies to other cities and you meet some other like minded fight club ish kind of wing, some daygamers. So immediately, you've got a male social circle, which is fantastic if you're an introvert like me. How else would you meet this group of cool guys? Not for gay game, but for daygame. And then you start perhaps helping other people out for free. And then you start charging a bit of money for your coaching. And then you start traveling to different countries and different continents. I've had many crazy, crazy experiences where I'm full of gratitude. I remember one in a swanky hotel in Las Vegas just looking down onto the neon strip thinking, fucking hell, how did I get here? This is not a movie. This is real life. Or I remember in Miami, flying over Miami into South Beach, going across the blue water, looking down onto the beach and thinking, fucking hell, what is this? This is not a TV program. How did I get here? I've been extremely grateful for travel and then for being able to give up my job and getting into all the flow mad kind of stuff. The girls are the carrot on the stick. So all in all, which one weighs more? It's, of course, the ecstasy. Otherwise, you wouldn't do it if there was more agony than ecstasy. It's the same for the mountain climbers. It's the same for those cave divers. It's the same for the chess player. It's the same for the base jumper. It's glorious. So I'm encouraging you to do it, not just for the girls, but to change your perspective, perhaps to change your city, to change your friendship group, to change your job. This is what I mean by being a black sheep. I've spoken about black sheep in the past. Last year, I put three articles on my blog. What are black sheep? What are the main objections? What are the main beliefs? I'll link those three articles below. But this 2017, I'll be looking a lot more at the lifestyle that goes along with with degging because guys just think it's chutting up girls during the day. And guys will say, well, how do you keep it up? I mean, isn't that a bit selfish? Isn't that a bit narcissistic? Isn't that a bit sad? Just, you know, going out for ten days and keeping stats. Isn't this all a bit sad? You got to zoom out. You got to see the wider picture. You got to see the impact of it. And if you still don't understand that, listen or listen again to podcast a 100 where, yeah, there's some lay stories and it's like bro stories and it's really funny and fantastic. The guys are getting laid, especially the guy that smashes a girl in the casino toilets of the Hippodrome in Leicester Square. That's one of the funniest stories on Podcast 100. But also listen to the changes. Changes for divorced men. Changes for guys at college who, like me, were clueless. Changes for guys who've gotten in better shape. Guys who've changed their career. Guys who've moved out of their house. This is the why the meaning of daygame and ecstasy. The price you pay for that, yeah, is the agony. So I don't want you to think it's all roses, sunshine and roses. If you've done the ten ten challenge this last ten days, you'll understand. You'll understand the highs and the lows. But I shall leave it there for this week. Once again, I remind you if you've done the ten ten challenge and you want a free copy of Stealth Seduction, make sure you leave a little story, a little comment about your last ten days underneath that video, the ten ten challenge. It was one of the last videos I put on YouTube. I'm going home now. I'm knackered. The challenge is complete. Speak to you next week.