---
title: Episode 110 Burnout
episode_number: 110
era: mid
source_file: Episode 110 Burnout.mp3
audio_size_mb: 48.8
duration_sec: 1598.7
duration_min: 26.6
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T16:53:21Z---

# Episode 110 Burnout

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast a 110. I am back from the dead. This podcast is on daygame burnout. Before we dive in as ever, some housekeeping. I'm just about to go off on my July around the world tour, thirty days around the world with my wing, Craig, teaching daygame, doing daygame filming, the daygame documentary. London bootcamp is sold out. New York City bootcamp sold out. Los Angeles on the July 15 in Santa Monica. There's one place left Sydney on the July 22 there's one place left and Munich Germany is sold out we're going to Munich via Singapore from Sydney but we're not teaching a boot camp there we're just there for a stopover a layover hopefully and some filming for the documentary so there you go that's the world tour coming up I've been busy with that for the last month preparing things finalizing flights and accommodation and the filming schedule and the equipment and the la di da di da, but that's all done. So under a week to go now. God save us. Certainly being with Craig Cassidy for hours and hours and hours drinking wine, doing gutter game, being on long flights. Jesus, I nearly died in Las Vegas. I nearly died in that camper van going around Westing Canada last summer with him. So what is gonna happen? We shall find out. The last bit of news is the archive section that I have added to my tomtorero.com website. Lots of people were asking me if I could group together all my key posts, all my key videos all my key content that I've done over the years all the infields key podcasts if I could group them into sections and categories to make them easier to find to make it clear so at the beginning of this month that's what I did if you go to my website it's one of the key tabs at the top and if you've got common questions that you would normally email me guys ask me the same questions every single time pretty much on a a on finding a wing on the London daygame model on texting on the date model on how do I get it back all those key questions they are now categorized in the archive section. If you want them all in one place, you want to hold something big and hard in your hand like your grandmother told you to do, buy a copy of street hustle that's my daygame textbook a to z daygame texting dating and at the back of that in detail are the 100 most commonly asked daygame questions. That book Street Hustle is also available from my website. Okay. Enough of the schmoozing. Let's talk about burnout daygame burnout that sounds like your parent coming into your room going son we need to talk about daygame burnout well guys often worry if they're getting into daygame or they go on a trip for a couple of weeks or they've done a 100 or a thousand sets they say am I gonna get burnout? Am I gonna get sick of it? What's gonna happen? Well, this podcast is really a reflection on where I am now after daygaming for over seven years, living it, doing it full time, being a full time daygamer, a full time daygame coach for over five years, putting out content at one point almost daily, years and years of content and teaching daygame and talking about daygame, making your hobby your life. I'm going to talk about the dangers of that for me. But if you're just getting into it or you've not been doing it for over a year or two years, then don't worry. Burnout is highly unlikely you might get a bit of fatigue here and there but it's hopefully a new hobby for you it's a new passion for you it's exciting for you for you you're seeing this growth hopefully exponential growth you're getting results hotter girls, fast delays, moving from nice guy to secret society, then you're traveling to different cities in your country, going to different countries, meeting guys not for gay game but as they gain wings. It should all be magical and it certainly was magical for me for three four years probably where I just dived into it and anything I've done in my life I obsess about it. I get obsessed about it to the point of wanting to master it and I go all in. So this is the reason for day game burnout. It's not a mystery. I'm, I've had it before but certainly in the last three four five months, I've just lost the mojo. I've lost the mojo for putting out content. I've lost the mojo for teaching daygame. Although I've not been doing much of that this year. I've lost the mojo for talking about it it's all consuming right if I'm not doing day game I was teaching day game or talking about it or putting out content so as I said making your hobby your life yeah it's risky now I get the irony that I'm saying woah it's me I've been burnt out from daygame and you're sitting there thinking well you don't have a real job and you just travel and all you got to do is chat up girls. You're not really in a coal mine, you're not in a North Korean labor camp, you're not living in the eighteenth century. I get it. There's irony in the fact that I'm saying I'm burnt out. But it's an important thing for me to discuss because it's been affecting the quality of my game. It's been affecting my personal happiness and it obviously affects how you view the future. How, I plan to continue this thing in the future. So personally for me it's important and perhaps it's important for you because you're thinking what would happen to you if you did this for over three, over four, over five years if you made it your job, you quit your job, if you travel around the world, if this was your key focus or maybe you're just thinking what is Tom Torero going to do next. But anyway, as I said, cracks showing in my game. Cracks showing in my day game, in my texting, certainly in my dating and my pulling the trigger. Not for a lack of skill but because of boredom. Right? When you do the same linear process hundreds of thousands of times the day game, the texting, the dating, the seduction, you just get bored of it. So I try to speed it up. I just pull pull pull. I'm over pulling because I want to get the job done quickly. I'm certainly missing out comfort. I'm she can see it in my face probably. She can certainly feel it in my vibe, which we shall talk about on the street. Over text, I'm not really engaging in clever text banter. I'm just trying to get her out. If she flakes just move on to the next one. I'm not really doing any long game. The dating is pretty pathetic, know. One date, one drink, just pull her back. Don't really have time for the shit tests can't be that bothered I'm doing my royal flush technique far too often far too early where I'm kind of calling it out which is a bad thing to do in the early stages of seduction kicking them out, just not being bothered with plowing with persisting. Yeah. So that fatigue is showing and it's leading to sloppiness. The impatience is leading to sloppy game from rather arrogantly being entitled because I've had hundreds of lays. I've been having at least two lays a month for many many years. I've slept with a whole variety of girls from different backgrounds, nationalities, different professions and I feel entitled like, hey, this set should go well. You should be hooking now. You should be texting me back on the date. You should be accepting my verbal cocky funny escalation, my physical escalation. You should be coming back to mine. Why aren't you coming back to mine? You should well you're on my bed so this should be happening. What's what's happening? And basic errors come back. Right? Basic errors creep in where I'm reactive, where I'm, as I said, a bit angry, a bit prickly. Right? The royal flush is coming out far too soon. I'm far too logical. Like, I do this, so she should do this. And it's maybe I was thinking in the in the past month or two where things were really unraveling at points. Is this self sabotage? Am I really just trying to fuck it up to the point where I don't fuck because because I'm bored. I'm certainly at times thinking what can I get away with how can I mess with the fundamentals and break the rules to get the same result that's arrogance that's being entitled yep and I've said in other podcasts day makes the highs higher but it makes the lows lower and if you've got an obsessive sometimes depressive or anxious personality, you suffer from stress in any form, day game makes those highs amazing? Right? Bipolar high high high sleeping with a high but the lows can be low. And that's what I mean by burnout. These basic errors compounding on each other and having this catch 22 situation of that affecting your vibe, vibe affecting your results, poor results affecting your vibe, catch 22. And girls are hypersensitive to this stuff. Girls are hypersensitive to your vibe. I had one year out of my teaching career where I did suffer from stress. It was a bit of a tricky class and as the months went by it got confrontational, of reactive, I was losing the frame with them and once you've lost the frame as in pickup you don't really get it back. I'd lost their respect that led to stress and then I was worried about going in the next week and then it went worse and then that added to my stress and catch 22 and kids sense it, puppies sense it, girls sense it. So with game with pickup, once you've got the mechanics down, once you're consistent with your results, once you're certainly above average, you're good or you're very good, it's all about vibe maintenance and inner game. And I know I don't talk about inner game a lot. I avoid talking about inner game certainly to beginners and intermediates because it's a cop out. It's an excuse to not diving in being obsessed and taking action. But once you've mastered all the outer stuff, the inner game, your your core mindsets, your day to day happiness, the vibe that you're giving off, the lifestyle that you're leading is crucial. Vibe maintenance. Vibe maintenance. And I'll come back to that probably throughout the year but at the end of this podcast, I'll talk about how I'm looking into my vibe maintenance to to solve these cracks in the game. Yeah? I'm missing the lightness. I'm missing the fun. I'm missing the joy of it. The creativity, the spark that I used to have. Csiksen Mihau calls this flow. I've spoken about that book flow. It's a wonderful study of human happiness really. And in terms of the flow chart, I've really hit boredom. Not really apathy but but boredom. I need a higher challenge level. I need time out perhaps, but I certainly need to get that buzz to get that flow state. I need a higher challenge level, which is different situations, hotter girls. I've been thinking about doing some bar stuff, just shaking it up. And on the world tour, I'll certainly be doing some lounge bar stuff, some gutter game stuff, some pub stuff, some funny situations. We're against the clock on the world tour just a few days in London, New York, Los Angeles, Sydney, Singapore and Munich. So if we're gonna get laid, the lays have have to happen fast like they did in Canada in very funny strange fucked up situations. How do I know the cracks are showing in my game? Well, I can feel it in terms of my vibe, my inner game And even though I've got laid more than a dozen times already this year, I have had and this is the the flashing red light that I saw in my data. I've had twenty, twenty plus girls this year back in my apartment after daygame texting and dating them. Many of those on my bed, many of those make outs fooling around, but I didn't fuck them. Over 20 girls. Some of them pretty easy opportunities. Some of them where it looked like it was in the bag. Some of them I thought, well, this is strong maybe girls, you know, almost yes girls. In previous years, that would have perhaps been 20 extra lays this year, which would have made it a phenomenal year because we're only into June, end of June. But when I saw that, when I started having these runs, these patterns of behavior, I was seeing princesses where I lost the frame from pulling the trigger too fast, the boil flushing too fast. There was a Dutch princessy girl. There was a Polish or two Polish princessy girls. There were some Colombian and South American princesses where normally I wouldn't have failed those shit tests. But first rule I broke was I got reactive, first one to react loses, gave away the frame, then got reactive, then got logical. It became a frame battle rather than a sexy dance. Yeah. And led to failure. Same with virgins. In previous years, I've had no problems with virgins because I've been willing to put in two, three, four dates. As long as you see escalation on each date and you do it quite rapidly, it works. Had one last year, so on stealth seduction. But this year, there was a Saudi virgin, there was a hot Ukrainian virgin, there was a Belarusian virgin, there was an Australian virgin, and didn't succeed with any of them in terms of having sex. Got a certain way there, amount of the way there and then just gave up, just kicked them out. Was just bored, couldn't be bothered with it, accused them of playing games when really I'm losing basic maneuvers, basic strategy I'm forgetting. And it's really showed in terms of my attitude to flaky girls, to cock blocks. Again, than being non reactive or cocky funny or, just keeping positive vibe from going out and getting more leads. I took some of those flakes personally and I failed cock block situations. Again, just getting reactive, throwing the baby out with the bathwater where a girl's mom would call her or her friends would call her. There was one date, this was horrendous where I was on a date. It was going okay. She was a bit of a madam and she we were on a date in a country where I didn't speak the language and she asked the table next to her for a light for her cigarette. And this group of local guys, five or six of them, they started chatting to her in her language. And then I tried to do the classic Mystery Method stuff of engaging the group, befriending the guys, ignoring her behavior. But I noticed that some of those guys had whispered amongst each other, okay, you look after this guy. While two or three of the guys were trying to pull that girl into a neighboring bar. And those guys were trying to wing for their friends, trying to cock block me, and they pulled her inside the neighboring bar for some excuse. And the at that bar when I went to go in ten minutes later wouldn't let me in. So stolen right under my nose. Pretty, pretty shocking really. That's only happened, I'd say once in the history of my game career. Could I have done anything about it if I'd had a positive vibe? Maybe maybe no. I took sand to the beach as they say I shouldn't have taken that girl to that particular area. I could blame myself. I should always blame myself in these situations. Attraction wasn't enough. You can't negotiate desire. But anyway, something was wrong. Basic errors. A wing of mine said, well, perhaps those guys recognized you and we're trying to poach you anyway. The fact that I didn't speak the language was very tricky because it was six, seven in total against me with the bouncer as well. But anyway, I'm moaning, but you get the idea. And when this happens week in week out, month in month out, and it's compounded over the years, you start to see cracks. So if you've ever been on a day game trip for a week, you'll know that it's tiring. These ups and downs of number farming, number collecting and then waiting for them to text you back and then the flakes and then going on dates and she cancels and then blue balls on the date and LMR and okay you you have a week holiday you think god I enjoyed it but it was tiring then try a two week daygame holiday by the second week god it's stressful you know month try a month on your own. Like I speak about in cold calling when I was going around the Former Soviet Union often like in Moscow spending a month on my own. This was before the gold rush of guys quitting their jobs and going and doing digging together abroad. I was in new cities alone in shitty apartments in the winter. This is the depressive comical stuff you could say that's in cold calling. Because once again, I understand the irony that I've quit my job. I'm traveling around the world just trying to fuck girls. But if you've been in these situations, you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you repeat that as a full time daygamer year in year out, you'll understand where some of these things can come from. Yep. So for the end of the podcast, the last ten minutes or so, we shall talk about getting your mojo back and I've touched upon this in other podcasts but it's timely. It's important for me to taste my own medicine, swallow my own medicine that has slightly sexual connotations but I need to listen to my own advice, take my own advice. Yeah. And I did. I said okay in June, I'm gonna take time out from the grind, from number farming, from constant travel and daygaming, texting, dating, pulling. So the first thing I did was lazy daygame. And if you go on my YouTube channel, yesterday I put out a video from Croatia where I talk about how I got laid this month without doing much cold approach pickup and it's based on pre approach calibration. So looking at girls and kind of guessing okay she's yes strong maybe perhaps from IOI that's indicators of interest or AI's approach invitations. I've said be careful if you're a beginner don't use this strategy as a cop out. Don't use it all the time just to find yes girls. This is fools mate in chess. It's pretty pathetic weak chess but it works. There's dangers to it but if you want to be really lazy and do my kind of snipe again then that's fine. And I speak about that in that video so check that out. And I made that video from Croatia. I flew to Split and then I traveled around some islands and I was just lying on a sunbed swimming in the sea. It was beautiful crystal clear doing some killing, just lying in the sun and doing jack shit. Not talking about daygame, writing about daygame, thinking about daygame, tweeting about daygame, doing daygame. It was hard in many respects because I was surrounded by Croatians which was nice, not too many foreigners. There were Croatians, local Croat, girls that had come from Zagreb and the cities to the coast. These were late teenage early twenties girls in bikinis all around me and I was trying to focus on the fish, trying to focus on the snorkeling, trying to focus on relaxation. So that's why I said do some time out, non day game trips, non daygame holidays, go and do different hobbies, new challenges. So in July, like I said on the world tour, I shall be looking at new daygame challenges. Just filming the documentary will be a flow state pleasure. Traveling with Craig is always a laugh. That'll be a pleasure. Going to these great cities across the world enjoying them, that will be a pleasure. And sure icing on the cake if I do a bit of gutter game, bar game, lounge game, randomly pick up some of these lazy IOIs. Oh, I might get my mojo back and do some proper cold approach. Then yeah, that will rekindle the spark. New challenges, hotter girls if I can find them in those cities that'll give me a bit of mojo. Gratitude, I link that to my time in Croatia where when I was looking at that beautiful sea every morning, every evening when I was snorkeling, I was thinking how fucking lucky I am and I say this many many times. Yeah. That I've been able to quit my job, that I have the resources to do this, that I can travel, that I've got health, that I've got family and friends, that I've got girls in my life, and that I can go to these beautiful places and do these things, see these things. Fuck how many people would, you know, trade in what they've got for for that. So to constantly remind yourself that it could be far far far far far far worse. Yeah. I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. It's an interesting study, daygame burnout and the day game cracks and basic errors and looking at looking at sloppiness in your game. That is of interest to any athlete, to any sports person, to anybody, who obsesses about a particular thing, they try to get great at it, you have to examine your progress. Yep, self reflection is important particularly if you're a coach. I spend my time telling other guys what to do but you have to take a good hard look at yourself and that's why I look at my data. That's why I still think the girl is your mirror. So you're getting feedback all the time from girls and listen to it. It's a free coach. So you're on the street. How is she responding to you? How did she respond to your approach? How is she responding to your teasing and your challenging? Are they too harsh? Are they negs? Are you not smiling? Are you too close? Are you too reactive? Are they all walking off? You'll be able to tell if it's a solid set by the hook, by the length, are you bedding it down with rapport, are you getting her to do the work. You'll know it's been a good set because she texts you back and then on the date, she'll be giving you a lot of feedback and remember shit tests are good. So if she's asking you all the classics how old are you why are you single what do you want bloody bloody blah it's a good sign and it's giving you an opportunity to practice Calmness, holding the frame. Option number one is just to ignore it with the cheeky smirk. Option number two, cocky funny. Agree and amplify. Don't get reactive like I've been doing. Don't talk politics like I did with that bloody Dutch girl. I never talk about politics because I'm just not interested in politics but that's what she was studying and she baited me into it and we'd had a few drinks. That was a disaster. Don't talk about religion. Don't call it out. The secret society is secret. It's nonverbal. It's implied. It's implicit. The moment you make it explicit, the magic's ruined. It's revealing the magic trick. Yep. I've got that technique of the royal flush but that's your last last last last last resort. It's extreme elephant in the rooming. When you've tried everything else, she's on your bed, you've tried rolling off, you've tried push pull, push pull, you've tried two steps forward, one step back and all that. She's still playing silly buggers, then you do royal flush. Okay? I've got videos on this. I've got podcasts on this. But I was doing it way too early. Just the fact that she was late or she had flaked or she gave me a certain shit test. I would react and the first one to react loses. So reflection, calmness, rising above it's gonna help my game. Maybe it will help your game if you're in a similar situation if you're saturated by by digging. But for most people and I hope most people listening to this podcast, you're still enjoying it. You're still excited about it. It's still a passion. It's still a new hobby for you. You're still seeing progress. You're taking action action to get out of your head, bungee jump into the now. So hopefully you're not having this burnout. But if you are in a mini form, then take a break. But it's still, what's the saying? It's better to burn out than rust out. So better to not be sitting there watching videos, reading theory. Better to get burn out from actually doing it. At least that shows you're moving in the right direction. Yeah? Going all the way, you're getting obsessive about it. Benjamin Franklin said, fatigue is the best pillow. It certainly gives you a bloody good sleep. In Croatia, I was sleeping like a horse. Is that the same? Sleeping like a dog. Sleeping like a local Croat who had been well fed and was lying in the sun it was beautiful anyway I shall finish there a little bit early but that's all I've got to say on the topic of burnout because I don't want to burn out anymore that was podcast a 110 I don't know how I'm gonna be able to do them on the world tour if I can do them with regularity but I'll be putting out content putting out video diaries from making this daygame documentary I shall try to put out a podcast once a week but I don't know if I can make it on the same day. But there we go. If you want that LA place on the July 15 or you want that Sydney place on the July 22, tom@tomtorero.com. Thank you for putting up with that little silence onwards and inwards. Keep grabbing life by the horns and I'll speak to you soon.