---
title: Episode 123 Sexual Habits Of Men & Women (Dataclysm)
episode_number: 123
era: mid
source_file: Episode 123 Sexual Habits Of Men & Women (Dataclysm).mp3
audio_size_mb: 57.2
duration_sec: 1872.8
duration_min: 31.2
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.994
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T16:56:48Z---

# Episode 123 Sexual Habits Of Men & Women (Dataclysm)

**Speaker 0:** Hello, comrades, and welcome to the Tom Torero podcast episode a 123 on to clism. I'm on the road soon to be heading back to London to film the final pieces of the puzzle for the daygame documentary. And then in October back to mother Russia, like Tolstoy somewhere deep inside a forest in isolation with just a few bits and bobs of daygame and dating to relieve the stresses of a massive edit for this documentary. I hope to get it out in late November, let's say early December. I'm also slightly behind, I apologize on getting cold calling out onto Kindle. But I've been here, there and everywhere with travel. I've just got back from Slovenia via Croatia. So yeah, all systems go. Definitely not slowing down. In November, I shall be in the Balkans before it gets too cold. Then I shall be on my yearly pilgrimage to Japan, a different city in Japan. And then in December, hopefully, the snow will have fallen back to the Alps, back to Slovakia perhaps or the South Of Poland for some skiing. And then new project announcements, reviewing 2017, thinking ahead to the madness of 2018. There we go. I'm getting ahead of myself because today we are going to be reviewing our second book. Last week it was A Billion Wicked Thoughts. This week maybe you've read it. If not, I'll be reviewing and giving notes for Dataclysm by Christian Rudder. But before that, some homework if you like for next week's podcast, a 124, not on a book but on a blog article I wrote a couple of days ago called, the evolution of daygame. If you go to ww.tomterrero.com you'll find that as the top article right now on the blog and it talks about day game one point zero, day game two point zero into day game three point zero. I highlight the differences. I talk about the history of the theoretical model that we know and love today, how that came about and the characters involved in that. And at the bottom, guys have already started asking questions for next week's podcast. So if you want to know about the difference, how daygame has evolved from indirect to direct, structured free flowing, the difference between social, sexual attraction, arousal, etcetera, etcetera. Leave your comments on that blog post. Don't leave them on YouTube. Go to the blog. They're all in one place and I shall answer them next week. Alright. Let's dive in. Not as many notes, not as chaotic as last week because this book, whilst it's good, it's also on big data, it's on looking at people's search results. It's not as juicy, it's not as meaty, it's not as raw as a billion wicked thoughts because the disclaimer is that Christian Rudder who was one of the co founders of OkCupid and that's where the data in the book comes from, He bless him is very very Disneyfied. He's very blue pill, just very naive even though he he was working for one of the world's biggest dating sites or he was one of the owners. Since then, he's parted with the company but there's a bias. Things are watered down. He's got a wife and a kid, think, so he has to tow the party line. It's it's pretty PC. Even though he gives raw data, he tries to sugarcoat it, let's say, but there's there are still nuggets of gold. Would I say read this one? If you've got time and you enjoyed a billion wicked thoughts, okay, and you're really into secret society stuff then okay, but if not a much better read is something like Sperm Wars or as I keep nagging you to do the bible for evolutionary biology of daygame and dating which is the evolution of desire by professor David Buss or last week's book a billion wicked thoughts which was really really good. So let's dive into the notes I made as I was reading Mr. Roosh's book. He's got data from OkCupid backdoor data stuff that people had never seen before and also he was looking at other dating companies as well online dating companies like match.com and this is global data. People using these sites across the world so it's not just US data. And remember, this is guys and girls clicking on dating websites so it's not cold approach pickup. It's not daygame data as many of us gather across the world. There's a lot of crossover there because obviously what people fantasize about and are interested in and find visually attractive and attractive traits, they remain the same. The hardwiring is the same. So he makes, first of all, very good points about big data and how big data I. E. Collecting clicks and views from the internet looking at what people actually search for rather than what they say they're interested in. That's really really useful for understanding human behavior, human psychology which is based on evolution. He says how every man's existence hasn't been worth recording up to now apart from where it intersects with a legend. But this asymmetry of data collection is ending because we are getting millions billions of data points that up until now in human history haven't been recorded. So yeah, that's true. He praises or identifies how ratings one to five, one to 10 stars, likes, dislikes, etc. They are everywhere on the internet for a reason because it's perfect for company data collection. So websites ask you to vote because that vote turns something fluid and idiosyncratic I. Your opinion, into something they can understand and use. Males rating females and vice versa. And he's got data from that over 51,000,000 times. So of course, it's interesting how men rate women which they do even though white knights say they don't and how women rate men which they do visually but with other SNV aspects which we shall come on to. And as Rudder correctly identifies ratings, human behavior is very predictable. It's very centered and now with big data, it's unbiased because it's, you know, secret clicking. But as he also notes, men and women perform a different sexual calculus. His findings show that a woman, as I said last week when talking about a billion wicked thoughts, a woman he notes in his data is over the hill quote unquote at the age of 21. So most guys are identifying attracted to clicking on thinking about interested in late teens and age 20 and age 21. So a woman's highest rate on these dating websites is as he says twenty, twenty one, 22 for every group of guys. So that's you know, teenage boys are interested in these girls, guys in their 20s, guys in their 30s, yep, and guys in their 40s, 50s, 60s. A 50 year old man's idea he says of what's hot is roughly the same as a college kid's. There you go. So that's pretty MPC but he said it. And he also points out despite being married what men claim they want is quite different from their private voting data. I love this was this made me chuckle on the airplane when I read it. He says word for word, there aren't many 50 year old men successfully pursuing 20 year old women. Now perhaps that's true on his website, perhaps that's true for online dating but I know three or four guys right now in their 50s, 50, 51, 52 who are traveling around the world, keeping good shape, not being providers or sugar daddies, not on Tinder, not online. They're doing daygame and I've been there. I've lived with these guys when they're bringing home 21 year old girls, 24 year old girls hot just from direct cold approach pickup. So perhaps RUD would be interested in daygame data. Now when does a man fall off the cliff metaphorically? If we say a woman hits the wall quite rightly at 21, his online data shows, men fall off a cliff at the age of 40. He says that's the limit. Women send more though not less messages to a man as he gets older up until mid thirties. So there are nuggets of truth in that. Yes, I would say peak male SMV honestly peaks between 35 and 40. You could say the thirties are the best time to be a guy, right? When you can cash in all the value that you've built, you can display it all, that's when the most women are interested in you and certainly that's when my best day game has been I was lucky to get into it at 29 and then reap the rewards certainly 35, 36, 37 I'm going to be 38 in October but still going strong. So let's say okay after forty day game gets harder sure. You have to have your grooming and your weight and your fashion and your health on point. You have actively not look like a dad, have the dad bod, you have to everything just takes longer to take care of itself. But loads and loads and loads and loads of proof from students all over the world who are in their 40s doing it. So yeah, it gets tougher but you can do it and I'm sure Rudd doesn't know that. Remember he's talking about online clicks. Now this is interesting. As a guy gets older, his interested pool from women grows as we just said definitely in a man's thirties. A woman's pool shrinks as more men either pair off and fewer of them find her attractive. So he describes it for a woman, bless her, as a can with two holes. It drains on the double. So the number of single men is shrinking rapidly, yep, as men age. There are ten million single men in The United States aged 20 to 24, but only 5,000,000, thirty to thirty four year old men and only 3.5 million forty to forty four year old men. Therefore, can you see male advantage in being single? He points this out. I don't know what age Roosh got married but stay single. Classic advice I think from black dragon Caleb is don't even have a girlfriend in your 20s. Certainly not a long term girlfriend, there are advantages to having a girlfriend learning about neediness and oneitis and loss of frame and toughening you up and living with a girl that teaches you a lot of lessons. But you should be here, there and everywhere. You should be free. You should be a CAD. Definitely up until 35 I say to clients. If they're talking to me on Skype and they're 30, I say no, don't move in with a girl, don't have a serious girlfriend, enjoy daygame, go crazy. Have all those experiences you want to experience and then sure, if you want to cash in your chips because of having children, that's fine but go in with your eyes open. But as Rada says, there's a massive advantage to staying single because guys disappear from the mating market, dating and mating market and more women find you attractive. So double win. Interestingly online he says out of the older guys many are less likely to contact someone even though they find her attractive they don't actually message younger girls from social shame. So there's more advantage if you do approach them. Sure, you polarize. I see with guys in their forties and fifties and I talk about this on the real Hank Moody podcast or the podcast daygame for older guys. You're polarizing. Some girls are just like, no way. No way. Other girls are like, oh yes, 50 shades of grey fantasy, teacher fantasy, boss fantasy. Yeah. So you find the girls that are into you. Alright. We will continue. He says, again, quite rightly, a great game concept. Be distinctive. Do not be vanilla. Do not blend in. Do not wear chinos and a baggy golf shirt and look like every other 30, 40 year old guy. Stand out. Alright. Don't try to blend in with her views. Don't try to be PC. You want to get a profile. He's talking about online profiles but we're talking about daygame where girls either love you off the bat. Don't be meh as he describes it. He makes the analogy of being like a cult film where people either hate it and give you one star reviews or they absolutely worship this weird and wonderful film and they even make fan sites about it. You want devotees, you want devotion. And I'll make a podcast on the cult of personality in the future but he's right. Repelling some people, I. E. Girls, draws others all the closer. So if you have a real standout look on the street, some girls are gonna hate it, some guys are gonna hate it, some girls and guys are gonna love it. Yeah. So he says quite nicely, a floor is a powerful thing. To be university universally liked is to be relatively ignored. So as we say and again, be polarizing. And online interestingly he says that gets you 70% more messages than just the bland boring copy paste vanilla nodding guys. Yeah. You want variance. It just means more people like you a lot and dislike you a lot. So good on Roosh for saying that. He then goes a bit woolly. He's talking about, how it's great that we're writing more than ever thanks to the internet. That's true. You know, people moan about teenagers not reading and writing. They're probably writing more than ever in human history with comments and captions and tweets and certainly reading the art of skimming web pages, blog posts, sites, news sites, getting knowledge from YouTube and audiobooks is sensational. People are so clued up now. I love it. He makes an interesting point about online, you can predict the strength of a relationship. Now he's talking about obviously vanilla Disney monogamy but you can apply this to friendships. The more mutual friends two people share as the algorithm goes, the stronger their relationship and that pans out definitely. That's Facebook data. Anyway, on to seduction. He says there are two questions which have an amazing predictive power with correlation and I thought this is interesting. You might be able to chuck this into your instant day or one. These two questions, the first one is do you like scary movies? And I ask girls what kind of movies they like. That's a seeding point. It's a good topic as well. So he says do you like scary movies? Ask her that and then ask her, have you ever traveled alone to another country? He suggests them as first aid questions as three quarters of people answer either both yes or both no. And they're good predictors. I call it intel on the girl. So if she likes horror movies and she's traveled alone, okay. Both green lights. Okay. She likes thrills, she likes adrenaline, she likes exploration and finding herself and banging American or Australian guys in hostels. So good correlation, good seeding questions but yeah, he's right on that. Okay. Something surprising from Roosh and that he goes there. I was surprised he goes there. When he looks at the statistics of how race impacts on attraction, online dating, on clicks and messages, etcetera. And, yeah, for such a controversial topic in The United States, he puts in the data. He could have left it out, but respect to him. He puts it in and he divides up the data into white, black, Latino and Asian. And his main point throughout that chapter is that blacks are underappreciated by non black users followed by Asians. And he can't really reconcile this obviously with PC statements. So he says, I'm quoting him, our schema is still out of step with how most of us know the world should be. So there you go. That's the difference between wanting the world to behave a certain way and realizing how the world actually works. And he goes on to say, Racial boundaries get patrolled primarily in the realm of dating. So there you go. He touches on the subject. You can read more into it and what Asian girls find attractive, Asian guys find attractive, Latinos, whites, blacks, etcetera. But the gist of it, here's an example. He says black women get 75% of the number of messages other women do. So he's looking at that, preference. He, remember, only has data on the messages up until the point when two people decide to meet up. After that, as he openly admits he doesn't have data on the actual date or did they get laid or what happened. So, yeah, that's lacking in the book but, okay. This was, red pill quote unquote secret society gold when he talks about the significance of beauty for girls. Goes again, well done to Roosh because he goes against the all women are beautiful, there's no such thing as beauty, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No. Beauty is clearly defined. This is why it's so stupid when guys say I don't define women on a scale of one to 10. I like them for their inner glow. So you lying bastard, you know the difference between a girl you wouldn't bang and a girl you would bang. You know the difference between a cute girl, a hot girl and a fucking hot girl. Yeah. Cause that's your your DNA crying out and how beauty is so impactful for girls on their dating lives and in their lives in general. It has an exponential effect he says. He talks about a hot woman's inbox as we know. There's dating coaches that have done example, Tinder profiles or online dating profiles as hot girls and yeah, you can only imagine a hot girls even what sap. It would be fucking nuts daily. He says on Facebook, every percentile of attractiveness gives a man two new friends. It gives a woman three. For males, being good looking is not exponential but linear in the way it impacts on your life but for women, yep, it's exponential. In job applications, a man's looks for example doesn't really affect his prospects but for a woman, it's everything. And as I said last week from Billion Wicked Thoughts, objectification, it's genetic and women sexually, want to be objectified. It's written in the stars. Okay. It's written in the stars and go back to last week's podcast for the justification, the data behind that. More attractive women get better jobs. They are acquitted more often in courts of law. He goes through stuff like this And how social media and the internet has of course made beauty more important. So even though PC people want to say, no, we're not concentrating on looks and there's no difference between men and women. The internet has made all this much clearer and big data shows us how evolutionary biology tells us why. Okay. Right. The next point he says the power of what people search for on Google is great obviously because with the search there's just no ask, you just tell. So Google, he described as a repository for humanity's collective ID. This is my favorite paragraph in the book. I'll quote it word for word. It, he means Google, hears our confessions, our concerns, our secrets. It's a doctor, a priest, a psychiatrist, a confidant. So he's talking about the power of Google trends which are used to you know predict the stock market or uncover drivers in economic productivity, flu epidemics etc. When people type in and you get the Google auto complete, it's fascinating. You can try it. Start by typing into Google. Why do women and you get answers as he says like cheat. Why do women cheat? Why do women have periods? Why do women wear high heels? Why do men pull away? Why do men fall in love? Why do men lie? So you get a lot of data obviously Google is a private company so, we're not saying that the data is non bias of course and people are showing now how Google is skewing its own search results and there's a backlash against that but for finding out still now you can do it secret society red pill truths have fun with Google auto complete. Again another point from last week when I spoke about the genetic, origin of homosexuality and the global percentage, a billion wicked thoughts came up with five percent. And this book, dataclysm, also from these dating website owners confirm. It's about five percent and he also agrees that it's genetic rather than external forces. So you can take it as that five percent of guys are gay. Okay. Looking for casual sex. I spoke about this last week. Implicit versus implicit and how women's women don't just want you to go yo wanna fuck or yo dick pic. This is why super direct verbal game is just nonsense because it's created by men. It's a misunderstanding of the nuances of chess. And he forgive this drilling. People are not fucking. Some of these constructing something in the property next door. What was I saying? Yeah. Six point one percent of straight men, 6.9% of gay men, and 7% lesbians are on OkCupid looking explicitly for casual sex and that makes sense. Just advertising, hey, wanna fuck. I'll say those again. 6.1% straight, 6.9% gay and 7% lesbian but only 0.8% of straight women are advertising for, casual sex. So even if they want it, you need the plausible deniability, there's the sliding scale of you know Madonna and whore, she still wants to lock down the bad boy. If you still don't understand all that stuff then you don't really understand the secret society. Okay, so sure you get those lesbians and high testosterone bisexual females who are enjoying being so open but even those girls want to lock down a guy because they want to have kids so bisexual relationships certainly that I've had fizzle out and she moves on and she might go straight back to just liking guys and settling down. Alright, next data point he says fifty one percent of women and eighteen percent of men have had or would like to have had a same sex experience. So that stands out like we spoke about last week. Fifty one percent of women have had or would like to have a same sex experience. It's fluid. Alright. There's evolutionary reasons for that. Read the evolution of desire why women like to try. They kiss their best friend. They fool around in bed. Half of women but only eighteen percent of men. So bisexuality for women is common. You should be pushing for that in your daygame. You should be finding out the intel. Has she kissed her best friend? Has she thought about it? What kind of girls does she like? Has she tried it? Look at my post how to have a threesome because if you find a bisexual girl, you can sleep with a straight girl together. Alright? Work in tandem. Look at that post on my website how to have a threesome. And then he goes a bit more meta which I like. He's talking about this big data creating new kinds of maps. So people's clicks and responses he calls the behavioral terrain of the world and this is all new stuff, it's fascinating. And quite rightly he says we need decades of data or decades more data to build these maps fully. So we might have rather than a geo geological map of the world, a map of countries, we can have a map of lust. And he points out something very interesting. He says, lust in theory should have no state but it does. If you're looking at search terms of lust, of casual sex, he comes up with North, Central And West Western United States seem to be more sexually adventurous and sexually aggressive. On paper these places like Pierre, South Dakota say they're conservative but they're actually seem to be very kinky. Why? Quite rightly, again he identifies that it's because of limited options means that more people are trying on a dating site. So there's not enough daygame there, there's not enough crazy one nightstand bar experiences there. So that's why people are searching. But in the future we'll have lust maps. There's already global daygame data because guys are doing it all over the world and comparing notes. That's what Torero travels and cold calling is about. But we're in the infancy, as I say, in that evolution of daygame post, which I want you to read for next week. You know, a formalized daygame structure has only been around for ten ish years. Right? So it's nothing. We need more data. And I would encourage you to keep data on cities. I've made podcasts and podcasts on why day game data is important. And lastly, my last note I've made, he says, women are using apps, correct, to predict and manage their menstrual cycles. So data from these apps can show when a user is pregnant or getting older or having unprotected sex because she, when she's late, she 'll be checking the thing unusually often. So this is gold. Alright. And these companies that make these apps, that run these apps, they already have this data but for daygamers who are in the secret society, daygame three point zero, you're looking at pre approach calibration, I've spoken about a woman's ovulation window, how to spot when a girl is horny, obviously in the horny day she's looking for a lover not the provider, all this is cold. So if a daygamer could get hold of that data that would be interesting. I always used to fantasize and I'd say to students, imagine all the girls are walking around in your daygame city and on their head they've either got a green light, an amber light or a red light. So green light would be the yes girls, amber light would be the maybe girls where game is played and red light would just be no. And I've said that the different lights would be different for different guys. You'd be seeing different lights because she might be a yes girl for one guy and a no girl for another guy etcetera etcetera. But wouldn't that be amazing? Wouldn't that take up all the sting and woah out of quote and quote rejection? But it's a fantasy because you have to go up there and find out is she yes, is she maybe, game on, don't eject or is she just a no. And that no girl, as I said, in fourteen days time, she might be a yes girl. So she might just be having a bad day, she might be, PMT, she might have just been fucked by a bad boy, who knows? But there you go. The future of big data and how it will impact on exposing raw biological evolutionary red pill truths. And you can hide from it, but I say the truth hurts and it sets you free. What's the phrase I start cold calling with? It's better to be slapped in the face with the truth than kissed with a lie. That's a very old Russian proverb and how good that is for those two books, A Billion Wicked Thoughts and Dataclysm. If you enjoyed this kind of stuff, go back to Sperm Wars, go back to Evolution of Desire, go back to The Red Queen, go back to The Selfish Gene. Professor Richard Dawkins, my old tutor at Oxford, they'll thank you for it if you need a bit of brushing up. All this stuff's fascinating. If you want an easy read with kind of racy case studies, read Sperm Wars or read My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. Alright, that sums up, podcast 123, how the world is not how you want the world to be. We're focusing on science rather than feelings. We are focusing on biology not ideology and what's the message from that second book especially, Dataclysm? It's really to sort your SMV, not only to cold approach, which is the value delivery mechanism, but it's to sort your SMV. So if you do fit a racial stereotype, get out of the box. Alright? If you're not in good shape, get in good shape. If you need basic grooming and fashion, sort it out. If you've got spots, I've made a video on it, Roacutane. If you look like everybody else, differentiate, polarize. If you keep falling into monogamy, stay single. If you're 25 or 30 or 35, yeah. If you're 40, you can keep going. Even if you're 50, remember there are daygamers who are keeping going. Stay single my friends because the market gets easier as you age. That was podcast 123. Next week, where shall I be? In Russia. So, until then,