---
title: Episode 14 Myth of Natural Game
episode_number: 14
era: early
source_file: Episode 14 Myth of Natural Game.mp3
audio_size_mb: 79.2
duration_sec: 2595.9
duration_min: 43.3
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:00:07Z---

# Episode 14 Myth of Natural Game

**Speaker 0:** Podcast 14. It's me, Tom Torero, back in Seedy Soho in London. A little bit tired because I've just finished, a day out with a guy doing some digging coaching. And even though it said it was gonna be rainy, was pretty nice actually. The sun was peeping through, and it felt a bit spring like. Girls were around, even some skirts. They were out. So hallelujah. It's nice to be back in London anyway. Having a bit of a breather from from the travels and the flow mad stuff, before I hit the road again soon. Anyway, for this podcast on YouTube and on my Facebook and through some emails, guys have been asking me questions. So this is another q and a podcast, and hopefully, I'll have time to go through all the questions I got. Like I said, some were through YouTube, some were on my Facebook page, and some some of the questions were emailed by, by guys or as part of a longer email. So let's just dive in. I'll answer as many as I can in half an hour. And if there's some left, we'll just carry it over to another q and a. Alright. The first question's a really good one by a guy called Charles. He lives in Plymouth in The UK, and he emailed me about lots of other things. But the standout question that he wanted me to answer on this podcast was this. He says, guys talk a lot about natural game, quote, unquote, and just being yourself. I'm confused between spending time learning game day and night or just trying to be a confident, cool guy. Now that is a very, very good question. It's such a big important topic, especially at the moment in the world of pickup. It's a hotly debated subject because you've got guys that reject old school pickup. They even reject pickup in using the word game or seduction. And yeah, they talk about natural game, being yourself, being well rounded, being holistic. They say that they're not trying to pick up girls, blah dee blah dee blah. I think you can already tell from the tone of my voice where this is going. But it's not to say that one or the other is right. As like a lot of things in life, the answer lies in the middle. Okay? Because openly, I would say I am a pickup artist. I have a skill set in pickup artistry in that I've looked into ways and means of seducing attracting and seducing women that work and that are repeatable and that I can now pass on to other people. So there is a skill set. It's not just a numbers game. And it's something that I go out intentionally to do even though guys have the pipe dream of just doing it as and when, like on a magical cloud, it just happens. I go out intentionally to meet and sleep with hot girls, and I use a road map, a structure, which I've internalized and now I've kind of abandoned, but I certainly use a structure. If I was just being myself as in my, let's say, 21 year old self at uni, it would be absolutely disastrous. Yeah? Because there are concrete things that guys can change. If you point them out and somebody teaches this to you like fashion, like grooming, like your voice, like your posture, and then all the verbal stuff like your flirting skills, yeah, your attraction material, your banter, and then your conversational tools, and then finally, your dating tools, what to do on a date, and how to escalate verbally and physically, even online game or texting or long game, whatever. There's patterns that are repeatable and can be passed on. So immediately you see that that's not just going in blind and hoping for the best because you might get results but they're gonna be very hit and miss. And I think any coach that just says to a guy, give me your money, and then he pushes you into a girl and says, good luck, be yourself, that's very irresponsible. And you could say it's damaging in the long term because that guy is having very random results and that's very wishy washy advice. It's a bit like Imagine you went for a driving learning to drive. You went for a driving lesson in a manual car if you're listening to this in The US. Us Brits, we like our manual gears. Imagine you got in in lesson number one, the instructor just said, well, just feel the car, baby. Just just be confident. Good luck. Off you go. And yeah, sure, after a year or two of fiddling around, you might work out how to do it, but you'd be making a lot of mistakes with bad habits. Same with the gym or martial arts. I always use the example of martial arts. Imagine if you you didn't know how to box like I do and you went to a gym that said boxing lessons and the instructor just said, well, boxings, you already kind of know it. You just need to be like a man. You need to be confident. Yeah. Give it a go. All the best. And you you you gave it a go on the punch bag, then he said, right. Now you're actually gonna fight a guy who's been learning techniques and drills for about five years. Good luck. So, obviously, you can see that there is structure and there are fundamentals. Now that's completely different from routines as in the old canned long stacks, which I've seen in action and I know they work. And I used to use routines and stacks, but I, I abandoned those in favor of patterns and a road map. So I knew where I was in the seduction. I knew what I was doing. And certainly, I've internalized a lot of that old stuff. So in the beginning, you're kind of what do they always say? In the beginning, you're unconsciously incompetent. That means like when I was 18 and just clueless with girls, but I didn't know I was clueless because I was just completely in the dark. Then you're consciously incompetent that you suddenly think, I want girls but I can't do it. Then through learning bits and bobs from fashion to flirting to conversation, you become consciously competent. That means you know what you're doing but it's quite logical but you can do it. And then the nirvana state, the flow state is the unconscious competence. The unconscious competence like an athlete or a musician or a good day gamer or a good night gamer where everything's internalized and then you feel free. And then you feel like you could be yourself. And then you can be quote unquote natural. Or as my friend Rob says, you can be supernatural because you can outperform guys that are kind of natural because they've been doing it since they were 15. So, yeah, learn social dynamics, Charles. Learn structures. Learn fundamentals, but don't become a game nerd. You don't have to learn scripts and weird NLP and stacks and all that. But don't fall, I would say, for the marketing gimmicks of people passing off natural game or giving any other kind of label because they're often doing that just to differentiate themselves from calling themselves pickup artists or calling it game. Just so that will attract clients. Yeah. And especially after recent media events surrounding certain pickup artists, companies are like, right, we don't wanna call ourselves PUAs or game. We wanna be all natural and woolly and friendly. But you can't be half a gangster. Yeah, you gotta own what you do. And I say, I'm attracted to girls. I meet girls. I pick up girls, and I'm not ashamed of it. Alright? So there you go. That was a long winded answer to Charles' question, but it's a really, really good question. Cheers, mate. Okay. Hopefully, the next one's a bit quicker. This is from a guy calling himself Malmere one. And he says, I've been actively daygaming for the last six months going out almost every week. He's done around 500 to 600 approaches. Yesterday, he got braces. So whenever he opens his mouth, they can see the metal tracks. I'm only 18, so with these braces now, I stand out as a horny little teen. I've had no problem gaming women from 18 to 40, but now I have these, they will know I'm this young little teen. Braces aren't exactly seen as a positive for a teen. The main issue I have now is that whenever I talk to a girl, she will see my braces when I open my mouth and I'll probably come across as this young guy doing a dare blah blah blah blah blah. And he finishes with, I'm really not sure what I want to do as I don't want to stop daygaming because I know this thing works. Alright, mate. Well, always interesting to look at the wording of how people write their questions. And if you listen to me read that back to you, if this is you asking that question, you'll hear your negative beliefs as you're typing these away. Like braces aren't exactly seen as a positive or they will know I'm this young little teen. Okay. So you're already framing it in your mind as as negative as a prison. And we interestingly imprison ourselves with our beliefs because we construct the reality that we believe other people are thinking. That's the spotlight effect here. So it's like with a guy who says, I'm too short, people won't like me, or I'm too tall, girls won't like me, or I'm too young, a bit like you or I'm too old or I'm too skinny or I'm too fat. Whereas the the truth largely is that if you're cool with it, she's gonna be cool with it. Yeah? Because what you feel, she feels. So, the good news is that you're only 18, so you've got at least another twenty years of real proper daygame seduction, so no worries about that. Get your teeth sorted because that will help in the long run with your sexual market value. I wish I had done that. It would have saved me a lot of bother. And for the moment, just learn to be desensitized to your braces. You could embrace them. Make a little joke out of them. Make a little joke out of your age. I always say to teenagers, you know, talk to girls or talk to women and say, oh my god. I can't believe you're preying on toy boys like myself, you know. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should know better. And it's calling out the elephant in the room. So when you say it, all that tension is relieved, and she's probably not even thinking about it. And you're lucky because you can go if you're 18, you can go for 16 and 17 year old girls, 18 year old girls, and they're teenagers as well. They might have braces as well. If you're cool with it, they're gonna be cool with it. Alright, mate? But you lucky bastard, you're 18. It's gonna be amazing for the next twenty years. Alright. The next one comes from Elmer Karim. And he says, hi, Tom. I'm 19. Another young chap. And I moved to London for about one month. I have absolutely lost all my friends from college as they went to other countries, and I don't have a single friend in London. How do you think I should keep myself motivated and start from zero again both with girls and my social life? Thank you. Alright, mate. Well, again, you're 19. You're learning this stuff ten years ahead of me. I started learning it when I was about 29. So you've got years and years to master this, and good on you for getting your life sorted so early on. And I feel with you because when I came to London, I didn't know anybody, and London can be very lonely when you first arrive. It seems very anonymous and, grumpy. So your first job is to get social before you think about attraction and dating and getting sexual. Guys need to learn the social stuff first. Now you don't say if you're in uni or not, but if you're in uni, I wish I had done this, join clubs, join societies, become friends with guys. Alright? Not gay game, just being social. And through these social events, you can start to flirt with girls. But the main thing is you're getting out of your room and you're being social. If you're working in an office or a shop or whatever, again, befriend the guys and organize after work drinks with the guys and the girls. Be the leader. Be the instigator because everybody's a lemming. Everybody likes a leader. I used used after work drinks and I used the website meetup.com. I'll put the link below. And to be honest, a lot of guys and girls use it as a kind of a semi dating thing. But meetup.com is a website across all the major cities of the world, massive in London, and it organizes just meetups for different groups, whether that's like salsa or jazz or cinema or weird fetish things or flower arranging or pottery or art. You just sign up for free, join an event, and turn up. And I used to go to walking tour ones. And I did like I say in my book, daygame, I did have early success with one girl I went on a walking tour with. She probably wasn't the best girl. I remember, I think she was a lawyer. And it was good. It was learning to be social. And then add in the daygame. So you can do daygame solo. You can meet wings just by walking up and down Oxford Street on a Saturday or going to Regent Street on a Saturday, you'll see lots of guys doing their game and feel free, approach them and be nice and courteous and courteous and say, you know, you'll buy them a coffee or a beer if you can try going out with them. That's cool. Or you can look on local forums for wings. But I always say be very careful of the online pickup world. It's very it can be very weird and have all sorts of dark corners as a lot of the internet has, but I can't knock it because I did find my original on my second wing after Rami. I found this the guy who's in the book daygame. I found him from an online forum and then we got the hell off that forum because of its negativity and weird trolls and all that kind of stuff. You just get off the forum, stick with your wing, and go and learn not just sociability but obviously daygame. So daygame will change your life in London, but get that social that social muscle built up as well. Yeah? And let me know how it's going. Keep in touch. Again, I think it's amazing that somebody of your age has come to a big city like London, grabbing life by the horns and getting all this stuff sorted. You are gonna be a beast, my friend, by the time you're 21. So awesome. Alright. A kind of an opposite question from a guy called Tim. And I know this dude and I know what he's talking about, but hello, Tim. Just to just to reassure you, I am gonna come and see you. I'm sorry February's been a bit manic because I've been in Prague and Poland and Morocco and all this unexpected travel. But I will come and see you in this place that you're talking about. And Tim says, how do you go about daygame in a small city? Because he lives in quite a small city. And it's a very valid question that guys ask a lot correctly because you can't just burn a small high street by jumping in front of girls and going super direct and doing 20 approaches every time you go out like you could do in London or New York or even Sydney, yeah, or Moscow. So a small city in my head is anything under a million people. Cause I've worked out, as I say on my podcast about the world's best daygame locations, I've worked out that for it to be a really functioning, functionable daygame city, it needs to have a million plus people. It needs to be fluid and pedestrian and etcetera. You know, the weather needs to be okay and it needs to be safe and there needs to be students. You need to be able to walk around. But a small city, people know each other. There's social circles. There's nothing illegal or wrong about doing lots of daygame or gills knowing that you're a bit of a player, but, yeah, you can burn the city. So in small cities or towns, you need to do daygame discreetly. That means not doing the jump in front stop all the time unless it's the only thing you can do and she's super hot and going super fast. You wanna be doing it in shops, in cafes, like I always encourage guys to do, train stations, a mall if there's one nearby, a shopping center, and using direct, sure, but doing it softly, doing it situational. This is the indirect direct kind of game that I talk about in Badass Buddha, where you're not indirect, so you're not saying where's Starbucks? And you're not super direct saying, wow, hey, you're amazing. You're kind of indirect direct. Like if she's got something in her shopping basket, you can open with a little comment about that, a cheeky little thing. And that's good because you're dipping your toe in the water. You're not burning that girl or that environment. You're just testing whether she's into it, whether there's a spark, whether there's attraction. And if not, you can kind of retreat. So I would do a lot of that. That's the kind of stuff I do in airports or in the metro or in train stations. And I tell guys that you need to do that as well. So to join social events, but also to do kind of indirect direct game. But the real solution, Tim, that, another daygamer once told me back in the day, it's to move to a big city like London or New York or to go on trips to bigger cities every couple of weekends where you just immerse yourself, you beast yourself. That sounds sadomasochistic. You beast for a couple of days, collect numbers, come back, do your long game texting and pinging and whatsapping and whatever, and then go back to that city. Because the only real way to learn daygame intensely is to have enough girls to do it. So you need a city with, you know, five, ten million people. Moscow, what's that? 13,000,000? In New York, you could do, like, 50 gills a day. It wouldn't matter. So that's why daygamers evolved in these bigger cities. Yeah? Anyway, hope that answers your question. I'm gonna whiz on to Daniel's question, and he says, if you couldn't or didn't want to do daygame anymore, what else would you do with your time? That's quite a cool question and something I guess I'll face when, either I'm too old to do daygame or I just lost all interest in it. Well, I'm now interested in business and I've set up my passive income. I'm interested in stuff like this, making podcasts. I've always been a teacher. I used to teach kids, but now my daygame coaching is teaching. So I'd do that. I'd write more. You know my flow mad passion for traveling and making short films and now vlogging. Any kind of creative media, I was always like that. Even as a kid, I was making, like, radio plays, pretending to be a radio station. And then when I got my first video camera or borrowed my first video camera, I was making little quirky films. So, yeah, anything where I can dabble creatively. Or I would be a pole dancer or a pimp. There you go, Daniel. Good question there. Alright. Narsej. Narsej k. Forgive me if I pronounce your name incorrectly. He says, how much passive income is enough per month based on your experience to live like a vagabond if you live very modestly, I. E. Basic hotels, supermarket food, cheap transportation? I know it depends where you are, but what is the overall average from to? That's another good question, which I go through in a lot of depth in my new video product called FlowMad because it's a classic digital nomad question. And you're right. It massively depends, Narasaj, where you live. So that's Asia, nice and cheap parts of Asia rather, Eastern Europe, and parts of South America. Yeah. We're not gonna be living cheap in London or New York or LA. Yeah. Or even Madrid or Paris. We're not gonna be living cheaply. And you've said basic hotel, but I always recommend apartments. If you're going long term, a hotel is gonna cost you a lot. Supermarket food, you're right. Cook the food yourself. And cheap transportation, you're right. Like budget airlines, budget trains and buses and walking. So you can just, right now, Google that information. So I use a website called numbeo.com. I've listed that below. And you can do a price comparison from your city to the city that you're thinking of. So let's say you're thinking of moving to Sofia in Bulgaria, you can do a price comparison between London and Sofia, and it will tell you everything from, like, the price of milk to a bus ticket to an apartment, whatever, Internet costs. But off the top of my head, last year and the year before when I was living completely nomadically in apartments and, actually not cooking food, I was eating out because in Eastern Europe, it's so cheap to eat out. So last year, let's say in Bulgaria, I was spending about £30 a day on an apartment, which was a really nice city center apartment. I could have got one cheaper. Let's say, £20 eating out per day and little fiddly costs. So that's £50 a day. That means, if I can do my math, about 1,500 a month, which means that's, I think, about £18,000 a year. And So that would be a good target for passive income, 18 to £20,000 a year. You could do it a lot cheaper if you were in Asia or parts of South America or other Eastern European places. The longer you stay, the cheaper your apartment is. If you wanna live really frugally, it's gonna it's gonna save you money. If if you're not gonna eat out, that's gonna save you money. So you could probably do it for about 15 to $17 a year. But as you see, it's not what people think. You know, people are imagining that if you need the life if you want the lifestyle that I'm kind of doing, you need $30.40, $50. But that £18,000 is a lot less than I would spend if I lived all the time in London or when I used to have a a place in London. You know, think of the price of coffee or a tube ticket in London or New York or a meal out or rent in a city center apartment. It is just crazy in North America, Australia, and Western Europe. But use that website and figure out, specifics because that's a very broad question. Alright. Paul Anthony says, how do you set up your relationship as not to fall into a monogamous one by default? So at what point do you frame the relationship or talk to the girl about it that you want an open relationship? I before, after sex, or never. Well, that is a really interesting question, Paul, because we need to get some things right. That question's come from a kind of a a misunderstood place, and I've heard that question before. But if you're asking that question or you've had to have that conversation or you're thinking about having that conversation with a girl, then you've not done it right. Something along the lines has gone wrong. Because daygame inherently, by its very nature, it is or it should be playerish. You should be the lover. It should be sexual. It should be fast. She should know from the moment you jump in front of her with your sparkly eyes and your cheeky grin that you're a bad boy, a nice bad boy, and your fast dating and fast escalating and leading shows her that you don't wanna court her, that you're not sickeningly romantic or needy. You're not promising her things. You're not buying her things. You're not introducing her to your family. Because if she thinks she's your girlfriend, which can happen even in, you know, the day game scenario, you've not been clear somewhere along the way. And I don't mean verbally clear. Everything should give off this vibe. So it should be subcommunicated on the street, in your text messages, on the dates, in your fashion, in your voice. The old school kind of daygame where you just chat a lot and you go on five or six dates. Yeah. That sets up a relationship frame. But here's a trick, Paul. If a girl does start thinking she's your girlfriend, even after two or three dates or two or three times of having sex with her, you need to give her the talk. And there's lots of different versions of this in the pickup community, but it basically goes like this. You just say to her, look, Sarah, I really enjoy hanging out with you. You're beautiful. You're clever. You're funny. And in the future, I can definitely see myself settling down or dating somebody like you. But right now, I'm not in that kind of headspace. I'm enjoying being single and traveling and being free. But I think you're a really cool girl, and I definitely like to see you once or twice a week because it would be a shame not to to hang out and spend time with you. What do you think? Alright. So guys go, well, don't wanna do that just in case, it sounds like I'm gonna lose her because, I mean, what girl would be happy with that? But you'll be surprised. A large number of girls, especially in big cities like London and New York, are very happy with that because they're looking for the same. They don't wanna be monogamous or polygamous. They want something in the middle. They want a kind of a fluid open relationship. And neither of you have to rub each other's noses in it. It's just an unsaid thing. Okay? But if you need to clarify it with her, give her the talk. But, really, it comes back to how you're doing daygame, Paul, and whether you're the lover or the provider. Check out my, I think it's a talk or a podcast on this YouTube channel. Alright, mate? Next question is from Robert Vogel, and he asks two questions. And he says, number one, as we know, almost every hot girl has some guy in the background who like to hook up with her or some guys rather. I feel a lot of the time that the girl has the power to choose on demand and value because everybody wants it. How do you demonstrate high standards and separate yourself from them? Well, that's a bit like, a previous question from Paul about the monogamy, polygamy thing, Robert, in that even in the question, and I'm guilty of this myself. Every PUA guy is guilty of it. I can feel a bit of resentment in that you're saying, you know, the girl has the power to choose on demand, I e, that that's not fair, that girls are evil and horrible and why is it like that? Why is the world like that? It's not fair. You'll hear that a lot or you'll read that a lot rather on forums where it even becomes darkly misogynistic where guys are just like, well, fuck all girls. I don't wanna do all the work. I just wish girls would come to me. But just, you know, accept it for what it is. Don't blame the girls for this. It's how biology works that the the male approaches and tries to mate with the female. Men have it easy for other reasons in terms of once we've had sex with the girl, in terms of our freedom to move on to another girl and not stick around and not have to bear young and raise kids and that our value goes on for much longer, blah, blah, But anyway, we can look at that question and answer it a little bit in that you're right. It is based on supply and demand. Yes? So our super hot girl, just imagine this thought experiment. Imagine you were a hot 18 year old girl who was doing online dating and you had Tinder and you were going to clubs and you were walking down a high street. Yeah. You're just swamped with guys propositioning you in some form. Most of those propositions would be creepy and needy or just from low value guys, but you would have options because everybody wants it. It's supply and demand, yeah? So you're right. And you're also right in the fact that high value girls sleep with high value guys. So the answer is in the question really, in that you need to be the highest value possible. And if you're not sure about male value or sexual market value, listen to my talk on this channel, with Krauser about sexual market value and the different areas for men and how to raise each one of those areas. But the good news is, Robert, that just by cold approaching, I. E. Doing daygame, you're delivering your value, which 99% of other guys don't because they don't go up to the girl. They just wait for the girl to come to them. So you can win just by delivering the value that you already have here, by showing her that you're socially intelligent, that you're calibrated, that you're non needy, that you're sexually direct, that you're fun, that you're discreet. You'll immediately stand out because this is so rare for a girl, however hot she is. She's swamped by kind of low SMV guys, sexual market value guys. She's swamped by neediness and creepiness and indirectness, but she's not swamped by calibrated, cool, masculine, non needy guys. So just by getting your day game sorted, you will stand out and separate yourself. His second question says, how do you run your text game with girls you've only seen once and nothing happened? Now, I'm there's two ways of reading that question. Either you mean I daygamed her, I texted her, and nothing happened, which is quite common. For guys, you know, some girls just text you once and then disappear, or they don't reply at all to your first message. In that case, I wait forty eight hours, and then I text her, we are getting divorced, cheeky face, or have you been kidnapped, cheeky face. So I give it one more try if she was hot. If she doesn't reply, delete her number. If you mean that you went on an eye date or a date and then nothing happened, well, it's your job to keep pinging her. If you don't know what that is, watch Badass Buddha or read my book where you're just sending flirty, light, fun messages, non needy. And then when she's on the reel, when you feel like it's all good, you can rather, when she's on the hook, you can reel her in and invite her out. So that's date request, and try and get her out. If she's playing games, if she's very flaky, you might just wanna delete her and move on because that's plate spinning. That's abundance. That's the beauty of daygame. Yeah? Right. We've got more questions, but I'm just gonna keep going actually because these guys have taken the time to ask a question. So let's just do it. Derek says, I'm a very relaxed daygamer. I don't get too excited or smile a lot or, you know, telling jokes. So is there a limit to how relaxed you can be without hurting results? That's a good question, Derek. Because being relaxed, of course, is very good because you're present, you're in the moment, it shows that you're a cool, calm guy and that's very nice for the girl because usually the guy's full of adrenaline and he's very nervous and he's talking quickly quickly and fidgeting and his voice is going up and he's not listening to what she says. So you're very relaxed and that's cool. And it's a kind of a reaction against that old pickup style where it's dancing monkey, mister entertainer, telling jokes like in a nightclub. But from your question, I'm guessing just based on all the students I've taught that you're too relaxed or you're too bland, you're too serious, you're too chatty, you're too low energy in the day, which I'm only guessing, but ninety five percent of students suffer from this, it means you're not or they're not or guys are not flirting enough. So you're missing out the important attraction bit of the first two minutes or at least sixty seconds where you're keeping it light and fun and you're smiling and she's giggling with teasing and challenging and sexual spikes and role play. You gotta do that because if you just start in comfort, mate, it's quicksand. And you might even get the number, but it's gonna flake. Okay? So you can't be completely poker faced. Even daygamers that look kind of poker faced, if you look under the bonnet, then they're building attraction by challenging or using subcommunication or using their flirtatious eyes or grinning. Okay? After the hook point, like I always teach students, sure, you can chill the fuck out. You need to do a little bit of spiking, but you can chill out and get her to invest and do as much poker face stuff as you want. Alright? But don't ignore flirtation. Learn how to attract. Okay? Learn how to spike. Really, really important. First, learn it verbally, then learn it nonverbally and physically. Alright. Tom has another question. Good name, Tom. He says, back in the day when you started getting results from indirect approaches, how did you segue into showing your intent without coming across as creepy or too serious and logical like you were confessing a hidden agenda. Should the intent just arise organically from the conversation, or does it have to be a moment where you push yourself to escalate? Very good question. And if you've read my first book, daygame, you'll know that for six months, I did indirect game in Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery, and it works. You're right. So you can go up to a girl and say, I used to say, sorry, do you have a tube map? This was before smartphones. And then you have a bladdie blah conversation. And then, yes, there is a moment which is called the transition where you have to drop on her a statement of intent. In the PUA world, that's called an SOI, a bit like in the army, statement of intent. So it's a very conscious moment when you say something like, wow. Your accent's very sexy. Or the real reason I asked you for a tube map is because I secretly thought you were cute. Yeah. It's a leap of faith moment. And the only time I do indirect now is if I'm on an airplane or a bus or a really crowded space where I'm gonna be with her for ages. But to be honest, Tom, my advice to everyone now is to learn direct first because it just makes you more of a man. It makes you face those fears. And then just use indirect for these kind of situations where it would be too heavy to go direct. But yes, learn statements of intent. I talk about that more in Badass Buddha as well. Right. Callum says, what does Callum say? What are your views on Tinder? Well, surprise, surprise, I don't use it. I don't use online dating. I think it's probably a big waste of time certainly in big western cities because you wanna be the buyer, yeah, not the seller. You wanna be the hammer, not the nail. You wanna be the chooser rather than the chosen. And, essentially, in things like Tinder and online where it's about supply and demand, the girl is the chooser. The girl can choose from lots of options. So it's a I guess, it's a massive numbers game. Not to say it doesn't work. Of course, it works. And guys are getting laid from it. Guys have mastered the technique of it, and they've mastered the art of online game. But you need high volume. I think you need to be doing it a lot. You need to stand out from all the bland boring ones. I'm not the best person to ask, but, no. I can only talk about daygame, I'm afraid, Callum. But good luck to you if you're doing it. I imagine abroad it might work where you stand out, but let me know anyway. Right. We're gonna finish with Alex. Alex, the master bro, and he's a very loyal YouTube follower. So cheers, Alex, for the support over the years. And he's got three questions. So three is the magic number. As my grandmother used to say, here we go. Number one, should I approach a girl that gave me a, quote, unquote, negative look before the approach? I did this before, and some turned out to be actually easy to talk to in number close. Well, Alex, again, you've answered your question in the question and that you said I did it before and soon that some turned out to be easy. You're right. We're all guilty of it. Students every week on boot camp or during coaching always say she looks bitchy or she looks busy or she looks like she's gonna be totally evil. And then when they go and do it, often they're wrong and she's really nice, whereas the nice sweet looking girls turn out to be horrible. So, yeah, never listen to your prediction. Go and find out and still approach. Your second question is that you say, I'm 19 now, and sometimes girls that I approach turn out to be 15 or 16. Easy, mate. Remember the legal age. I think in The UK, it's 16, isn't it? You might be in The Netherlands or something, or I think it's Denmark, isn't it, where it's 15? I don't know, but just be careful, mate. Anyway, he says, some of them refuse sex even after the third date for they think they are too young for that. Should I let such a girl go or even go beyond the third date? Right. Well, let's say she's 16, 17, 18, or 19. Good on you again for daygaming at such a young age and getting all this sorted. And, yes, three dates plus is a lot and you the red flag should be flying. Alright? So that suggests perhaps you're not showing your intent. You're not being direct. You're not leading. You're not escalating. And, yeah, understand she might be inexperienced, so, you know, you have to show her the way. And if she's a virgin, you'll have to teach her and take it slow and play around a little bit. But by the third date, it should be pretty intimate. So if it's going on four, five, six dates, yeah, I'd cut it. And daygame just gives you that abundance. Yeah? But make sure you're letting her know what you want in leading. Alright? Watch my video on what to do on a date to get that sorted. And the last question is you say, I know that you always preach that no money game should be involved in seduction. However, if I am pretty rich, is it okay to let the girl know after a few dates that you have a shitload of money, or should I hide it? Well, good on you, Alex. If you have shitloads of money and you're 19, again, that's fucking awesome. But, yes, you should hide it until after you've slept with her once or, I would say, quite a few times. Okay? Because the guys the super rich guys that I've taught, they always have this problem of attracting girls who want their money, surprise, surprise, especially if they have a flash car or a flash watch or a flash suit or they talk about their money a lot. So they've learned to hide it, and that's why they're learning daygame because they wanna meet women just on the street. They want the woman to like them for them. And then sure, after they've slept with them, dated them for a while, slowly he might introduce her to his world. But if you start with money, then surprise, surprise, you're attracting a certain type of girl. They're gonna be princesses, gold diggers, whatever. And you can't blame them because that's the game that you're playing. Yeah? So, Alex, if you've got shitloads of money, just dress quite normally. Don't brag about your money. Take her to normal date venues. Make sure she likes you for you, and then after you've done bish bash bosh, you can let her into your luxurious world, you lucky bastard. There we go. That was a lot longer than half an hour, but those were the questions I had in the mailbag for this podcast. I hope some of that was helpful. Let me know if you've got other questions. You can do it by email, tom@tomtorero.com, or you can leave your questions, probably easier, underneath this YouTube video. And then in the future, can do another q and a podcast. Just to finish, two announcements about upcoming boot camps. There is one place left in London on the seventh and the March 8 on that boot camp, which I'm teaching. So email me if you want that place. And there's two places left on the twenty eighth and March 29, again, here in London with me teaching. Email me to find out more or put a deposit down, whatever. That was podcast 14 from London. The next one might be from Wales or back in The Czech Republic. I'm not sure. But for now, keep smiling, happy daygame, see you soon.