---
title: Episode 146 Sustainable Daygame
episode_number: 146
era: late
source_file: Episode 146 Sustainable Daygame.mp3
audio_size_mb: 56.6
duration_sec: 1854.9
duration_min: 30.9
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:01:54Z---

# Episode 146 Sustainable Daygame

**Speaker 0:** Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Tom Torero podcast a 146. We begin with the sound of a whistling kettle as I have a cup of tea. I'm back in the van. I'm in the icy cold Baltics. And as the wind whips and whistles outside, we've got a nice cozy cup of tea in here. And, yes, it's still bloody cold. I was about a month earlier, I would say, for this adventure. I should have started in April, but it's been a very good introduction. Right now outside, it's just above freezing. And this week coming, it's set to get down again to minus eight degrees centigrade in the night. So it's winter in the van still, praying for spring, not just for the short skirts and long legs and being able to see girls once again when they're no longer dressed like Eskimos, but just for the van, just for practicalities. You know, I've had problems with the water tanks under the van. Can't use them. Well, I could, but I'm risking a few things. So relying on bottled water, just waking up bloody cold in the night, you know. Once again, van life is not what you see or not just what you see on Instagram. If you've ever spent time in a van, you'll know that you pee in a bottle and you wake up, as I said, icy cold and vanning in a city is interesting because it's very stealth. So you gotta be extra careful with your comings and goings, and also for seduction. You shall see all of that on episode two of the black sheep bandit, which has mostly been edited. I shall release that probably tomorrow. That's the trip from The UK in the snowstorm to Poland. And then episode three, I'll give you a van tour, I think, and I'll talk about my time here in the Baltics. I put a little clip up of me and a bird keeping me warm in Lithuania. That's also on my YouTube channel. Just a technical note, if you're looking at my web site today or you visited it yesterday evening, which was Sunday evening, you might have noticed some weird shit going on. It hasn't been hacked. It's just we're changing server. Okay? We're we're diving deep into the back end and probing. Let's say, know nothing about this coding techy stuff, but there's two guys doing it for me, doing a cracking job. But in the interim, a few things look a bit weird. They might function a bit weird. Maybe that's just your cash. Is that what it's called? You might need to refresh that. And if you're trying to fill in the, Black Sheep Bandit award form, I was told today there's been a problem. So just email me directly, tom@tomtorero.com, with your name, your age, your daygame experience, and why you want the money. I'll get that form sorted. I promise. Right. Tip of the week. Let's insert the tip of the week consensually. As ever practical, no mental masturbation woo woo bullshit. Something you can try today, unless it's late at night. Or you could do a little bit of gut game. Go outside and try this. So you do your set. You do the stacking and the vibe and you get the hook point. You bed it down. She invests. You ground the set. And then at some point, I'll look at her hand. I'll take her hand, you know, the, married on a move or I'll notice a ring or I'll just hold her hand when I say, my name is Tom. I never got your name. And then I'll flip her hand over to look at her rings and, you know, look at if there's any marks where she's perhaps taken off some rings. And I'll say the magic Torero line. How many husbands do you have? Note the plural, husbands. It's a joke. You say it with this cheeky smirk and they always laugh. And what that is is a probing question. Am I five, am I six? Like, because she might say she's married, which for me is a whoopi do, raise the chances of getting laid. She might say she's she she'll laugh if she's young and say, oh, no. I'm far too young. And you'll say, yeah. Yeah. You're a baby, you know. You're not in an arranged marriage. You're not a child bride. Good God. No. You're you're too young to get married. She might say she's engaged. Then you go, okay. Chance is tough. Although it's possible. And she might say, no. She's got a boyfriend and then, you know, it's the same old. Well, I don't wanna be a boyfriend. It just tells you where you're at. Now, I know you shouldn't be raising the boyfriend thing with her, but I just like that bit of knowledge. And it's a bit of kino, it's a bit of touch. It's a joke. How many husbands do you have? I often role play that on the date as well. You know, she'll say, how many wives you have? And I'll say, four. I'm looking for number five. You can be the fifth one or I can call you wife number one. Or actually, no, wife number two. You've got to earn the number one spot. Okay? Or I'll say I've got five wives Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I take the weekend off to replenish, look after this godlike body. You know, it's hard to be beautiful. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I say, why god, did you make me so perfect? All those are Torero lines. Right? Write them down. Use them. Adapt them. You hear me doing them live in that previous podcast with the French girl who was stood up, and it's a half an hour podcast of me raising her buying temperature temperature using using shit shit like like that. That. But it's routines. Yes, it is. But I want to be natural. Well, good luck. But routines work. Alright. That's why stand up comedians have a routine that they hone and they take on tour. Alright. Enough nagging. Gosh, five minutes in already. Let us begin by talking today about sustainable daygame. Now, I don't mean eco vegan soy daygame saving the rainforest. I mean, keeping going. Because I'm coming up, coming, coming hard towards ten years of being of being on the street like Oliver Twist, my tenth year daygame anniversary cold approaching. I knew about daygame before. I dabbled in it, if you've read my first book, with some indirect stuff and some hostel stuff. But actually saying, right, tonight after work, I'm going out and doing daygame, and I had that one number a day mission for the first year or two. And guys go, yeah, but it's okay for you. I've got a job. I had a job my friends for the first a 100 lays that are in the first book daygame. That's when I had a job. It wasn't just nine to five. It was 7AM till about, yeah, five, 05:30, six sometimes then I'd get the train into London and I'd do my approaches. So I've been doing that for almost ten years with no real long breaks. Right? I haven't had a monogamous girlfriend. Taken a year off. I haven't taken half a year off. I've taken weeks and a month or two maximum per year off. More and more, the more I've done it. But it's a very common question I get in seminars. A guy will put up his hand and say, how do you keep going? How do you stay motivated? And for me, it's always a bizarre question. It I I don't quite understand how you could not enjoy beautiful women because that's what this podcast is about and this channel is about and my blog is about. It's not about life coaching. It's not about earning money or getting in shape or la di da di da. All those things might happen because of game, but game is talking to hot birds, sleeping, having sex with, enjoying time afterwards with hot girls. I love girls, right? Not in that Disney way, but I've said before, you've gotta love them. You've gotta love looking at them, being in the company of them, talking to them, kissing them, their hair, their smell, their walk, their female energy, the the sheer beauty of the female form. Now, other guys have different hobbies, World of Warcraft or collecting stamps or writing down train numbers. And for me, it's beautiful women across the world and I don't see how that gets old. And I remember asking my grandfather, did he stop at some point thinking about women and looking at women? And he said, no. And I know my dad in in his older age, yeah, he was still loving looking at women, flirting with women, flirting with everyone. That's a good philosophy of life, but certainly, no, appreciating the the female form. So I simply don't believe guys that are 40 or 50 and say, I no longer look at girls, that's so cheap. I'm not interested in that kind of thing. I'm interested in gardening. Bullshit. I say bullshit. So that's that's the central tenant of this. How do you keep going? Well, you keep your love of of the female energy and female beauty. Alright. But let's get more specific because that's useless. If you're two years into daygame or four years into daygame and you're flagging, you're sagging in all the wrong places, everything's going south, literally and metaphorically. You're thinking, how do I keep going? How does Tom Torero keep going? Because this is not just a hobby for the past, what, now five years, maybe longer. It's been my full time job. So I do day game, I talk about day game, I teach day game, not day game. I write about day game, my video day game and I keep going. And I've said I'm not getting married, I'm not stopping, and nothing's gonna change until I'm about 50 then content might change. I'll still be flirting. I'm not slowing down this year. It's it's getting more and more crazy. Right? So yeah, I've made videos on that and 50 being the age when I'm gonna evaluate should I be teaching daygame. But I'm gonna keep doing it. So what's the secret? The secret sauce. Well, let's begin with a quote from a guy who liked huts and the wilderness. I'm not sure about his lay count and his search for pussy and for sleeping with girls in that hut that you might know from Walden, it's Henry David Thorero. And he said, many men go fishing all their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after. So I've said previously, daygame is the carrot on the stick. Daygame is the Trojan horse. The girl is your mirror. All these things I'm known for saying. But stop and think about that. Why you do daygame? Why you go out? Why you enjoy dating, why you enjoy flirting. Many men go fishing all their lives but without knowing it's not the fish they are after. So people say, well, Tom, you sound you've got a sex addiction. You know, even members of my family have said, we're worried, Tom, because you seem to have a sex addiction. Well, as I've said in other podcasts, does sex addiction exist like narcotics, etcetera? But b, if I was so interested in sex, why would I turn it down? Now I don't mean I'm Robbie Williams and I turned down girls banging on the van. But when I've slept with girls, girls have been in my life, girls are in different cities, they want to see me again. And often, I've slept with a girl a few times and she'll wanna come around, she'll wanna come over, she'll, you know, do the booty call, but I've already got the notch. I've already slept with her. I've already enjoyed that experience. And I'm moving on and I often say no. Or there's times during the week with regulars and I say no. But what I don't turn down is the thrill of the chase, the hunt, the fishing expedition. This is what I really love, the process. Right? The ritual. Just like making a cup of tea or going fishing. Often you don't drink the tea, do you? I'm talking to the British audience here. You boil the kettle, you get your mug, you get you get your tea bag, you get the sugar. If if that's one of your vices, you get the milk, you wait, you pour, you stir, you get rid of the tea bag. A teapot is even better, you know. Or if you're in Japan, you'll know what I'm talking about. And then you might take a few sips and forget about the cup of tea. The same with the with fishing even though I'm not a fisherman. So many parallels between fishing and day game. I'll make a video on this in the future with mister a, Alex in Poland. We're gonna go on a fishing trip, not for day game, but to actually catch fish. He's gonna teach me how to fish. And we often talk, Alex and I, about so many parallels. You know, the different types of fishing, the bait, the hook, the reel, the release, the the tension on the line, the fishing spots, and just the fishing trip. Thinking about the fishing trip, getting ready, choosing the equipment, but not being one of these, you know, all the gear, no idea type of fishermen or daygamers where you buy all the books and don't go fishing. That's what I'm saying. You go there and then you just enjoy sitting by the riverbank, casting your line or your lines because you got options, choosing the different bait, the water conditions, camping out under the stars. And oftentimes, don't get the fish. But even if you do, it's that whole process. Yeah? So that's what keeps me going. Certainly, I love turning up in a new city. I love getting out of the house, going for a walk, all these things we'll talk about. It's making it a habit. Alright? Not just watching a motivational video, going to a seminar, saying, yeah, I'm gonna do daygame. And you do it for a couple of days and then you give up. Well, that's the essential problem with boot camps because instructors will pump your state, which is a good thing, gets you over approach anxiety. You'll be surrounded by other people doing it, so you'll do it. And then come Monday morning, you'll stop because the anxiety is back. The adrenaline has left your body and maybe, given you a downer, you know, like after something really exciting, you you have a low. After the Christmas gift is opened, you have a low. Certainly after the wedding ceremony, you have a low. So you gotta make it a routine. Right? And I often say on Skype calls, how do you make daygame a routine? You embed it well. It's gonna take at least thirty days, probably sixty days. So it's a couple of months. It's keeping records. It's being accountable. So have a locked blog or a diary. Wing. It's putting down money if you've got anxiety, so you give your wing 50 pounds. And every approach, it gives you five pounds. If you don't do an approach, you do press ups, etcetera etcetera. Accountability. And once it's become a habit, then you'll you'll you'll you'll continue doing it because this is the important thing, you've seen the rewards. You've got that dopamine serotonin hit, you know, rat in the tunnel with piece of chocolate or the dog, the Pavlovian response. So some daygamers daygamers, gosh, there's a lot of gay gamers in this podcast. Some daygamers I know do their 10 sets. Remember, Tom says 10 sets two hours, go home, three times a week or five times a week if you wanna immerse yourself. He does his 10 sets and then he has a piece of cheesecake or he has a cookie or I used to say, okay, I can't have a cup cup of coffee until I get on an instant date. Or I used to say for those one or two years after work, I can't go home until I've got one contact detail. Not a force number, a real number, you know. So that's your reward. And identify the cues as they say in habit forming. So, you know, what time of the day is best for you for day game? It's probably not just after you've jacked off. You need to feel horny. You need to feel a bit of energy inside you, you're gonna stretch your legs, that longing for adventure. You work it out three times a week, four times a week, whatever. You make it a habit. Okay. You've got the habit and for the first year or two, you shouldn't even be thinking about burnout or giving up or overload or worrying about all this stuff. Okay? Because it's a joy. It's a blissful state. You're running around. You're a kid in a sweet shop or a bull in a China shop. And everything's new, everything's fun, everything's exciting and that's really one of the best times and I'm glad I captured that in my first book, daygame. And then you're thinking, okay, I've done it. I've dated the girls I want. I've slept with the girls I I want mostly. I've maybe visited the places I wanna visit. What keeps you going? How can you keep going into year three, into year five, into year 10? Well, first of all, as I've said, you gotta love it. And a bit of time away stepping back, you know, allowing the field to be fallow, having a month off. I usually have one in summer and winter recently with my dodgy eye and my dodgy leg and getting the van ready. I had a bit of time off European daygame. And when I got into Poland and I did my first couple of approaches, it was just like, not as an orgasm, but maybe a mind gasm. And that, yeah, it was cold outside, but it was just bliss. A, walking, because I've been walking now for ten years. A day game session is about 10 kilometers if you do it properly. Just the bliss of walking around an old cobbled city, being outside, getting that endorphin serotonin high from approaching, blasting through, yeah, that little bit of rustiness. You know, I wasn't match ready, as they say. So getting that motor mouth going, the million dollar mouthpiece, verbal diarrhea, getting that back, just human interactions. Because isolated. I'm not saying be a monk. I'm not saying go your own way in a van. No. The point in the van is to come and come and come. Come inside cities, talk to people, talk to girls, and walk. People say, well, isn't a van a very small space to live in? Well, you say, not really, mate. I live in the whole city. I live in the whole country. And a hippie would say, I live in the whole world, man. You know what I mean? The van is just for sleeping and a bit of cooking and a bit of shagging. But when I open my door, it forces you to be outside. So you're out more than if you have an apartment. Right? Your apartment is your enemy. Tattoo that onto your arm. Your apartment is your enemy. And loving daygame. So daygame has given me peak experiences quite literally, if you know that the science behind that and you can attribute it to Jesus or Allah or whatever Buddha or whatever you want or you can attribute it to biochemistry. It doesn't matter. But the physiological factors that through doing daygame and getting into flow states, remember my talk at the twenty one convention on Michael Csikszentmihaly's flow. That was many years ago why daygame gives you flow. You get peak experiences, and I've had mind blowing experiences even here in this new city. I rocked up first day very cold, no leads, not even long game leads. And thinking, well, what am I gonna do tonight, you know? Don't know anyone here. Can't just sit in the van. And I did my approaches. One of the approaches was a Russian girl. Sent her the initial message thinking, no, no, She might flake or she this might take some time. And she responded back quickly that evening. First evening, we went out. It was beautiful. I didn't get the lay. It's gonna need a few more dates, hopefully. But, it was just nice. Old town, bars, being with someone, sharing their company, drinking local beers. Yeah. So stuff like that is a joy. Yeah. It's an absolute absolute joy. Joy. How else to keep going? I've hinted at this. The joy of improvisation. So flexing not only your leg muscles as you walk around, but flexing your mental muscles. And daygame, as I say to many Skype clients, is what? Daygame really is the vibing section of the model. Opening's easy. Stacking's easy. You could teach a monkey to say those lines. But the vibing when you get the topic, it's like an improv speaker or a comedian dealing with hecklers or you having to synthesize your thoughts into a book or whatever. She gives you the topic and you improvise. Now, if you're a beginner, don't. Have set stories, listen to daygame dynamo stacking, daygame dynamo vibing. They're free on YouTube. But for an intermediate advanced guy, this is the bit I enjoy. Yeah? And being here and just being out for a few days and doing it, I'm like, oh, this is so good. Not only am I not alone, but I'm, forcing my brain into magical realms, you know, weird and wonderful, magical realism. It's surreal. It's fun. It's flirty. I'm not using the logical side of my brain as I do when I'm driving and thinking about van electrics and plumbing and money and tax and all that. When you talk to girls, it's it's sparking up the other side of your brain, which I get also from video editing and playing music. It's the joy of creativity. Yep. Again, key part of flow state. Snowboarders get it. After you get over the technical aspects of snowboarding, you start to freestyle. You go off piste and it's fucking beautiful. Okay? But what's the problem with flow state? Read the book. You need to increase the challenge level and you need to constantly increase, therefore, the skill level to hit that mythical place. Well, it's not mythical. It's the a real place of of mental flow. I've said about the ritual. Right? So the ritual is a beautiful thing. The ritual of daygame, it's a mindful meditation. I'm not into mindfulness. I'm not into inner game per se. But daygame is that for me. I've said in a video called daygame is therapy. It is the the behavioral part of cognitive behavioral therapy, And that you're going outside, you're present, you're in flow, it's a walking meditation. Sounds a little weird and hippie. Yeah? But it's true. If you're day gay gay gamer, you'll know what I'm talking about. And you don't get that from swiping on Tinder. You don't get that from being drunk in a club or maybe night gamers do. You don't get that from, you know, an easy yes girl in social circle. You get that from the lion hunting the gazelle. It's very primal. It's a beautiful thing. What else is beautiful? Well, the places you do it in. A guy goes, I'm bored of daygame. So I say, well, go to another city in your country. Yeah. I've done that. I've done all the Euro cities. Okay. Well well, stop copying other daygamers and try some other cities. Okay. Because the beginner needs that 1,000,000 volume, but you can get away with 700,000, maybe 500,000. I'm pushing it now and trying, you know, 200,000 just to be in these small cities. It makes parking the van a lot easier. They're less touched by the stag doos and the tourists. And they're new for me because I've been going to Prague and Munich and Vienna and Barcelona for years. Okay? I've done it. New York and London and LA and Tokyo and Cape Town. There's a lot more of the world to explore. So freshen things up and see some beautiful cities. And as you're walking around doing your daygame, you're surrounded by beauty. You don't need to be in an ugly city if that's what you're used to or if that's where you live. You meet guys. Guys. Now Now I I say say daygame daygame is a solo sport. It is if you're good. But obviously, then you're meeting at the daygame as most guys I know now. The friendships I have are largely based on game. And if it wasn't for game, I would never have met these guys because they have different backgrounds, different ages, different different jobs, they're in different cities. But you have a beer, you compare notes, you talk, you meet people who listen to this podcast or watch the videos. It's very, very nice. And so you're rarely alone. Guys have been coming up to me all the time, even when I'm around the van and going, oh my god, is this the van? Please don't knock on the van. But, I appreciate you saying hello and saying that you listen to the show and that you watch the videos. It's all very good. So that makes daygamers sustainable. And lastly, it keeps you in the world, in the real world. Okay? Because you're not on a computer. You're not, hopefully, a keyboard pickup artist just thinking about seduction. But you're out there. I've said the girl is your mirror, so you you're continually, if you're cold approaching, getting feedback. Good and bad. So if it's all good, okay. Well done. SMV on point. But if you're getting loads of blowouts or weird looks, you know, check your fashion, check your grooming, check your smile. What about your voice? A married guy or a guy in a relationship, he's like, well, just let it all go. You know, get fat, get lazy. His girlfriend or wife, she's not really giving him feedback. She's bored. Okay? But the guy who's called approach and the guy who's single, the black sheep bandit has to accept this feedback from reality. It's reality. You might not like it, but it's feedback. So you you say, okay, I need to bloody hell. I need to have a shave or, oh, my voice is getting a bit quick and high. Or, oh, I got all these nose hairs. Let's pull them out. Ear hairs. Gentlemen, that's a subtle subtle reminder. Okay? I teach too many students with nose hair and ear hair. Rip those motherfuckers out. Okay? If you've got spots, get it sorted. Ask for Roaccutane. Go and see a dermatologist. If you've got glasses, glasses, take them off for day game because you're being stereotyped. Put in contacts or just go blind for the approach. Okay? Sort your hair out. If you're going bald, shave it off. Right? You know, Bruce Willis style, etcetera etcetera. I've made a video on fashion. Nice bad boy fashion, I think it's called. The basics. Get them sorted. Record yourself. I say that to every Skype client with your iPhone or a dictaphone like I record all these podcasts on a very cheap dictaphone from Walmart. Listen to your voice. Listen to the pitch of your voice, the speed of your voice, the timbre of your voice. Okay? There we go. How are we doing? We got a few more minutes. So, yeah, I've got some practical tips, not just tits. Stop thinking about that, but practical Torero tips. So how else can you keep it fresh and sustainable? Well, you could start teaching it. Right? I used to teach for free and then for 10 pounds and then for 50 pounds and then doing boot camps, whatever. Not because, you think you're gonna become rich and famous from daygame. Listen to podcast number two, how to become a daygame coach. But, by teaching it, it raises your game, pushes you. You have to demo. That's all good. Get creative. So I said if you're getting bored with daygame, then don't be a one trick pony. Mix it up. Change location. Do Hot Girls. Find your own style and voice. Don't copy Tom Torero all the time. Yep. Sort out your affection needs. Listen to that podcast, affection addiction. Addiction. Okay? So I'm not saying monogamy, but I have mini relationships, open relationships with girls. That's, again, part of the van thing. So that gives you the affection you need because because players like that. And the last thing I'm gonna say is be careful of wings. Alright. There's good wings and there's bad wings. I'm not talking about wings from Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm talking about the person who does daygame with you. Essentially, it comes down to is it win win? And I've had many great wings, which I keep around, and I've had many bad wings. Okay? Where it's a win lose situation. So they're sucking not sucking you off, but they're sucking you dry with with their moaning, or they're taking your IOIs, or they're bringing you down. They're just getting you in your head. Or it's lose lose where you end up hating each other. Okay? So ask around. Don't just say to a random guy, okay, we're gonna go on a day game trip. Now have a coffee, have a beer, do a bit of day game. Get a wing who's more experienced than you. Okay? Get a new wing who you can watch in field. You help bring his energy up. That's what you're giving. He gets to teach you, which is good. And you get to watch someone who's better. That will immediately push you. Even when I see good students, I say, fuck, man. You know, I'm lazy. I need to open a girl like that in that situation. Or wow, that was very interesting. Look at the speed of that or look at that date model. I'm constantly meeting guys who say, oh, I do this or I tried this. Even watching it, yeah, a student in set, You get, wow, that's really interesting. I've become so lethargic. I need to do that. So that's very good. And as I said, change location. That's an easy one. Even in the same city, find some daygame spots. Change the time of the day game. Have a period off, which I've spoken about before. But the final disclaimer of this podcast is that if you're a beginner, forget about burnout. Forget about worrying about can you keep going. Just go fucking crazy. Right? At least for two years, this should be an obsession. And I know self help people say balance. We need to balance our life. Health, wealth, and women. No. If you wanna be great at something, astounding at something, world best at something, you need to go crazy. And then after a while, you switch gears, you balance it out with getting a van or whatever you wanna do. But there we go. Here's to almost ten years of being in field. Here's to another ten years. Touch wood. I'm in a van lined with wood, so that's not difficult. And I'm getting a bit of wood. If that's not too erotic, it's time to go outside and stop listening to things about pickup and reading things about pickup and watching pickup and go and do some fucking pickup. Until next week. Goodbye.