---
title: Episode 17 Tom Becomes a Girl
episode_number: 17
era: early
source_file: Episode 17 Tom Becomes a Girl.mp3
audio_size_mb: 52.6
duration_sec: 1723.3
duration_min: 28.7
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:07:16Z---

# Episode 17 Tom Becomes a Girl

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero, podcast 17 from sunny CD Soho in London. My last day in London before I fly to Zagreb in Croatia for some sunny daygame shenanigans out there for a few days, which I'm really excited about. Zagreb being one of the world's best daygame destinations, certainly not the easiest, but the women are smoking, a bit like Belgrade in Serbia or Budapest in Hungary. I love that look, Mediterranean meets Russian. So you get those kind of catwalk y figures but with Mediterranean tans and a bit more fieriness, a bit more feistiness. So bring it on, I'll do some vlogs from there. Speaking of vlogs, if you haven't seen them already on this channel, if you're watching on YouTube, there are 30 short but sweet daily vlogs that I've just completed on the topic of the nice bad boy, which is the kind of hit the ground running version of the badass Buddha. So finding this sweet spot, getting out of the boyfriend box, the nice guy box, the plain grey beige office cubicle worker into something with a bit more edge. Getting that player side to come out of you, that more animalistic, faster, more sexual aspect of daygame, but not selling your soul. So finding that sweet spot of the nice bad boy, check it out. If you haven't seen that series, I'm proud of it. I'm happy to have finished because it's harder than it sounds daily vlogging, so respect to anyone that puts out daily YouTube vlogs. Because not only do you have to come up with the idea and then film the thing, you have to edit it And the hardest bit is actually finding good WiFi. Certainly if you're travelling to upload it, because even just a three, four minute video in high def takes a while, especially if you're in Egypt. So let's see what Croatian WiFi is like and what the girls are like. I'm very excited. Anyway, today's topic, Tom becomes a woman. That's right, you didn't read it wrong. And that would be a completely normal occurrence here in Soho, CD Soho. If you don't know Soho, if you're listening from abroad, Soho has always been kind of avant garde and out there since the late fifties, early sixties. It was where rock and roll developed in Britain. It's where the strip clubs are, it's where the gay area is, it's where the transgender community is and everything in between. So nothing shocks people in Soho, it's very burlesque, moulin rougesque and I love it because it's openly sexual, it's a good little thing to bring girls around Soho and see how they react. You get a good indication of how saucy they are, how on they are. And it's quite fitting for daygame really around here, so I like it. I'm not gonna be here for that long, I'm coming to the end of my SOHO adventures, but I've had a good time. And anyway, why are we talking about SOHO? Yes, because if I was to become a woman, which this podcast is all about in some way or another, what would it be like being a young, hot, super attractive 19, 20 or 21 year old girl, maybe in London or New York? What would that be like? And how is her sexual market value displayed? How does she have to maintain her sexual market value? How does she have to use it? What's the time limit for that sexual market value? And what other difficulties does a girl of that calibre have? Because we're all blokes, I suspect listening to this podcast, we know very well the difficulties of being a bloke in the sexual marketplace, finding the girl, having sex with lots of young, attractive girls, approaching girls, the problem of flakes, the problem of dates, the problem of escalation, the problem of not wanting serious things with girls, the problem with making the most of our image, and then all the other things. If you've listened to my sexual market value talk, you'll know about the hundreds of ways that guys can improve or ruin their market value, their sexual market value. I guess that's a disclaimer. You don't know what I'm talking about in terms of sexual market value, SMV, or the sexual marketplace, the SMP, go and listen to those talks I've done on this channel on these topics because they're fundamental. Anyway, today we're focusing on a woman's SMV. And the common moan you hear in this community, and from blokes in general, is that girls have it easy. All they need to do is show up and look hot, that's it. And you'll hear the guys saying, well, it's so easy for girls to get laid or it's so unfair, or girls get showered with dates and gifts and they can sleep with any guy they like and they can live off a guy's money and then they can take his money blah blah blah, I e, I hate women, it's not fair, life sucks, let's blame somebody else. Now, I'm not claiming to be on team woman, go feminism. I'm just saying stop and think about all these moans and criticisms that we're throwing at girls and let's look at a biological level at their sexual market value and how girls have to use that, a bit like advertising and marketing and sales, and then how can we use that to our benefit. Because that's what all this comes back to. This is not just mental masturbation, this is how, by understanding girls, can you improve your daygame and dating. That old saying, women dig power, men dig beauty, that's very true. A woman's sexual market value to a man between her mating ages of whatever, let's say, late teens, so 17, 18 to when she peaks in her sexual market value, which is early to mid 20s. And when that market value stabilizes and slightly decreases in her late 20s, and then into her early 30s, a woman in terms of mating and having babies really needs to start thinking about her options of a long term partner, a father of her children, the best DNA she can get, and that guy sticking around. She really needs to make urgent decisions because her biological clock is obviously ticking. So what's a guy looking for when you say men are attracted to beauty? Well, this is not just arbitrary and men say, well, different guys find different things beautiful. That's not actually true biologically. You can have a very specific list of things that males of the human species look for in females. And that firstly would be her waist to hip to bust ratio. So I know this argument that all girls say, well in the past, or in another country guys like bigger asses or bigger boobs or bigger this or bigger that or larger women. But actually if you just look at the ratio of waist to hip to bust across the centuries, even from Egyptians and Romans and Greeks. What's desirable has always been the same, that's the golden ratio. So women naturally, to be more attractive, emphasized this waist to hip to bust ratio using clever techniques and now a bit of Photoshop or corsets and clever design of clothes. So that's one thing that they've got in mind. The second thing would be being skinny obviously, but keeping their boobs in their ass. Because that shows guys that they're fertile, that they'd make a good mother. Super skinny girls, pencil thin, not many guys find attractive. So even though girls might be a catwalk model, they might have no boobs and no ass and therefore if you saw them on the street, you certainly wouldn't say, wow, Jesus, look at that. Hair is really important. Long hair, it's a health indicator. It's again, the color of the hair and the texture and the shine of the hair lets a male know that she's healthy and that she's of mating age. Longer hair certainly is a sign of youth. As women reach menopause, they cut it off. That's why we don't understand when women have short hair really. So good hair, that's important. Skin texture, skin color, the health of her skin is another health indicator, that kind of rosy cheek thing. It's just letting you know that she's young and fertile. You're spotting a trend here that guys are very visual in terms of selecting a mate, this is what we're looking for. He's looking for facial symmetry, which is a whole different topic in itself. Facial symmetry, both in females and males, interestingly shows a certain amount of testosterone. Why is testosterone important? It's because having a high amount of testosterone when you're younger is actually quite dangerous. Humans that can survive that early level of testosterone are fitter, survivor of the fittest. That means if they have children and pass on their DNA, that DNA is going to be fitter than the next person's. So facial symmetry. And now we're not often conscious that we're looking at these things, and neither is a girl conscious all the time that why she's doing certain things, dressing in a certain way, doing her hair in a certain way, doing her makeup in a certain way. It's hardwired. It's the natural instinct of fighting, foraging and fucking. These are deeply, deeply hardwired, so we don't often think consciously. Women are aware on a certain level, obviously, of how they're dressing, fashion trends, how they're representing themselves, what they can do to enhance their look. But often it's just going on in the background, all these decisions for men and women is part of the mating dance, is part of this SMV SMP game. Anyway, so you've got all of those factors in terms of beauty, what men are looking for in a girl naturally. But obviously in the last two hundred years, one hundred years, and certainly rapidly accelerated in the last decade or two, you've got ways of manipulating the image. In a magazine, can obviously use Photoshop. On Instagram, you can use filters on Facebook. You can represent yourself in a certain way. And this is why girls are so much better than guys at branding themselves. Because a girl knows on whatever level that her self image is hugely important, if not completely important for the survival and replication of her genes. She knows on whatever level that men are choosing her based on her looks. So it's in her interest to manipulate photos, to think about lighting, to buy one of those massive SLR cameras. That's why you see more girls with SLR cameras than guys. Why girls know more about filters and editing and different Photoshop programs. Why girls spend more time on profile pictures and on Instagram and dating website photos, etcetera. They've got a really good grasp of social media girls because it's in their interests. Sure it is for guys too. Think of The Only Way is Essex or boys in a South Wales nightclub. They're all into the gym, getting jacked, tattoos, fake tans and steroids. But globally, the trend is certainly more with girls grasping this technology and using it to their advantage a bit like you would with marketing or with sales. Girls are very aware of this sales funnel. Advertising themselves, branding themselves and editing. So first of all, don't judge that. It's very easy for guys to go, god, women are so shallow. Women are doing this to their image. Women are doing that. Women are wearing push up bras. Women are getting boob jobs. Women are getting nose jobs. I can't believe women are so shallow and so fake. It's in their interest. So if you were a girl in your early twenties, damn would you think about all this stuff, okay? So I find it funny when guys, even with girlfriends, guys moan about the lengths that girls go to to get ready. Oh, she's in the bloody bathroom all the time, she's doing her makeup all the time, all she does is go shopping and think about shopping and read fashion magazines and blogs. Well, if that was your SMV, then you too would take a lot of care and attention on this topic. It's what they live for and it explains why women go to tanning salons and nail salons and spend all this time and money and thought on how they look. And I'm actually doing it for you. So I say to guys with girlfriends, let her go shopping. Obviously not with your money, but don't go shopping with her, let her go shopping. Let her take ages in the bathroom. Let her dress up for you. Let her look good for you. Again, girls in Central To Eastern Europe, they really grasp this idea of looking good for a man. So they spend ages getting ready, even just to go out on a normal day. They wear nice shoes, a nice dresser, a nice skirt, their makeup's done, even to go to the gym. I remember in Odessa in the South Of The Ukraine a couple of summers ago, even just to go to the beach, a girl would be wearing heels, full makeup done, hair done and then her bikini. And she wouldn't wanna go swimming if she was with a guy or trying to flirt with guys because she wouldn't wanna spoil that preparation. So fair play, you know. Okay. Let's think of the balance as well because I've said about bikini and heels, but it's very hard for a girl, in terms of her fashion and style, to attract the alpha man that she wants in terms of the strong genetics and perhaps the provider that she needs, certainly as her clock is ticking, to look after her and perhaps marry her and look after the kids that she's gonna have with that guy. So she's kind of playing this dual mating strategy with her fashion. So half of her fashion needs to be quote unquote slutty enough to attract the alpha guy. So she needs to look feminine. But she needs to teeter right on the edge of being not too slutty but also not too serious. That's why you get that naughty secretarial kind of look that's kind of half formal, but she's got the glasses, she's got like the open blouse, she's got the heels. She's playing this balancing act because she's very aware that society, men and largely more women are actually gonna judge her. Why women judge other women is obvious in terms of biological mating strategies, because other women are trying to remove competition. That's other females with stronger SMVs by talking behind their back, by gossiping, by saying to the guy, oh my god, doesn't she look like a slut? By trying to say derogatory things to raise the other girl's SMV. That's why girls are bitchier than men. That's why girls love gossip more than men. It's a mating strategy. It's all part of the larger game. Once again, disclaimer, we're not doing these things consciously. Most of what's happening in the sexual marketplace and with our sexual market value is unconscious, it's hardwired. Girls suffer from competition and thinking about competition far more than guys. It's why girls get bullied in school more than boys. It's why girls look each other up and down in bars and clubs and like I said, make those snidey bitchy comments. Because if your SMV was just based on how you looked, again, just imagine that for a second, that you as a guy listening to this podcast, suddenly nothing else worked for you. Not your charisma, not your power, not your status, not your charm, not your flirtatious lines, not your day game ability. But it was just based on how you looked. Girls just based you on your looks, a bit like what happens on Tinder, then fuck you would pay attention to your image. You'd get your teeth whitened. You'd get a nose job. You'd sort your hair out. You'd sort your weight out. You'd read magazines. You'd clue yourself up with fashion blogs and you would look at other men around you. And if you were on a date with somebody and a better looking guy walked in and you noticed the girl you were with glance at that guy and smile, shit, yeah, you'd have to remove that competition. So it's dog eat dog for girls, bless them, when they're out and about. Again, that explains all those bitchy looks. And a girl needs to find that weird balance of not being so square looking or so sensible looking that she doesn't attract any of these alpha guys. But being too slutty is a dangerous tactic for a girl because obviously other girls, men in society will say, she's so cheap, she dresses like a whore, she dresses like a prostitute, oh my god. And she'll attract the wrong guys, the kind of the real bad boys, the hit and run boys who will just pump and dump her. Women have to play this balancing act. That's largely what this podcast comes down to. Thinking about the dual mating strategy that women are going through. And they're very aware that they've got this window on whatever level. So a girl knows that she's super attractive when she's 20, 21, 22, 23 and then it fades. So by the time she's 28, 29, 30, she can't attract the men that she was attracting in her late teens, early twenties. She feels at whatever level that time's running out, she needs to find the right guy. That's why girls say then, I've had enough of the bad boy. I don't know why I attract those kind of guys, I just wanna find a nice guy. And that's when they marry the childhood sweetheart or the divorced dad or the reliable guy at work because they're looking then for the provider. This is a funny fact. Once in Sweden, I was watching in bed with a Brazilian girl who I'd met in Sweden, episodes of Sex and the City. And I'd always made fun of Sex and the City but I watched this one episode of Sex and the City, an old American TV show about bitchy women in New York. And it was just on this topic about women hitting the wall, you could call it. And them realizing that they had partied too much and not spent enough time invested in looking for the right guy and then now they're all in their mid-30s, the magic's worn off and that kind of sadness that their window has closed. And women feel that and that's why there's all these jokes about old women, cat ladies going a bit loopy because they haven't found the right guy, they haven't had children, being all cranky and spinster y. Imagine that every year your SMV just slipped away and the only way to describe this to men is imagine if, I remember Krauser said this to me, imagine if every year as a guy you just got a little bit more creepy. So whatever you did, whenever you spoke to someone, you just sensed that you were being a bit more creepy and there was nothing you could do about it. Eventually, until you stopped existing for women, you were just so creepy that they didn't approach you or they didn't interact with you, they didn't talk to you. Every time you approached them they'd run away. That's kind of what it's like for a woman. So a woman who's in her 40s, 50s, sure you've got exceptions and you've got plastic surgery and celebrities but largely those women are invisible for men in their 20s and early 30s because we are looking for women in their prime. And now a woman might say, God, they're so shallow, guys just hitting on girls that are far younger than them, half their age, it's disgusting. Well, it's just biology. It's just a game, it's just a dance. So women should neither judge us for our sexual desires and needs and we shouldn't judge women for their sexual desires and needs. And that's really why I'm putting this podcast out there and why we should say go easy on girls in terms of their social media and their selfies and their strategic use of Instagram. It's like she's her own PR manager for her own brand. And she's got to do her own viral campaigns, she's got to think about her sales page and her squeeze page. That's what Facebook is. Step back and think about why do girls spend so long on posting the right picture at the right time, using the right jealousy plot line, wearing the right dress, just enough to show a little bit of boobs but not too much, etcetera etcetera. And there's no point debating all this stuff with girls, that's another big message that I preach when I'm talking about sexual market value in the sexual marketplace. Some guys like to get all logical on girls and try and explain all of this stuff and social dynamics to girls in the hope that their IQ will get the girl into bed. When really you can't explain this stuff to women because finding guys to sleep with ain't a problem for women. It's finding the right guys to stick around, that's their problem. We kind of have the opposite. So finding lots and lots of mates that are younger and hotter than us is difficult but then trying to get rid of them, that's the hard part because they obviously want us to stick around largely and be the father to the kids. So we have that problem of keeping it open. Girls are trying to find a guy to form a close relationship with. And I give the analogy that it's like asking a child how they would like to be disciplined. Now, I'm not saying women are just mindless children but there is that element of that the man is taking control in this mating dance. So the dance partner, the man, doesn't ask the woman in the dance how she would like to be twilled and turned in salsa or tango. He just leads her cause that's the definition of the dance. So trying to analyze with a girl why she's doing certain things at certain ages or having certain looks, she won't really understand cause she doesn't need to understand. The hardwired mating dances inside her and she's not thinking really consciously about all of these things. We're having to think consciously and logically about all these things because we find the first bit difficult, the approaching and the generating attraction and the seduction. And we're more logical. I know I'm stereotyping here, but we're more black and white. It can work for us like this. It won't work for a woman like that. It's largely emotional, it's very hormonal. So she's driven by things that are far deeper than she consciously realizes. So trying to speak to a girl about social dynamics or sexual economics, it's a waste of time. And you're just going down the logical naggy route. So far better, which is the message of this podcast, is to understand where women are coming from. Just put your mind in her shoes for a second. Okay? And I love this quote by apparently, this quote is by Napoleon. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. But Napoleon apparently said, a throne is only a bench covered in velvet. Or a variation I've heard is that a throne is just a velvet covered chair. And I always think about that when I see a really painted up glamour girl, let's say in FHM or in the corner of a nightclub or at a racing event where you get those promo girls with big boobs and kind of orange, Only way is Essex skin and you think, Wow, from a distance they catch your eye because of that SMV tick list. They've got the boobs and the waist, hip, bust ratio, and they've got the hair, they've got the skin, they're skinny enough but not too skinny, etcetera etcetera. And instinctively, that masculine drive in you goes, woah, look at her, she's amazing. When you get up close, as you know with exotic dancers, strippers, etc, even celebrities, girls that wear lots of makeup, you see that they aren't as hot as you thought they were. The amazing power of fashion and short skirts and heels and hair extensions and makeup and the right lighting. Perhaps you've met somebody from a dating website or I remember like if you've met a girl during the night, a number close to her and then you meet her out and about when she's not all dolled up, it's a shock. That's certainly the case in South Wales. So you've got to remember that the girls that might intimidate you in clubs and bars or in magazines, if you met them during the day, I. E. Daygame, why daygame is so cool, A throne is just a velvet coloured chair. And I'm saying that with love because girls have the same insecurities that guys have. They have massively more insecurities about their looks obviously because that's their SMV card. And even the hottest girl, quote unquote the 10, the hottest girl, she is still going home and worrying about her self image and she has all the same problems that guys have. She has to study or go to work, or she has the same financial worries or the same future worries. And guys go, Well, yeah, it's okay for girls because everything's bought for them and they can just rely on rich guys and they have the time of their lives. Well, I'll finish with this. You could say, Yeah, girls, a pretty girl would have a whale of a time between the age of 18 and 25. She'll be in Ibiza, she'll be on boats, she'll be in clubs, she could be dating rich boys, bad boys, DJs, whatever. And she will think the world is made of candy and flowers. But she'll have difficulties later. So between the ages of her late 20s and 30s, she'll realize when the shit hits the fan, the beauty's fading, that life's not easy and she might be left with kids or she might be left with a trail of bad boys or the wrong guy or she's married a provider who's just not fulfilling her sexual needs. For a guy, it's usually opposite. So we might really struggle in her late teens and twenties like I did, like a lot of guys that I teach do. You just don't get it, you don't know who you are, you're not tapping into your sexual market value at all if anything is going against you. But then when you learn this stuff in your mid to late twenties, when a girl's value is decreasing, the man's value is increasing. So a man's peak age in his SMV is in his early thirties. When he's got his shit together, his job, his look, his sexual energy, his sexual experience, his life experience, his confidence and his charisma, when that all comes together, a man in his early 30s can still pick up these girls who are 18, 19, 20, 21, so he wins. So if you're listening to this and you're 21 and you're moaning about girls having the time of their lives, just wait, don't worry. Your sexual market value is gonna peak later and the good news is that it will go on for later because you don't suffer from the menopause. Men can be attractive into their late fifties, sixties, seventies even if you've got your shit together and you're in good health with good style. Charisma's infectious, you know? Like I said recently, I think on a podcast, I saw a man on an airplane, was very old, an Italian guy, but he was dapper and he was cool and he was opening and sparking and spiking and it was cool. He was attracted to girls in their 20s. So let's try and be positive, let's not have a massive hate campaign against girls. Because when I read massive hateful rants on the internet usually or when students say odd comments about hating girls for this or hating girls for that, you sense it's coming from a place where that hate has a reason in that guy's life. Maybe it was divorce or bullying or something happened. And that's doing no good to his positive vibe for life and for daygame. So, like a naughty child, just stop and think about that child's parents, about that child's background and there's a different behavioural management strategy that you can take. It's good advice for girls that rather than getting reactive and angry, just stop and think, Why is that girl so bitchy? Or Why is she so orange and dolled up? Why is she wearing that certain thing or why is she not coming on a date with you, why is she not slutty, why is she playing the LMR cards, why is she making you wait, what is a good biological reason for that? Once you understand the mating game, it all gets a lot more chill. There you go. I think that's about half an hour. I'm off out now to meet Rami because the sun is shining. It's too good to be indoors. Time for some daygame. But, yeah, gonna keep going with the podcasts. Daily vlogs have now finished, but I will put out something from Croatia so you can see what Zagreb is like and you can see what the quality of the gills is like. Anyway, be good, and I will speak to you soon. Ta da.