---
title: Episode 173 Japanese Daygame Mission
episode_number: 173
era: late
source_file: Episode 173 Japanese Daygame Mission.mp3
audio_size_mb: 72.3
duration_sec: 2368.8
duration_min: 39.5
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.992
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:08:04Z---

# Episode 173 Japanese Daygame Mission

**Speaker 0:** This is a public service announcement on behalf of Tom Torero from inside a Japanese airport toilet before the usual podcast begins. Mister Peter McCallum from Glasgow, Scotland, congratulations, sir. You win the below the belt paperback. Copy. It will be posted to you as soon as possible. And secondly, in next week's podcast, Tom is doing a deep dive into his sizable mailbag, so leave any questions you have for a q and a, however perverted, below in the YouTube or blog post comments section. Right. With that out of the way, back to our usual schedule. Good evening, good morning, good afternoon. This is podcast episode a 173. Tom Torero and playing us in there. A band. Can you name the band? No. It's not James Brown. Although it sounds like James Brown. That was the average white band giving us today's title, pick up the pieces. When you're on the floor with your daygame mission and you've had your arse handed to you or as Tim here would say, you're arse handed to you. Arse. That's right. What do you do? How do you recover on a daygame mission? Does it end in glory? Does it end in crying? We're on the last day of our Japanese daygame mission and all will be revealed in today's podcast. Pick up the pieces. That band was from where, Timothy? Dundee.

**Speaker 1:** Dundee. Aye. And I heard you're from Scotland. Is that right? I'm nay from Scotland, but I grew up in Scotland. Where were you born? I was born in Kent.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, dear. Alright. What a what a mix. And you had a bit of a childhood in,

**Speaker 1:** was it Belgium? Secondary school in Belgium, up to ten years in Scotland.

**Speaker 0:** Sounds like a prison sentence. What a cock tale of wonder. And that was the average white band playing, pick up the pieces and yeah, they're from Dundee. Who'd have thought Dundee can do funk?

**Speaker 1:** What the funk? I have no idea.

**Speaker 0:** Well, you might recognize Timothy's voice. This is Tim. I've been to Japan with you three times. That's Sadly, you weren't here last year. I was just left with Ian in Kyoto, you know, a pale shadow of of a Tim replacement. It was good with Ian. But with Tim, the first time you might have heard Tim was in Bath. We did a podcast on small town daygame. The second time was did we do one in Tokyo?

**Speaker 1:** I don't think we did in Tokyo. I I recorded a podcast.

**Speaker 0:** I didn't invite you on. No. It's a good idea. So when was the next podcast? Was it our second Japanese trip?

**Speaker 1:** No. That was in Kiev.

**Speaker 0:** I remember. I remember lying there listening to Tim making Sweet Love, a same day delay. And then we did do one on our second Japanese trip, didn't we? Which was in a mystery city South of Tokyo. Mhmm. That's right. And that was a good year. We got laid in separately in Tokyo, but in this second Japanese mission, we, we thought we figured it out. We were the kings of the castle. You had the same day lay, I remember, and the same day delay. That's right. So that was a magnificent trip. Then the third year was Osaka last year. And this year, we chose a chilly city north of Tokyo, let's say. And we had high hopes. We agreed to do a certain amount of approaches. We kind of thought it was gonna be the same data as years one, two and for me three.

**Speaker 1:** But all didn't go to plan. Is that fair to say? That's true, missus Wilson. And can I say what a lovely cardigan you have? Thank you, Marjorie.

**Speaker 0:** There's there's many many explanations to be had for for Tim's running jokes. Mhmm. But I appreciate it. I appreciate the fact that he's brought a is it plastic? Rubber? A rubbery slug. Mhmm. Tim, you had one of these before? I did. Yes. You lost it? He got stolen, actually, slugnapped. By a by a bird? He a Chinese bird, yes, in Shanghai. And it was a kind of a lucky slug for you, the first one? He was, yes, very lucky. And you took photos of the slug on girls' bodies with their permission? They they seemed to like the slug trails? They did. They loved they loved mister Squishy. And anyway, mister Squishy was stolen. And you before this Japanese trip, Tim said, can you order mister squishy number two of Amazon? So he was we've just found out he was made in Taiwan and he came to Wales. And I brought him to Japan and you're about to take him to China. And I was looking at this slug for the past two weeks thinking this is just a fucking bad omen, Timothy. Right? Because the topic of today is picking up the pieces as in a disaster. A daygame mission has highs and lows. It's a roller coaster and of course, you get rejections rejections and and flakes flakes and and you expect a few dodgy dates. But, you know, there's there's disaster and then there's mental collapse. And it's hard enough. I always say, Tim, stop stroking. It's like, it's hard enough if you're if you kind of got an average stable mind. I'm not saying you're unstable, Tim, but I'm unstable. Okay. You said it. On other podcast, you said about not just your history with anxiety, mainly depression, medication but that it the fact that it's ongoing. That's right, yes. I'm about as stable as

**Speaker 1:** As the slug. The slug that's been placed on your knee.

**Speaker 0:** Yes. So I was thinking as we got into the end of week one of this trip, fucking hell, I'm struggling here, you know. Taste of my own medicine when I was saying to you, oh, you know, flakes are normal. We've got to wait till the end of the trip, but fuck we were going through we were going through blowouts. You're having blowouts. We were collecting numbers. Mhmm. And we were getting more flakes on this trip than usual. That's right. Yes. I was going early on on some kind of shitty afternoon Starbucks dates where the mom would turn up or the friend would turn up and I was thinking, okay, this is a bit more than normal. Nothing was really happening by coming up to the end of week one. And then we went from low thinking, oh my god, this city might not work, to what we thought was gonna be a lay for each of us separately. So do you wanna talk about the first peak at the end of week one for you?

**Speaker 1:** Yes. This was, an approach in a shop, actually, a shop assistant.

**Speaker 0:** I didn't know it was a shop assistant. It was. Yeah. In

**Speaker 1:** Gap, actually.

**Speaker 0:** She did have a Gap. And she was 23?

**Speaker 1:** 24.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, I let you off.

**Speaker 1:** Mhmm. And

**Speaker 0:** first date was?

**Speaker 1:** I was planning to take her to a bar, but the bar I was going to take her to was closed. It wasn't open yet. So I had to take her to a different place.

**Speaker 0:** And you suggested the bounce back. You said to me, Tom, I'm bouncing. Yeah. But she wouldn't come in. That's right. Yes.

**Speaker 1:** So you set up a second date of Yes. The the local bar we've been going to where we play pool and

**Speaker 0:** Right next to our house. Yes. Eat dodgy

**Speaker 1:** deep fried onion rings.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. And Yeah. Food in Japan is pretty good, but that bar is shockingly deep fried. Yes. And but anyway. And from there, you got her back to the apartment on second date.

**Speaker 1:** On the second date, yes. Mhmm. Oh, with a little walk in the park? Walk in the park first, then then back to the apartment straight away. Yes. So

**Speaker 0:** you're thinking, right. This is it. Finally, end of week one. Gonna get laid here. Yes. And clothes were coming off. You got into your bedroom

**Speaker 1:** off and on, off and on. That's right. You were away on a trip somewhere else, so I had your whole apartment to myself so I could take her into the lounge and watch a film. So easier than just taking it directly into the bedroom.

**Speaker 0:** Yep. Oh, it all happened here, did it? On this sticky sofa? On this sticky sofa. Yes. Oh, good. Good. I thought that was a slugger. No. No. That was all me. Okay. So you're thinking this is good? Yes. About to send Tom the message.

**Speaker 1:** Yes. Trying to make out on the sofa. Clothes started to come off. She seemed to be up for it, then got to the stage of removing underwear, and then just suddenly she said, no. She well, she just started talking in Japanese. She couldn't translate it into English. Then I think she used her phone and just said, not in the mood,

**Speaker 0:** and left. So left with your dick in your hand, quite literally. Mhmm. Blue balls. And isn't you know, when guys worry about approach anxiety or maybe she's gonna walk past me. That's nothing, is it? Compared to a date flake, but then a girl in your apartment semi naked Mhmm. And not getting laid. Yes. That's a low. That's true.

**Speaker 1:** For me actually, getting to that stage is actually I I feel quite good getting to that stage because I don't often get that far. So But you weren't frustrated sitting here alone? Tommy was away? A little bit. Although I just I actually just snuck around your bedroom and looked in your underwear drawer.

**Speaker 0:** Well, that's what most people do. Understandable in times of need. And meanwhile, I was oh, excuse me. I was in a nearby city. Simultaneously also being quite cocky initially because a girl had, I had met this girl in the city where where where we're in now and she had said, look, I'm going to this neighboring city to do a motorbike course. Do you wanna spend the evening with me basically? And I showed you the messages and I couldn't believe it. And we were like, well, this is clearly on. She's probably got a boyfriend here or a husband here. So I took a train perhaps, over investing to a to a nearby city and she turned up, all tarted up and and the drinks were flowing and I thought this was amazing. And you know whenever you think a daygame lay is in the bag, it's not in the bag. And we were making out in the second venue and then I got her back to my pokey hotel room by the train station and, fooling around, got a lovely hand job and she just said no. She's on her period and I had my hand down her jeans a little bit and she had a like a pad. She wasn't telling porcupines and she just wasn't happy. Some girls are with sex on the period, she wasn't. So when she left, because she had to go back to where she was staying ready for her motorcycle course in the morning, I did lie on the bed just thinking, fuck. That's like, a, that was over investment, b, I was overly cocky because I presumed it was a lay, and c, you would ask you would message me, you know, how did it go? And I did just think, fuck. Okay. That's the end of week one. And back to square one, we had got tired of the flakes, but I thought, right, I gotta pick myself up, pick up the pieces, go come back to the city and we we had a chat, do you remember? Just to say, play on. Yes. Back to square one. Quite literally go out again and do the same number of approaches. Again, collect the same number of numbers because all the numbers we'd got by then were fizzling out. They were dead ends. They were time wasters. So I couldn't see why because daygame was all the same as ever. They were keen, weren't they, when your number closed? Yes. They would even agree when you said

**Speaker 1:** you had a lovely cardigan on. I had my my

**Speaker 0:** floral Debenhams cardigan on. Is it Marks and Spencer's? That's the other one. Okay. Yeah. That was the Tokyo one. They've got some lovely stuff there, haven't they? It's that Christmas sale. So how did you feel going into that second week, Timothy, to keep you on track?

**Speaker 1:** I'll be honest. Very up and down. Was having some sessions where I was going out and kind of thinking about jumping off the top of a department store. Sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was just like going into hell. Because this place where we daygame, it was very intense. You go into this big tunnel underground. There's masses of people and it's kind of overwhelming.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. The the because of the temperature, so the outdoor daygame and the layout of the city, the outdoor daygame was pretty nonexistent. So you either have to go into a tunnel, a shop, or a train station. Mhmm. And that volume of people Yes. Spins your mind. Yes. You just you can't take it all in, all the people coming at you, sort of it's like being in the middle of a nightclub almost. And the temperatures were plummeting. Mhmm. We had run out of our supply of Tim Tam biscuits that Tim had brought all the way from China. That's right. Tim Tam biscuits. Yep. Sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Mister squishy was laughing at us. Yeah. This fucking slug that Tim kept on hiding in various parts of the apartment, I said I picked him up and I said, Tim, this is a bad omen. And by the end of the week two, if we don't get further than we are now, I'm gonna burn him. And Tim was a bit shocked. The slug was a bit shocked. Yes. Could we snatch victory from the jaws of Tentacles. From the tentacles of defeat. And at this point, I really had to say, Tom, you need to swallow your own medicine because I'd been nagging you like, come on Tim, we need to keep going out, zoom out, it's all normal, flakes are normal, but I was starting to think, fuck, How many more girls are gonna arrange a date and then flake? Tim, stop distracting me. He's waving his slug. I'm gonna hide him by my tea. What a mighty slug that is. So we look at the cheesy quotes, things like, in order to succeed, you must dare to fail. That's pretty cheesy, isn't it? Yeah. The second cheesy quote of today is courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. And do you know which daygamer said that? Winston Churchill. Yes. Oh. One of the original London daygamers. And finally, failure, said Henry Ford, is the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely. So what did we change in the second week when I was saying to you, right, fuck, we need to change up the strategy a little bit. Yeah. You were doing sets in Japanese. And how were we changing the sets?

**Speaker 1:** We were trying to go for instant dates and also trying to get the girls to agree to a time and for meeting.

**Speaker 0:** Yep. Yep. So not just taking the number, but saying, look, are you free tomorrow or when are you free or do you like beer or coffee or trying to set up the date and trying to instant date. Do you like slugs as well? Yes. Are you ready for Tim to leave a slug trail over your body? And this one lonely Tim Tam biscuit was sitting in on the table because we'd been having many Tim Tams for breakfast and you quite sadly left the Tim Tam on the side and said, whoever gets laid first can eat the final tim tam. And it was counting down now. The days were counting down and the weather was getting colder and I was looking at that fucking slug saying, right, he's going to get it now. And I kept saying, because we're surrounded by these lovely temples near us and I said, I'm gonna take him and just burn him as a as an offering Yeah. To the day and go, this is getting really bad. And so we got to, yesterday. Yesterday, which was a Sunday, and this was really the end of our trip. Today's just today and tomorrow just kind of, touristy days. But we were saying this is our last day of daygame. Yep. And shall I go first about my 03:00 date? Hey. Oh, no. No. No. We gotta talk about the morning because this is interesting. I woke up feeling sleepy and shit and groggy, and you were you were feeling good on the Sunday morning? I was feeling okay.

**Speaker 1:** Why were you feeling groggy? I can't remember. What happened Saturday night? Saturday night, we on Saturday evening, we met in that pub, and we were in a bad mood about the day's daygame.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. We were grumbling. Mhmm. And we had postponed a little trip to say, look, we're gonna we're gonna do we say try a bit more? No. We're gonna have a break, we said. Yeah. We were going to go to that mountain. And say, we're gonna have a break on the Sunday, get our energy back, and try and finish this mission for the final couple of days. But, yeah, I said on yesterday, I think we should stay here because I've got a date at 3PM and it looks like I've got a date at 09:30PM. Suddenly these numbers came back to life. So we said, we'll do some daygame. I woke up. I was filling shit. We went to a nearby university area and you were you were you closed one, didn't you? I did. Yes. I was in a bad mood. I wasn't doing any daygame. And suddenly, we walked past this sign on a shop window. And what what roughly did this massive sign say?

**Speaker 1:** It said something about making your date with destiny.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. It was like a big Tony Robbins kind of quote in bad Japanese English translation about today lucky day. Luck day today. Date destiny. And I looked at you, Tim. And I said, today's the lucky day. So anyway, I went on this, afternoon date which they've been bad ideas here in Japan. I've just done them because girls have been so busy. She said, okay, I can meet you in the middle of the afternoon for a coffee. And I wouldn't normally do this but I said, okay, met her and it was on, big eyes, touching, sexual topics, but then one hour into the date she just said, now I go. I meet my mother. Bye bye. See you next time. Bye. So I was like, fuck. Okay. Well, that's one option left for this evening with a dental nurse that you saw me stop the previous day or a couple of days before. Yep. It was a rare street stop because it's been cold here and it was a shit set. It's a throwaway number but this dental nurse has said, I'll see you in the evening after my job, 09:30. But anyway, so while I was on that afternoon date, I couldn't believe it but Tim said I'm gonna go out and carry on daygaming. I was like bloody hell man, you you told me about your ratios and your numbers and things and I was like, fair play. You're either clinically insane or you just, you know, get laid or die trying. Both. You're correct. Definitely both. Mad. And so what happened? Drum roll, please. In

**Speaker 1:** fact, the first set I did was I didn't really feel like doing it, but I went out anyway because I didn't want to be at home in case you bounced that that girl back, and I had to hear lots of sex noises going on.

**Speaker 0:** Guys pay for that one. Mhmm. Yeah. But that was very kind of you. Thank you, Tim. It's okay. It was bloody cold. Yes. So You're the street. You weren't even in the the grimy tunnels. No. I was walking just towards H And M

**Speaker 1:** where I was planning to go in, and just as I was walking there, I saw a girl, I think, walk out of H And M actually, maybe. And I just stopped her, and it was the usual Japanese daygame scenario where she speaks no English, and she just she stands there but doesn't give me anything. No English. Everyone's completely confused. Yes. Very confused. I say, you look nice. You student. You look like from London. Don't give all your secrets away to me. Okay. No. This is gold.

**Speaker 0:** This is advanced level daygame, you know. I love the way you you know, improvised there and the verbal dexterity that this girl is enjoying, you know. That's right. Yes. And you said to me the set was pretty shit. Yes. Even by my standards, it was shit. So but because we had had this agreement for you to push it Mhmm. What did you do? So I just said,

**Speaker 1:** okay, we go for coffee. And I was expecting her to say, oh, no no no no no. I meet friend. But in fact, she just said, okay.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. And she was wearing high heels. Mhmm. That's a clue for the rest of the story. And she followed you for a Starbucks. Yes. And meanwhile, I was sulking after this 3PM day and I said, Tim, it's bloody cold. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna hide in my room and just curl up in a ball in a dark room because you had said, I'm gonna try and bounce her. Mhmm. And what happened next?

**Speaker 1:** I think in Starbucks, I had suggested going for a walk in the park. But by the time we left Starbucks it was starting to get dark, so I decided just to walk her to the apartment and make her a nice cup of English tea. It's the beautiful thing about Japan. If you compare this to the Moscow mission or other countries are available.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. If you get a compliant Japanese girl, they have no problems with following and coming back to your apartment, do they? First day, second day. Yeah. You don't get any sexual shame. But anyway, okay. And so I'm in the apartment. You're saying, I'm coming back. I could hear the door. Beep beep beep. Yes. In comes I turn out the lights. I I put put in my headphones, and then she's in the apartment. What happens next?

**Speaker 1:** I take her into the living room again, get my laptop out, offer her a drink, and then Where where was mister Squishy? Had you hidden him? Because he does look like a sex toy. He does. Yeah. He was I think he was hiding in one of your gloves at that point, actually. He was planning to shock you when you next put on your glove. Thank God she didn't see it. Okay.

**Speaker 0:** And I could hear a laptop going on. I could hear a movie in Japanese or something. I could hear you talking her palm reading. God, that what a cheesy p way you are. I know. Yes. Where did you get this shite from? I've got no idea. I could hear you comparing hand sizes and Mhmm. And then it all went quiet, and I could just hear a movie, and I was thinking, what is Tim doing? What is going on in there?

**Speaker 1:** Yes. I was watching well, we were watching a Japanese horror film. And? And I was what was even more scary is trying to make the first move, of course. I was kinda trying to Oh, by the way, sorry. She didn't have tea. She didn't have tea. No. She had she went for some alcohol.

**Speaker 0:** You gave her the option and you opened the fridge. Mhmm. That's interesting that she chose like a cocktail. Yes. Whiskey and soda. Yeah. In a can in Japan. So second interesting thing. Okay.

**Speaker 1:** So we were holding hands. She was kind of occasionally in it, sometimes not into it. And I started to

**Speaker 0:** go further. Did you make out with her then?

**Speaker 1:** Yes, actually.

**Speaker 0:** And then how did you know to make the big move?

**Speaker 1:** She just asked me to turn the lights off.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, classic. Okay. And you're still in the living room? Yes. So I thought, at that point, well, I can just lead her into the bedroom and turn the lights off in there. And you left the laptop in here? I did. The phone was left on the table. And I just heard you guys go into the room, I thought, on. So?

**Speaker 1:** Yes. From there, it was all fairly smooth.

**Speaker 0:** This is the bit where a wing has to be honest. Right? I'm in the room and 50% of me I genuinely was half and half. 50% of me was obviously thinking fucking brilliant, you know? I can I can hear these weird Japanese sex noises and weird grunts from an English Scottish Belgian guy? And I thought, good on you, Tim. This is amazing. Same day lay. And I hot as we discovered afterwards, 21 years old. Yeah. But a half of you, obviously, if you're with a wing and you haven't got laid and you're listening to that lying in your bed in the dark is just thinking, fuck, you know, fuck. And then by this time, I should say my evening date looked like she was flaking. Mhmm. Because she said, I I'm busy at work. I'm will be late. So I was thinking, okay. We come right down to the wire here and Oh, I should say that as you as I think you had started having sex with her, did you hear that alarm going off on her phone? Yes. I thought it was a film actually. Yeah. I thought it was a film. And for a couple of minutes, it carried on. And then I crept out of the room in true good wingmanship style, and I put her phone on silent. So I didn't want her to run out of the room and turn her phone off. But anyway, I thought, okay. Well, I've heard enough of these sex noises. I'm gonna go out for some fresh air. So I messaged you, I'm just going out, the enjoy the lay. And it was cold and it was dark. And this is where if you're religious and you believe in the daygame gods and the sacrifice of a slug on a fire, you might think, well, this is this is amazing. And I've got the timings on the phone and I sent you a screenshot. This is this happened. But I walk out of the apartment and a different girl from, I think week one, was it? The one that said she was gonna come over for cooking? Oh, yes. That one. Yeah. I had an instant date with a kind of a set a weird sexual vibe. And she wouldn't come back that day. She said she'll come over for cooking. Lada da, she flaked. And anyway, this girl out of the blue just says, where are you? I'm nearby. And I said, oh, I'm near as well. Let's meet. We meet and I'm rapidly texting you, Tim, I've met a different girl and I'm gonna bring her straight back to the apartment because this girl had said to me, I only have a few hours and I sent you the screenshot. So you very kindly did what? At that point, I'd finished

**Speaker 1:** my evil deeds. So me and the girl had bounced back, went out for some food.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. And I You say I'm coming out now, I'm in the lift and me and the other girl walked past you and you blank me. And I get this girl without a coffee or anything into the elevator up to here. I made you a cup of tea, I think. I or was that this I can't yes. I think we had a cup of tea or no. I put a drink down on the table, whatever. But we didn't even get that fry. Didn't even open the laptop. We started making out, took it to the room because it had been a very sexual instant date. And I'm thinking this is amazing. This is within half an hour of Timmy's ban. And this is where this is where I would say pieces are smashed onto the floor. I got naked, she got naked. Let's say there was a happy blow job. Mhmm. And then I was like, right. Got ready to have sex and she's like, no. And I was thinking, she means no without a condom. I go, actually put on a condom. Forgive me if you're listening to this at work. And I stand there and she's just like, no. No sex. And I'm confused and I do the roll off and I do the normal two steps forward one step back and anyway she's just she just says no, crazy girl, I crazy girl about sex, not today, no no no no no. So I didn't push it obviously and, it finished with just kind of a sorrowful ejaculation, and

**Speaker 1:** no lay. And A big lovely bush.

**Speaker 0:** I I wasn't gonna say the bush bit, but she did have a big bush. Yep. Which I'm not a fan of, but you are, Tim. I love a big bush. And so I think you messaged me and said, how's it going? And I said, you know, epic failure. For some guys, that would be good. But I I just wanted to put P and V. So for me it was like and it was like wasted energy. All that pent up horniness had quite literally been expelled. And I walked that girl to the tube, to the local metro and kind of knew that she was a game player, she was a time waster, I wouldn't see her again. And I went to a local bar and thought, I'll have a beer and I'll message him. And you said, oh, I'm I've just eaten with that girl and we're gonna go back to the apartment and have more sex. Was it something like that? That's right. Yes. Because the first time wasn't completely successful

**Speaker 1:** due to some size compatibility issues.

**Speaker 0:** Your very small penis Yes. And her extremely large That's right. Vag. That's She said, is it in? She did. Yes. I understand, Tim. I understand. And so you were back here doing the deed. I was in a bar and it was raining outside, and I was just thinking, oh, You know, this evening one's definitely flaked now. I wasn't getting any messages. You I think you said it was safe to come back or something like that, so I crept back in. This was now pretty late in the evening and I remember meeting you in the kitchen and congratulating you. And you said, she's she's gonna sleep over. And just at that point, do you remember I showed you my phone? The dental nurse agreed to come out at ten So I said to you, Tim, do you have any Cialis? Because I'm just not in the mood and what happens if I pull this girl back and it's on? And magically you did.

**Speaker 1:** Good old uncle Tim has everything in his gigantic big suitcase. Yeah. That's what the Japanese girl told me. And you

**Speaker 0:** gave me a cheeky cialis and I thought, well, I'm not gonna drop it. I'm not gonna take it because it has side effects which I've had before. I'd only take it if this girl bounces. So anyway, here's where my roller coaster really began for the day. I had gone up and down and up and down And I went to meet this girl at oh, is that another one? Who's that one? Tim's just got a text message. Is that the bed from yesterday? No. This is from a while back. This week? This week. I don't like the sad crying face though. No. I can kind of guess what that means. Put this into Google Translate. Okay. While you're doing that, I'll I'll say the beginning of this story. Right? That I go down 10PM thinking this girl is 21, she's got to get home probably within an hour or two so I'm just gonna go for it. I, meet her at the meeting place. She's all dolled up actually after work. I walk her to one bar which is halfway between the meeting point and our place and we have a quick, whiskey coke and I'm doing the doing the hand holding, I'm looking into her eyes, I'm saying she's got dangerous eyes, I'm doing the triangular gazing, I ask her to stand up, how tall are you, and I'm like it's on. So I messaged you. Do you remember, Tim? I'm bouncing home. Yeah. What did I say for you to do? Just

**Speaker 1:** hide the shoes.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. Hide your one's shoes. And you said, oh, my one's sleeping. Mhmm. So I was thinking, okay. So amazingly, again, for English tea, this girl seems to know what's up. No questions at all. She walks straight into the lift. She walks straight down the corridor. And we don't have a key. We have a keypad. And on this trip, I've never forgotten the code, have I? No. And I stood at that door last night and I had a a blank. I couldn't remember the code. And I tried it a few times and the door was saying no. So I started hammering on the door. I could hear you. Yes. Fuck you, Timothy. I was thinking this is okay. This is gonna be blue balls number three and you kindly came and opened the door in your In my towel. In your towel. And I was thinking this is gonna freak out this girl, but it didn't seem to. No. She was so sweet. She was perhaps innocent, but as it turned out, not so innocent. But she was just a lovely girl. And so very kindly, Tim hid in his room, in his towel with this girl who was asleep. I bought her here. I think the laptop went on. I made her tea. Actually, I made a tea. And very quickly, we were making out, wandering hands. I was thinking, okay, this is definitely on Tom. Take your time. Don't rush this one. So we watched a bit of the film, took it into the bedroom. GYDO, get your dick out. She was really into it so I'm mentally just going, this is yes, yes, this is it. Okay, again take your time. And when I went to put my hand down there, just went, no. And I said, okay, this is normal, you know, token playfulness and roll off, try again, no. And I pointed, I said, woman's day period. Yes, it's my period. And I could feel actually over her clothes some kind of massive like nappy pad. Get off Timothy. He's trying to reconstruct it for a cheeky grope. Anyway, she wasn't telling a lie. She was embarrassed and I did all these little things about look, can use a towel, it's okay, it's natural, I like it. But she was like no, next time, next time, next time. So I kind of resigned myself to thinking fuck, okay, just another hand job. And we were making out but I could see she was she was horny and when I bit her neck or was talking into her ear or just telling her what I'd do to her, she was really into it. And then suddenly trousers off, it was in. P was in b and I was a happy bunny and it was all good. And I knew Tim was just a thin Japanese wall away, probably with his kinky ear to the wall. I was. Yes. Damn bastard. As he's hot, he slept next to him. And that was that. And then we crept into the kitchen afterwards. I think when I dropped mine back off and we deconstructed it all, I went and bought you some celebratory food. What did I buy you, Timothy? You bought me a cream custard. And that's not a euphemism. And the slug was saved. The slug was saved. He turned out to be quite a lucky slug. We we shook hands. We said good trip. We had, well, I certainly had one of these. A Japanese chocolate coated vanilla cream sandwich pie. Yum yum. Which has replaced our Tim Tams. And again, that's not a euphemism. You love these vanilla cream sandwich pies. I do. They're not as good as my delicious cinnamon rolls, but Or the Tim Tams. No. But these will do if you're ever in Japan, get a choco pie. So mister Sluggie, mister Squishy survived another day. We woke up today thinking mission accomplished really. And we did all our stats and they're actually not too bad when we reflect on how many approaches to numbers, to dates, to near misses, to lays. It's pretty well better than Tokyo for you. Mhmm. Not as good as the second city. No. But better than Tokyo. Yep. And pretty good compared to actually to where you live in China. That's right. Yes. And she was good yesterday, wasn't she? Yes. Yeah. Shaved bush, but you can't have everything. And she stayed over and I woke up this morning slightly groggy from the booze and the cialis and I thought that's a weird alarm clock or a drill outside. I could just hear. So thank you, Tim, for waking me up That's okay. With Japanese porn. And then we just had a day after day, and ironically, it rained all day. But there you go. Can you pick up the pieces from disaster? Yes, you can. Was it perhaps one of the hardest daygame trips I've done mentally? Yeah. This was even harder than Moscow. I don't know why. I was just it was just the pure flakes, I think. And for you, you had highs and lows?

**Speaker 1:** That's right. More than more than the last few Japanese trips or the last two trips. Yeah. And were there times when you thought,

**Speaker 0:** you know, self pity?

**Speaker 1:** Oh, yes. Definitely. I was

**Speaker 0:** seriously considering jumping off the top of this apartment. No. You weren't. You were thinking of stopping daygame or thinking this I remember thinking saying to you probably over a bit, this is just not gonna work. Mhmm. Yes. The self pity usually at the beginning of a trip when you think, fuck, this is hard. There's self pity in the middle when you think I'm not going to make it, which was my self pity. And right near the end, you think I'm going to pass out here. This is like a marathon. And that was me sitting in that bar alone yesterday thinking I just what's the fucking point, you know? But there you go. It's part of the game. It's inherent in the game. I'm lecturing you, but I went through all this this week. Can you beat yourself? Would you agree, Tim? This is a mind game? It is. Yes. Definitely. Rather than any other game. Mhmm. If you can survive the mind game, you'll get laid. Mhmm. But if we had stopped approaching at the end of week one, well, after some failures, we'd have probably hated this city and probably given up on Japan. Quite possibly. Yes. And I always thought Japan was my one

**Speaker 1:** good country. My one most successful country, so it would have been.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. I said to you, didn't I? I can't believe we're failing because it's gonna make me not want to come back to Japan. We've always succeeded. Mhmm. But there you go. This podcast has gone over time, but it was worth telling those stories because yesterday was like some fucking Lord of the Rings. I went to sleep thinking that was a crazy crazy day. And and was it fate? Was it mister squishy? It was mister squishy definitely. Was his lovely little Was it that trip to the Japanese temple we went to? Was it was it Justin Bieber singing in a bar actually as I was on my own? I should say drinking that beer. Justin Bieber, often a wingman for me to get laid because girls put him on. He started singing that song, everything's gonna be alright.

**Speaker 1:** However thought that was he's 17. Well,

**Speaker 0:** either of them helped me, Timothy. I smiled and said, thank you, Justin. Everything's gonna be alright. And and it was. It was. Well, Timothy, grandfather time is upon us. Yes. You need some sleep because your buddha's coming over tomorrow for another smashing.

**Speaker 1:** Yes. And may I say, what a lovely cardigan.

**Speaker 0:** Thank you, Mavis. And on that note, we shall say soupy twist. Soupy twist.