---
title: Episode 174 Daygame Q&A
episode_number: 174
era: late
source_file: Episode 174 Daygame Q&A.mp3
audio_size_mb: 65.3
duration_sec: 2139.7
duration_min: 35.7
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.989
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:08:09Z---

# Episode 174 Daygame Q&A

**Speaker 0:** Hello. This is Tom Torero, podcast 174. It's a q and a. We shall dive deep into the mailbag in just one second. But before I do that, before I go to Russia, my final trip of the year in a few days time to try and close some of those juicy loops that I opened in October, an important announcement. But actually, by the time this podcast goes out, might be irrelevant because the tickets might have gone. But on Saturday December 15 here in Central London from 9AM to 4PM, I'm doing a new outer game practical dirty daygame seminar called dirty tricks. And it's pure do this say this technique. There's no mind wank, there's no filler theory, there's no inner game, it's all outer game technique. There were only 14 tickets because it's an intimate venue size. Lunch is included. Snacks are included. Tea and coffee is included. Tom Torero is included for £30. There were 14 tickets. I put it on the blog, and 11 immediately went. And that's not a trick to get you to buy the remaining three from scarcity if you know that classic sales pick up technique. There really are only three tickets. And by the time this podcast goes out, they might have gone. If you want one, first of all, inquire if there are any left send me an email with the subject seminar tickets my email address is tom tomtorero dot com it will sell out for sure but anyway I'll try and video record it so if you if you can't come to the seminar it should be available in the future alright the q and a I haven't done one for a long time three disclaimers first of all number one if it was a beginner question and there were a lot of beginner questions out of the seventy eighty questions that were in the mailbag I understand maybe you're new to the channel new to the podcast new to finding out about street seduction street pickup that's fine but I've answered beginner questions again and again and again and again and I'll make a blog post with links to the beginner daygame model the texting model the dating model stuff about male sexual market value what is the basics of attraction I'll put that on the blog because I'm not going to repeat myself. That's why I stopped teaching basically. Because I sounded like a broken record teaching beginner daygame. And there's nothing wrong with beginner daygame, it's just you don't want to be fatigued from teaching it. And in my textbook, here's the plug of the day my textbook is called street hustle and in section three of that I answer the 100 most common daygame questions so if you can't wait to get some juicy beginner questions answered by the textbook number two some guys asked about specific individual girls or scenarios you know how do I get that one girl she was so nice she even though she didn't reply to my last 20 messages No, no big red flags. Okay, you're in scarcity, you're needy. It's coming across as needy to us and definitely it's coming across as needy to the girl. One is too close to none. As the old PUA advice says go talk to more girls get more girls salespeople would say generate more leads stop chasing dead leads and number three there were some hypothetical questions you know if I do this what will happen what about this could you try comparing this to this Once again, my friend, PUA advice. It used to be don't ask me, go out infield and test it three times minimum, come back, report your findings, we will discuss that's what this new seminar is basically it's my findings which I shall report back to other daygamers and we can compare notes alright diving in question number one I think this was on the blog from Scott he asking what do I think of the manosphere slash red pill? Well, I shall not spend too long in this question other than saying ignore, avoid, move on. It's become hijacked. Those two terms, they're very cringey. It's become, very religious, very political, very weirdly ironically prudish and puritanical. Guys online playing the victim, moaning. No, no, no. You're on the wrong channel. You're on the wrong blog. This is about going out and smashing hot girls. And the original meaning of the red pill in terms of smashing hot girls was just applying evolutionary biology to real world experiences. Alright? So how men and women interact. Now it's all, you know, that term and the manuscript discuss everything from from fitness and Christianity to obviously politics and and all that stuff. But get offline. Don't let other guys moan and drag you down. Go and talk to girls. They're lovely. They're very fluffy. Question number two from he says, is a weekend enough time for a euro trip, a euro mission, a euro joint? He says, I work during the week and I am considering going on one. Well, how long is a piece of string? Depends how good your game is. Depends which city you're going to. Is it Vegas? London? Where you can do fast, easy, gutter games, same night lays, same day lays? How good your escalation? What's your experience of fast pulls? Do you like the city? Is it a weekend trip is good to go and see a) is there volume and b) do you like the city would you come back and close the loops like I'm gonna do in Moscow so you're gonna go there for two and two or three days maybe do 30 approaches maybe 50 if you're dedicated and go back and close those loops as I said if it's Russia good luck to you two or three days alright question number three mister n he says hi Tom from Norway hello Norwegians he says I wanted to ask how you became a coach well mister n I think that's podcast number two it's called how to become a daygame coach he goes on to say is it okay that I no longer do daygame but okay but still coach men what I learned when I was doing it or should I should a coach always be single? Yeah. Harsh but true. I think a coach should be infield. I think a coach should have skin in the game. He should be walking the walk. You should teach pickup if you're in a very serious lovey dovey relationship or you've not done much daygame. I used to say to friends that would be like a fat guy being a personal trainer or a guy that loves his McDonald's being a nutritionist. Know? If you're in a relationship, fair play. But if you're teaching daygame in field, should have wireless mics, you should be demoing, you should have a model, you should be giving feedback, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Question four. I'm speeding through these because I'm gonna try and do about thirty today, if that's possible. Gilam, he says, to be good at daygame, should I master frame control and be dominant? How can I learn to be better at frame control? Well, yes. A pickup artist, a pimp, a hustler, a salesman has master frame control and is dominant. Not in the angry kind of fighting dominance, but in soft dominance. In dominance without seeming dominant, that's the art and craft of pickup. And how to be better at frame control? Well, that's a meta question. That comes from, once again, practical micro experiences and techniques about holding the frame, passing passing shit tests yeah so you need to get out there and do the micro stuff and over time the macro frame will improve it was like when I was training to be a school teacher, a lot of it was in classrooms but a lot of it was also in university lecture halls and they would give us lectures on behavioral management. And it means jack shit. Okay? You can't learn frame control in a lecture theater. You have to stand on the battle battlefield, face the bullets, and you learn bloody quickly. So if you're out there doing day game and you're getting maybe girls and you're getting shit tests and you're getting flakes and you're getting some princesses then your frame will improve pretty quickly or if you really want to accelerate your learning a frame take a trip to Russia do some Russian daygame or some Brazilian daygame or some Colombian daygame question number five from Ian any thoughts on how to pick up uni girls as a 31 year old I live right by the campus so sometimes feel the spotlight effect during daygame since I don't go there I do this a lot in cities. I infiltrate university campuses and remember I'm 39. I'm a dirty old bastard. So it depends on the layout of the campus. Is it a private campus or is it accessible? Like, in London, University College London or, in New York NYU down by Washington Square. Does it have thoroughfares? Is it open access with streets going through it like in, where is University of Austin Texas or UCLA. So you go on the campus, you stroll through, you don't do lots of approaches, you don't spam it, you don't jump in front of girls, you got to be smooth, you got to be under the radar. You can even be indirect if you're good. Don't go indirect. But you can be soft, you can be flirty. You can carry a laptop if you want to blend in and say that you're a post graduate student. When I do, when she says, why are you on campus? I say I'm visiting a friend who works there or I'm visiting my friend who's a post grad there. Just brush it aside. Find the Starbucks as well. Find the coffee shop. Find the place where the students spill out on the hour every hour particularly at lunchtime where do they go and eat where do they go and drink coffee there were other questions about how do you pick up at uni but again that's not really what this channel is about if you're uni I always say just be social learn social skills you don't need to cold approach so you join clubs and societies and you are the host of the parties you are the networker save the cold approach for when you're older, when you're hitting anonymous streets and when you don't have that lovely funnel of young horny girls who are drinking alcohol. That's what university is about. Alright. Question seven. From an interestingly named man called Pimpy Piper, the naughtypiedpiper 96. He says, how do you show intent without being needy? Okay. It's a bit of a red flag question because it's a theoretical question and it's the same question I've noted as a guy called where is it Lucas Bay Fitness who asked me direct approaching a woman by saying a compliment, doesn't it lower our sexual market value? No. The lion chasing the gazelle you could say is needy because oh my god look at that lion he's so hungry. He's chasing after a gazelle and lowering his value as a lion. Well, he's needy, he's chasing until the moment where he sinks his teeth into the gazelle, kills it and eats it. So your job is to put your balls on the line. Your job as a man is to approach women. They're not going to approach you. Okay, what's really needy is the opposite. Trying to you know look all cool and alpha and sit there and wait for the girl basically like on Tinder or on speed dating or in a social circle saying pick me, pick me, look how cool I am that is way more needy than for a few seconds going up to a girl and giving remember a low investment compliment you're not going up and saying you're so beautiful you're the one you're amazing I love you let me take you out what do you follow the compliment up with come on let's see your basic take in knowledge it's a low investment compliment and then you take it back it's called push pull or other pull push you neg her, you tease her, you challenge her, you make fun of her, you bust her balls so that balances the books, that balances the equation. Read a bit of Mystery Method if you want to know about the IOI, IOD ratio but get out in field and test it. Test that idea. Do girls really care that you give them compliment and then tease them? No. It works. They love it. If it didn't work, I I would still be doing indirect game, asking for directions to a train station. Question eight. It says, how do I get out of depression? Well, that's a serious question and I did a podcast. Just Google depression, anxiety, stress, Tom Torero. So I won't go into it now but I sympathize with you, anyone that suffers from not just feeling low low but proper black dog moments and I and I still get them and see them as for me lights on a dashboard. I think I say that in the podcast. Imagine you're driving your car van and you're getting lights on the dashboard saying you know you're low on gas or you got a flat tire or you're low on oil or take it in for a check you know go for your MOT so when you get the depressive symptoms it's reminding you something's up. Something needs to change. So for me, am I being social or am I being too much of a loner? Am I being physical or am I being lethargic? Do I have a project or am I a bum? Yep. Do I have some female affection or am I just, doing too many pump and dumps and getting angry on the internet about all women. Am I eating food that is going to make me feel balanced or am I going on crazy sugar binges? Is my general health okay? Am I sleepy like now? Am I tired? Because that's all gonna begin the depression yeah so just check those things lights on a dashboard obviously if it's very serious go and speak to a doctor because there's depression and then there's clinical depression but listen to that podcast question number nine unique languages mic says what keeps you going I think I answered that question on the van tour summary guys ask me that all the time because now I'm coming up to ten years of doing pickup and it's a bizarre question what What keeps you going? It's like me asking you, well, what keeps you eating nice food? Why do you keep eating every day? Unique languages, Mike. Because food is tasty, food is delicious, food is nourishing. Beautiful women. I love beautiful women. I love the chase. I'm addicted to adventures. So not really the sex. I just love the opposite of settling down. I love everything about settling down. And for me, women are the catalyst. Question 10. SNP underscore EP, catchy name there. He cheekily asks, how tall are you? Well, as I say to girls, I'm above average where it counts. I'm six foot one ish, I think. A hundred and eighty four, hundred and eighty five. His second question says, what is your plan for the next five years as little as possible again see these as shit tests that girls ask you what is my plan I say god this sounds like an interview you know do I get a prize what is my plan daygame, travel, adventures, more freedom? If you're asking me about a wife and kids then the answer is no no will I still be doing daygame? Yes will I be writing about it and making podcasts? I'm not really sure. I did say when I'm 50. I'll stop the channel, but, you should do it for as long as you love it. I'm not gonna stop the daygame, but making content about daygame. Let us see. I'll stop when I when I when I simply don't feel passionate about it anymore but I'll still be chasing girls, I'll still be single, don't you worry. Raj Nish Shah, question 11. He says, how to hook a girl sexually in daygame okay well this could be a theoretical question in that you might be trying to run before you can walk and there are three levels I've said this in another video so depends where you are Rajneesh Shah the first one is learning social awareness. So can you talk to somebody human to human with eye contact, normal conversational skills. The second thing is learning attraction. So can you get the basic hook point of of the flirting, the teasing, the challenging and the icing on the cake, the cherry on the top. Can you generate arousal? So first get the social hook point and then learn the sexual hook point and that's going to be things about your proximity your physicality your eye contact your voice your flirty spikes your sexual vibe your animalistic hungry lion like vibe. You can't just get that as a beginner. That will come through. But first, are you getting the basic hook point? Double check that. Question number 12. How are we doing on time? My word. Almost twenty minutes into it. I'll speed through these. Have you found your results improve or decline after hitting the age of 35? Well, my stats are basically the same. My results are the same, my efficiency is a bit better. When I was 36, I had that very strong year when I was filming Stealth Seduction. And for my fortieth birthday next year, my tenth year in game, 2019. I am gonna be doing a big infield filming project, so hopefully that'll kick me up the arse. I found more IOIs as I've got past 35, but what's really changed is my enthusiasm, my excitement, my drive, my mojo for doing it. Because it no longer gives you the kick once you've done your tenth thousandth skydive, I guess. So it's not approach anxiety, I always say it's approach apathy. I'm like, come on Tom, challenge yourself with a new city or a hotter girl or a different challenge or a project. It's the projects that keep me going as we shall find out next year. 13, Duncan James Taylor says, would be great to see you on the road again, black sheep bandit. Are you planning another tour? Yes, for sure. Black sheep bandit part two season two will be part of this filming project next year with at least six new countries, not cities, but countries. So, yes, I shall be back in the van, one man van, no plan in search of sheep thrills. Question 14, is Scotty. What's the difference between Ukrainian and Russian girls? Basically nothing. So don't worry about that. You're more likely to get stung in Ukraine if you're a beginner because those girls are better hustlers. Right? In Russia, in Moscow, they're rich. They're richer than you. So they're not gonna be impressed by your foreign status, or you flashing your passport or whatever. Just don't stung in Ukraine. Certainly don't do Tinder and online in Ukraine. And this year was the year of Ukraine. So many guys went to Kyiv. I'm not saying they flooded it, but, use your imagination. There are other cities available in Ukraine, and Russia has a lot of cities other than Moscow. Big cities as well. If you wanna know about Russian, Ukrainian daygame, then I wrote a whole bloody book on it called cold calling. Question 15, Skodaks eighty nine. Very romantic name Skodaks eighty nine. How do I train pickup while being in a relationship? Flirt with everyone. I always say break rapport with cashiers in the coffee shop with your mates. Avoid the questions of doom nice guy stuff. And if you're in a relationship, God help you, you should be having options because she does. If you check her WhatsApp or her DMs, she has a lot of options my friend. She might not be acting on them but she does so. Go out and collect phone numbers. You can text girls, you don't need to go out and shag them but have options. Yep. Question 16. How to deal with conservative girls? Well, I forgot who wrote that. I've jotted that question down without saying who asked that. But anyway, common question. And my new book addressed that question. Are there conservative girls? No. It's just the secret society. Right? Good girls are just bad girls who haven't been caught or who haven't yet had chance to act out their deepest darkest 50 shades of grey fantasies. So it's a veil. It's quite literally a veil in The Middle East where I was daygaming this year in Abu Dhabi in Dubai. Japanese girls as well you could say, gosh, they're so quiet and good and sweet and conservative wife material. No. They're some of the naughtiest, they're some of the filthiest when the sun goes down and you get them in isolation. So don't fall for it. Okay? Proceed as normal. Remember, be discreet but read my new book on secret society if you want to know how to get the quote unquote good girls even girls that are engaged and married and and have loving boyfriends question 17 perfect pronunciation sorry if that's you on facebook he said getting women to spend money on you how do you do that sugar mama game I used to be with you there brother it's kind of like a pimp. Yep. So you need great frame, you need great hand. Read the iceberg slim pimp book. It's getting girls to invest in you. So I'm not saying be a pimp, but it's starting small. So get girls to come over bring things cook you things, make you things, take you to certain places, take you to concerts, whatever she's got tickets for. It's that old principle if you do something for someone else, value that person more than if they did something for you. It's a weird principle but it's true and that's the the basics of in investment in sales and in game. Get them to invest. You're talking about rich milfs, divorced women. And when want these kind of women, go and do daygame in the middle of the day, this is one of my dirty tricks, in posh department stores. So in Selfridges, Harvey Nichols, go to posh areas. Where would posh women that don't have to work go? And if you're a younger guy, play it up, you know. Say to her, you're a bad influence, you know. My mom warned me about predatory women I can't even speak to you now I feel like a slave get into the whole cougar thing divorced women but should you be in a relationship with them especially if they have kids avoid avoid avoid but a bit of fun and a bit of luxury a luxury life go for it man that's a proper pimp question 18 Chris Laro on Facebook oh this was an interesting one because it's representative of many guys I think he says what your reaction when you commit to stopping someone in a crowded area and they adamantly go right round you and dismiss you like you're some kind of slut sorry suit salesman in Thailand they almost may or may not be saying fuck off I've yelled okay good talk as she walks away and I've even made eye contact with the nearest disapproving witness and shrugged while mouthing the words women my friend this is reactive this is you can feel the negative vibes even as I read that comment now. Blame yourself. Right? You went up to her. You tried to stop her. And if you're getting a lot of immediate blowouts, it was a bad stop. So learn the front stop, learn the physics of it. Yep. Speed equals distance over time. Don't do fast girls. Perfect your daygame on stationary girls, shops, seated girls, museums, etc. But more important is this issue of this negative vibe about women. No woman in my whole ten years has ever been really angry with me and said fuck off. And if you're getting it repeatedly, it's the way you're approaching them. It's the look on your faces. What you're saying to them. It's what it's the vibe you're bringing. Maybe you're not accepting that rejection is part of the game. Yeah. Proportion of girls every day will be no girls. That's just part of the game. So learn to be Buddha, not just the badass, but have that freedom from outcome, not just the the flame as Mystery says, you've got to have the ghost as well, the cocky smile on your face but you certainly shouldn't be getting mad with girls. The first one to react loses. Do you remember that basic principle of frame? By getting really reactive after a rejection, you're losing immediately. The girl feels weird, you feel weird going into your next one. So just check everything's okay with your your view of the world. Question 19, red pill vegan. How are doing on time? Alright. We'll get there. Question 19 he says is it better to focus on day game or try to split the effort into day game and night game I've answered that one before specialize it's based on your age your personality and your energy levels day gamers are usually quote unquote introverts that are very good one on one. I still don't like big groups. Doing this seminar coming up will tire me. The meetups always tire me. I'm But very good. I'm a learned extrovert with one person. And I like museums. I like book shops. I like cafes. I like being in bed by ten. And I've never met a great day gamer who's also a really active nightgamer. It's one. So choose one and, go for it. Immerse yourself. Question 20. Simpalogies says, what's the future of daygame and the London daygame model? Well, it's as old as time. The Mystery Method is just, the truths of evolutionary biology on paper. So it's like saying, what's the future of eating? Or what's the future of the human digestive system? It's gonna basically stay the same. Of course, there's different foods and different flavors and there's different flavors of gain, but how girls and guys interact during the day will stay the same. That's why I say to guys, don't get your knickers in a twist about social events. Right? Girls and guys, how they date and fuck. Well, specifically how they fuck and make babies. It will it will be the same. Certainly long after you're dead. Question 21 from Moan. He's asked me this before I recognize this question how to sort out logistics as a mid twenties guy to pull especially if he's still living with family members so I guess this is a question about you you're living with family members number you're not drinking much so I guess you don't drink much and question three motel spikes motel tells me that you're in America we wouldn't say motel in The UK I like it though I that word it sounds very seedy okay so he's saying motel spike ASD the anti slut defense what reason to give to pull to a motel he says he always says we go and listen to some music and rest. Alright, other podcasts and lots of other videos have addressed logistics, right? So if you can't take it to yours, first of all you try to go to hers and I tell you how to seed that in Street Hustle, you know, by checking who she lives with, her flatmates, does she have to get up in the morning, is it far, what you're going to go and do at hers, you're to go and check out that video or see her cat or you're gonna walk her back to hers and surprise surprise you're then gonna need the toilet you're gonna say can I come in for a pee have a quick coffee charge my phone etc if you can't do that I've made a podcast with a guy called Tom on public places and I think the podcast was romantically titled how to have sex in a park or how to get laid in a park? And Tom lived with his parents so he had to come up to London and fuck girls in parks. Spoken about and I've got audio in fields from fucking girls in toilets in London so being brave and pulling to toilets you could pull to a beach you could pull to a car and if you're doing the motel thing okay you lead you have a minibar ready you're you've told the motel that your girlfriend's arriving later so they don't cock block etc etc and you take her in to charge your phone watch something Netflix have your laptop there have music have a reason to go back that's all seated if you don't drink common question do the whole PUA cocktail thing of you buy her alcohol because that's fine that's part of the mating dance and you have a glass of water with ice and lemon it's a PUA cocktail it costs you nothing from the barman and she'll never ask you she just assumes it's whatever a vodka mix yeah if it's her turn to buy the drinks you could say look, I'm not going to drink much because tomorrow I'm running a triathlon. I'm doing an iron man. Whatever. Just don't make a big deal out of it. Don't let these be excuses. I recognize that name and I recognise your questions so you seem to be obsessed with logistics don't let them be limiting beliefs excuses because there are guys out there in your situation who are making the best of their situation by the things I've just said. Okay? Question 22. This podcast will run over time but I'll do three more questions. Daniel Pat I've been reading recently that scientifically dominance is considered one of the most attractive male traits. You are right, Daniel. How can we daygamers display dominance during the initial interaction? Well, as the saying goes, men attracted to beauty, women are attracted to power. So you're right. But how do you display power in your daygame? Well, everything about going up to a girl you don't know and complimenting her and busting her balls and getting her phone number. That is all a massive display of power, especially in this day and age of Tinder and hiding behind online dating. So you've stopped her. You've gone direct. It's in your voice. It's in the fact that you're treating her like a bratty kid. Yeah. You're leading. You do a mini bounce. You pass her shit tests. You eye date her. You same day lay her. That is all massive dominance and meta frame. Frame so if you're doing it right girls just go wow a lot of girls even say wow that was impressive you have balls and I say thank you very much I will show you them later question 23 from 1595 how to find out in a smart way the real intentions of a flirtatious girl good question asked a lot so a girl's texting you or you know leading you on or she's even at work in your social circle she's flirting with you. How do you know it's real? Well don't listen to her words listen to her actions or rather inactions. Okay so the best test in a seducer's arsenal is compliance is she compliant so rather than just blah blah blah the salesman says to the customer okay we'll come and show me the cash sign on the line when can you pick up the car and the customer says oh I don't know I might call you next week I'm gonna ask my wife and that's not compliance so you ask her to sign on the dotted line by saying come out let's go on a date come and sit here come back to mine if it's going beyond three dates she's a time waster she's leading you on she's enjoying your attention so test for compliance and the final question for today I chose this because this was all over the questions guys asking about tinder and guys asking about online dating I certainly got a lot of questions about this through email Rahab DG says why not supplement daygame with online and tinder especially as I do in the winter? Well again it's slightly the wrong channel this is the wrong podcast and I'm the wrong guy to ask because there are guys that specialize in Tinder and online and night game but I enjoy the hunt during the day. It's a bit like asking a guy who enjoys cooking. Let's say I was a chef and I love growing the food preparing it and making it and cooking it and eating it. You could say to that chef, well, why mate, why didn't you just go to McDonald's? You know, get like a 99 p cheeseburger. Okay. You could. It's food, but I love daygame more than the sex. I love the adrenaline. I love the adventure. I love the travel. And one cold approach most importantly will put more hairs on your chest, will grow your balls my friend, more than a thousand, more than 10,000 tinder swipes or more than 10,000 emails that you just copy paste. Actually, tinder, I argue, online sends you backwards in terms of your confidence, in terms of your social skills, in terms importantly of your self worth. Because you're sitting there, as I said before saying pick me, pick me, trying to show them better pictures of you flexing, you know, with your watch and your muscles. Pick me, I'm good enough. Where is cold approach? Pick up, where is the hunter? Where is the lion? Says I'm not gonna wait to be picked, I'm gonna go and fucking choose. Be the chooser and not the chosen. We shall finish it there. It's gone over time. Next week, I'll be back in Russia. So, cold calling quite literally. I'll be shivering in the thermals down in vodka as these girls flake. Alright. That was podcast engine 74QA. Goodbye from Tom Torero.