---
title: Episode 175 Pulling The Trigger
episode_number: 175
era: late
source_file: Episode 175 Pulling The Trigger.mp3
audio_size_mb: 56.5
duration_sec: 1851.6
duration_min: 30.9
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:07:59Z---

# Episode 175 Pulling The Trigger

**Speaker 0:** Maybe you should pull the fucking trigger. Precisely. I couldn't have said it better myself. That was it. The end of the podcast. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I kid you one more thing before you go. I better do the podcast episode because you've kindly tuned in. This is the Tom Torero podcast episode, a 175 on, yes, pulling the trigger, PNV, endgame escalation. Thank you for listening on iTunes. Thank you for watching on YouTube. And this episode is being recorded in Russia for the final time this year, my final daygame trip, not to do any daygame. In fact, I've not opened any gills, but the idea has been to close, to pull the trigger, not to kill gills but to close the loops that I opened in October. So I was just in Moscow and I closed a long game lead successfully from October. And now, today, I took the train here to Saint Petersburg where I'm attempting to close a lead that I met in May or perhaps June. I was here with Baxter and Mystery in the boiling hot. Now I'm in the freezing cold and pray for me. Pray to the daygame gods that tonight I can successfully once again pull the trigger and then back to The UK and I think no more daygame trips this year. I don't know. But, anyway, what else? I've just pressed publish on my blog a little bit prematurely you could say a article about Christmas pings, audio photo pings, text pings. You could turn them into audio pings for texting girls during this flirty, filthy, festive period. It's already in full swing here in Russia with lights and Christmas trees and it feels very wintery. It was minus 14 degrees centigrade in Moscow. So the Christmas market there certainly felt like the real bloody deal. But anyway, I digress. Go to the blog if you want some free festive Christmas ping ideas, accusational pings, talking about Issue on Santa's naughty list, little elf ideas. Take from it what you want. Alright. Today's topic is something I covered in one of my first ever videos in 2014 on my current YouTube channel. I had a Oh, I was part of a YouTube channel before that but in 2014, I started my own. And one of the first videos on there is called pull the trigger and it's about this leap of faith moment that scares the hell out of guys far more than approach anxiety or running out of things to say or texting or even escalating on a date. This is when you've walked from the venue to yours and don't let any guy tell you that that's not scary because it always is. So much is riding on it for her to ride you. If she's hot like tonight, you've made this investment. You've made this effort with your daygame and your texting. And I've had a first date with this girl way back in whenever it was May with Mystery. I remember he popped in and to give me a bit of a what does he call it? A drive by DHV. So thank you for Mystery to Mystery for helping this one. So I've done all that investment and then I'm on the second date with her tonight. I've walked her back to here hopefully. She's then on your sofa. You've taken her from the sofa to the bed where I'm lying now and recording this podcast and you're thinking, is this gonna be successful or is this whole thing gonna crash and burn? Is the window of opportunity gonna close perhaps forever? So it's a very very fine line. I get it. Yep. And it's the paradox of the whole situation that we shall dwell upon today as well as the tools and the techniques. But the paradox of seduction is you're trying a bloody seducer. That's the whole point. Don't let anyone tell you it's just self development or self actualization. No. You want a nobber. You want to put your p in her v consensually, of course, when we talk about pulling the trigger. And you've got to at the same time appear like you're not seducing her because she wants you to escalate. This is a dance. It takes two to tango, remember? When you hear terms like last minute resistance, that's why I phrase it as token last minute resistance because she wants you to escalate, but she also wants to see that you're not a needy little boy, that there's some restraint, I. E. The biology behind all that is that you have options. You're not desperate. So, you want to but you don't need to. That's the paradox of seduction and when you're pulling the trigger, it's got to be smooth, it's got to be calibrated, it's got to be fast enough that you succeed but not too fast that you cross the point of no return too quickly. She, she disappears into the night. You're there with your dick in your hand, blue balls, and what's it all been for? And don't let any guy say he's not disappointed when that happens because yeah, you've put in all that work with a approaching her, b texting her, c date dating her and, getting her to your apartment, getting the logistics ready, getting the bounce back booze ready, ready, getting the music ready, getting all that ready and nothing happens. It's painful. Far more painful than approach anxiety and girls flaking on dates. Always makes me chuckle. I always say this when guys are worried about approaching a girl or texting a girl or going on a date with a girl, little did they know that the suffering really comes if you've had many girls in that month or over the year or over the many years of doing day game when they're near misses. When you've had her on the bed, you've been fooling around, some clothes have come off but you didn't get the lay. And perhaps you don't see her again. So there you go. It is a it is a tricky topic. It's gonna require some visualization today because me making a video about getting your kit off and doing all these tools and techniques, I don't think YouTube would like it. Anyway, first analogy of the podcast. Think of the the plane taxiing from its bay in the airport onto the runway cleared for takeoff by air traffic control and then the plane starts accelerating down the runway. You can feel it. Yeah. It feels good, doesn't it? And there's that point, there's that critical point when the pilot, when the captain has to commit to taking off. A, because of the speed and b, because of, I guess, the runway length. I'm not a pilot quite clearly, but he can't abort. He could go up and turn around and somehow land, but he can't put on the brakes. It would be very very dangerous. Well, that's what it's like with pulling the trigger. That's why it's called pull the trigger because you're escalating, escalating escalating then there's that line that line that you know that if you cross it now, if you're heating things up, it could seal the deal, it could go well. You've heard me talking about buying temperature. So this could be a beautiful takeoff or you could be too hasty, you've lacked comfort, maybe her ASD, her anti slut defense kicks in, you're not escalating smoothly and you don't get the notch and fire bore. So think about that plane taking off, think about that moment of truth, that critical moment and that window of opportunity. I've got a video on YouTube about buying temperature. So you're heating a girl up through verbal escalation and physical escalation and then you're you've decided that, okay, this is the magic point to go for it. I was chatting the other day to one of the guys that won one of the black sheep awards. I think it's Tom. Yes, it was Tom. That's on the blog his successful black sheep mission where he was coming into London and eventually he got a notch. And anyway, we were talking about the dates where he didn't get a notch And bear in mind his logistics aren't good. He lives about an hour outside London. And he was going on dates and instant dates in Central London and heating girls up, make outs, physical escalation, escalation and then saying good night and being puzzled why those girls wouldn't text him back. It is puzzling to the guy who's going after make outs, to the guy who's trying to get reference experiences and I'm not knocking it. It's fine if you haven't been used to physically escalating and being brave enough to go for the makeouts. But I what I said to Tom is what I say to you. Be very careful with buying temperature because if the customer's not gonna sign on the dotted line that day, if you can't close the deal that day, you've got to ask yourself what's the point. So I said to Tom, really be careful of where you're doing the escalating. Have you got isolation nearby? Have you got the Airbnb? Have you got your place? Are you going to go to her place? Have you got your eye on a park on a toilet? Have you got a van like filthy Tom Torero? Yep. Where you're gonna seal the deal because otherwise, what's the point of boiling the water if you're not gonna use it for the cooking there and then it just evaporates. You get the analogies? You get the plane taking off. What's the point if you're then gonna slam on the brakes and the plane is gonna burst into a fireball. So that's to bear in mind. You need isolation. Isolation, I call it, is one of the pillars of escalation. I've made a video on that too. A is verbal escalation, b is physical escalation, but c is you could say proximity escalation. So, do you even need to kiss her? No. If you're an intermediate advanced day gamer, you you probably know that I don't generally now kiss girls. I certainly don't kiss them on the street. I don't kiss them on instant dates anymore. I don't even kiss them on dates because in my head, I'm thinking get her back to your place. And if you know about daygame logistics, you'll know that your date venue or your second date venue is near your place. So I'm always thinking, it doesn't really matter about the kiss. I go for the old drive by kiss as I call it, you know, whispering into her ear, getting close to her face where I could kiss her and she knows it and I know it, but you don't. Keep the sexual tension, walk back to your place to play the guitar, smoke shisha, see the cat doing backflips, the view of the Himalayas from your apartment, whatever it is in your apartment, the laptop with the film, with the music, with the Netflix. That's what I want. I want isolation. Yep. Now, you got to think from here on in, two are on the sofa, the music's on, the lights are dimmed, the playlist is ready, the bounce back alcohol for plausible deniability, not for getting drunk but just for plausible deniability in her head. That's ready. Everything is ready. Now, again, this paradox of being persistent, I. E escalating, but not being needy. This is such a tricky fine line and I often get it wrong. This year I've, I don't underestimate anymore obviously but like I moaned about last year, this year it's happened again just because I am traveling so I often have a time limit like tonight. Often, I'm impatient. I'm arrogant. I'm thinking, come on. I should be able to do this forgetting often that I'm in Russia that this has been a really fast seduction. Maybe from boredom where you're thinking, let's just get this bloody notch. But I've burned good leads by going too quickly. In Estonia this year, in the Baltics, in Riga, there was a girl quite recently in London where this happened. There were two girls earlier on in The Middle East this year. There were two girls in Japan that you might have heard of in the podcast. There were two in Moscow on the October mission. All these girls were if I had just been more patient and perhaps stopped before that point of no return. So I hadn't gone full throttle down the runway but maybe I had had another date or I had spaced it out or I had calmed my horniness down in a more rapport. With me it's just wanting to skip the rapport phase. It's the opposite of the beginner nice guy. I do basically no nice guy stuff. I reek of being a player. Girls are constantly calling me out for being a player. I've made a YouTube video on that. How to to try and hide the fact that you're a player. Oh, the irony. That back in the old days I I wanted to show girls that I was a player but now itself will create more token LMR, more of her anti slut defense, it will create problems. So either through lack of comfort or the fear of judgment, that is what anti slut defense is or okay, sometimes girls are just cock teases and perhaps two girls this year. Even if I had had another day or slowed it down, they're just professional cock teases. They like teasing men. I know that's not me moaning at all girls but over the course of the year, if you're going on ten, twenty, thirty, forty, 50 dates, you'll find a few girls that like to play games. And with that, it's the royal flush technique and bye bye. But by and large, I blame myself. Okay? The girl is your mirror. I listen to the feedback. And, yeah, I'm over pulling. So the dangers of fast escalation. I've made a podcast on just that very topic, the myth of fast escalation. Why it sounds so fucking cool and all the best lay reports are just, yeah, I banged you in six minutes. We all wanna do it because that's how guys think, but this it's so risky, in terms of generating all the things that I just spoke about. So let's pretend that Tom listens to his own advice and does everything perfectly and smoothly every single time as smooth as a Russian girl's lady garden without any bush unlike in Japan. What you need to do? I've said you need to do it in isolation. Yep. That's the first thing to think about. Are you in isolation to pull the trigger? Secondly, it's gonna be two steps forward, one step back. So I used to say it's badass and Buddha. It's off and on. It's fractionated. So you're not just going on on on on on on on. You are giving it breathing space. That's what calibration means. That's a smooth escalation. To push or to pull, the seducer should always be thinking that in his head. As you get better, you'll be doing it subconsciously. I call that clutch control. Remember when you learn to drive and you were freaking out. This is if you live in Europe or The UK. With the combination of the gear and the brake and the clutch, it's all fucking confusing in the beginning. But after a few months and certainly after a couple of years, it's all on autopilot. So a good seducer should be like that. Am I pulling? Escalating or am I pushing? Am I giving it some breathing space? Am I letting her complete the distance come to me and think? That's the trick. Think she's escalating on me. Yeah? I've said before game is calibrated intent. I shall say that again. Game, if you boil it down, is just calibrated intent. I wanting her but not needing her. Yeah? Proportionality. That should be spoken about more. I could do a whole podcast. I could do a whole talk on proportionality. Is that even a word? The more I say that word right now, I'm doubting it is proportionality. I think so. The I. E. The gray areas. So to a beginner you just say do this, do this, try for this because girls are like this. Whereas the advanced guy knows it's a mixture of on and off and certain techniques in certain amounts. That's the three d aspect of the model. Yeah. Because do I need a bit more comfort here or is it time for a bit more seduction? Oh, bit more comfort actually is too boring. A bit more attraction, spike it Okay. Back to seduction, seduction, seduction. Wait. Okay. A bit more comfort. That's clutch control. Two steps forward, one step back. And I'll practically come on to that in a second. But basically, you should be pulling away before she does to get that, what do they call it in sales, frictionless sales, a frictionless checkout as the nerds say with online sales. Number three, following on from that, you're verbally calling out any token LMR lines before she does. So my elephant in the room thing, often say to girls just as I feel she might be about to say this even though she's coming into the apartment. I say, Torero, this is crazy, you know. You're not gonna steal my stuff for you. Can I trust you? You're not gonna kill me, steal my kidneys. Listen, if you do kill me, tell my mom I love her. That's all you need to do. And then she's apartment and I might say to her, this is crazy how I met you, you know. This is so fast. This is so weird. I normally meet people in my social circle, friends of friends. I can't believe I met you on the street. And a little dig, I say, can't believe you stopped me on the street, you pervert, you know. And then a bit more seriously, when you're making out on the sofa when she's on the bed, you can stop the kissing and you can say this is this is crazy, you know. Maybe we should watch more of the movie, etcetera. So it's a technique but it's a principle. Number four, seed the fact you're gonna see her again. And no, I don't mean say that you're gonna propose to her and take her to The Bahamas, but just reduce the anti slut defense by seeding in a future thing you're gonna do even if it's just cooking her pasta. Right? Pasta and frozen veggies I was doing in Moscow. Tom's culinary skills. But you say, you know, whatever you weave it in. Oh, next time we'll watch that thing that you were just saying. Or next time I'll teach you a bit of guitar if you So just in her head, she's got that idea of next time. And even the fuck buddy relationship, the casual thing that players and daygamers should be doing, you need to show a girl that it's not just a one off. Even though in her forebrain, she might like the fact that it's a one off, her hindbrain because she's a girl, she needs to think that there's a repeat bang. You're gonna see her again. It's not just a literal pump and dump. So that's another technique, but it's a principle. And number five, coming up to that point of no return where look, it's in the bag but just not tonight and an experienced daygamer will know this because she's on the rag and some girls are into it but perhaps she's not. She hasn't shaved down there. She's got to get up early. Whatever. You just know the difference between a girl who's enjoying the dance and a girl who's saying to you next time, next time we'll do it next time. So you don't go past that point of no return. Otherwise, she'll see you as that needy, overly hungry, overly horny guy. And what does that tell her on a biological subconscious level? That you don't have many girls in your life, that you're desperate for sex, you're desperate for the lay. And she doesn't know why, but she won't want to see you again. She won't text you back. She'll just think, god, he was a bit horny, he was a bit on, etcetera, etcetera. Okay. Practical techniques other than as I've said, the music's ready, the lighting is ready, mood lighting. The alcohol is ready for the excuse. The time of the day is right. Often you guys are trying to escalate a lunchtime or mid afternoon after a Starbucks coffee. And okay, if she's a milf or she's got a boyfriend and you've got to play that game of secret society quick sex at weird times of the day based on her schedule. Okay, you can try for this stuff at 3PM in the afternoon but obviously the late of the date and tonight's date is at 08:30 Russian time so that bodes well. If a girl says, look, can we meet at 10PM? Bloody hell, that really bodes well. Just because it's a principle as old as time a bit like wine and seduction. It's the night and seduction. Okay? And the jazz music's on. Recently, I've been using Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald. The snow was falling outside in Moscow. The bottle of red wine was there. Lights nice and low and it just feels right. So it's the time of the day. What does Tom Torero do? What will I try and do tonight? Well, when she comes in, you don't jump on her. You give her breathing space. She chooses something on the laptop, maybe she doesn't like my wonderful Louis Armstrong collection. The shoes are off, the coat is off, you pour the wine, you back off. She can leave at any time, you go to the bathroom, you chill out. So that's the one step back before even the two steps forward. Alright. Nice and smooth. Then a little make out on the sofa, cuddling, hugging is actually better as Mystery says than the make out anyway. It floods her body with oxytocin. You don't want too much oxytocin otherwise she'll fall in love with you. That's why I say she doesn't sleep over. If you're a player and it's the fuck buddy dynamic. But I digress. You're playing with each other's hands, you're stroking her hair, you're watching the movie or pretending to watch the movie and I point to my crotch and I say, oh my god, I can't stand up. Look at what you're doing to me. You make her aware that you're turned on. Yep. Then you pull away from the makeup first, more fractionation, and then back to heavy makeup, then more cuddling. And at this point, I usually say, oh, you know, I've got a dead leg. Well, this is not comfortable. And you just lead her with your hand or if she's a petite girl, I pick them up with a laptop and you go to your bed. It's even better if the apartment's small rather than palatial. Where I am now is very small. So from the sofa to the bed is about two meters. Absolutely perfect. Open plan bachelor apartment. And then you're on the bed and again you're not jumping on top of each other, going straight into sex, you're watching or pretending to watch a bit more of the film or listening to the music, talking, cuddling, hugging. I say to girls which is a true fact, you know, humans need eight to ten minutes of hugging a day as a healthy thing, you know. Kids hug their parents, but why do adults stop hugging? Isn't it weird? Come here. Let's have a hug. She loves it. You love it. It feels good. Maybe a massage. And then the fault of many guys is that they try taking off the girl's jumper and her socks and her jeans and all her layers one by one. And what does that do? That just creates a no ladder where the girl's thinking, he's so needy. This is like wrestling now. No, no, no, no, no. Far easier as I've said in many seminars going way way back is to not try and take off any clothes at all. So you're thinking, well, how do you P and V? How do you actually pull the trigger? Well, as I'm making out, I put one of my knees between her legs and it doesn't matter even if she's wearing jeans, even though skinny jeans are the the nightmare for a seducer, a skirt or a dress is obviously easy. But you just put pressure between her legs with your knee and as you're making out, you do it harder and harder. You might be pulling her hair now, you might be whispering into her ear, I kiss her neck, and then you back off. Remember, it's all calibrated, it's a dance. And then the big move, the famous Torero, move or actually a step before that is just to take her hand and again say, oh my god, you make me so horny or you say, you make me so big or you make me so hard, whatever. Or say nothing, you just put her hand over your jeans on your crotch. She might leave it there for a few seconds, she might take it off, she might leave it there, it might now go from zero to a 100 in which case skip all the other steps and go for p and v. But often there's a little bit more to do. So more of a heavy make out, maybe playing over each other's clothes and then the move g y d o. Sounds weird, but it works. Trust me, it works. Get your dick out. There's a biological reason for this that I talk about in below the belt, why gills are aroused by seeing you aroused. Why that's healthy and natural and horny. And why you own it. Why you're not ashamed about being turned on. And believe you me, once her hand is down there, this is when I think, okay, let's go for it. So I put my hand down her jeans or under her tights or if she's not wearing any tights and it's the middle of the summer, hallelujah. And you just go for it. So you're fingering her, she's got her hand on your dick and from there on in sex is 99.99% likely. I missed out a cheeky thing. I was just thinking about this what I did with the girl the other night. Let's go back before her hand is down there and your hand is down there. A real human bonding thing is to let her feel your stomach on her stomach. So what you do, what I do is I just lift up my t shirt, lift up my jumper, lift up my shirt without taking clothes off and also at the same time slightly lift up her t shirt or jumper or top or whatever. So just where your belly button is that's touching hers as you're hugging. And girls don't often feel that obviously unless they're sleeping with a guy, with their boyfriend. So immediately I find that helps. Same as squeezing underneath her hair just at the top of her neck or kissing her ear. These things drive girls crazy. Some girls, especially Japanese girls I find, if you kiss their boobs or if you kiss their nipples they go nuts. I've heard many guys say this about Japanese girls but it works. If you can do that, do that. But anyway, your hands down there, her hand is down there, it's a home run, you're pulling the trigger and now let's say like what happened in Moscow the other night. You've got that far but she's saying look next time or we need to slow down, I'm not that kind of girl, I normally do this. Two things and I used both of these things in Moscow the other night. First of all is the sleep over trick. Alright? And I talk about this in seminars and street hustle where you stop escalating and you say, okay, well we'll go to sleep, we'll finish the movie, you know, she had the metro had stopped anyway. So you she said, I don't have clothes to change into. So you give her a t shirt. She's in her underwear or her bras come off so it's just a t shirt and panties. Then you snooze or you pretend to snooze for twenty minutes or so and you either then have sex which is what happened the other day or you have sex early the next morning because you're just in your boxer shorts and it's hot and heavy and girl sleeping in your bed and cuddling all night. It just happens. Or or or plus which is actually what happened last time a step back before she said she was gonna sleep over. She was actually kind of putting on her coat and saying okay, I'll go to the metro and I did a bit of the old push away. I did a bit of the old royal flush. I didn't go crazy. I didn't put my foot down. I didn't give her a talking to but I just went a bit cold. I rolled off and I said right, okay. Well, I'm going to Saint Petersburg, know, in a few days time then I'm going back to London. I don't know when I'm gonna be in Moscow again but anyway, let's go to the tube. And she was bluffing and I kind of caught her out. So once her coat was on, I could see she didn't really want to go so we made out again and that's when she said, okay, I'll stay over if you've got a t shirt. So you can use that move. But again, it's risky because she could have left, with the sleeping over thing. She might just sleep over. So I'm not saying all these things will cause a plus one, a notch, a bang, a lay but from my experience, if you can get that down over and over and over and over again, you stand the best chance. Do you always get the lane? No. Will you finish with blue balls? A lot of the time, yes. And any guy that says he always gets laid well either he's shooting well below what he should be going for, you know, very basic girls off Tinder. Or he's he's conveniently forgetting all the painful stories of the year. And if you want lots of painful stories, then my new book, here's the plug for today. Below the belt secret society seductions. It's got loads of disasters in it as has my guide to Russia and former Soviet Union daygame, which is called cold calling. Lots of failures here in this very city and in Moscow. Russian girls are the ultimate test of smooth escalation, keeping your calm when you pull the trigger. But with that, we come to half an hour. That was podcast a 175. I'll have a shit shower shave and then think of me by the time this podcast goes out perhaps I will already know if it was another notch or not but thank you for listening next week I shall be back in Blighty until then that's for Daniel you should pull the fucking trigger