---
title: Episode 179 Daygame Diagnosis (Nice Guy Trap)
episode_number: 179
era: late
source_file: Episode 179 Daygame Diagnosis (Nice Guy Trap).mp3
audio_size_mb: 52.4
duration_sec: 1717.6
duration_min: 28.6
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:08:52Z---

# Episode 179 Daygame Diagnosis (Nice Guy Trap)

**Speaker 0:** Thomas

**Speaker 1:** Dorero, daygame podcast episode a 179 from Russia. Privyat, where really it is cold calling minus 11 degrees centigrade. So frozen bollocks, but the hustling is all inside because my camera gear was freezing up. I was freezing up. Anything below zero, it's very hard for batteries. Even your phone dies as you step outside, let alone your mind. You can't think in minus 11 degrees centigrade. So I'm hustling inside shopping centers, cafes, stores and life goes on here. Hot girls are out, people are going to work, they're used to this, alright. It's certainly, a country of the brave, a country of the strong. So I'm enjoying the mission but it's not about me today, it's the first of our daygame diagnosis sessions. So I asked daygamers around the world who don't do this for a full time job to send me m p three files of them in field. And I got many. I actually got too many. I was very very impressed. I take back what I said about too many keyboard PUAs perhaps. I got over 30 files sent to me. So I'm gonna say no more for now. Stop. I've got enough for the rest of the year, for the rest of 2019. So thank you, but no thank you. I've got loads. Some, were too quiet. Some were too muffled. Some were in weird file formats, so not m p threes. Some cheeky bastards sent me their whole collections and said, you sift through these and see what you think? No. Just send me one. A typical one of you like the guys today. And some guys wanted detailed free email feedback with lots of questions and they sent me their stats and stuff. I can't do that. This is just for the podcast. So I'll break it down on the podcast for your benefit and most importantly for everybody else listening who probably makes the same mistakes. And the theme of today is the nice guy traps. In particular, the problem of how to spark attraction rather than comfort. How to vibe rather than be mister interviewer and how to break rapport rather than make rapport as the nice guy does today. The m p three comes from Canada, where I guess it's equally as cold perhaps as mother Russia. And this is from mister balls. What a great daygame name. Mister balls is new to the game, so I admire your balls. Forgive me if this sounds harsh today, all the criticism that I did or rather all the unpicking of your m p three, But you got to be cool to be kind. You know, I could say, yeah, this sounds fine but there's things that you can improve on immediately. Alright. You've said you you've been in an open marriage for over decade. So fair play to you, my friend, for going out there in the winter, getting stuck in to get stuck in further down the line. In your email to me with the m p three, you asked about going for same delays and all that stuff, but I say no. Don't run before you can walk. I'm not sounding patronizing, but go right back to the beginning. I want you, as I say in the interact in the, analysis to just perfect the first two minutes. Learn the basics of the daygame structure. Learn the basics of what is attraction, verbal attraction. And, without further ado, we are gonna dive into the m p three from mister balls. Enjoy.

**Speaker 2:** Excuse me. Hi. Wow. I saw you over there and I was like surprised how attractive you are. So I wanted to come say hello. I thought maybe my friend would. Nice, mister balls. It sounds genuine.

**Speaker 1:** There is enthusiasm in your voice, you don't sound robotic and it's a very clever push pull kind of opener that you were surprised how attractive this girl is. You're talking clearly,

**Speaker 2:** your voice is pretty low and slow, so so far so good. Take my man guard away if I didn't at least come investigate this.

**Speaker 1:** I find it funny. I understand the the wing thing and the I'm investigate this and if I don't, he's gonna call me a pussy, but you're speaking pretty rapid fire like Tom Torero does on a podcast. And that bit's not needed. It can sound a bit canned. The old one used to be, I'd be kicking myself if I didn't come and say hello. And look, you've given her the compliment. I say to students, don't pause. This is the bit where you've got to run into the stack. So tell her why, specifically why. Let's see if you do it.

**Speaker 2:** My name is Jeff. You look

**Speaker 1:** Okay. Giving your name there, I wouldn't do. Save your name till after the hook point or as a desperate measure to get the hook point when you put out your hand, the marathon and move. Don't do it here because this is the gold. We are in the attraction phase, not the comfort building phase. Giving someone your name is classic comfort. It's a very office American kind of thing to do like giving someone your business credentials or card. So, does it get in the way? Do you stack? Let us hear.

**Speaker 2:** I'm gonna say, Andy? Yeah. Yeah. You look Japanese, are you?

**Speaker 1:** Okay. There's the stack, but it's the most basic form of a daygame stack when you said you look Japanese. You don't really need the follow-up question, are you? So, okay. Nothing wrong with that as a very basic geography stack. You look Japanese, but tell her why. So I can't see this girl. This is an infield audio, but I just had to say I think you look really nice. What I noticed is you look very Japanese because of your petiteness. I could put you in my pocket like Hello Kitty and your hair and your exotic cat like eyes. Am I right or am I right? So I do do that little prompt at the end often of the stack. Am I right? Tell me more. What's the story? But we're not trying to really guess, this is the thing where guys beginners get confused. But Tom, you said guess the geography. You are Swedish, you are German, you are Japanese, the idea is attraction. So yeah, take the geography, you look Japanese but make it into this little playful gambit. Let's see if she's Japanese and if she responds to that mini stack. No, I'm not. I'm Mexican actually. Okay. There's the topic. So if I was listening to you live, mister balls, and you had the microphone and I had the wireless earpiece, that's the moment, that's the information I'm looking for and you'd come back to me and I'd say to you, what was the topic? And you would say, Mexico. So, the stack kind of worked because you got free information from her. The topic, it's a nice juicy topic. It's Mexico. So, we go from stacking to vibing where it's the mister balls show or if I was doing it, it'd be the Tom Torero show. And hopefully, you don't pause after this. I would go straight into my performance, my improvisational spiel, my bullshit baffles brains. Diarrhea, pimp, million dollar mouthpiece of just spurting out attraction material about Mexico. Let's see what happens.

**Speaker 2:** Oh, yeah. The red lips and the dark were signaling Japanese. What part of Mexico? I lived there for six months. Wow.

**Speaker 1:** Wow. Okay. Some tough love. You did what every beginner daygamer does and what every other guy does who doesn't know about pickup. She gave you information and your brain said, build rapport. It's a classic American thing to do anyway. Be nice. Build the bridge of comfort. And how do we do that? Let's ask her a question. Asking questions takes value. It doesn't display anything about you. Your wit, your intelligence, your joie de vivre, your spontaneity. So, what part of Mexico are you from? And even worse I would say, it's trying to build rapport by saying, oh, I love Mexico. I used to live there. I know so much about it. We should get married. We've got so much in common. We could be best friends forever. No. So at this point, you need the improvisational skill of taking the topic and running with it. So close your eyes, think of Mexico, everybody listening to the podcast. Three, two, one, go. When I think of Mexico, I think of and just let your brain run free. No, not serious, not talking about population size or what you factually know about the rivers and geography of Mexico. No, don't talk about current politics or religion, keep it fun and flirty. Even a little bit stereotypically negging where you kind of make fun of Mexico but with that warm glow saying, oh, you know, it's cute, I like it, you look very nice, you're very beautiful. But when I think of Mexico, well, you can use the magic springboard line, oh, my friend has just come back from Mexico and he said, obviously, you know, great weather, Jesus, he came back so tan from Cancun, food, although not always agreeing with his stomach, but what he did say about the girls was, I hope you're not one of these girls or remember that story, that cheesy story I give students. He was in a bar first night actually wanting to unwind to switch off just leaning against the bar. Two local Mexican girls approached him. He thought this is bloody dodgy, you know, but they were buying him beers and they were buying him shots. Long story short, he woke up in a park or he woke up on the beach two hours later, no pants you know, no watch on, whatever. I know it's a canned cheesy story but this is the performance. Daygame is an improvisational performance. So, it's you mister balls displaying more than your gym physique, if you have one or your nice fashion, if you have that. It's you displaying your personality. And the only way to do that, I'm ranting here because this is the most important bit of daygame, is to vibe on the topic she gives.

**Speaker 2:** Will mister bull save it? Let's carry on. Okay. I lived have you been to Boca De Tamilan? It's kinda close to there by Port Of Ayrta. Right? Okay.

**Speaker 1:** So if if this was two dudes talking, you and me, mister Bulls, this is interesting, you know. What about this city? What about this road? How far is it from the airport to here? To a girl, this is anti flirtation. This is the death of her being attracted to you. So stop talking about logical facts.

**Speaker 2:** Yeah. Guadalajara is a big city. Right? 3,000,000? Yeah. It's very busy.

**Speaker 1:** Maybe you're a geography teacher, mister Bulls. Yeah.

**Speaker 2:** I know a girl from Mexico.

**Speaker 1:** This is sounding better.

**Speaker 2:** But, she is a massive partier. Is that you?

**Speaker 1:** Okay. So I like the push. I like that's the first spike you've used. But remember it's push and pull or rather pull and push. So so you don't offend her, wrap it up. I say, oh, I got a Mexican friend. She's very beautiful like you. She's very quirky. She's very creative like you. But when the sun goes down, she's quite a party girl. That's not you, is it? You know? My mom said, Tom, be careful of Mexican girls, etcetera etcetera. So don't just do harsh negs.

**Speaker 2:** You seem like you have your shit together a little bit. Not really. No? What's your deal? I'm guessing fashion just by the way you're dressed.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. So you've jumped topics which again is a classic beginner thing. So you had the juicy first topic which was actually the better one of Mexico, an improvisational comedian daygamer could have spoken about Mexico for an hour. But you your brain ran out of things which is normal because you're asking questions and talking about facts and then you said fuck, switch to the second thing. You look creative, I guess you're in fashion. So now you're restacking. You've gone all the way back to the beginning. Stacking about what she does or what she studies. Let's see if she bites on this.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, well, actually, not at all. No. I'm like that vegan hippie girl.

**Speaker 2:** Oh, no. I like meat way too much.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. Great. At least she's playing along here. She likes this that she is saying she's a vegan hippie girl, I think, which is fantastic ammunition, you know, stuff to hold against her and make fun of her. So you can vibe now on vegan and hippies and talk about whole foods and talk about Ayahuasca, but not in a serious way. Again, you wanna say, I have a friend who, she's very hot but she's one of these Instagram vegan yoga girls, you know. I think it's just so she can show off her ass but You gotta talk mister balls. I shouldn't even be hearing this girl talk from from here on in for a few minutes. You've got to display your value. Yep. This is the hardest bit of daygame. This is what requires practice.

**Speaker 2:** Yeah. Meat tastes so good. What 's the vegan thing? Are you one of those sweetheart girls that's like loves pets and everything? Yeah. I mean, it's for all animals. It's

**Speaker 1:** okay. You're playing along, but it's still questions. And the basic pickup rule from the beginning of time is you don't ask a question until hook point. I until she asks you a question, you don't ask her a question. And it's your brain not wanting to improvise and talk, mister Bulls. That's why you're saying, oh, do you like pets? Another question and another question. It's basically saying to her, go on, love. You do the work. I can't be bothered.

**Speaker 2:** So will you save it? Yeah. Because don't you guys eat dogs in Mexico?

**Speaker 1:** No. That's

**Speaker 2:** a harsh neg, but it might work. Let's see. I'm just eating We have a lot on the streets but we Yeah. You don't eat them. Yeah. What brings you to Canada?

**Speaker 1:** Oh, my dad. He he works Okay. Again, it's another comfort building question that an old man would ask her on a bus or her grandmother would ask her. You can do that in the grounding phase, in the bonding phase after hook point. She hasn't hooked yet, mister Bulls. So I shouldn't hear any questions. You could guess why she's come to Canada but again, that would be the third stack. And you've got two juicy stacks in front of you, Mexico and hippie vegan. What more does a day game improvise need? So, okay, we're into the third topic now. This is getting very dangerous. He works here.

**Speaker 2:** Oilfield.

**Speaker 0:** No.

**Speaker 1:** He's he's a truck driver. You sound like you're talking to a man, mister Pauls. Is he in oil? How much does he make a year? What shoe size is he? What is the distance between his work no. It's good with me, but it's the opposite of flirtation.

**Speaker 2:** Oh,

**Speaker 0:** is he? Oh, cool. So the whole family moved. Oh,

**Speaker 2:** I'm in mining, so there's a few truck drivers that work for me and

**Speaker 1:** it's We don't need to hear about you. You don't need to give information about you, particularly honest, logical, dull information about you until after the hook point. She hasn't hooked. So you don't need to give her information away. And you are gonna talk about your job, has to be fun. Like Tom Torero says, he's an international sex symbol, I'm a bodybuilder,

**Speaker 2:** I work in McDonald's, I'm a spy. That's after the hook point. It's kinda I used to say I was an entrepreneur, but of my friends that's a girl was like, you gotta quit saying that. It just pretty much means you're a bum these days. So I mean Funny, but again, you're doing the grounding in the wrong place. In that weird awkward point where it's like, don't know what to tell people I do business, business, I guess. So are you gonna go to school or what are you what are you planning with your life? Oh, I'm just That's a big qualification question. You can't qualify girls until after the hook point.

**Speaker 1:** So mister Bulls, what are your sticking points? Well, the big one is vibing. So taking the topic and running with it. And b, secondly, spotting when she's hooked. How do you know a girl's hooked? Well, yeah, she might cross her legs. Yeah, she might play with her hair. But much more importantly, she asks you questions. She's interested in you. She shows genuine signs of interest, not just chitchat. You can feel this shift in the set and then you can do all this bonding stuff but remember you're not her dad, you're not the old guy on the bus, you're not her teacher.

**Speaker 0:** Don't ask these predictable questions. I'm just taking this ESL course at the UFC.

**Speaker 2:** English as a second language? Yeah. Oh, well, your English is very well.

**Speaker 1:** Well, even though it might be, do we ever want to praise girls like this? No. We playfully say, you are a bad student. You don't sound like you are practicing a lot. I can hear a lot of Spanglish. You've got a very strong Mexican accent. You were not studying hard enough in school. But don't worry, I'm not gonna tell your mom if you cook me. Okay? Come on, brothers. We need to flirt. No more chit chat.

**Speaker 2:** Oh, don't even really have that much of an accent anymore.

**Speaker 1:** Tell her she does. That's the opposite of nice guy. I should have said, Oh,

**Speaker 0:** thank you. And your Spanish is good as well. Oh, gracias.

**Speaker 1:** I would Don't use a girl's language even if you do speak Espanol. I'm here in Russia and I speak a bit of Russian but I say, look, I'm so lazy, I don't speak Russian. But let's test your English. Come on, in your best English Keira Knightley voice say, hello, how are you? Again, you're not trying to, build rapport, bond, show off, grovel in her language. I know all these things are counterintuitive but that my friends is

**Speaker 2:** pickup. I would like to take you out for a drink sometime because I think you're Okay. We're two minutes thirty into the interaction and she hasn't hooked.

**Speaker 1:** So there's no way you should go for the number. Even if you get it, it's called the forced number. It's probably gonna flake unless she's a one in a thousand year skill. Don't go for the number until after she's hooked and you've done some grounding. So that's usually what at the five minute mark. Time because I think you're smoking hot and I wanna investigate this further.

**Speaker 2:** Are you interested in checking that out? No. You don't ask permission.

**Speaker 1:** Sorry for all this tough love mister Bulls but I'm talking to everyone else listening to the podcast. You don't say, is that okay? Can I ask you out? Can I take your phone number? No way, Jose. You say, listen, dangerous Mexican girl with your seductive Spanglish accent. I'm gonna take you out next Thursday or Sunday and I'm guessing you drink wine but I might have a beer. What do you prefer? Wine or beer? Okay. There's my phone. You just close. But even closing now, it's suicidal.

**Speaker 0:** Oh,

**Speaker 2:** it's not that I'm not, but I have a boyfriend. Oh, do you? This boyfriend of yours, is he are you guys serious or what? If he's not in the cartel I don't really care but I'd say we are. I mean we haven't been together for that long but Yeah because I got a test coming up so I thought maybe we're just talking about things we're gonna cheat on but

**Speaker 1:** Sorry about That's a cheesy line. That's that's a cheesy line. No. When she says the boyfriend you say, that's cool. Listen, I'll send you one message in the future. You never know what's gonna happen. How do I spell your name? So you just roll off, don't address the boyfriend, don't argue about the boyfriend and definitely don't use a nineteen eighties pickup line about cheating. Just get your phone out. We don't know if the boyfriend's real. I think it's probably not. She's brushing you off because it's, it's just a short interaction and that's a polite way of saying, I'm not interested.

**Speaker 0:** Sorry about that. No.

**Speaker 1:** That's an English person joke. I'll explain it to you later. Should I grab your number or you can just Again, not should I grab your number or is that okay? You're just gonna try and do it. Watch out for the laughing as well. Laughing at your own jokes is a sign of breaking sexual tension. An alpha dude would never do that. You can decide later on or what?

**Speaker 0:** Sounds like you're wishy washy on this guy. Actually, you know what? I don't have a number just yet.

**Speaker 1:** She's lying. Now it's awkward. Okay? So accept the feet, cut it, walk away, open another one.

**Speaker 2:** This is now dead in the water. But I have your Instagram. I'll grab your Instagram then.

**Speaker 1:** Don't do it. Even though night gamers seem to love it and social circle guys seem to love it. Instagram is pretty useless for a daygamer. It's a brush off particularly in America. Oh, can take my Instagram. She's meaning you can join me as a follower, you can be one of millions of followers and I will never reply to your DMs. And that will work.

**Speaker 2:** Yeah, I have a couple friends from Puerto Vallarta, but

**Speaker 1:** Uh-uh. You're building comfort again, mister Bulls. The opposite of attraction is rapport. And I know this is so fucking tricky for Americans in particular because your default conversational style is oh, that's nice, super cool, friendly, wow, I've been there, we should be best buddies. English people are naturally a bit more sarcastic. Irish people with their gift of the gab, they're very sarcastic cutting, a bit like Kiwis. Aussies are not bad. But be very careful of this comfort trap. This is a huge sticking point for you right now. What age did you move at?

**Speaker 0:** Actually, I've been here for one year.

**Speaker 2:** Yeah. Did you just barely start learning English at that period? No. Oh.

**Speaker 1:** This is just an interview now.

**Speaker 0:** Well, I like in Mexico, I didn't take, like, formal classes. Oh, okay. How old are you? I'm 23.

**Speaker 2:** Oh, you're How old are a little too old for me maybe. No. I'm just joking. How old are you? I am 36. Okay.

**Speaker 1:** You sounded like you were bullshitting. You didn't sound confident in your answer. So when a younger girl, I'm guessing you're older than her, when a younger girl says to me, how old are you? The first line of defense you can just say is too old for you young lady, you know, this is wrong, you should walk away now, your dad would be horrified. Then a good PUA answer is just to say guess, how old do you think I am? And younger girls are not very good at guessing. She's probably gonna say, Tom you're 34 and I'll say close 36. So you can add on two years. Yet further down the line she'll find out how old you are after you've banged her. But you didn't sound confident then. So have that ready.

**Speaker 2:** I'm quite old. But, usually, date girls a little taller than you. You're a little bit of a hobbit, aren't you? Yeah. You're cute though, so that makes up for it. So This is good. Weirdly, you're doing the attraction stuff now

**Speaker 1:** instead of at the beginning. So it's okay. Can you recover? I don't know. That was quite funny. Usually, I date girls taller than you. That is the qualification and you're like a little hobbit.

**Speaker 2:** Alright. Well, I'll tell you what I'll do is do you check your Instagram very often or no?

**Speaker 1:** Of course, she does. She's a girl. She's on it, every four seconds. But I doubt she's gonna reply. I could be completely wrong. She could be a yes girl. But if this was a student, I would say, just cut your losses. It's not the girl we want. This set is not what we're interested in. What we're interested in, why we're doing this m p three experiment is to find sticking points. And you need to forget everything else and just work on the first two minutes like most 99% of beginner day gamers need to do. So stacking your stacking is not bad, but you need to focus on vibing, Taking a topic and running with it. So remember that thing I did where you go on random word generator and type in random word generator country or random word generator job or if you're brave, just random noun generator and it'll come up with parrot. And you say, three, two, one, go. When I think of parrots, I think of Brazil rainforest, you just go with it. It's a stream of consciousness. Then you try to make it flirty and girl friendly. Okay? Try it for countries. So it'll say three, two, one, Germany. When I think of Germany, say to yourself in the mirror, I think of lay the hose and and schnitzel and sauerkraut and, you know, and leather skirts and. That's how you get good at vibing on a topic. You can do it in your bedroom, but even better, do it in field. Crush this nice guy thing. Crush the questions of doom. Don't ask a question until she hooks, and don't close too early. You you had two juicy topics there you could have gone with and definitely taken it past the five minute mark. She might have been interested then, and that imaginary boyfriend might never have come up. Is there any more? Let's check it out.

**Speaker 2:** You go on there quite often? Yeah. Yeah. Well, follow me back when you go back home, and I'll send you a message sometime. I'm busy this weekend, but we'll grab a drink, and then you can decide how

**Speaker 1:** serious you are with this boyfriend of yours. Okay. We'll stop it there just because it's it's fizzled out to nothing and it's getting dangerous where I was speaking to a guy yesterday on Skype about this, you're logically discussing things with a girl about attraction. Like, let's see if you will suddenly change your mind about that boy, maybe on Tuesday we will do this. That's not how girls brains operate. You can't convince a girl logically to be attracted to you. She can only feel it in between her legs. Yeah. And you do that in the beginning, first couple of minutes through breaking rapport. What is breaking rapport in daygame? You tease her like the hobbit thing. You challenge her. You went to Mexico but you didn't like it, you know, because da da da da da da. You story tell, you role play, you know, about you getting kidnapped in Mexico or wrestling a crocodile or whatever. That is what creates attraction in her mind. This is an interesting guy. He didn't just come up and give me the compliment. There was something else to him aka personality. And one more thing before you go. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I forgot to say in my introductory spiel that today, it is what? Friday, 01/11/2019, I am releasing. I'm giving birth to my new online video course which you can download, you can get access to right now. It's called dirty tricks because Tom Torero is a dirty bastard. It's a four hour seminar that I gave in December in London. We filmed it, now it's online. So go to my website. Go to my blog. It's on the sidebar. There's also a post about it today. A four hour seminar, like I said, with a 100 new gambits, lines, routines, tricks. It's all out of game, so no mindsets or in a game waffle. You can go out and apply it immediately.