---
title: Episode 185 Daygame Diagnosis (Asshole Game)
episode_number: 185
era: late
source_file: Episode 185 Daygame Diagnosis (Asshole Game).mp3
audio_size_mb: 56.0
duration_sec: 1836.3
duration_min: 30.6
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:10:03Z---

# Episode 185 Daygame Diagnosis (Asshole Game)

**Speaker 0:** Tom

**Speaker 1:** Torero. Podcast a 185. Hello from Wales. This is your weekly pickup podcast and this episode is another daygame diagnosis where we analyze analyze a listener's m p three recording from some infield pickup. And this week's episode is called asshole game because as you will hear, this guy certainly doesn't overly make rapport. He's certainly not mister nice guy. This guy knows how to break rapport and why that generates attraction counter intuitively. Anyway, we've got a lot to come on to today. First of all, I think we say. Happy Saint David's Day. It's the national day here in Wales. It's the March 1. And I'd like to say spring has sprung but it's about 10 degrees centigrade. There are daffodils, I will be eating Welsh cakes, I will be of course dressing up in my Welsh ladies costume with my little skirt and bonnet, an apron and 10 degrees centigrade that's not bad compared to minus six degrees centigrade in Russia where I've just come from. So I'm here, so in the van seeing my family. I said I'd tell you all the van plans this week, but we've got a lot to get through in this asshole game podcast. I've got other things to announce at the end of the podcast. So I'm also waiting for a weather window as well. I can't set off too early in the van and when I tell you where I'm going, you'll understand why. But if you're there thinking, well, what are you doing, Tom Torero? What's happened to all the content? I am in Russia filming this documentary for the whole year. So it's just been full on daygame, the icy wind and snow. And I've been putting stuff on the blog. So if you go to the blog, you'll see lots of recent posts. There's one on not being overly needy, so the problem with scarcity and why that makes you on tilt and how to fill your funnel so you can fill her funnel. You can get that upward spiral of abundance. So that's what that article is about. And the videos, I will get back to some travel videos when I'm in the van. So as soon as I set off, you'll get season two of the black sheep bandit. I wanted to also say hello to somebody I should have said hello to on the last podcast or two. It was a nice flight attendant I met on my way to Istanbul on route to Bali and he was called Serkan and he was very hospitable and warm. He's a pickup artist, he's a daygamer and it was quite funny being spotted by a flight attendant. So hello to you, sir can. Okay, another really, really juicy daygame diagnosis, mp3 to unpick today. This is certainly not beginner. I would say this is certainly not intermediate. This is above intermediate because this guy takes risks, this guy polarizes, this guy has solid game, technical game but he also transcends it and that he knows where he is, so he's able to freestyle. We'll come on to the problems of over polarizing, over qualifying, overly breaking rapport, I. E. Being too much of an asshole and this is such a rare problem. You could say out of a thousand students, you might meet less than a handful, two or three guys that are naturally overly cocky, naturally quote unquote alpha, assholes that come for training, that's very very rare. So this is a good example of how not to be Mr Nice Guy, how not to be pleasant, how not to be too sweet, how to get the guild doing some work. So how to really qualify her. You'll hear when it gets dangerous, but if you've never heard the effect of power of the push, if you've never heard how attraction can be generated by challenging a girl, qualifying a girl, disagreeing with a girl, then listen to this podcast, this is for you. And he is called Ergi, he is 22, He is Romanian and this recording I think was around Christmas twenty eighteen. He's not living in Romania, he's living in Madrid, Spain. So what a nice mix. Without further ado, we shall dive into today's infield daygame.

**Speaker 0:** Sorry. You look like you speak in English or Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little. Can I say something to you? Yeah. Of course. You look quite beautiful and

**Speaker 1:** Okay. Nice and slow. It actually helps that he's Romanian, she's Spanish, I think, and they're speaking in English. So it simplifies it counter intuitively. It slows everything down. And just like my croaky voice today, he's got a nice masculine deep slow voice. I liked the push pull of the compliment. He didn't just say you look stunning. He said you look quite beautiful. So a little cheeky neg thrown in.

**Speaker 0:** And Thank you. I noticed that you had this, like, happy face and I was like, what the fuck is this? You know?

**Speaker 1:** Classic. Classic. You should give me $10 every time we hear that Torero observation, you look suspiciously happy. He said you got a happy face. What the fuck? So straight off the bat, very masculine. I guess he's smiling. He's getting away with it because you heard the giggle. When you swear, particularly early on in the set, what the fuck? You're clearly breaking rapport. You're not the sweet polite making rapport mister nice guy, and I think he's gotten away with it. So great challenging off the bat, being playful, hopefully smiling. Let's see what happens. You know, like,

**Speaker 0:** why? You know, people are more like a serious, normal and shit since you are Well, maybe the Christmas.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. Quite heavy using qualification. He said, what the fuck? And then he said, why? Why are you so happy? Just be careful with over qualifying, over challenging, breaking rapport too much in an almost confrontational way too early on because it's meant to be fun and playful and in attraction. But fair enough. This is stone cold masculine. Is she gonna justify why she's happy? Let's see. Christmas.

**Speaker 0:** Environment. No. Maybe. The Christmas spirit. Yeah. This is true. That's why. Yeah. Can I can do that? It's like really difficult. Why?

**Speaker 1:** I'm more Okay. She's playing along and you can hear the happiness in her voice, the femininity, which is what is brought out when you go hardcore, you know, off the bat taking a risk, polarizing, clearly masculine. She brings out the feminine in her and she's justifying herself. She's saying maybe it's the Christmas spirit. She's playing along. So we're into vibing now. It's beyond just the basic scaffolding so this is good. This guy has clearly done this before. He's clearly comfortable around girls and vibing doesn't have to be that basic model of, you know, take the topic and run with it. It can just be in this bubble of male female polarity.

**Speaker 0:** Does it keep going? Does she hook even more? Let's see. I'm more like a logical, serious, you know, like things like that.

**Speaker 2:** It's

**Speaker 1:** the first time you here in Madrid. There we go. He got away with it and she hooked. She's asking him I think is this his first time in the city I. E. Is he a tourist, but I think he lives in Spain. So what happens from here on in? Cracking start, unorthodox, not following the basic, beginner's guide, relying on polarity. This is fucking good. This is much much higher level than the basics. In Madrid? No, I have one ear and trust me. Oh, trust

**Speaker 0:** me. I know what I'm talking. Yeah. Okay. But you look beautiful. You look happy. You are Spanish? Yeah. I'm from Andrita, yeah. Spanish and you speak so fucking well English. Okay,

**Speaker 1:** so he stacked again, fair enough because the Christmas topic is a bit flat, so he's saying your Spanish and now he's talking about her English level which is another good trick if you run out of topics and the girls not English, I always tease them about their dodgy English. He threw in again the swear words. It's so fucking good. Be careful with over, overdoing it. I'd say swear once or twice in set and she already knows that you're a badass because you jumped in front of her, you complimented her, you broke rapport off the bat. So she's kind of hooked. You can dial it down, you can be mister nice which, is the opposite to all the other podcasts giving advice that I've done. Do we go anywhere with Spain? No.

**Speaker 2:** My English is very bad. Okay.

**Speaker 0:** I disqualify you. You speak really tragic. What the fuck is this English? Okay.

**Speaker 1:** So this guy clearly understands how attraction works. He qualified earlier on. Why? And now he's literally elephant in the room vocalizing. I disqualify you. Your English is tragic. So he's doing a lot of nice pull. Your English is amazing and a lot of nice push. Your English is terrible. But go easy you've done the hard work attraction is kind of over we need to build rapport she needs to trust you otherwise she's going to start thinking from here on in what you know what the fuck is this guy, we don't want to get confrontational

**Speaker 0:** Never, never, never with frame. It's like it's like, oh my god. You are are just beautiful and that's all.

**Speaker 2:** No. Thank you. Classic mystery qualification.

**Speaker 1:** Go to my recent blog post where I list all the classic qualification routines and lines from me for mystery and that's a classic Mystery Method you know, you're beautiful but have you got anything else going on for you and he flips and says well no but at least you're beautiful that's a cool neg to throw in on a date as well it's alright barbeque, at least you're beautiful. Thank you.

**Speaker 0:** So you have a backpack, why? Sorry? You have a backpack, why?

**Speaker 1:** Be careful with the why. It's a great qualification but you're using it too much and that's too much challenging, too serious. Why? Why are you doing this? Sounds like the police. Okay the backpack could be linked to another stack but be careful to over stack. Stick to a topic and now I would say, you're a minute or so in start being a bit nicer.

**Speaker 0:** Okay

**Speaker 1:** so she vocalizes what I just said she's she's getting a bit, creeped out now. She says, don't understand this. Like, why are you challenging me so much? So we've lost the playful frame and we've got into combat frame, which we should never do with girls, with children, with puppies.

**Speaker 0:** Can he recover? Have you got to school or what? No. No. No. It's because I like the this bag. What the hell is wrong with you? Really? Yeah.

**Speaker 2:** Because when people more comfortable than Oh, like a purse. Yeah. Oh. His wife.

**Speaker 0:** You know deep English here, you know, like a lot of words and shit. Maybe you are smart, you study something or

**Speaker 2:** No, I'm working in a lab. In what? In a laboratory. I'm a researcher.

**Speaker 1:** What? Okay. So there's a good topic. She's not a student. She's working in a laboratory. So we could be easily be playful about that and have another nice vibing riff on that. Does he become a little bit nicer? Come on, Ogi. What? Okay. That's

**Speaker 0:** really logical in my way. It's because

**Speaker 2:** the reason why I have to talk in English, but my English level is very low. It's

**Speaker 1:** horrible. I have to It's tragic. It's fucking tragic. I'm crying. Oh, yeah. This is over negging now. So you're addicted to challenging. You're addicted to negging and everything is pretty good. So how to save over negging? Combine the push with the pull. You could say yeah it's terrible but you're hiding it well, your bluffing is fooling me, fantastic congratulations. Anyway let's get back to the laboratory thing.

**Speaker 0:** Hear inside when I'm talking with you. Laboratory. Yeah. Like a research for like a you dissect frogs and like a Well, frogs,

**Speaker 2:** mice.

**Speaker 0:** Mice. I I work with mice. Thank you. I'm feeling better. Yeah.

**Speaker 2:** Humans? No. It's an extra step, but

**Speaker 1:** Good. So we're back to a bit more playful. I think you've self corrected. You realized you were being a bit of a, too much of an asshole. That is possible on the street. And you're dialing it down. She's enjoying it once again. That feminine giggle shows you that all is good. Remember, she's hooked. So what do you do after hook point daygamers? You move into getting her to talk, investment and grounding. So he can tell a little bit about himself now, so he's not just a street stranger and you don't really need more of the teasing and the challenging sure if the conversation is descending into boredom you can spike it up a little bit but keep it at this level now you're home and dry so don't fuck it up. You do that? You? I well,

**Speaker 2:** I don't like to do this but no. No. No. It's a new one. I'm You don't? Yeah. You don't. Oh, it's good. It's good. I work with sales so so do I.

**Speaker 0:** But I Yeah, me too. Have to go to meet Good. My

**Speaker 1:** He noticed, perhaps feet movement or she changed her line of sight. Can You see when a girl wants to go, so call it out before she does. That's very clever. Look, I can see you've got to go. I've got to go. My friends are waiting over there. Either stack again or try and close but he's only three minutes in and he hasn't said anything about himself. She's not really asked any more questions, so we need to make it more solid like the last podcast.

**Speaker 0:** For like a drink? Ah, yeah? Yeah, beer. You drink beer? Oh, no. I don't drink alcohol. Only water, no? To be healthy and be in in a good shape. Yes. Strong. You only study? You don't work? Or you Yeah. I'm I'm working it. You only work, you don't study. Sorry. No, I finished my studies, the

**Speaker 2:** grade and the master.

**Speaker 1:** Okay, good. He chose to carry on. She's investing more. So every second from here on in that he can keep her there talking, I. E investing it's making the number more solid. Throw in some stuff about you, Roosh, come on you're you're just a stranger, a strange asshole on the street, she needs to know more.

**Speaker 2:** Oh, smart, smart, smart, smart, smart. I'm doing my the Ph. D. I'm a Ph. D.

**Speaker 0:** You go in like you go into like a high like a Yeah. Would like to to be a doctor. Oh, good. I work in construction, so it's not like a

**Speaker 1:** Very good. He's noticed where he is. Remember I say to students, where are you? And he's woken up and he's realized he's meant to be in rapport. He's grounding. He's softened. She's warming to him. That's

**Speaker 0:** kind of like prestigious, but it's a joke. No. It is of course in this here in Prague. I have one ear. And

**Speaker 2:** do you like the city?

**Speaker 1:** Very good. So see how this works. She said she had to go but she didn't. Don't believe everything girls say. Now she's hooked again, she wants to know more about him, she's intrigued. This is making it solid.

**Speaker 0:** People are, I don't know, same clothes. You know, in my country, you people go, like, screaming, singing, naked, you know, partying. Nobody cares. You know? But where are you from? Do you know Dracula?

**Speaker 2:** Oh, really? Yeah.

**Speaker 1:** Very good. I congratulate you. This is really good daygame. I do a lot of what you just did. So when a girl in Russia asks me, do you like Russia? I don't immediately jump in and say, yeah, I love Russia, it's amazing. You've just got to be a little bit more cool, a cool cat. It's all right, you know, good things and bad things. I find British people to be more da da da da da da And he had the answer ready, making a girl work to guess where you're from. He's clearly done this before. So Dracula, La Romania.

**Speaker 2:** Transylvania?

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. You are from Transylvania? No. Don't know. Was like hoping. You? Yeah. You are from Romania? Yeah. I'm a vampire. I will transform you into my queen. Okay.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. You've done the joke and now solidify it. So constant fractionation, push and pull. Don't over tease. I know it's addictive getting the girl to laugh and get all that good stuff, but keep it real. We are past the dodgy time, I think. So we're almost coming up to five minutes in this interaction. So it's pretty solid. Just solidify it more. Cut out the jokes, cut out the challenging.

**Speaker 0:** You know, people are like scared and you know, it's a joke in my country. Of course. I hope that it's a joke. So tell me what you do like for fun in your free time. Brilliant.

**Speaker 1:** Jesus. This guy knows the textbook inside out. So open question, qualify her more, put the spotlight back on her. We don't want to talk about ourselves. She already knows a little bit about ergi which is enough and he says well back to you, tell me what do you do for fun or you could have said why did you decide to want to be a doctor?

**Speaker 2:** Oh yeah, go dancing, I love to dance. Normal

**Speaker 0:** dance, nothing like a strip club or Yeah, Latin, we love.

**Speaker 1:** Sexual spike, cheeky, polarizing, I like it. She's talking about emotions and feelings and this is all really good stuff.

**Speaker 0:** Latin dancers. Dancing, what else?

**Speaker 2:** Well, I don't have so much free time, so. No more like study and like. Yeah, reading and listening to music but yes very relaxed. When I have more time I would like to go dancing, body, but there

**Speaker 1:** are so many times. Perfect opportunity to close, you say that you will be her distraction or her secret distraction. And yeah, she's giving you the opportunity, she's waiting for an invitation to close them. From here on in, he's over five minutes now, he can go for the number, especially if he sees her moving off again. Well,

**Speaker 0:** Me, I like to party, you know, like go out, drink. But I think that you look beautiful and maybe another time when you when you have like a time because I work a lot and you work a lot. Yeah. We don't have so much time. Yeah. I would like to invite you definitely maybe to like a beer, water, Coca Cola. Water, Coca Cola. Sorry. Water. We we can take a tea if you want. You have like WhatsApp and like

**Speaker 1:** Alright. And then he closes. He self edits the recording. So it finishes there. He gets the number and it's a decent close. I like the coming back to the water joke and not being too needy, so maybe we'll do this. Let's see. No big deal. Get the number. But in the email with the recording, he said she sadly flaked. If And you could take a lot of phone numbers, okay. It might have just been an unlucky roll of the dice from the daygame gods. She got sucked into the Bermuda Triangle. She moved to Tahiti. She got married the next day. Who knows? Who cares? But let's have a guess from a technical point of daygame. Why did she flake, dear listener? Can you guess from the title of the podcast, too much asshole? Too much push and not enough pull. And I've spent the last ten years bashing on about this magic word, I believe in fractionation. Hiding your pushes with pulls or hiding your pulls with pushes, making your pushes look like pulls, etcetera. Balancing out your negs and I think this interaction was too much negging. So she enjoyed that feeling of being challenged and the breaking rapport and all those giggles that happen automatically. But she walked away thinking, does she want two hours with this guy on a day? Is he going to be overly challenging? Is it going to be like a frame war? And why is this guy so prickly? That raises alarm bells. So don't over swear, don't qualify too much too early with the why why why. Qualify sure but after hook point. Wrap it in a bit more warmth and you don't say this often to daygame students because they're often nice guys like myself, like I was. But when I've seen daygame being done and taught in Eastern Europe with guys from, Ukraine, I've seen daygame being taught in Russia, in Moscow by Russian coaches to Russian guys. It is very to the point direct polarized quote unquote alpha. Same in the Balkans as well. In a way too much polarity. Oh, the irony. So those guys have to add in a bit of nice guy. That's the message for today. And for you listening, if you are the opposite to this guy, well, learn from him. Yep. It's good to swing for a time towards badass. Polarize. If a girl has never called you an asshole in your whole life, then you are definitely friend zoned brother to agreeable. So get used to pushing her buttons, get used to challenging, get used to qualifying, get used to vacuuming, get used to that tonality of the voice. It's all good stuff. Alright. We've got just under ten minutes of the podcast left and I promised two guys to do some donkey work upselling for them, but they're worthy guys, both of them. So there are two new daygame books out. One of them is more general, but it will help you with your daygame and dating. And the second one is a memoir of Mr Nice Guy, you could say Gamma. I hope you don't mind me saying that, Oz. From Gamma to Gangland, so going from, squeaky clean to the dark side, a bit like American Psycho. But the first one out today, March 1, it's Troy Francis's new book. If you've listened to my podcast, you'll have heard Troy on the podcast and he's really big into Twitter and the online men's community. And he loves arguing not just with feminists, but ironically also angry guys. A lot of guys on Twitter are conservative guys on their moral high horses and they're arguing back with Troy about being a bachelor, being single, shagging loads of girls, being an asshole. So he's written a new book and it is free. It's a PDF, I think. And it's called cucked, subtitled everything they told you about monogamy is a lie, don't save western civilization, avoid marriage and keep dating beautiful girls instead. So he's prodding the wasp's nest. And I wrote the forward for the PDF. So I shall read that to you now to give you an idea of the contents of the book. If you listen to that New Year's podcast that Troy and I did when we're rambling around, ambling around and rambling on through the seedy streets of London, then you'll get an idea of what this book is about. I say we live in confusing times for men who are trying to get better with women. The early days of the internet offered sweet hope to guys who were searching how to improve their seduction skills and get beautiful girls into their beds and lives. Seasoned pickup artists posted field tested advice and techniques for guys looking to get some hot ass. That was the aim and that was the content. Yet in less than a decade, things have taken a somewhat surprising u-turn. If a greenhorn guy types us in a search for how to get girls, he's now faced with a jungle of male self improvement links about lifting, growing a beard, going to church, and most ironically, how and why to settle down with a wife and kids. The term red pill simply means the scientific truths of male female mating dynamics as studied by evolutionary biologists and field tested by horny players. Unfortunately, the term has now been hijacked by many groups from religious zealots and self help gurus to personal trainers and politicians. Guys looking for advice about getting hot girls into their lives are bizarrely being told to settle down, do the right thing and look for a higher meaning. Even dating coaches and former pickup artists are muddying the waters by shaming men for wanting casual sex. I'm happy to see Troy sticking his neck out and being one of the first to push back against this strange turn of events and the vocal men's groups who are behind it. Time to start clearing a path through the jungle of misinformation out there to lead guys back to the time tested principles of pickup and social dynamics. So there you go. That's Troy's book. It's out today and the link is below. The second book, as I said, is a memoir from a guy called Oz. And if you're a dedicated daygamer and you listen these podcasts and you watch my stuff, you'll remember the documentary I filmed with Craig called Hustle On and it was following daygamers around the world and the first guy was an English guy living in Scotland. We filmed him in Covent Garden in London and he's called Oz. And anyway, he went off, carried on daygaming. Little did I know that he then descended, as I say, from Gamma Land to Gangland and is now, I think he's not actually doing that much daygame. He's into the night scene and kinky sex clubs and all this good stuff. But anyway, his memoir from learning daygame and pickup and beyond is called Millennials Among the Ruins. And this is really good, again, linking to this podcast, luckily about going from squeaky clean as I say to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. And sure, eventually you want to find the middle ground but certainly not sanitizing pickup with self development but really getting stuck in in more ways than one with a lot of fucking and drinking and drugs and behaving badly. Anyway the blurb says, in a comfortable middle class haven full of liberal arts students, organic coffee shops and vegan pasties, Oswald Kurrigan was moving up in the world, working out at a gym three times a week, getting up at 06:55AM every morning, I told you it sounds like American Psycho, and arranging his clothes in his wardrobe by genre, material and color. Somewhere along the line, it went horribly wrong when he started reading Tom Torero. The intricate jazz solos over Duke Ellington classics got replaced by the tuneless, incessant pounding of hard industrial techno. Troy Francis would approve. A small whiskey and a crystal glass after work got ditched for cheap, saccharin cocktails full of buckfast and energy drinks. And hope and ambition got usurped by desperation, dirt and degeneracy. In this horrific and depressing tale, Oz presents us with his descent into the dark depths of Edinburgh's underbelly. Very Trainspotting esque. The goth subculture, pickup artistry, and long freezing cold nights of excess and self indulgence. The twenty first century has never looked bleaker. What a brilliant, blurb and tagline. Anyway, that's the second book, Millennials Among the Ruins. The link is below Support Oz. I've skimmed it. I will read it, in the van to add to a bit of bleakness. But there we go, that was podcast what 185. I think I'll do a few more day game diagnosis podcasts, but we are getting into spring now, are getting into the black sheep bandit stuff and I also want to report back on Russia before we hit the 200 podcast mark, which will be monumental. We'll do a special event for that. But thank you, dear listeners. Thank you for the m p three this week, and until next time. Stay horny. Goodbye.