---
title: Episode 187 Logic vs Emotion
episode_number: 187
era: late
source_file: Episode 187 Logic vs Emotion.mp3
audio_size_mb: 57.4
duration_sec: 1881.5
duration_min: 31.4
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.997
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:10:34Z---

# Episode 187 Logic vs Emotion

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast a 187 in Wales inside the van and sitting in front of a fire. If only you could smell this. It's not just wood smoke, but I've just chucked on a log made up from ground up coffee. So the whole van smells like a morning cup of freshly roasted coffee. Picture that. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Thank you for listening on iTunes. Listening on YouTube. Today's podcast is about logic, the forebrain versus emotion, the hindbrain. So how men communicate, how women communicate, and how that fucks up their gamers when they're talking to girls on the street, when they're texting girls, when they're trying to entertain girls on dates, and like me in Russia, when they're trying to keep girls around. They're trying to spin plates, build a harem, whatever. It's an important topic. I can't believe I've not made a podcast in nearly 200 episodes on this very important topic anyway before we dive into that the last couple of days I'm out of breath because I've just been fucking cleaning the van emptying it out getting stuff ready two days to go until I depart not depart this life but I depart The UK via London and Cambridge for The Netherlands then Germany then Denmark and then up pretty quickly into Scandinavia where the van shall remain for about half a year So Sweden, like I said last week, into Finland to the Russian border. So that's where I can be when I'm not daygaming in Russia. It's just a short train ride away. So there we go. On route to the ferry, I shall begin filming for season two of the black sheep bandit, and I'm gonna be meeting up with a guy called Johnny who lives on a canal boat in Herefordshire and works for himself. He's a proper Irish black sheep bandit, and he spends the rest of his time doing what the fuck he wants abroad, having adventures, surfing, etcetera. So we'll meet Johnny. I'll film an interview with him, film his life, and get that in the series. The second announcement is the winner of the black sheep bandit t shirt. I asked for contributions for the new book. Some guys misunderstood the whole concept of the new book in the black sheep bandit bible. And the first question I read on YouTube was, how do you fuck a girl in a toilet? So there we go. No. The new book is not really about daygame and dating. Although non monogamy is in there and being a bachelor is in there, and having frame, that's all in there. But this book is is like the flow mad stuff I did a long time ago. It's about Tom Torero's quote unquote inner game. So how do you not get lonely? How do you stay single? What about the travel? What about the criticisms you have to face? What about, life in your thirties versus your forties versus your fifties? What about the so called endgame, if you believe in that? And all that good stuff, plus micro details on converting a van, going on a daygame mission, cities around the world for day game stuff that perhaps are quite secret, countries to visit to do other stuff, how to work for yourself, how to generate an income, sitting in a van like I am now with a laptop and a dictaphone. How the fuck do you make that into some money? All that stuff will be in the book. But anyway, I asked for contributions, and a guy called Magnum, who is a daygamer, I believe, he left me a good comment on my blog. So anyway, Magnum, email me and I will send off your black sheep bandit t shirt with love. And finally, on the blog, when I say blog, I mean website. Somebody recently asked me, Tom, I didn't know you had a blog. I mean, my website, tomtorero.com. If you go on that, yesterday, I believe, I posted an entire text thread from meeting a girl, when I took her on an instant date to the date where I could bring her home and make sweet love to her in Russia. So it's Russian daygame, which usually means two or three dates. You see how I keep the text exchange going over the course of a week, just over a week. And because it's Russia, it's not, fast, sharp, jokey banter. You have to be more blunt sometimes. You have to build more comfort sometimes. And because I'm keeping her around for the year, she's going in the harem, how to get some, deep conversion, how to really spark her emotions to keep her around as a plate. So if you're not sure about texting, text pings, photo pings, audio pings, GIFs, sparking emotions rather than boring nice guy questions, go to my website and it's on there, the entire fucking text thread. So you can steal from that what you want. Alright. That hints at today's topic. Sparking emotion emotion rather than man to man logic. And basic biology of the brain, you can look into the three part structure of the brain, the three part model, and how the three parts evolved and for what and what separates us from apes. And the difference between the male brain and the female brain. That's right. We have different brains. So it's fucking confusing for a logical serious guy, and pickup and daygame in particular attracts quite serious analytical high IQ guys. They might work in IT. They might work in engineering, computer programming, medicine, mister logical. So he likes the model of daygame. He likes the model of texting. He likes the model of dating. But what he lacks is an understanding of how females communicate. He fails shit tests. He's not very good at storytelling. He takes what girls say literally. He tries to communicate with a girl like he does with a guy. All very forebrain gets trapped in his head, thinks that IQ is sexy, thinks that you can woo the ladies with logic, and never really understands this secret society code. And it's slightly camp in a way. If you think that a seducer, a good player, think Russell Brand with his verbal bamboozling. Think flowery Casanova. That's a bit gay, isn't it? Well, yes. These guys are tapping into, whether they know it or not, female thinking. They understand nuance, they understand subtext, they understand context, they understand delivery. So they understand that you change her mood not her mind. Have you heard that saying before? It's all over the pickup community. Change her mood not her mind. I like to think of it like when I was teaching kids, or when you're playing with a puppy or a dog, and the dog or the puppy might be sulking, or the kid might be having a tantrum on a train. Yeah? You've seen that. Now, a guy, imagine that's the girl and the guy is thinking, well, I'm taking this seriously. She's upset. I need to ask her why she's upset. How can I change it? What have I done to upset you? Taking a baby's cries at face value. Taking a dog's little whine at face value. Whereas a parent or someone with dogs knows that to change their mood is very quick and easy. You know, you wave a little toy at a kid or you pick up the dog, you, you play with it, you throw it a ball, whatever. And in a second, the dog the child changes its mood. And the parent's not gonna argue with a kid like it's a university professor. It's not gonna get angry with these little tantrums, with these little niggles because you never feel intellectually threatened. It's not gonna work trying to, debate a five year old child or a puppy dog. So you understand it in that sense. But when I ask you to transfer that over to girls, very hard for a guy to do. That's why, like I said, guys fail the shit test when she says, oh, we're not gonna have sex tonight. Or she says, so why are you single? Or she says, so do you talk to a lot of girls on the street? And the guy will get into a huff. The guy might argue back. That's confrontational frame like you do with a guy. And immediately, girl's pussies dry up. Attraction is lost, or she might be standing at your door. This happens actually in the text exchange from sleeping with the the girl you see on my website. And I mentioned that she was standing at my front door on the second date, and there was a little wobble when I opened the door. And this is, you know, 75% of girls do this. Very few girls just go, yep, straight in. If if that's so, she was probably a yes girl. And it it's an indicator that you could have bounced earlier. Anyway, this girl kind of stood there and she looked at me without saying, come on. Change my mood, not my mind. And at this point, some guys are like, well, come on in. You agreed to come in. You said over text you were coming in. Why don't you come in? Come on. Just come in for five minutes. Oh, come on, please. That's not gonna work. That's begging. That's, again, male logic. You could say to a guy, come upstairs for ten minutes. Minutes. There's this, we're gonna look at this. We're gonna do this. Then we're gonna do this in a non homo way. You make a plan, a fixed plan, black and white. That's how guys quite literally are wired. And you think, yep. That sounds good. I'll do that. And that's what happens. Whereas with a girl, I pointed to the balcony and I mentioned the smoke and the whiskey and the night snow and the night view of the city and bang. Emotional spike, she comes in, and it's plausible deniability. That's what I mean by the secret society operating in the hindbrain. Because a girl might logically say, I'm married. I have a boyfriend. I'm not that kind of girl. But on the hindbrain level, that's also the eating, sleeping, and fighting, and fucking level, she will do all sorts of things if you can communicate to that part of the brain. On the boot camps I used to teach a long time ago with Jonathan Matrix, every week, we used to explain this to guys, you know, when you're storytelling, when you're doing the stacking and the vibing, tap into some emotions. And I used to give the example I once heard on the underground, which is the tube, the metro in London. And two guys were talking to each other. I presume they were friends. And one of the guys said, so where did you go on holiday? And the other guy went, Spain. And the first guy said, which part of Spain? And the other guy said, South. And the first guy said, did you like it? And the second guy went, yeah. So there you go. Closed questions and black and white answers, information gathering. Can you see why that was useful in our evolutionary history as men? Okay. If that was two women, clucking away, gossiping away, catching up in a coffee shop or on the tube, how would it sound? One of them would say, oh, so where did you go on holiday? You've got to excuse my camp voice here. And the other one would say, oh, a lovely sunny break in Malaga, South Of Spain, you know, where they film that movie. And the first one would say, oh, what was it like? And the second one would say, oh, it was absolutely wonderful. The sun, the blue sea. Oh, and it should tell you about the food. And I went with Jackie. You know Jackie. Jackie, you play tennis with on a Tuesday. Okay. To a man, you're laughing, going fucking hell. What's happened to Tom? That sounds ridiculous. That sounds camp. That is not how we communicate. How they're talking to each other, so the manner in which they're talking to each other is based on the feelings. It's based on the delivery, the context. So they're not actually listening to the words by word account of what happened. It's the emotion, the feeling behind it, the delivery. That's what she's conveying. That's what she picks up on. They can go in a million directions. It's all about, the smell, the sound, the touch, the senses. Yeah? And scattered. This is why it's inherently frustrating. If you have a girl as your copilot on a car journey or you're trying to get some directions from a girl, it's the basis of every male female joke. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, all that stuff. Was that the right way around? Men are from Venus? I can't remember. But you know what I'm talking about. It's this code, which the player has to, a, accept, and b, you have to decode it. You have to learn to speak like this. So we say listen to a girl's actions, not exactly what she's saying. So many guys trip up largely on text messages. They misunderstand that or, on the date with the shit tests. So I say zoom out, look at her behavior, look at her delivery or rather her lack of messaging. What is that telling you in girl code, in girl speak? It's also important to realize, and I've said this to a lot of guys on coaching calls, high IQ is not sexy. And I can tell you that from my time at Oxford, meeting enough fellow nerds and super geeks. High IQ does not make girls' pussies wet. And one call I had quite recently, a guy was really concerned that he had had a low score on an IQ test. And I explained it's not IQ you want. You don't wanna bombard a girl with facts about quantum physics. This is why guys trip up as well on the stacking phase of the London daygame model. They actually logically try to guess where she's from. And then when the girl says she's from Portugal, the guy launches into step number three, what he thinks of as vibing, and he gives some very dry academic factually correct information about Portugal. The capital of Portugal, the cities he visited, the distance between those cities, when those cities were founded, historical anecdotes. Fucking hell. Right? Even worse, the politics, the the religious information, girls, pussies, dry up. It's also his voice delivery. It might be very flat and very monotone and wow. Well, I when I think of Portugal, I remember going to Lisbon and there was a cathedral which was founded it. Yeah. There's no emotion. There's no up. There's no down. There's no fast bits and there's no slow bits. So I've promised you a podcast or a video or an event or something on storytelling, and I think that is precisely linked to this topic. That is what's lacking. A man's ability to tap in to the emotional way girls talk. And what does game teach you? Game is all about learning, improving, strengthening your social intelligence. So fucking forget high IQ. Do you remember those kids, naughty kids at school? They just bumped off, probably low IQ. Get in the girls because they weren't overthinking. They weren't trapped in their forebrain. They're all about the hindbrain fighting and fucking. You remember those kids? You couldn't believe it. You were trying to solve this puzzle academically. They just went with their feelings. So in a way, IQ is a barrier to gain because you're worried about what she's thinking, what other people are thinking. You're worried about escalating. You're not following your dick. You're not following your balls. You haven't got that hindbrain thing going on. Yeah? So once again, what is the Machiavellian seducer? The Machiavellian charismatic manipulator, he operates in women speak. He wins the war without even a drop of blood being shed. The art of war. Yeah? Being able to operate in the shadows, in the subtext. It's all very, very clever. This is why some seductions, some seducers, they'll be doing daygame. You won't even realize it realizing it or they'll be seducing a guy's girlfriend. The guy could be meters away. Yep. The guy's going on a date. She's already married. Nobody else in the venue might know that. He gets away with it because he operates on these terms. Okay. A footnote for this is that men are making huge decisions in their lives also based on emotions. Have you heard that saying? We buy on emotion and we justify with logic. So it's not just girls that are operating emotionally. Men like to think of themselves, ourselves as very rational beings. I never operate on emotions. But if you look at the big decisions in your life, who you dated, god forbid who you married, where you live, what car you bought, the last pair of shoes you bought. Okay. You might be more logical than a girl, but you often follow your gut. You often make impulse purchases when you're hungry, when you're sleepy. You'll be tapping into more of the the hindbrain. When you've fallen in love with the one, And then only later when the fog clears and you go, fucking hell, I bought on emotions. I justified with logic, and now I'm fucking stranded. That's often what happens to the player who settles down, to the guy who's just banged a few gills and he jumps into a relationship. She moves in. Before you know it, she's pregnant or they're getting married. The fog clears and one day he goes, Jesus, how did I end up here? Well, that my friends is the power of emotions, the power of advertising, the power of a good car salesman, the power of the Wolf of Wall Street. If you've seen the Wolf of Wall Street, watch him selling the penny stocks and the pen. His sales as opposed to the the dweebs who are doing the telesales on his behalf. And he demonstrates how to sell, how to spark emotions, how to be charismatic, how to talk in emotions. And guys get all their own asses thinking, well, that's it's not factually correct. I mean, I must deliver the facts. That's what she's interested in. No. That is not what convinces. Facts don't win an argument, let's say on Twitter or when you're making a video. It's the emotion behind it. It's the charisma behind it. That person gets elected. That person sells you something. That person is a good seducer. So like I said, because vibing, I believe, step number three in the daygame model is the biggest hurdle. I recently coached a guy yesterday, and we taught him the opening in sixty seconds. Excuse me. You look very nice. We taught him the stacking in a couple of minutes. What I noticed about you is you look very creative. I think you're an art student. But step number three, the vibing, which is storytelling, riffing, sparking emotions on what she said. That's not gonna take two minutes. That's not gonna take two weeks. That's gonna take two months to two years. Alright? And he said in the end, can can I learn this? And I said, yes. You can learn social intelligence. You can go from being dry and bland and boring in your storytelling to being a good salesman, to being a good storyteller. And I've said before, you can do toastmasters, you can do a stand up comedy thing, you can become a primary school teacher where you have to entertain 30 children, you can become a public speaker, you can just learn this by daygaming on the street and having to spark girls' emotions. I say to you again and again, I think it's available on YouTube still, find some old Mystery Method videos. Just type in Mystery DHVs or Mystery Storytelling. And there used to be videos of mystery giving old school PUA seminars where he would demonstrate storytelling. And last year in Russia, I watched mystery demonstrating storytelling to the group of guys, and it was still phenomenal. Light years ahead of my storytelling. So the ability to tell an emotionally rich charged story full of embedded humble bragging d h v's, you know, the attraction switches flicked. And we were, as guys, engrossed. How is this story gonna end? How does he multithread? How does he do the open loops? How does he do the push pull? How does he get the high and the low? What about the delivery? And he would always say and Bext would always say, delivery, delivery, delivery. The material, yeah, you could say it's 50%. I believe it's probably much less than 50%. You can have a really shitty factually factual story, but the way you deliver that, you can make it super engaging, super interesting. The girl would be eating out of your hand and following you home. It's the same with a guy thinking, well, what do I need in my apartment? What music should I play? What movies should I have? What items should I have in apartment in my apartment to tell her to come back? Well, I always say she knows. It's the subtext. It's just plausible deniability. It's the way you deliver the emotions about the balcony and the snow and the whiskey and the cigars. Look at that text thread I just posted and see how I spark her emotions. I'm also sparking emotions about wilderness, adventure, spontaneity, van trips, nature. Why am I doing this? Because that girl is gonna be in the van. In Finland, she's up for a van adventure. I'm keeping that girl around. Just because you've slept with her, as I say in those harem hustle posts, that's not the end, my friend. You've still got to bang her another few times and bang her well, but you've also got to keep that tension on the line. You've got to keep her coming back for more quite literally. You've got to keep the push and the pull. You've gotta keep the spikes. You've gotta keep the enigma. You've gotta keep the mystery. You've gotta keep the bad boy thing up. Even recording these podcasts teaches me how to spark your emotions. However cynical that sounds, I'm not really heavy on the sales. Am I? I'm not bombarding you with cheesy, spammy, clickbait, or, dodgy daily emails, affiliate crap. But I am occasionally saying buy this book, buy this Black Sheep Bandit hoodie or t shirt, come to a seminar, whatever. And why do you listen to podcasts? I hope it's because I've got better at delivery. I'm not so dry. I'm not so bland. I'm not so boring, and I'm taking topics weekly, and I'm riffing. There's no real preparation. There's no stopping and starting of recordings. This is training for me. So I'm cynically using you as my daygame training. Yeah? And you can do the same. You can record podcast. You can talk into a dictaphone. You can do a random word generator. The topic is wheelbarrows. Three, two, one, go. Or the topic is the Arctic Circle. Three, two, one, go. The topic is squirrels. Three, two, one, go. And when I do this storytelling workshop or video or podcast, I haven't decided. But that was a long way around to say the main problem in the daygame community is step three, vibing, storytelling. Step four is just chatting and investment. Step five is closing on the date. Guys find the physical escalation okay, but guys are still crap at, storytelling, an emotional connection, a high and a low. So let me give you an example. What is storytelling? This is how I used to do it with kids. Okay? And these were seven year old kids, so I can teach it to you, I hope, very succinctly. You take a very basic basic scenario, and I used to say to the kids, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Or we actually used to say, what did you do before from the moment you woke up to being in this classroom now? Just put it on a linear timeline. Put write down now what you had for breakfast this morning. It's fucking boring. Just write a list. And that's the man version of the story. That's like how Tom Torero writes his his books of lay report. It's very dry, very factual because that's how I was recording them on a forum and a blog in the early days. And that's why the daygame book, the first book just says, I did this. We went there. She said this. Then we did this, and then we got laid. Next story. I met a girl here. I did this. Do you see what I mean? I wasn't writing those to be dickens. I was writing them as a man to another man to, as I do in the analysis to say this is how you can copy what I did. Okay. So what did you have for breakfast? Now I say to the kids, add in adjectives. And you don't know what an adjective is? Okay. An adjective is a describing word. So you instead of saying you had toast, you can say you had buttery toast, piping hot toast. Instead of saying coffee, you could say you had some slow roasted smooth coffee, some Colombian coffee. Instead of saying sausages, you could say you had some sizzling sausages. You know, I like to use a lot of alliteration, black sheep bandit bible, stealth seduction. Yep. So describing it. Again, think of the girl. How does it smell? How does it sound? How does it how does it taste? How does it feel? Now to a level above that is adverbs. Describe the verb. So you had, you fried the crispy bacon slowly. Yep. You scrambled the farm eggs, the fresh farm eggs quickly. Yep. Then you can get a level above that into a bit of poetry, which is real chick crack. You can get into similes and metaphors. Just look up poetry, look up chick crack. That's why they dig the psychology stuff and the dreams and the future and all that astrology stuff that sounds utter bullshit. Believe you me, in Russia, they fucking love it. Okay. But more importantly, for day game storytelling on the street and on dates and with a girl in a harem, you have to add in tension. So the way a good storyteller does it is, dilemma resolution. Dilemma resolution. Dilemma resolution. You build it up like a piece of music like Tchaikovsky. Yeah? Like the godfather, I used to say. That's what fractionation is. A good director, a good film keeps you on the edge of your seat by some drama and then a resolution. Some drama, which is perhaps bigger, cliffhanger, resolution. Drama, resolution. What am I doing? Pull, push. Pull, push. Pull, push. And what has Tom Torero said for decades? The secret of seduction is micro to macro. So I'll give you an example. A shitty example of you having breakfast, you might say, is, I walked into the kitchen and made some toast. That's like what a six year old kid would say. Now, a novel writer might change that to say, in the kitchen that morning, I took out a knife from the drawer to butter the homemade bread, and that's when I noticed the blood. Okay. So you start with a pull about some, lovely butter on some warm homemade bread, and then you quite literally stick the knife in with a push. And that's when I noticed the trail of blood suspension, open loop, cliffhanger. You can resolve that and rinse and repeat. So that's how, girls grab onto stories. That's how girls communicate, highs and lows. That's what gossiping is. And it's in the delivery. Recently, I did a coaching call where I taught the guy the story. We listened to him doing it in field on his m p threes. Same story, same words, not the same delivery. It lacked oomph. It lacked mojo. It lacked sparkle. It lacked charisma. And that's hard to teach. I can teach you the story, but I can't teach you the delivery. That, my friend, you have to practice in the mirror. You have to practice into a dictaphone. You have to practice in front of hundreds, if not thousands of girls. Like a stand up comedian testing his material before he does the big show at Madison Square Gardens. Yeah? He works the joke. He crafts the joke until he knows what the reaction's gonna be. Pacing, timing, really, really important. So find a comedian you like. I've said this many times. I like Bill Burr. I like Louis c k even with the pot plants. God bless him. I love Patrice O'Neil. Rest in peace, Patrice O'Neil. I love the delivery and the content of Chris Rock. Find any storyteller or find a a lecturer on some geeky talk online that you like. Why do you listen to him? What is it about his charisma and delivery? How does he spark your emotions? I'll go into the chemicals of emotions and storytelling when I do the talk about how to spike oxytocin, serotonin, adrenaline. That's all very, very important for girls. And get good at telling two or three stories that you're gonna tell on every single date. I don't even think about them now because I learned them ten years ago, and now I just recycle them on every single date. Like I said, try and find the ones of mystery storytelling. If you can't find them, I'll try and dig them out from somewhere and repost them with his permission. But there we go. I have reached half an hour. I think the fire has died. Let me open this wood burning stove. No. It's still good. Hang on. Can you hear this? No. Sadly, you can't smell it. But again, that would spark your emotions. Rich roasted coffee in a lovely toast van in wet Wales which is about to go on a Scandinavian black sheep bandit adventure. Stay horny my friends, keep grabbing life by the horns, keep your head up, Speak to you next week. Goodbye.