---
title: Episode 22 Royal Flush
episode_number: 22
era: early
source_file: Episode 22 Royal Flush.mp3
audio_size_mb: 46.2
duration_sec: 1514.2
duration_min: 25.2
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:13:05Z---

# Episode 22 Royal Flush

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 22. Back in Warsaw after a little side trip to Ukraine with my student. I went to Kiev and Lviv and Tonopul. I'll release some videos of those fun Borat style adventures you could say. Nice to be back in Warsaw on my way back to London for a pit stop and then elsewhere. So my last podcast from Poland. And this is not gonna be about the older guy daygame, maybe next week. That is a great topic, daygaming and dating in your thirties, forties and fifties, how it changes the dynamics. But today, something came up, Actually, last night, something came up on the date and it fitted a pattern of things I've been seeing here and in former Soviet Union countries and especially from my last year's month long Moscow expedition. And the pieces are kind of coming together like a puzzle. Things are clicking, and I thought, if it happens once, then that might just be an anomaly. But when you see the same thing happening again and again, it's the biologist in me, I wanna report the findings. And they're interesting because they go against perhaps what people have said in the past. So this episode, this podcast is called the Royal Flush after the terminology of poker, the ultimate poker hand, the winning hand, or you could call it the extreme elephant in the room, extreme fourth wall. This is a technique that I stumbled upon last year in Moscow after many weeks of dates to nowhere with princess girls, bitchy girls. Because my daygame was fine, the texting was fine, getting girls out was fine, but as you know, in the former Soviet Union, Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, the sex can be slower cause they can make you wait. They can put you in the boyfriend mode. They can tell you a lot of stuff about Disney romance and church and society and them being angels and flowers and rainbows and not being into same day lays, same night lays, even first day kisses. So that's what a lot of guys conclude from their trips to the Former Soviet Union, especially if they're doing Tinder and online. You'll read things about girls being unobtainable or the making you wait for two, three, four, five months. Them only dating and sleeping with boyfriends, nothing casual. And after weeks and weeks of this in Russia and just the tonality and the mentality of these girls on dates, I remember one night on old our bat in a in an Irish pub with a girl who was actually starting to talk politics because the Ukraine crisis was kicking in at the time, and she was very anti Ukrainian, and I lost it. And like a teacher, you should never really lose it in the sense that you're out of control shouting, but I had a couple of guinnesses and I shouted at her, told her what I thought and reject her notion of being all sweet and innocent and not knowing what I wanted, laid it on the table, you could say putting the royal flush down, showing your hand, showing your cards and saying this is what I want, this is what I think you want, there you go. And she was shocked. I had shocked her into silence. First time she'd shut up. She said she hadn't been spoken to like this before on a date, no guy had ever told her these things. It was a massive dramatic moment. And half an hour later, we were having sex. So something in my mind went, oh, that was interesting. Russian girls like a bit of the old in teaching we say, speak softly but carry a big stick. It's the teacher strategy of once a year, really laying into your class. Laying down the laws, letting the kids know that you're not just a walk over happy, smiley, nice guy, but that you have barriers and that they've overstepped the mark and you only need to do it once or twice a year and your class is aware of this cat with sharp claws. So I like that that sentence, speaking softly but carrying a big stick. And that's what frame control should be all about because ideally, you don't need to forth wall things. You don't need to tell girls what's happening in the seduction. You don't need to tell girls that it's man to woman. You don't need to tell girls what you want. Because by daygaming and texting and coming out on dates, most girls know. But here's the disclaimer. If they're playing silly buggers or as I'm starting to suspect in former Soviet Union countries and you can include Czech Republic, Slovakia, Poland, I'll include the Balkans as well, Serbia more than Croatia. These girls like strong men. These girls like holding the frame. These girls like drama. Okay. They like the the turbulent emotions. And so last week here in Warsaw before I flew to Kiev, I was on a date with a crazy, very frame controlling, but small horny bisexual Russian girl from Moscow who's been living here for eight years. And the clothes was good. It happened in Starbucks. It was very spontaneous. The texting was really good. First date, she did the whole, why are you trying to kiss me? I don't understand. And then she would send me a message saying that I was too fast. I was not respecting her wishes. And yeah, there's a fair point here that in the last year or two, I've become lazy and apathetic with texting and dating. I'm not even doing multiple dating or multiple venues and drinks, I'm just escalating verbally and physically hard. I'm being a bit lazy. So that can be a good thing and a bad thing. So with this girl, I thought I'd blown it because I was far too on on on. Not on in a needy way, not on in an over grabby way, but on in a this is what I want and if you don't want it, bye bye. So I replied to that message, the text message with oh, she'd also said we can hang out again as friends but nothing more because I'd made her feel like a sex object. That's what she said. And I replied with a very black and white text, not reactive, not angry, not bitter, just saying, look, I like you man to woman. I find you physically attractive as well as intellectually. You've got great energy. I'm not I don't believe men and women can be friends. You should watch the movie When Harry Met Sally and if we meet up again, it's for another date and I'm still gonna imagine you with no clothes on. Something along those lines. And of course, there was silence as that hit her and spiked her emotions. But two days later, she she carried on texting with the smiley faces and pings. We met up. She played silly buggers a little bit more, but we had met up in a bar very close to my house. So I let her blow off steam again and once more I sat her down and I explained this is how it is. This is the frame. I don't believe in playing games. I'm not a teenager. I don't have female friends. Now disclaimer on this point, of course, you can have female friends, but if you're a nice guy, should be telling girls you can't because you're gonna get friend zoned, they're gonna make you wait, you're gonna be needy, you're gonna be begging her through salsa or doing that activity with her like helping her with her homework. No. Just say I refuse to do it and make her watch the movie When Harry Met Sally because it's about that very question. So I explained all this to her and she, rather bizarrely, she put her hands over her ears and then started not sobbing but started kind of tearing up and then we hugged and half an hour later we were having sex in the apartment. So that was the second case which triggered this idea of the royal flush, the extreme elephant in the room. It happened in the first week here. I missed that one out. It happened in the first week here with a girl that I had met. She was a bar girl working in a cafe restaurant and again, I'd gone on a date with her and over pulled you could say. It was like a fast fisherman. And she sent me something similar. This one was on Facebook. She sent me something similar about not being that kind of girl and she had already had that phase in her life of crazy sex and that's not what she wanted. And I replied similarly that I liked her man to woman, that I didn't just believe in one off sex, sex is good with a connection and passion, but I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. And lo and behold, I slept with her and I still am sleeping with her. So that was some from this trip out of the other girls and like I said, the ones from Russia last year. And then last night, I went on that date with the Polish Israeli dancer girl and after this was the second date because the first date was a bit rushed. She's a very busy girl, so I'd had a late evening coffee with her in Starbucks. Wasn't ideal. Tried to kiss rejected it and she sent me a message saying she thought British guys are different from Polish guys and that she wasn't that kind of girl. But lo and behold, after me sending her the black and white royal flush cards on the table message, she came out and I didn't sleep with her last night, but it was all good. It was all on. The ice buzz was there. We spoke very frankly about our sexual adventures, what she liked. And once you put that frame down of listen, I'm not angry with you and I'm not judging you and society is not judging you and I don't wanna play games and this is this is how I feel about the situation and I'm not gonna just hang around and be your friend, but I'm not gonna fall in love with you and be your girlfriend. Once that's on the table, there's nothing she can say that beats that frame. So, yep, it's high risk and that she could just get up and you'd never see her again. Again, you know, some of the soft maybe girls or if you believe in kind of if you in good girls, yeah, they might walk out of the day and it's too much. So it's a high risk, high reward strategy. It's the ultimate frame crush. It's a big dramatic spike in that it shakes everything up and some girls might not take it. If they really are just looking for that sweet nice guy boyfriend, then it's not gonna work. So just be wary of it and like I said in my video on statements of intent, verbal is the poor man's nonverbal. So this is like the last chance saloon. If a girl's understanding this is action and it's all going well, you don't need to verbally call out this massive elephant in the room. But if she's playing silly buggers and pretending that she doesn't know what you want or pretending she's gonna put you in the the boyfriend box or even worse, the nice guy friend box, then you need to call it out. You need to call out this silly buggers. Well, I think the pattern is here because in the East and in the Former Soviet Union, and I know Poland is not Former Soviet Union, but it has many elements of that like in the Czech Republic, like in Slovakia. Girls just have this tendency to enjoy drama. They enjoy the guy calling it out. They like the strict teacher. They like the big stick. Yeah. They like a bit of the old spanking verbally that is. So I want you to give this a go with perhaps sets, perhaps leads you've got on text or Facebook where she sent you a similar message of either saying she doesn't know what you want because you've played it to a nice guy or she's rejected your escalation, but she's still there, she's still smiling. I should point out that you need to know the difference between soft no and hard no. Obviously. I'm saying all this stuff with the smirk and the twinkling eyes and if she's still coming out on dates, know, that old thing of listen to her actions not her words. If she's like these girls coming to a bar near my house late at night after already having had this chat, then I know that she's, feeling something different to what she's saying. And when you lay down this royal flush hand, she's got no other option. You're forcing her to make a decision, but you're not doing that out of a place of neediness. Some guys might leave a comment and say, well, Tom, this sounds very needy. You're pull pull pulling, but it's that thing of wanting her but not needing her. I'm doing this and I'm saying to the girls, I want you. I find you very attractive, but I'm not giving off that air of desperation and I've never had sex, that I want her as a girlfriend. If I don't have sex, then I'm gonna cry that evening. Let me just move under the covers. It's starting to rain. I'm sitting outside a coffee shop and I haven't even been drinking my coffee. Hang on a second. There we go. That's better. And why I think I haven't been doing this in the past is that it involves risking losing, going on more dates with these girls, especially if they're pretty. In the beginning in Moscow, I would put up, you could say with some of their princess behavior, put up with multiple dates, put up with them, playing silly buggers and pretending to not know what I want because I wanted to see them again and I fell into that trap of thinking, well, this is just the former Soviet Union and miss how it this is how it is. A lot of guys don't wanna lose those good feelings of just hanging out quote unquote. Yep. They're not prepared to risk turning over the poker table and walking away from the game. They think, well, if I if I just play, if I just stay in at the table, forgive my lack of poker knowledge here, but this is everything I've seen in Casino Royale. That's more comfortable. If I'm in the game, that's more comfortable than high risk. Whereas I'm saying for these particular girls, you could call them barbie girls, high maintenance girls, some guys will call them bitchy girls, but I just see it as part of the dynamic. They need a guy who is gonna snatch the frame back off them and there's an enjoyment in that. If something's just ticking along and it's very bland and predictable in a relationship or in the start of a seduction, even over texting or even on the street, as I've said in my street hustle videos, then something's not right because the definition of, seduction is sexual tension. It's tension. It feels awkward. It's like the fishermen like I said in Buddha's Buddha. The lion is taught. It could snap. It could go either way. But if the lion is just, know, I don't know fishing terminology either. If it's just been let out and nothing much is happening. Imagine the fish is kind of on the hook, kind of not on the hook. The fisherman sitting there for days on end, and the fisherman's playing is playing the fish is playing the fisherman at his own game. That's not good fishing. So seduction should feel awkward and guys don't like this feeling of awkwardness. A, on the street, b, over text, and especially c on dates. That's why guys have these long dates to nowhere. A few guys in Poland have been telling me they go on dates for the three hours, you know. I just can't imagine sitting in one venue for three hours talking to a girl about her studies, about politics, about her past, about her love of gymnastics or dogs. No. If a girl's come out on a date with you and you could say this applies especially in big cities like London and New York where girls are very busy, if she's given up an evening and she's dressed up, she's come out with the intention of having sex with you as long as you don't fuck that up. That's a very good frame to have. Alright? Now, that doesn't mean you drag her in a needy fashion. It doesn't mean you beg. It's how how you respond to her nose that counts. So when I start escalating physically or verbally, I'm expecting the girl to smile and shake her head or call me call me horny. And I'll say, yeah, this is what you do to me and I'll point to my dick and I'll say, you know, it's hard for me to stand up now. This is a guy a problem guys have in the mornings. It's really difficult to pee like this as well. You girls don't have that. You know, this is what you do to me. I find you attractive. I'm really trying hard to listen to you, but it's the same as on the street when I saw you. I was just very attracted to I like to play as I talk about in Ballast put it, the parody caveman where you make fun of yourself especially if you're quite verbally academic. I say, look, I'm a very simple guy, simple pleasures. I like football, steak, beer, and sex. That's it. And I sleep for the rest of the time like a hibernating bear. It's the Bart Simpson card and she smiles and shakes her head and girls love this because just as we've got that thing for feminine women, girls have got on whatever level this thing for masculine guys, the caricature of the masculine guy. The good news is you don't need to look like one or really be one, but the caricature works still the same. And that sign that you have social intelligence by being able to call this out, play this role, play the royal flush. That's extremely socially intelligent. The girl knows it's high risk. Watch watch When Harry Met Sally for the behavior, the vocal tone, the gestures of that lead character. Can't remember the actor's name, but it's fantastic. Because for the whole movie, she's trying to put him in friend zone and he refuses to be in this role. So that's the message for today. Refuse to be in it. And if you find yourself in the friend box, it's your fault. Alright? If you find yourself in loads and loads of dates to nowhere, it was your fault. If you find yourself in friendly conversations, it's your fault. Take the blame. This is not some misogynistic rant about princess gills. As I said, I've come to enjoy it. After you spend enough time in Russia and Ukraine and Belarus, you enjoy these tests because as I said in my shit test one zero one video, a shit test quote unquote is just a chance for you to shine. You can actually get more value every time she gives you the test and you pass it skillfully. So I love them. Bring them on. It's a sign that you're shaking things up. If you're not getting shit tests and the laser all super easy, imagine you're doing Tinder dating where they've chosen you, they turn up and fuck and they're not hotter than you or younger than you, then that's not game. Alright? Or interactions just go super smoothly, suspiciously smoothly and it's all lovey dovey, then that's not game either because without that sexual tension, without that drama, then you're not pushing your comfort zone, you're staying in that comfort zone. And as the cheesy Tony Robbins motivational quote says, all the good stuff happens outside your comfort zone when you lean into your edge, David Dayda would say. You don't need to lean massively, you don't need to crush the frame and throw plates like a Greek wedding, but you certainly do need to feel some tension and that applies on the street, on texting, and on the date. Alright. The rain has stopped and I'm walking back to the apartment. And to finish this podcast, I wanted to talk about a related topic based on a question, a very common question that I received last week, but the thread is universal. You'll recognize this idea. When a guy says he wants to do daygame to find the one, to find a girlfriend, not to be a player, not to get balls deep in vagina, He's just looking for love and maybe he's early to mid twenties, maybe older, but he's not had much sexual experience and he's wondering if daygame will work for him and the advantages disadvantages of setting settling down quote unquote. Now, don't get me wrong. I definitely don't disagree with settling down, having a girlfriend. I don't disagree with using daygame to find a girlfriend, but what I do say is that before you make that decision, because this is a a common thing that happens, the student will do a boot camp or take some coaching, get to intermediate level after six months maybe, find a girl, and then just stop everything, and be just as needy with her as she was pre learning game. So he'll still make all the mistakes that a needy guy makes. He's not living in abundance. He might creep the girl out. She might dump him or things just might end and then he's back to square one. That's a very common pattern when guys drop out of the game. You see them on the street for a while and then they disappear with a girlfriend and they slide back down on the snakes and ladders board to zero. So I always say to guys, sure, get into a relationship if it's out of a place of abundance, if you're choosing it, if you've got options, if you've tasted from the buffet of sexual adventures. If you've had your fill, so to speak, you know. So you've got all the things you wanna do out of the way. The blonde girls, the exotic girls, Asian girls, Russian girls, crazy girls, quiet girls, threesomes, foursomes, more somes, whatever you want to do. You fulfill lots of that, you've had your time, and then you find a high quality girl and you think, yeah, this is great. I want something more. We just want time off the game, that's very common as well. When you've been gaming so hard, like I hit last year November with a high quality girl that I'd known for a long time, I thought, yeah, I'm gonna take some time off and that's what I did during the winter even though it was an open thing and I saw other girls. I didn't feel the need to see other girls. Sometimes it would happen when I traveled, and technically I'm still with her. She knows what I do, but I'm starting to feel my my energy come back after my Polish Ukrainian adventures. So coming back to the point, don't just rush in to get in a girlfriend. Yeah? As sixty years of challenge says, auditioning for the role of boyfriend in a girl's eyes is much harder than auditioning for the role of player stroke lover. That links to the original topic of this podcast, the royal flusher. When she's trying to put you in the box of he could be my boyfriend, make him wait, sex is something gold and on a pedestal, my pussy's made of gold, all that stuff. She's saying to you, make him wait because you've got to fit certain criteria, you've got to meet my friends, you've got to get on with my family, you've got to go to dinner, movies, cinema, parks with me. That's a huge ask and the girl only gets with a guy for a boyfriend every whatever few months or usually few years whereas the lover, you just have to fit one criteria. You have to tick one box. Same with her having to tick one box in your eyes and that you find her sexually attractive that there's sexual tension and sexual chemistry. So it's far easier as you know with affairs and illegitimate things even if somebody's in a relationship, especially one that's been going on for years and years, and they find somebody else who's who generates that sexual spark, things can happen super quickly, I e with the secretary or with somebody on a business meeting, conference, holiday, with the window cleaner, you know all the cliches. So auditioning for that role, jumping in front of her on the street, and like I said in my video from Kiev, not doing friendly daygame where you get false positives, but letting her know you're a sexual threat. Letting her know you have a dick. Letting her know you like her. Letting her know you don't believe in being friends. Letting her know that you're not gonna judge her and text is okay. That box is so much easier and since I've been playing this kind of poker daygame you could call it and using this royal flush technique, I've noticed that things happen a lot faster, they're a lot more transparent and girls are quite happy to keep you as the lover. So in more so, I'm seeing girls that know what I do, they know I'm seeing other girls, they're seeing other guys, I'm sure. That crazy Russian, she's bisexual, she's seeing other girls, and I've not promised them anything. Whereas in the past, perhaps some girls thought that I was some kind of semi boyfriend because I had been on so many dates with them and invested so much of my time and she invested so much of her time. Whereas if you lay that hand on the table and you say this is how it is, she can never come back at you. You never need to make that speech. Guys often ask, you know, how do you let a girl know that it's just one time sex? Well, everything you you do from your fashion to the way you stop her, to the way you speak to her, to the way you spike her, to the way you text her, to the way you behave on a date, that sub communicates. This guy is a player. Not a bad boy, a nice bad boy. Okay? He does give a shit about me, but not in the sense that he's trying to marry me or fall in love with me. And I say to girls, genuinely, I don't want a one night stand, you know, unless it's something drunk in Las Vegas. Because I like good connection with girls. That's when you have the best sex, when she can relax and you can relax, you know each other, you can get all dirty and perverted together and do crazy things. I find it gets better and better and better without alcohol, middle of the day sex, horny sex, whatever as a lover. So when she's up for it, you're up for it. She can call you up, you can call her up, and that that's a done deal. And by having the royal flush laid on the table, then nothing is weird. Whereas if you're sending mixed signals, it's all a bit gray, and she's confused, you're confused, you get bitter, and the worst thing that happens is you either get misogynistic and angry with girls and you call them game players, or you get needy and you settle down with the wrong kind of girl from a wrong place. So I hope that ties the two things together. Anyway, that was podcast 22 and perfect timing. I'm at the gates of my apartment. So next podcast I think will be from London. See you next week. Ta da.