---
title: Episode 23 Daygame For 30+ Guys
episode_number: 23
era: early
source_file: Episode 23 Daygame For 30+ Guys.mp3
audio_size_mb: 58.3
duration_sec: 1911.9
duration_min: 31.9
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:13:22Z---

# Episode 23 Daygame For 30+ Guys

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 23. Back in gray, drizzly, pretty darn cold London. And it's quite funny. I'm recording this on the June 2, and apparently, there's a heat wave on the way. But I quite like the melancholic grayness of London. It's nice to be back. I've been away for one month. All of May, I was in Poland and The Ukraine traveling around doing a one month long residential program with a client. It was the longest and the most immersive daygame I've done for ages, for years really, because it was so intensive for the student and for me. Hitting it hard every day, loads of number farming, loads of dates. Without blowing my own trumpet, I had nine lays in the month of May, all brand new lays from cold approach. Some crazy stories is I don't think I've ever done nine lays in one month, both in Poland and The Ukraine. So it was mental, but I'm feeling spaced out now that I'm back in London. I'm feeling drained of daygame energy in that I'm looking at girls and I'm not interested. That's because the tanks are dry. And when you hit it too hard, you get some burnout. You get what we call daygame revulsion, which is when you're just thinking about girls twenty four seven. You're chasing them on the street or rather hunting them down. I shouldn't say chasing. You're texting them. You're dating them. You're sleeping with them. You're thinking about the next girl, the next girl, the next girl. And you forget, really, when you live in a bubble like this, especially when you travel with a student, you forget that life exists. Today, I've just caught up with friends and family. You forget about things like walking in the park or going to the theater, going to the cinema, going into nature, doing other things. Now there's nothing wrong with hitting it really hard. I think it's very good because that's how you level up. And not only did it massively change the students game, obviously, it changed my game. I became a lot more aggressively dominant in a very good way. I kind of upped the level in terms of quality and speed of the pulls. I was doing stuff I hadn't done for a while because you get a bit apathetic and lazy when you just do day games sporadically. So there's nothing wrong with having these splurges. But like I say in Flow Med, you gotta balance those splurges with times of chilling, a bit like not intensely farming the same area. If you're a farmer, you need to leave the field fallow. I think that's the phrase, isn't it? When it's just unseeded for a growing season just to let all those nutrient nutrients replenish and not to just wear things down because I could certainly feel that effect by the end of the month when the lays were coming in. At the end of the trip, I wasn't that bothered. And that's the irony of it. The less you care, the less you're bothered. The better the dates go, the better the pools go because girls can smell it on you that you just you just don't care. And that helps with the chase cycle. Anyway, today's podcast topic is one that many guys have requested, many guys ask about something that's very relevant for me, for the student that I just taught, for another guy that I was in Poland with for a bit, and for clients in the last couple of years. I'm teaching more and more guys in their thirties, mid to late thirties, and doing residentials with guys in their forties and fifties. Now these guys are in good physical shape usually. They've got their fashion down, got their health and grooming down. And they are not coming from a place of being a teenage virgin. They're coming from a place of having been married or in a very long term relationship or focusing on their business. They're successful in other areas of their life. They've got all those other kind of male SMV factors handled except cold approach, especially if they've been in a marriage for a long time. They just haven't had to, go on a date or they've perhaps never gone up to a girl during the day and been honest about their intentions. So all of it's new. So the big million dollar question is, does daygame work after thirty? How long can you do daygame for? How does daygame and dating change in your thirties, forties, and fifties? What about your fashion? What changes physically? What changes with your energy levels? What changes with the style of game? What changes with the hustle? What are you in it for? All these are very, very good legitimate questions that not many people really answer. A, because dating coaches are usually young in their twenties, and b, because a lot of the issues that I'm gonna talk about today are quite personal, some would say embarrassing, and that you have to admit to changes in your body that happen and, what you're doing to deal with them, to face them. Let's dive in anyway. And first of all, to understand why daygame works in your thirties, forties, and fifties, you have to understand the concept of male sexual market value in the sexual marketplace compared to a woman's sexual market value. I've done other podcasts and other talks on this channel about that. You really need to understand the factors. I'm not really gonna repeat them again, but you can sum up the whole bloody topic just by saying, men are attracted to a woman's looks. Women are attracted to a man's power. The rest is detail. That's a very famous quote. So, yep, a woman's SMV is her age and her looks. That's it in terms of her sexual market value. A male's SMV is related to a lot of things, largely to do with his dominance, his alpha status. So, I I break these down into things that you have naturally, things that you can acquire, external things like, money and status, and things that you can learn. Game is all about learning those things that you can acquire and perfect in the dating and mating game. Now here's the crucial point. A woman's SMB peaks her sexual market value peaks in her early twenties. Best time for looking her best, attracting the right kind of guy, best time for babies, best time to settle down and have a family. There was a recent article I read on the airplane, actually, in a British Airways magazine about how they're gonna start teaching, women at school about the optimum time to have babies because many women assume that it's fine to do it in early thirties, mid thirties, and late thirties when really it should all be happening before the age of 30 to stop these big risks and problems and IVF expensive treatments. Women will kind of solve the lie, and that is now being readdressed. It's a sensitive subject because feminists get on board and, career women, certainly in the West, Britain and America, like to plow on with their career into their late twenties, early thirties, even late thirties now, and then try and find the right guy and start a family. But let's take away the sociological debates and just look at it biologically. A woman's body peaks for all of this in her early to mid twenties. Alright? Because women have this biological clock in terms of their fulfill fertility. So the primary weapon, quote unquote, if you like, that women have to attract men, I. E. Their looks and their age, declines rapidly. It peaks. Women have this great time, especially if you're a hot girl between the age of 18 and 23, 24, 25, maybe even up to 27. But after that, it's like falling off a cliff. Remember that old saying without being misogynistic? When men age, they look like Sean Connery. When women age, they look like Sean Connery. Yeah? So a woman's weapon declines rapidly. You could say after 30. But the primary weapon, men have to attract women, or you could say weapons, I. E. Their personality, confidence, status, learned behaviors, that, all the male SMV stuff, that rises after the age of 30. So you could say a man's peak sexual market value is in his early to mid thirties, but this value can go on and on and on if, physical things and fashion and grooming and health are maintained. If that man has his shit together and keeps his looks together and his grooming together and his health together, then his sexual market value doesn't have this ticking time bomb in it, and that he can, if he wants to, reproduce up until a ripe old age. Just think of the quote unquote male sex symbols that are older, like Clive Owen, George Clooney, Robert Downey Junior, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jared Butler, Daniel Craig, if you like that kind of thing. Well, not you, hopefully, but maybe your mom. Hugh Laurie, he's a good example of a guy that used to be very geeky. If you think of Hugh Laurie in a bit of frying lorry, he's a British comedian or he was a British comedian or he was in Blackadder. Very kind of academic and geeky. Moved to LA to do doctor House. Worked on his style and appearance and his teeth and his fashion. His voice got a lot lower. Plays the plays doctor House, and now he's a sex symbol, Hugh Laurie, that's gonna go on and on. Think of Humphrey Bogart. Think of Frank Sinatra. This kind of dapper, most interesting man in the world image is very, very attractive to women because the man has his shit together. So in terms of power, the man has spent his twenties and his thirties doing well in terms of his work, in terms of his passions, in terms of his fitness, in terms of his knowledge and his travel. He brings everything to the table, and this rises after 30. So I didn't really start daygaming properly, you could say, I was about 29. And I'm now having way, way, way more success, obviously, than I had when I was 21, 22, and feeling a lot more like I know myself, like I'm a man, not a boy anymore or a teenager. I think in my twenties, like a lot of guys, I didn't know my place in the world, I didn't know what my job should be, what I was doing, where I was heading towards. I didn't really know even what my passions were, where I wanted to live. Everything's quite up in the air in your twenties. But in your thirties, you get a really nice feeling of gravitas. I remember I was about 32, think, the first time when I thought, I really know who I am. I'm not pretending to be somebody else. This is who I am. And hopefully, long may that last. I'm sure in your forties and your fifties, you get an even better sense of yourself and your value as a man. And, if you can if you can deliver that value, I always say using the medium of cold approach, I. E. Daygame during the day because you're probably not gonna be going to nightclubs. You might be doing bars and cocktail bars, but you know me. I'm picking up during the day in coffee shops and out and about on the streets and in cafes and stores. That can just go on and on and on. Here's the critical thing. This is not just some pie in the sky and me justifying why I'm still doing daygame now that I'm 35. I'm spending my time during the year coaching or hanging out with wings with guys that are older than me. So I'm sure you know Nick Krauser. He's 39, mate, 39 or 40 now, and his day game's as good as ever. The student that I've just been coaching in his forties, fantastic daygamer. Both those guys, Nick and this student, have been getting girls in their, early twenties. No problems. And, crucially, because a lot of guys jump to this conclusion, it's not using the sugar daddy. It's not using the provider type of game. Because if you think of people like James Bond or perhaps George Clooney and you think of the suit and the car and the watch, guys will say, well, yeah, you could get a 21 year old girl, but they're only attracted to these guys, you know, in their mid forties, whatever, because these guys are sugar daddies. They're buying them shoes and clothes and trips to Paris and all that. But, crucially, when I'm daygaming with older students, whether that's on residential or they're wings of mine, These guys cold approach just like anybody else. I recommend that they don't dress up in blingy fashion. They do the same daygame approach. I recommend they certainly don't talk about their their job, their money, their house, their car, especially if they're successful. This is one of the paradoxes if you're a successful man. In the beginning, while you're dating, really before you've had sex with a girl, you don't talk about stood there and listened in with wireless microphones as I've seen the student again and again and again approaching girls half his age. And just by doing the standard attraction stuff that we do, all of us do on the street, the teasing and the challenging, And just being direct, letting that girl know that he finds her attractive, it still works. She goes on a date with him and she knows nothing about the company that he owns or the, the cars that he has. All of that can come later. Sure. Once he slept with her and he's dating her, well, that's a nice bonus. That's a nice surprise for the guilt. But crucially, these guys don't have to play the sugar daddy provider role to get these girls. Now, obviously, there are many guys, you could say the majority of successful 40 and 50 year old bachelors playing the, sugar daddy game. That's why it's there. But you don't have to. That's the critical point I'm making. So you don't need to shift into that role. Only really when I'm not on the radar of girls at all, let's say, in their twenties and thirties even, however old I am or, whatever happens to me, then I'll think, okay. I have to play the provider game. Maybe I'll be in my sixties, seventies, whatever, or maybe I'll just be totally bored of women. Who knows? But up until then, there's hope because I've seen it with many, many, many, many students. When I first started teaching boot camps, sure, it was guys who were in university or in their early twenties. But now more and more guys, I've taught them in Moscow, I've taught them in Los Angeles, I've taught them all over Europe during the summer. Like I said, these are guys in their forties, fifties. The oldest guy I taught was 67. He did a lot of yoga. He was in very good shape, and he was going for women in their thirties. Alright? So it's definitely possible. Why? Because, as I said, women are attracted to power. That does not necessarily mean money. But women are also wanting to fulfill this fantasy. Some girls will dig it. Some girls just won't. But a lot of girls will. It's that older man, powerful 50 shades of gray fantasy. You could say the teacher fantasy or the boss fantasy where she's dominated, not just in a physical way by the jack guy in a night club, but she's dominated, you could say, intellectually or she's dominated by a man bringing her into his world that she knows nothing about. I successfully daygamed a beautiful 17 year old girl in Poland, and guys would go, what the fuck? That sounds weird or dodgy or creepy. Well, no. It's totally legal. She was totally into it. I'm 35. She was 17. I stopped her actually in a park when she'd skipped school. She's a bit of a rebel. She was meant to be going to an exam, she didn't go. Instead, I bounced her back to mine. And it was just a glorious moment in my life which reaffirmed once again that I'm still on the radar of these girls if I'm being honest and open about my intentions. And, my results have got better year on year really in terms of what I want and what I'm going for and quality and, being able to do it more efficiently, you could say. And that's why I've been getting older and as you might have noticed, getting in worse and worse shape. I think I'm as heavier now than I've ever been. I plan to drop a bit of weight and get back into my fitness, but I'm just making the point that even in my dodgy state with my looks, and as you know, I'm not a millionaire or anything like that, my results are fine because my day game is just getting sharper. My dating is getting sharper. I've been in the game long enough now to know what I'm doing. And as long as I maintain my my looks, my health, my fitness, my grooming, I think I can keep going. Sure. I'll have to switch it eventually from early twenties girls to late twenties girls and then girls in their thirties, but that's fine. I slept with many women in their early thirties who are stunning, who are beautiful as long as they keep their shape as well. And there's something cool about a woman getting into her thirties, even mid thirties when she's dropped the idea of perhaps getting married and having kids, or she just looks after herself. Older women are more experienced. I've had a lot of fun with milks. They divorce women who know what they want. They don't play so many games. They don't flake. They're very sexually experienced. They accept the lover kind of role. So you could say the younger girls from 17 to 19, 20, they like all these crazy adventures, and so too do the women after their early thirties. They're into the adventures. The hardest girls are actually the ones who are in their early to mid to then late twenties, you could say, in their twenties, who are thinking about filtering for a father for their child or filtering for a husband, perhaps two different guys or both in the same guy. Because they're interviewing, if you like, they're recruiting, and they're being ultra selective. Whereas the younger girls, they're the kind of party girls and the older girls, they just they've given up on that Disney romance. So let's think practically about what changes, what you have to change, what changes in you, and what changes you have to make in your game. First of all, the thing I've noticed with the older guys, guys from my age or older when they're daygaming, is that everything has to be congruent. That's a word that's used way too much in the pickup community, and guys don't know what it means. I'm just talking about everything has to be lined up. Everything has to the character has to fit. You can't be playing a role anymore because if you're in your if you're 35, you should know who you are, and you might be a businessman, a doctor, a lawyer. Whoever you are. You've got your fashion that matches who you are. You've got your behaviors that match who you are, so therefore, game should match who you are. Now like I've already warned, you shouldn't be in the sugar daddy box. You shouldn't be in the bling provider trap box. But if you are a businessman or a doctor or a lawyer or a successful man, you should have gravitas. You should be the one qualifying her. You should have that kind of Daniel Craig or Hugh Grant or George Clooney stillness about you. It's very, very attractive. Again, that doesn't mean flashing watches and expensive suits and Bentley cars. That just means having masculinity down. So wearing crazy peacocks clothes and trying to be like a biker bad boy, I've seen that not work for the older guys. For the older guys, what works is the kind of well thought out, not ultra high fashion kind of showery of provider, private jet kind of guy, but just style. Classic style. Think Frank Sinatra classic style, and that doesn't have to mean a tire. Doesn't even have to mean expensive style. Has nothing really to do with money. It just has to mean a bit more dapper. So the suit jacket and something sharp. You don't need to look like a businessman, but it needs to look sharp. Anyway, it needs fit your image. So we can't really say there's one image. That's what congruent means. It fits you. Because that's what the girl's attracted to. If she's attracted to an older man, that's what she's fantasizing about, the 50 shades of gray thing. Yeah? The second point is that I've noticed that instead of a lot of teasing, what works better for guys in their mid thirties plus is challenging, is actually more qualification, Being a lot more of the interviewer where you're saying to the girl that you're selective, you know, because girls are gonna shit test you. Obviously, how old are you? Why are you single? Why don't you have kids? And sure, you give the cocky funny responses like, I'm too old for you or I'm 85 or, you know, I've got hundreds of kids around the world. It's like the United Nations. But then I'm serious. I say, look, I'm 35 and usually, actually, I date girls who are a bit older than you, you know, because they don't they don't play so many games. They're very straightforward. Or she says, why are you not married? Why don't you have kids? I say, I'm very selective. You know, I'm not a teenager anymore. It's not just about drunken two minute lights out missionary position sex. I'm a lot more selective. All this stuff is qualification. That means getting the girl to chase you after the hook point, obviously, on dates where she feels like she's needing to impress you because you're the older guy. The third thing I've spotted with students is that instead of taking girls obviously to just really cheap dive bars and pubs and coffee shops, it's okay to have slightly slicker venues for your dating. I'm not talking about pricey or cocktail bars or restaurants, any of that shit. I'm just talking about things that are get are again congruent with who you are. So you might go to a tapas bar instead of a wine bar or just a secluded cocktail bar. Something with a little bit more of that Daniel Craig, Robert Downey junior vibe. Somewhere that an older guy would go. You don't want a date drinking a latte in McDonald's. It needs to fit your image. Yeah? Same with your place. Now don't get me wrong. You don't need the luxury pad. You don't need the helicopter in the private yacht, but your where you live needs to fit with, who you are. So you can have a collection of books or paintings, or you can, be very knowledgeable about wines, or you can have travel photos. Something which once again fits with this image of you as the international man of mystery. You know your shit. You might be into whiskey. You might be into cigars. You might collect vinyl, whatever. She needs to feel this weight. And younger guys don't have it have this because they can't. It'd be a bit weird if they did. It'd be too hipster. It it comes across as try hard. Yeah. Whereas an older guy, he should have this stuff. Now I'm not talking about possessions because you can have this just through verbal bamboozling and intellectual mastery. That's the kind of stuff I do because I don't really have one pad. But the girl gets the impression that this guy has been around long enough and traveled the world long enough to know what's what. What are some of the things that happen to you as you get older? Well, if you're in your twenties, there's some teens listening to this podcast, but if you're in your twenties, gentlemen, be ready for these changes. And if you're in your forties and fifties, you can leave comments below warning me of further changes. It's been nice spending a month with, let's call him, mister Moody, the month just gone, because the guy I was with, older than me, he was in much better shape than me. He was going to the gym, you know, five, six times a week, really good diet, very groomed. Fashion was good. So he was an inspiration to me, kick up the ass. And he showed me that you can still look like that in your forties and fifties. Fantastic. Both him and me, we color our hair every two or three weeks. I only color the sides of my hair. I've been going gray since I was about 16. Some guys can pull it off, obviously, kind of George Clooney thing, the the Hugh Laurie, but I'm going for still that uniform color because my hair is, like, dark brown on the top. So every two or three weeks, I have to color the sides. You'll notice that your tolerance to alcohol massively goes down unless you're an alcoholic daily drinker. So you feel the effects a lot more after a night out with more than a couple of drinks. Your liver can't take it anymore. It makes you feel groggy groggy. You'll find you put on weight faster, certainly after the age of 30. You've got to really keep an eye on it because you don't need as many calories. So you've got to keep an eye on your body fat percentage. Obviously, your muscle mass naturally decreases. So you've got to consciously think about diet and fitness. And here I am lecturing about diet and fitness. But because of all my traveling and my laziness, just my eye has been on the ball of daygame rather than maintaining fitness challenges that I do. I've put on a bit of weight since my thirties. Not massive amounts, but it's something I need to to focus on because as I get older, it's gonna get more and more of an issue. All those things you can eat in your twenties and just snack on rubbish, you just can't get away with it in your thirties. And then in your forties and fifties, even more so. So those changes happen. It's to do with your testosterone, obviously. Guys see a decrease in their testosterone. That can be checked. I find I mean, as long as I'm daygaming and the girls are young and attractive, don't really have a problem with feeling horny. Perhaps the middle age problem that guys talk about is when they're married or they're just sleeping with the same girl. That's when you you don't feel horny anymore. But you go for checkups, obviously, to deal with your prostate, and some guys are on zinc and all that. And then the testosterone has the knock on effects of energy levels. Some would say mood. Lots of guys go through that kind of heavy feeling of the, quote, unquote, midlife crisis, but perhaps that's because they're working in an office and they're married to a woman they don't want to be married to. Certainly, the guys I've daygamed with in their forties and fifties who are single, they're not going through a midlife crisis. They're traveling the world like I am sleeping with younger, hotter women. So that takes away the midlife crisis. Need to buy a Ferrari. You gotta keep your skin looking youthful. So a lot more suntan cream because sun is the enemy, and then the dry skin, obviously. Weird stray hairs you gotta keep an eye on coming out your nose, your ears, your eyebrows going crazy. That all starts to kick in. Now here's a big area that people don't talk about, and that is using something like Cialis, however you want to say it. That is worrying about erectile dysfunction. Maybe because you've had too much to drink, maybe because you think you have low testosterone, maybe because you're just sleeping with the wrong kind of girls. I get it. If the pull is too fast or I've drunk a lot or I've had too much sex in the preceding days, I a couple of times last year, it happened where I was just about to pull the trigger, and I couldn't. Luckily, subsequently, I did with the same guilt, but, it shocked me into realizing that nobody's invincible to this. So another mate of mine who's the same age, he told me about Cialis. And they recommend twenty milligrams, but I only take five. I break the pill into quarters, and I just keep one in my wallet. And Cialis works in fifteen minutes. It's amazing. It can kind of even work after drinking a lot. So I keep it in my wallet. And if the pool's really fast, so there's no real buildup or foreplay or, it's you get into that mental spiral of thinking, oh, no. I don't know if it's gonna happen again. You've always got that as an emergency. Now nine times out of 10, I wouldn't use it, but but you've got it there in your pocket. It's very helpful. So that's a very common thing that guys don't talk about as well. I'm sure there's think of the millions of guys on Cialis. As you get into your forties, fifties, and sixties, that's gonna become a bigger of an issue. But I've had guys contacting me who are in their twenties, and they just suffer from not being able to get it up through stress or anxiety, depression, whatever. So don't be ashamed about that, gentlemen. Doesn't make you less of a man if you're pulling lots of girls and having a problem getting it up because you're having too much sex. I think that makes you the ultimate man. Yeah? The hero, the action man. I've just realized that I'm running out of time. Hang on. Yeah. It's coming up to roughly half an hour. And that's gone by very quickly because there's so much to talk about with this daygaming in your thirties, forties, and fifties. Let's finish with thinking why you might be doing it in your thirties, forties, fifties, even sixties. Now the instinctive answer is to say, well, by that age, you should want to settle down. So you're doing daygame to find a wife and kids. Gentlemen, precisely the opposite actually seems to be true. This generation of men now in their thirties, forties, and fifties, these are guys, like myself, who have been married and who have no plans to get married and have kids. If they're getting their shit together, keeping their shit together rather, they're just gonna carry on being the bachelor and enjoying it. So not waiting till they retire and then playing golf and having a heart attack, but living life, grabbing life by the horns, being single, traveling the world, focusing on other passions. Now, a woman's reaction to this instinctively is to say, ah, well, that's very sad. Know? That's a middle age crisis thing and you're gonna be a lonely old man. That's what you hear always women saying, you're gonna be a lonely old man. But as many people say, the real lonely old men are perhaps the men in relationships they don't wanna be in, in broken relationships that they can't get out of because of kids. So all the men that I've taught in their forties and fifties are having great times. They're not waiting till they're 65. They're doing what they love and sleeping with very beautiful younger women. They're leading the life that you can only see in the movies. It's not even real. That kind of James Bond life, which is fictional. They are living in reality, and it's a wonderful, inspiring thing. And where do they get their affection from? Other guys or female friends that they've slept with or, you know, by that age. Sure they might not be trying to get the notches. The guy I was doing the residential with, he was very picky, not because he had AA, he was just picky because he's had a lot of lovers and he's had a lot of sex in his life, but he knows what he likes. And he likes experiences with girls as well as the sex, a bit like me. So he's very picky about what type of girls he hooks up with, but he goes on these amazing adventures with them. He's single and he travels the world, and it's all very wonderful. So don't worry about settling down. Gosh. That sounds like a horrible phrase. I hope I never settle down because that implies stagnation, boredom, and doing, what somebody else wants you to do, tells you to do. That's it. That was podcast 23. I'm gonna come back to that one another time because it is such a good topic. But leave your thoughts below, especially if you're in your thirties, forties, and fifties. Tell me how daygame is going for you and why you're in it, and what you've got out of it, and what you think the differences are. Let's talk practical tactics as well. You know, I like outer game tactics. Anyway, be good. I'll speak to you next week. I don't know where I am gonna be, but there will be a podcast coming your way. Take care. Keep grabbing life. By the horns.