---
title: Episode 25 Q&A Bonanza
episode_number: 25
era: early
source_file: Episode 25 Q&A Bonanza.mp3
audio_size_mb: 78.7
duration_sec: 2579.6
duration_min: 43.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.997
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:14:13Z---

# Episode 25 Q&A Bonanza

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 25. Gentlemen, it's q and a day today based on the lovely questions that you've left on my Tom Torero Facebook page page when I asked you for some input for today's podcast. So we're gonna go through those. But first of all, a reminder in true upsell style. Upselling for free event actually, so that's not a true upsell. I'm doing my around the world Torero below the belt tour. And in each of the cities I'm going to, I am giving a free talk to the daygamers in that city. Not trying to sell anything, not trying to promote anything. It's just a chance to connect the dots with all these communities across the globe that don't really talk to each other. I'm gonna be giving a talk and then doing a live q and a and then having, as I said, some beer and banter with the guys. Already a lot of guys have put their names down for certain cities, but feel free to add your name to the list. So if you haven't seen the video on the YouTube channel, it goes through the map and the tour dates. But I'll remind you again, my talk in London is on the July 11. That's gonna be a big one. Over a 100 guys have signed up already. New York City, that's gonna be a big one on the July 16. Los Angeles on the July 21. Sydney, that's gonna be another big one on the July 24, Auckland, New Zealand, July 28, Christchurch, New Zealand, August 6, and the wonderful Cape Town on the August 11. If you want to put your name down for a free seat and that of your wing as well or wings, email me the names with the city of your choice to tom@tomtorero.com. I just need to know who's coming so I can sort out venue numbers. Yeah. Venue capacities. Alright, onwards and inwards. As my grandmother used to say, let me pull up the questions. There's a lot of them. So I'm going to go through all of them and a few of the ones that have come in via email. So if it's longer than half an hour, we'll just keep going. First question is from Brent. And he says, you made a new one, but I very much liked your original YouTube video of 10 ways to unplug from the matrix. I wonder if you can repost it. Yeah. I like that original video as well. It was shot in Prague a long time ago, a couple of years ago. Cheers, Brent. Unfortunately, it's on a channel that I don't have access to or it might have been taken down. That's why I remade it on that boat from Helsinki to Saint Petersburg. That's still live on YouTube. But really, unplugging from the matrix and the flow mad stuff, that's all in my new product flow mad. I go through those 10 things in a lot of detail. So if you're interested in becoming a Flow Mad, then check out that product. That is a cheeky upsell, I guess. Right. Robert, with a proper question, he says, Tom, please talk about why so many men seek approval and chase women, and why it's bad to have the addiction to think twenty four hours about how to get new women. As well, how you discover that you don't need what you thought you needed to be happy. They're big questions, especially the second part. That's a deep question, but a good topic, Robert. Now why do guys chase girls chasing tail going out on the pool? Pull. Pull. Pull. It's because the chase is triggered by scarcity. It's a sexual economics principle. It's a classic economics fundamental principle, the principle of scarcity. Look at my talk on this channel on sexual economics. And this triggers the chase because there's not enough of the the hot stuff to go around, the younger, hotter stuff to go around. Scarcity triggers neediness and all those weird romantic behaviors in guys. So that's why we chase. It's part of the dance. It's part of the mating dance. Don't get bitter or angry about it. It happens to most other male organisms as well. We need to rise above it, work out the principles of sexual economics and the loopholes, and the way that you can improve your sexual market value. And then you can be the chooser rather than the chosen. That's one of my famous settings. Daygame gives you that to be the chooser rather than the chosen. Of course, to some degree, you are still pulling, are still chasing when you go out and daygame, practice your skill set, jump in front of the girl, try and make her attracted, try and escalate on a date. But the whole point of game is to flip the script, get her investing as well, make it win win so you're both enjoying this unspoken dance. And I can assure you, Robert, that once you've slept with the girl, and the quicker the better for this, you are now in control. It's the girl who will chase you to get into some kind of longer term thing usually. That's usually the case. Sometimes girls just want casual sex, but often if you keep seeing them, that will normally, rather, I should say, if you keep seeing them and sleeping with them, they chase you. So don't worry. The the script is flipped. So don't get all bitter about why women can pick and men can't. That's a common moan. Moaning is pussy repellent. Negativity is pussy repellent. Being all dark and deeply misogynistic in a kind of a online forum troll way, that's very, very pussy repellent. You need to rise above it. Work out the game and enjoy the game and play the game. How did you discover, he says, that you don't need what you thought you needed to be happy? That's a big principle that I talk about. There's a video on this channel called, game is a Trojan horse, I think. I'm not trying to be your life coachy, woolly self help, self development tool because of course, I still enjoy sleeping with hotter younger girls. That will always make a guy happy because that is on an animalistic level, on a reptilian brain level, one of the meanings or if not the biological meaning of your life to replicate your DNA. So like eating a nice meal or getting a good night's sleep or seeing an amazing piece of art or something inspiring. It's always going to satisfy you. But you're right. Once you get what you think you wanted, you realize that you were actually, as I say, seducing yourself. So game is a Trojan horse in that it's the carrot on the stick. It opens the door to you changing everything about yourself, your confidence, your charisma, your look, your body language, your voice, the way that you interact, not just with girls, but with friends, people at work, potential business partners, your family, etcetera, etcetera. It changes everything. So you finish the journey thinking, well, the girl was what I thought I was chasing, that was the bonus, that was great, but actually everything changes. Learning game is every man's right. I think Neil Strauss said that. And he's right, I'm certainly not dissing game or dissing the thing of chasing girls, going through an immersive period. That's very good. I think every man should go through an immersive period where you go crazy and yet, you just learn how to get good at having sex. If that, you know, if that's your normal healthy masculine drive, then learn to do it. Get it out the way, and then move on and use the skill for other things. But as I said, the self help thing is a kind of a side product in that game can make feel you better about yourself, but there's still an enjoyment in sleeping with younger hot girls. Alright. Liber, he says, technical question. Are there downloadable m p threes of the podcast? That's the first part of his question. There aren't, little bit I did have a guy sorting my feed. I think it's called an RSS feed, isn't it? That's what you need first before it can be uploaded to iTunes. ITunes have all these requirements. For my sheer laziness because of traveling, doing day game, I never got around to it. But I know lots of guys download this podcast using YouTube to m p three converters so they can listen to it at the gym. It will take you ten seconds. Just Google YouTube to m p three or there's a website called convertto,asinthenumbertwo,mp3.net. I think that's what it is. And that just takes any YouTube video and gives you the audio. Number two oh, the tagline, I should say, for that question is if any technical guy out there wants to sort out these, YouTube videos to podcasts and they can host it and they can do it, then give me an email. I'll be very, very grateful. Second part of Liber's question, oh, this is a bit odd. He says, what happens if girl does not smell right, yet you challenge yourself, brackets, outcome perception of smell? I have no idea what you mean, mate. She doesn't smell right like gone off goods in a supermarket. Welsh girls can smell bad. I can tell you that. I have no idea what that question means. Part three, he says, how cheap is jet ski in Miami? Just Google that. Libor, it's not that expensive. You can do it by the hour or by the half hour, I think, from down in the marina. And number four, part four of his question, what is better, Skyscanner or Skypicker? I've never heard of Skypicker, but I use Skyscanner, but there's loads of price comparison flight websites. Again, liberal, use Google. Come on, man. Part of being a man is to be independent. Marcus says, what is the best way to deal with extreme, unfriendly, hateful girls in a way that I don't swallow the negative energy? For example, a friend of mine approached and gives the compliment. She responds with, you say that to every girl and you are drunk. By the way, he was completely sober. There were not very many advices how to deal with that in in a game and out a game. Okay, Marcus. A bit like Robert, I can sense a bit of negative energy in your question, kind of having a go at the girl, blaming the girl, especially when you say unfriendly hateful girls. This is very common in the pickup community, especially in the online pickup world of forums and trolls. Guys get very, very angry with girls and blame girls. I always say, take the blame yourself. So if you get a massive negative reaction, it's probably something you did. Were you smiling or was your friend smiling? Were you uncalibrated in the timing of the approach? Did you not bring in the other friends? Was it a weird situation? Did you over tease or challenge? Was it like an old school neg? Are you robotic? Are you a kind of an old school PUA? Okay. Some girls do act bitchy, of course, more in the night, but often in the day as well, especially if you're daygaming hotter girls. And that, Marcus, is just the classic shit tests. Yeah? And when a girl tests you, it's your chance to actually shine and gain more value. Watch my shit test one zero one street hustle video. There's a few ways you can deal with shit tests. Number one is to ignore them and just carry on. Smile like you're Brad Pitt. Be nonreactive like your iceberg slim. Smile, wink, and carry on. I prefer the second strategy, the classic game strategy, which is to agree and amplify. So be cocky funny. She says, you're too old. How old are you? And I say, I'm too old for you. Or I'm 85. I've had plastic surgery. Whatever. She says, you're just trying to pick me up. I say, that's right, and you're making it very hard for me. You know? So agree and amplify. Be cocky funny and then move on. The minute you react is the minute you lose. The minute you get into an argument with a girl is the minute you lose. Girls are very good for practicing this stillness, this in the moment iciness, nonreactivity. That is a cornerstone, as Steve Jabber used to say, of game. I don't agree that all the time you should be nonreactive. If you listen to my podcast on the royal flush, there's times when you have to put boundaries on bullshit. That's what I call BOB, b o b, boundaries on bullshit. You have to lay down the law like a good teacher, especially with the hot girls or the princessy girls. But before that, try to be either nonreactive or agree and amplify cocky funny and move on. Xander, I think that's how you say it. His question says, how do you get over an inner game hurdle where you aren't motivated to take action and approach? That's the first part of his question, and it's a very good question. I think we have a few more guys asking similar questions. When you are motivated to take action and approach. I'm not sure whether you have been approaching and you've stopped or you are a newbie and you've never approached. The former one's probably more likely and all gamers, all seducers go through it, where you have periods of excitement, periods of running out of your house and being excited about day game and enjoying every moment of it and seeing it as this amazing new secret passion. And then you have periods where it's boring, you hate it, you're tired of it, you're exhausted by it. So how can you rekindle the passion? Well, get a wing or change wings if your wing is dragging you down, competitive, value tapping, whatever. Hang around someone who's positive, who's childlike, who's perhaps better than you at game, who can kick you, who can push you. Have fun with the wing. Don't make it all about must get the number, must get the number, must get the number. Although I appreciate the catch 22 that when you're a beginner, you do have to go through a period when you're focused on the outcome. It's one of those contradictions and paradoxes of game that I talk about in Badass Buddha. So get a wing, take some time off. I often do this when I'm experiencing burnout or apathy, I've just had enough. Take time off. Do your other passions. Do your other hobbies. Do a lot of fitness. Focus on your your nutrition, travel, switch location just for a weekend. If you can't do that, switch the part of your city that you daygame in. So a lot of guys in London, they are, you know, very unimaginative with their daygame. They just do Oxford Street and Regent Street and Argyle and all the usual shit. So just go to Liverpool Street Station or go to the South Bank or go to Notting Hill or go up to Camden. Go to Totten Court Road. Try something new. Try a different style of games. So if you're sick and tired of jumping in front of girls and saying the same thing, then stop it. You're becoming a day game robot. Alright? Your approaches are probably getting worse and worse. So try bookstores, try seated, try two girls, try coffee shops, try hotter girls. But like I said, if you can, take a bit of time off to either do something else or to travel and try daygame in a new city, it will rekindle the passion. I often find when I travel to a new place, I'm like that kid again. I'm really excited, and I get that passion. I get that fire. If you're a newbie, Xander, and it says you don't know how to take action and approach, then check out my PDF beginner daygame where I talk about the baby steps to getting started. So before you leave your house, then leaving your house, then the number of approaches to do, little tricks to stop those weasels getting into your brain, just getting off your ass, shutting your laptop, leaving your house, and getting started. Of course, that's a huge barrier to entry. It's a huge hurdle that we all had to overcome. Second part of your question. You say you live an hour away from any good daygame spots. What else can you do to fix the logistical problems? And you suggest a same delay maybe. Yep. You could go for the same delay in your daygame location. So using a car or using a park or using some toilets, being imaginative. That's very easy to do in London if you're living in London because there's so many quirky locations. You can go back to hers. That's very simple. I talk about that a lot in in all my books and products, how to go back to hers. Perhaps you've got a friend or a wing who's a daygamer, he's got a place a little bit closer. A lot of daygamers do that. They they ask their mate, you know, do you mind if I just bounce a girl back for a couple of hours in exchange for a couple of beers or whatever, Find central place. Some guys in London do use hotels. It's high risk strategy because it can trigger the anti slut defense. Triggers a lot of LMR. Hotels would be my last resort really. But to be honest, if you really wanna get good at daygame, as I've said many times before, you have to move to somewhere where you've got basic logistics. You know? So you gotta come into London or into New York or into a big city. If you're living on a farm in Kansas, then it's not really gonna work. Remember when I learned daygame, in my book, daygame, with the first 100 lays in London, mostly I was living in Zone 3, I think it is, in Wimbledon. And then I moved a bit closer. I was in Earlsfield. Then I moved a bit closer. I was in Earls Court. And then I finally around the time I was getting to my hundredth lay, I moved to Marble Arch. But like I said, be imaginative, find logistics in terms of toilets, in terms of private places. There's a lot. Just ask daygamers in London if you need those tips. Alright. Jonathan says, how to maintain your skills during a relationship. Big topic. Good topic. Let's say you get into a relationship, and it's not just for a few months, but it could be half a year, a year. Yet, those qualities that you learn are gonna start slipping. So carry on flirting. Flirt, especially even in front of your girlfriend. This is classic game advice. Girls love it. The jealousy plot line is very powerful. It turns them on knowing that their boyfriend is still an alpha male or has got alpha male qualities. So in public teaser, slap her ass, push her into her into a dustbin, keep the cocky funny going, keep the flirtation and the banter going with your girlfriend and with everybody else. So I do it with waitresses in front of girls that I'm dating. I do it with groups so she can see me interacting and bantering with groups. Flirt at any given opportunity. If you're not with your girlfriend, then yeah, practice flirting, perhaps even stopping girls and giving compliments. You don't have to take phone numbers if you wanna be all ethical about it. Some guys, of course, carry on having sex while they have girlfriends or they carry on going on dates or they carry on doing crazy things just to keep your skills sharp because you do. So even if you're a married man, especially if you're a married man because remember, marriage is not a hiding place from the sexual market value sexual marketplace rather. You need to maintain your sexual market value by leading, dominating, being cheeky, keeping that flirtatiousness about you. All the things that are the opposite of the classic beta nice guy, needy guy. So just watch out for the needy behavior creeping back in. It's a very good question. We'll do another podcast on that another time because it's so good. Bricks says, Bricks says oh, I missed one. I'll go back to Xander first, then I'll come on to you, Bricks. Xander says, how do you approach a group of girls? Often, see groups, but when I approach one girl I like, the others are either friends either the friends they like or they try to bait me into a bickering war. Okay. Again, watch out for negative thought patterns, negative weasels about, you know, friends trying to bait you into some kind of war. Rise above it. Enjoy the game. It's just a dance. Girls are doing this unconsciously if they're shit testing you. And in terms of groups, we're straight back into Mystery Method. Okay? So learning how to work a group of girls, learning how to befriend everybody, disarm the obstacles, talk to the cock block, remain positive, use a wing. All this is is classic mystery method. It's much more common in the night and in bars. In the daytime, to be honest, Alexander, I would only ever go to a maximum of two girls. So one guy on two gills, I talk about this in my book daygame, or even better, you in a wing with two gills and then double bounce for an instant date, especially in gutter game, this works. If I look at my statistics for all of my approaches to dates delays, you can see that the magic really happens. The sexual daygame happens with single girls because they don't feel slutty. They don't feel like their friends are judging them. You can create this mezma. You can create this bubble. It's a lot more powerful. When a friend is there, when you're doing a two set, it's a lot more jokey. You kind of stay in the attraction mode. You never really bed it down. You never really ground it. You never get into good rapport. Sure. On YouTube, a lot of guys do crazy stuff. You know, girls riding unicycles with monkeys on their heads and, how to open a girl who's juggling, how to open 16 girls on a beach. That's just monkey tricks. Alright? That's just flash game. If you wanna know about getting laid consistently in a big city, just do it on single girls. Don't make it harder. Maximum two girls with a wing. Right. Bricks. Two question says, he says he's been trying our selection game. I come off, he says, as incongruent when I show my sexual intent. I don't feel entitled in saying stuff like, you're sexy to girls. How do I overcome this inner game hurdle? Our selected game, he's talking about, is the new style of daygame in the last couple of years. People like myself, Krauser, Steve Jabber's always been a proponent of this. I'm being a slightly different way that it's bad boy. It's love a daygame. It's fast. It's sexual. It's leading. It's dominating. It's escalating quickly. It's taking no prisoners. I'm not saying you have to start like this. In my guide, beginner daygame, we actually discourage beginners from starting like this because first, you have to learn the nice guy daygame, which is the old style of boyfriend daygame, where you just learn how to talk to people, how to get comfortable in conversations, how to get comfortable with basic spiking, basic flirting, going on one date, two date, three date, escalating, pulling. Then after one year, two years of doing game, you will become tired of that anyway, naturally. So you'll start to compress, condense what you're doing, make it faster, take more risks. You'll be giving off a natural bad boy vibe. You might have changed your fashion, but more importantly, you'll have changed your vibe. So yet, it has to come from a place of strength, a place of experience. Try using the word sexy though bricks in your interactions. I talk about this in my street hustle video, statement of intent. I know it feels weird, especially for a nice guy to say to a girl, your accent is sexy, or your eye color is sexy, or your walk is sexy, or that's a sexy strut you've got, whatever. But that's just a baby step. But I agree, before you do our selection game, just get used to the classic boyfriend kind of game and then ramp it up bit by bit. Second part of your question, you say, I read PUA advice before that one should field test game tactics 10 times to determine whether or not it works. In your opinion, what do you think is the ideal sample size to assess whether a tactic works for me? That's a fluid question because it's based on how quickly you learn from your errors, how long you've been doing it. Girls are not robots. Game is not science. It's an art. So it's fluid. But I would personally test something for a week, which for the average daygamer means 50 approaches. Yep, I've always said the schedule is Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or three times a week, you do 10 approaches in no more than two hours for each session. So 10 approaches for each session. And then a long day on the weekend, maybe three or four hours, 20 approaches. So that's a total of 50 a week. That's good enough to test a new thing, like learning the eye mesmer, learning to mini bounce, learning to qualify, learning to challenge, learning to do the marathoner move, learning to instant date, trying a certain cocky funny thing, trying a certain spike, trying a certain element of our selection game, as you said, trying to dial things down, trying to do a different stack, trying a different level of humor, trying a different level of challenging, trying different fashion. These are factors I agree. There are certain things you can field test strictly, but remember, week on week, month on month, city on city, changing your wing. There's so many variables. And girls are not static mathematical geological rocks where you can just do, you know, nice laboratory quantifiable testing. No. Daygame is called the pickup art. It's not the pickup science. So be fluid. Keep it fluid. Keep it fun. Keep it sparky. Keep it light. But, yeah, test stuff before you write it on forums. Golden rule. Okay. A guy whose name I can sadly not read, because it's in Chinese characters. He says, how many girls do you have to approach to become above average? Again, to bricks question, that is a fluid question with a fluid answer. Depends on the guy, depends on your starting point, depends on your previous experience with girls. But the yardstick I usually say is get the London daygame model down in its basic form, that's about 200 approaches. Now I've just said if you're doing 50 approaches a week, that's only a month. A month of daygame to learn, the beginner daygame system. Check out the PDF, the beginner daygame system. So that's how to open, that's how to stack, that's how to vibe, that's how to get to invest, that's how to get it to close. Then anywhere from 200 approaches to a thousand approaches, so that's six months, maybe a year, guys become average. They're laying one younger, hotter gill a month from daygame, possibly a little bit more. They're in control. They feel they're in control of their dating lives. Mean, if you're laying 12 hot or younger girls a year, that's way more than a guy's average lifetime notch count. So that's good. If you're getting two girls a month, I. E. 24 girls a year, you are above average, you're getting too advanced. Any more than that, and you really do have massive abundance, and you are in control in your city. So at least daygame for six months to a year. And if nothing's happening after that, you need to take a good hard rain check. And let me bring up a question, an email question, because that's exactly what this email question was about. This was from Tom. I don't know where you live, but your question was about this. You say you've been daygaming for about a year. You've done over a thousand approaches. You haven't had any lays. You don't mind playing the long game. You don't mind going on lots and lots of dates, but you're not even getting that. You've done a thousand approaches. You've been daygaming over a year. No lays. Okay. And I answered that email. I'll read out the the answer that I gave to Tom. I said a thousand approaches and no lays means something is off. It's hard to tell without meeting you and seeing your game. Think about the following. Is your fashion slash grooming slash health sorted out? Is your SMV, I. E, sorted out? Or is there something massively off that's scaring off the girls? Number two, are you trying more of the bad boy and not the nice guy stuff? So the leading, the escalating, being cocky, being flirty, being physical. Because if you're still trapped in the nice guy box after a thousand approaches, it's not gonna work. The next thing I said, number three, was do the girls know what you want? Are you a sexual threat? That links to the second point. Next one, I said, are your sets long enough? I e, five to ten minutes. Because if you're still having two minute quick interactions in a big city like London, they're gonna flake. Alright? So either do instant dates or get your interactions somewhere between five and ten minutes, embed it down with grounding, investment via qualification, getting her to, connect with you. Yeah? I said, are your logistics sorted? Are you coming across as needy? Are those needy behaviors still there because of a lack of options? Is your vibe light, fun, cool, confident, or are you very serious, even angry with the women, blaming the women? And then I said some other stuff about a friend he was talking about, but we won't go into that. So if you've done a thousand approaches, you've done a year of daygame and nothing is clicking, then perhaps you're making things worse by repeating negative, or detrimental patterns again and again and again. If you keep doing the wrong thing again and again and again, you're going to ingrain that. Imagine a bad tennis serve that you just practice over and over again even though it's bad. This is why you need a coach or somebody who's better than you, or you need to video yourself or audio record yourself, take a stock check and say, something's off. If I don't know what it is, I need to ask for help. A wing that's better than me. Pay a guy for one hour who's better than you to to look at you, video yourself, and watch you. Something is off. Okay? Alright. Let's move on because I'm aware of time. Talet says, how do you get back into the game after a very harsh and self esteem and ego crushing breakup where your ego does everything in its power to keep you from getting rejected anymore by approaching? Very good question. Sorry to hear of your battle scars. Tell her if you've just gone through that breakup. I sympathize. I empathize with you, and hope things are improving. Yes. Going out and gaming will help. Okay. But baby steps because I appreciate that if you're full of anger, bitterness, you're still upset. You can't just jump in and be mister positive and be mister flirty with hot gills. So baby steps, getting back into just socializing, getting back into your hobbies, spending time with your friends. Yep. Getting back into doing compliments, hit and run things, getting back into just flirting with coffee shop staff, waitresses, getting back into perhaps even indirect game. If you're full of fear, there's nothing wrong with indirect game, as I say in beginner daygame. You can go up to girls in Trafalgar Square or a nice sleepy place like Union Square in New York, Washington Square, ask for the time, ask for directions. You can do a bit of indirect direct. In a supermarket, just bantering with a girl about her purchases, making fun of her, and then move into direct game. That can be standing girls, waiting girls, seated girls, and then you can start jumping in front of girls, upping the sexual intent, and the baby steps will take you to an enjoyment, hopefully. And baby steps will take you to some results and a feeling of abundance, a feeling of options. You're back in control. If you're really crushed at the moment, then perhaps get into something completely unrelated to women. You know? Get back on your fitness. Get back into your traveling. Get back into your hobbies, but spend time with friends and family. Alright? Make sure it's a clean break. The classic principle of if you've got an injury, let it heal. Don't keep tinkering with the stitches or the the plaster. You'll get infected. It'll get worse. So a nice clean break. I know it's painful, but she's out of your life. You're out of her life. You don't communicate until you're in a relationship or she's in a relationship or ideally even further. Okay? That's a topic for another time. Ali, same question, I think, as the one we answered before about losing your mojo. He's lost all his passion and motivation for daygame. It's been a year. He's feeling depressed. I'm paraphrasing this question. The old days of depression and anxiety coming back, nothing matters to him anymore. Ali, this sounds more serious than just have being fed up with daygame. This sounds like losing the mojo for lots and lots of other things. And if we're talking about depression and anxiety clinically, don't just tell me about it, but tell a family member or a good friend about it, or tell an anonymous GP or local doctor about it. I'm not saying get on medication because before, I don't recommend medication for depression and anxiety unless it's really, really serious, and the doctor will tell you if it's really, really serious. First of all, he should recommend things like lots of exercise, switching up your diet for nutrition, lots of sleep, lots of time with friends and family, lots of projects, keeping busy. Okay? Boredom is the worst thing for getting, into your head, getting all those dark feelings and thoughts flooding your brain. So keeping busy with projects. Men should have projects. Avoiding boredom. Throwing yourself into a project, into work, into a passion. Travel always, can lift people's depression and anxiety. Sure, temporarily, but it it gives you a window, where you can step back and take stock. But if you're really still feeling serious and you're listening to this, you think like you feel like things have got too much, then sure send me an email, tom@tomtorero.com, but go and make an appointment with a GP and let him know what's going on, what the physical symptoms are, what the mental symptoms are. Alright. Keep in touch, and I hope things improve for you. I think is how you say the next guy. The next question, how to keep emotionally healthy and deal with the lows of the bachelor lifestyle, especially when you meet good and attractive girls that you let go to keep on your path. Another good question. That is good. I do kind of answer that in, my second book, Torero Travels, and in my new product, Flow Mad. It's about the balance, and I call it the Torero table, where you have girls, as one leg, girls and sex. The other leg, have your work, your project. The other leg, have friends and family. And what's the other leg? You have your health, so nutrition and your fitness. And when you have the balance, however cliched and trite and self developmental that sounds, you find stability. So sure, you can get low with the daygame bachelor lifestyle. I talk about that in Torero Travels a lot. I even talk about that in Baddas Buddha at the end. The last module of Baddas Buddha is me having a moan about how despite doing that world tour or now having done many world tours, you sit on your bed and you think, well, I can't escape from me. The common denominator wherever I go is me. And then you realize you need to bring other things into your life. Guys mistake that and think I mean that you need to be this super well rounded, perfect guy, perfect health, perfect fitness, perfect fashion, perfect family and friends, perfect passions to get the girls. No. A lot of guys that are really, really good with girls are dropouts. They're just dicks. They're cocky. They live in their mom's basement. They have no hygiene, they have no health, they just spend their whole time chasing girls and they're very, very good at it. So don't use this kind of life coaching excuse that you need to get that sorted before you get the girls sorted. That's not true. I'm just saying the opposite actually that you can get really, really good with girls, but it doesn't sort out the other areas of your life. So once you come through the other side and you realize that game is the Trojan horse, then you can start working on all these other things. I'm not claiming to have done this or be perfect. I'm still struggling with that question, Joanna. It's a very, good question, which will be a constant theme for me in the next few years, I'm sure. Paul says, Tom, you have said once the instant dates are usually a waste of time for advanced day gamers unless going for the same delay. But when a girl has nothing to do, even if she's not that into me, is it best to try for an instant date and a same delay? Because if she won't fuck me, then it wouldn't make sense that she'd fuck me on a day two. And you say you've been getting a lot of same delays, but with yes girls, super yes girls. Okay. Well, that's fine. Good if you're getting loads of same delays and happy days. Yes girls are gifts from God for putting in the hard work and being out on the streets, Paul. Yeah. I don't do instant dates anymore because once you've got your day game sorted and it's sharp and it's quick and it's efficient, it made no, difference to my, number to date ratio. For beginners, it's good because it gets more face to face time with a girl. It gives you a chance to practice your conversation skills, to practice a bit of dating skills. But for some beginners and intermediates, same the instant date can be dangerous because you sink into rapport or you sink further into the quicksand of rapport. Talking turns girls off. Long talks over coffee is quite gay, turns girls off, puts you into the friend box or the make him wait boyfriend box. So yeah, if you've got a good five to ten minutes of sharp daygame, get the number and get out of there and get her on a date and then escalate. Same day lays usually involve an instant date. That's why I say, if I come across a girl who's same day lay or I think she's like a super strong maybe girl or a yes girl, take her from the street to a coffee shop, spike from the coffee shop to a bar, lots of spike in interduction from the bar back to your house, escalate. Yep. But if you're an intermediate and an advanced day gamer and you're not interested in same delays, just you wanna, you know, beast number farm and then go for delays on the day two, which is what you should be doing anyway, optimizing your game, compressing your game. I've got a podcast on that fast escalation. Have a listen to that. Then you don't really need the instant dates. I don't really like having coffee with girls. Alright. Last two questions. Jonathan says, how to properly game a conference? It's a bit like the what if girls smell bad question, Jonathan. I don't really know what you mean. Do you mean a conference as in an academic conference, a meeting where you're warm approaching and networking? That's fine. You can go indirect, but be flirty because all the other guys will be chodey. They'll all be in rapport. So just flirt, spike it up a little bit, but you don't have to go super sexual. And all you're looking for is getting her details. And, yeah, you can be a little bit weasley, get it under the pretext of networking, a bit like the guys do at salsa or guys do at meetups or networking events. But as long as you're flirty, you're different from the other guys, you're cocky, you're cheeky, you're well groomed, you're winking at her, she knows what's what. It's a great plausible deniability that you exchange details about your business, about the conference, and then you get her on a date and become the player. I think that's what you mean. I hope that's what you mean. If not, we'll talk about it another time. The last question from Pavi the great. Hope you're alright, Pavi. Cheers for all the support over the years, mate. Pavi is an old student of mine, and you ask another very good question with an unusual answer. He says, why has daygame in London become harder, or is that just in my head? As you might have guessed, probably, it's 99.999% likely that it's just in your head. Why is it just in your head? Because you've been doing day game like I have for a long time. And I think with you, perhaps weariness might have set in or day game fatigue has set in, burnout set in, apathy set in. You've been walking the same streets, perhaps with the same wing, doing the same approaches. So you might have become a bit static, a bit robotic, you've lost the passion and the drive. And that links to the earlier question we were talking about how to rekindle that. London doesn't get harder. Remember, there's always new tourists. Every year, there's what? 17,000,000 tourists. Every year, there's new uni students. Every year, more girls become 18. Hot girls move in, hot girls move out. London is so transient like New York. Don't believe this. Weasel this excuse of daygamers become popular. All girls know what we're doing. Guys often think, you know, daygame is cultish and it's this secret. And if a lot of guys do it, then they're gonna know what we're doing. It's like, oh, no. She's read the game. Well, the thing about daygame is that you're just hitting on them explicitly. You're being cocky. You're being direct. And if she asks you, you know, are you doing daygame? Or is this game you just say, look. I find you attractive. I'm hitting on you. Anyway, you said you're from Germany, blah blah blah. Stack forward and vibe. Yeah. Rise above it. It's a shit test. So like I said for the other question, ignore the shit test with non reactivity or cocky funny, agree and amplify, and carry on. So a lot of guys worry about that. Sure. If you're standing in Oxford Circus outside Topshop at 05:30 after work or all day Saturday, you're a moron. I'm not saying you're moron, Pavi. I'm shouting at my audience here. Be imaginative. I've got a whole podcast on the secret spots of London daygame where you can go, for example, to the Tower Of London. There's loads of tourists or you can go to Westfield Stratford. Never see any daygamers there. You can go to the London School of Economics campus, which is an open campus. No daygamers there. You can go inside the Natural History Museum. No daygamers. You can go to Kings Road. No daygamers. Okay? So switch it up. Get your va va voom back. Get your mojo back, especially because it's the summer. Or, Pavi, like I said to the other guy, take a bit of a break. Take some time off. Either do something else or switch it up. Go to a new city. Try different wings. Get the passion back. And all these questions are reminders to me as well. Not claiming that I've solved all these issues in this podcast. Answering these questions prompts me to switch it up, get my mojo back, not be needy. Think about negativity towards girls. Think about unplugging, think about the balance between having a girlfriend or being a player. These are questions that I hope bond us as guys, not in a bondage way, but we we all think about these issues. There's no right or wrong answers. There's no quick fixes. That's why I like daygame. That's why I say daygame and game. It's every man's right. It's the Trojan horse, and you can use it for good or for bad, but it's a bonding thing without the latex. Okay. That was podcast 25. I need a drink. My voice is as dry as a virgin nun's vagina. Until next time. Ta da.