---
title: Episode 31 Love, Logistics & Libido (Q&A)
episode_number: 31
era: early
source_file: Episode 31 Love, Logistics & Libido (Q&A).mp3
audio_size_mb: 75.1
duration_sec: 2461.4
duration_min: 41.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.999
transcribed_at: 2026-05-27T17:15:22Z---

# Episode 31 Love, Logistics & Libido (Q&A)

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 31 from Paddington in Central London. I'm on my way in transit tomorrow to Poland for, you could say, the second half of the round the world Torero below the belt tour. Because from Poland, I'll be going to Kazakhstan, and then through London, I'll be going to Spain and Brazil, and then back through London to Japan over the next few months. But it's not really a complete round the world because I'm not doing it all in one go. There's some stopovers. Last time was far too mental. And I'm doing some teaching in London, bits and bobs in London. But anyway, exciting times ahead. Today's podcast, podcast 31, is all about plunging my hand deep inside this warm mailbag that's brimming over, overflowing in front of me with listeners' questions. Mostly today sourced from my Twitter. That's right, gentlemen. I've come late to the party. I have joined Twitter. So these were tweeted at me. It reminds me of that quote that's often posted on Facebook. Come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook. So thank you if you've sent in a question. And in the future, I'm answering less questions via YouTube or my Facebook or even random ones emailed to me. So if you've got a question for a future podcast, send it to me as a tweet. First question from John. Let's dive in. He says, I'm thinking Budapest, I. E, Hungary, might be my next daygame trip. Can you recommend any specific locations for accommodation, daygame, etcetera? Now I'm gonna read two more questions that are of a similar nature. Chris has asked me, how did you find Barcelona for daygame, Tom? Recommendable. What to avoid there and where to go, question mark. And John d says, do you have any inside tips for Oxford? Alright. Three questions all about daygame and travel and flow mad stuff. A little bit of tough love, first of all, in that Tom Torero, I'm not really a travel agent. You're gonna have a different experience to me when you go to these places even though I've daygamed in, all three of those cities, Budapest, Barcelona, and Oxford. You're gonna find it different depending on your level, your ability, the type of girls you like, how long you're going for, what else you're gonna do in the city, how you like that vibe, how you like the weather, etcetera, etcetera. So that's the first point. Never take any man's game word as gospel because usually it's about whether a guy, even myself, got laid in that city. If you got laid nice and quick and easy with a hottie, you think, yeah, I love that city. Like for me, I'll always love Prague because the first time I went to Prague I thought it was amazing. You might love Amsterdam because you might have had the same day lay in Amsterdam. Whereas if I hadn't got laid early on in Prague, might say, ah, shit, no point going. So there's always that bias. The second point, the bigger point is that, come on gents, man up and dive in. Okay? If you're gonna go to a city, any big touristy city, first of all, out how many people live there, how many tourists go there. And how do you find the good daygame areas in a city? Well, just find the shops. I always say where there are shops, there are girls. Where there are posh shops, there are usually hotter girls or more, you know, Dolce Gabbana ish kind of plastic fantastic girls. Find the shopping street. Is it pedestrian? Find the university. If it's in full swing, find where the tourists roam around. So obviously, for Budapest, it's obvious. There's a shopping street parallel to the river. You know where the tourist sites are gonna be because they're plastered all over maps. Find shopping centers if it's too hot or too cold. Barcelona, even easier. I'll give you a clue. Plaza Catalonia, start from there. Look for a shopping center. Look for the main shopping streets, and all will be well. Okay? Same for Oxford even. Even if you said to me, Carly, for Oxford, find where Topshop is, find where Zara is, find where H and M is, find where the indoor little markets are. There you go. Give it a try. That's the most important thing. You might love it or you might hate it. If you want more information about these things, you could read Torero Travels. I cover Budapest in there, and I cover Barcelona in there. You could watch a bit of Flow Mad if you wanna know more about Prague. But even more importantly, don't take my word for it. Don't especially take a guy on a forum's word for it. Alright? Or word-of-mouth fisherman's tales like so and so. Such and such a place is so easy or such and such a place is like this or Swedish gills are so easy. As I say in Torero travels, go and find out for yourself. First of all, I recommend just two days in a city to give it a reconnaissance, a bit like I'm gonna do in Kazakhstan for a week. See what it's like. See how many IOIs you get. See what logistics are like. See what cost is like. See what your results are like. That's most important. How many opens? How many number closes? How many instant dates? How many texted back? How many dates? How many kisses? How many lays? There you go. So I know I sound like I'm having a moment, please, guys, don't email me for travel information. If you haven't done a little bit of work yourself, giving it a go. Sure. Don't mind if you've given it a go and you've got a specific question, but for the basics on any of these cities, give it a go. Alright. Enough moaning. Onto a real question. Mike Davis. Interesting question, Mike. He says, who is your best student? What do you look for in a soon to be successful one? I've never answered that question before. You should never have favorites. That's what a good teacher says. But of course, I remember my best student and he turned out he turned into an instructor and a good friend of mine, and he's a guy called Sam. He worked for me for a while before moving to Spain. He's out in Spain. And I think I taught Sam on a boot camp three, four years ago when he was 18 or 19. I'm sure he can correct me. But how did I know he was gonna be great? Well, on the boot camp, he had enthusiasm. He was like a puppy dog. He was full of energy. He was keen. He'll admit himself. He was horny for girls and horny for success. You know, he was buzzing on life. Big smile on his face, positivity. So definitely no moaning or whinging or why me stories. This was a man who I knew or rather a boy at the time who was a machine. He had set his mind to it, and before we'd even done the warm up, he was racing off. He was going for it. He was jumping in. And more importantly, he wasn't just spam approaching, obviously, after that. He was approaching, listening to advice, applying it, and then approaching again. Rinse and repeat. That's how you get great at something. Alright? It's effective learning. It's not a mystery. You can do it for any skill set. So after the boot camp, he went out with another boot camp student and they just hit it so hard. For about a year, Sam hit it. Even with poor logistics, living with his parents outside London, he would come into Central London, have days where he would just beast it like marathon days, collect loads of phone numbers. And because this is great. Because he had such bad logistics, he couldn't really take the girls to his mom's or he didn't want to. He would improvise and he got laid with girls in parks, toilets. We let him use our logistics sometimes. He was he just found a way. And you need that hunger to be successful at anything. If it comes too easy, if it's on a plate, you don't have that fire in your belly. And Sam did. And within a year, I think he had slept with a beautiful model from Milan and that just blew his head off. The girls I saw him with, were fantastic. And I wish him well for what he's doing in Spain right now. I haven't seen him for a while, but he went on to teach daygame. I'm not sure if he still is teaching in Spain, but, he's finished uni and he just got it. He he understood as well the fundamental principles behind why these techniques worked. You know, he got the whole red pill thing, not in a online academic way. You can tell I'm in London. I'm about to be arrested. See? Not in not understanding it in a in an academic way, but he understood it from his time on the street. And that's the best way to understand this knowledge. But good question, Mike. Alright. Next question. Boris Plotkin says, what's your schedule for the next month? Oh, Ben, this is boomer t v asks the same. Countries do you plan to visit in the near future? Well, like I said in the beginning of the podcast, I'll be revisiting Poland, first time Kazakhstan, revisiting Spain, first time Brazil, first time Japan. That really rounds off my year. I hope to make it back to Moscow as well in chilly, wintery, snowy December. But it's been one hell of a year for traveling new countries, so that's quite enough to feast on for this year. I'll tell you more about my travel plans another time. Alright. Next Twitter question from a Twitter user with Taiwanese characters in his name, I think. I apologies. I couldn't read it, not being a fluent Taiwanese speaker myself. He says, when you get a number from a girl and find out she's not available later in the week, how will you do on text game? I guess he means what do you do on text game? Well, that's cool. If you're listening to this, first of all, pause the podcast and go and watch my texting video, Torero texting. And I talk about my texting model because it's very common. You get her number. You send a few texts back and forth. You pull the trigger. You ask her out, and she's busy. So the worst thing to do would be to just jump on her again and immediately ask her, okay. Are you free this day? And she says no. And you send another one going, are you free on this day? How about this day? This day. This day. This day. See? Do you feel the pull? Which, rather than being persistent, becomes creepy and needy, low value. Alright? Screams of scarcity. So what you need to do is go back to the beginning and just start pinging her again. If you don't know what pings are, I've written about this extensively. You're not asking her a question. You're just telling her what you're doing in your day, and then maybe then asking her something cheeky. So you might just say, you know, just eaten a delicious steak. Feel like a caveman. How about you? Question mark. Alright. And what that is trying to do is just remind to you there remind to you're not a chode or needy or desperate or boring. How are you? How was your day? What are you doing? Those kind of questions. She should be amused. She should smile when she gets your message. She should reply. And then you just need to keep doing that until you feel like she's on the hook like a good fisherman, and then reel her in with another invitation. Do that a few times. If she's still playing you along after a few weeks, she's playing you along. You're just giving her attention, so cut her off and see if she pings back like a boomerang. I'll come on to boomerangs and my theory for boomerang girls and boomerang principles in a street hustle video coming at you. Alright. Mohammed asks a religious question. I don't mean the meaning of life, but about religious girls. How to manipulate religious beliefs. I guess you didn't wanna use that word manipulate as a translation thing. How to manipulate religious beliefs about sex in girls' mind like it's a bad sin? I think that question means how to overcome a religious girl who has strong beliefs and she has been brought up to think brought up to think that sex is a sin. Like in most world religions, yep, sex before marriage is a sin. Sexual thoughts, lustful desires, looking at other looking at the opposite sex, yep, it's a sin that needs confession and cleansing and Hail Marys or whatever the equivalent is in Islam. But the good news, Mohammed, here's the good news. I have seduced many Muslim girls. That is girls from, London who are of the Muslim faith or girls from Morocco, girls from Egypt, girls from Lebanon, girls in Iran. I had an Iranian girlfriend. Many girls from Turkey. I had a beautiful Turkish girlfriend. And their families were strict Muslims. Okay? I've seduced one evangelical Christian, if you know what that is, pretty happy clappy, you know, hardcore. And this this strangest religious girl I've seduced, a virgin belonged to the cultish or rather cultish Baha'i faith. You can look that up. And she'd never even touched the guy, you know, held his hand or kissed the guy. And then it took me a while to daygame her, but I did. And I slept with her. So what's the message of all these stories? It is that biology is stronger than religion. That's why, you know, priests sin, people of congregations sin, have biology, I e I e your desire to eat, your desire to protect yourself and your family, your desire to have shelter, your desire to procreate and reproduce. These are so hardwired, and they existed millions of years before, the sociological, psychological, you could say, phenomena, the meme that is religion. Alright? Religion, you can argue for sure, has a survival benefit. That's why it evolved. It evolved numerous times, and it's such a strong meme in our minds, religion, like politics, but even stronger. It has survival benefit because believing in a deity, believing that all will be well, fighting for a cause, you know, this aids an individual's survival. Anyway, let's not get into whether religion is right or wrong or the meaning of religion or which religion is the best. But just to say that girls have these needs, wants, and desires, and they don't go away. And what I call in my first book, daygame, I call this the pressure cooker effect. The the you know this from when your mom and dad used to say to you, don't do that. Don't do that. You're not allowed to do that. There's that famous YouTube video and experiment where they put a, candy or a box in front of kids, I think, and say, you know, don't whatever you do, I'm gonna leave the room, but don't open the box, Or you gotta wait five minutes and then you can eat the candy. And, of course, the kid opens the box or eats the candy. It's that desire. So girls have this. And the more you say no, especially in strict Muslim girls or strict Christian girls, they feel ultra horny. So when they get the chance away from prying eyes, and they're out of their country perhaps learning English here in London or you can get them sneakily away from their families, they go crazy. So some of the craziest girls I've ever slept with have been Muslim girls, virgins, the the Baha'i girl, the evangelical girl. They've they wanna try all this stuff with you. Okay? So don't worry. Don't see it as manipulation. I don't see it as a sin. Like I said, I'm not gonna go into religious beliefs, but just know that it's very, very possible. It actually probably works in your favor. Alright? A virgin girl wants to try something. So remember secret society principles and the power of DNA replication, the power of biology. Have faith, Mohammed. Okay. Tom asks another practical question. Can you go over how to get back to her place if you live with parents and how to get her to agree to go back if she said no? Alright. I guess you mean like a soft no, not as in a weird no that you're trying to overcome. Okay. I've already mentioned Sam had this problem. My mate, Sam, he lived with his parents more than an hour away from London. So first of all, you can improvise. Alright? If you can't go to yours or hers, in most big cities, there's parks and secluded areas. You might have a beach. In Santa Monica, it's under the pier. A bit more seedy in London, have disabled toilets, some very nice ones in posh hotels. Getting a hotel room, we'll come back onto. All right? Because that's probably the hardest one. But going back to hers, how do you do it? Well, in the date, on the date, first of all, I want you to test her logistics. That means weaving in logistical questions. You can slip in that she can't come back to yours because you're having building work done or you've got relatives around or la de la de la. So first of all, knows that. Then you're gonna weave in questions like, so what part of London do you live in? Or how far from the center do you live in? Who do you live with? Alright. Oh, you're in a tiny room or do you like share your room? La la la la la. How do you get from here to yours? Oh, it's a bus. Oh, it's a tube. Oh, how far is that in a taxi? These are all logistical questions. And you'll find out, importantly, does she live with her sister? Does she live with her boyfriend? Does she live with her parents? Does she live in a hostel with 20 beds in the room? Or does she have her own place which is just around the corner? That's testing logistics. Then once you know that, you're gonna weave in seeding the bounds. Alright? I mentioned all this stuff on my how to date video as well. So you're not asking all these questions like a police officer in a row. You're weaving them in. Alright? She shouldn't notice. Seeding the bounce means finding a reason to go back to hers. Or if you wanna use the disabled toilet, finding a reason to use the disabled toilet or find a reason to walk in the park, you know. Show her that tree planted by your great great grandfather that you just have to see in the middle of the park or that view from Primrose Hill you have to see. Or as Dave Diggler says, the graffiti by Banksy in the toilet that you have to come and see with a smile on your face. So you might say to her, oh, she mentions her records. And you say, oh, yeah. Yeah. I'd love to love to check out the record collection. Or she might say she's really good at making smoothies. And you'd say, okay. We can have like a smoothie competition at yours. Right? I'll make one and then you can make one. Or she might say she plays the piano and you can go back and she can teach you the piano. You can bring some food over to hers. You can bring a movie over to hers. You can bring something to suggest like, okay, I bring this. You provide the location. It's like, I'll bring the popcorn. You provide the home cinema. Bingo bango. And again, jump in a taxi. Girls know what it means. Okay? Girls that wanna get laid will kinda help you get laid even with this little token token resistance LMR, whatever. Girls know. So a smile on your face when you say, look. Yeah. I'll grab a bottle of wine. You show me that jazz piano you said. Let's go. Stop stop a taxi. Get in. She'll know. Okay? You shouldn't be tricking a girl back to go back to hers. And if she says no, as in I'm not sure, it's the principle of manning up, leading, stopping the taxi, going for it. Alright? I've had to come that many to overcome that many times. Read my first book, most of the lay stories where I went back to her house. You have to be pretty persistent. If it's obviously a strong no, you just stop the date. You roll off. That means take a step back, light kiss, say goodnight, then set up the next date. Alright? Logistics is in your control. It is a big part. But like Sam did, Sam got laid with loads and loads of girls without taking them back to his or going back to hers. He improvised. Maybe you know some friends with better logistics and you can borrow their sofa or borrow their room. Work it out. Again, it's a bit like the travel questions. Part of getting good with games, figuring this stuff out practically. Alright? Not just hypothetically in your mind. But anyway, I hope that helps. Neon rebel asks, hey, Tom. How do you reduce spam approaching? Focusing on a high approach rate can make interactions quick and spammy. Good question because I'm always nagging guys to approach more. It's probably the biggest sticking point that guys just don't do it enough during the day. But if they are doing a high volume of approaching, you're right. It could be spammy. I that's just running up to a girl going, hi. You look nice. What's your number? Hi. You look nice. What's your number? It's called find the yes girl. It's really daygame with no skill, just doing mass trawling, mass fishing. And it can get you laid, but it makes you feel weird. It gives the street a weird vibe. The guilt feels like it's very fast, and it just requires luck. So we need a middle way. Not approach anxiety, not approaching, and not spammy approaching. The middle way would be to set target and do the same amount every week. I always say between thirty and fifty or 10 every time you go out. Try and do 10 in two hours. And make those approaches effective. Make them count. So you approach, maybe do two or three approaches, and then stop and think about, okay, what happened then? What was the pattern? What can I try to correct that sticking point? Then make a correction, try again, and evaluate. Try again, correct, evaluate. This is effective learning. This is how you learn any skill set from playing the guitar to tennis, to martial arts, to daygame. Having a wing obviously helps to watch you and listen to you with wireless microphones. Recording yourself with m p threes or dictaphone, that makes you evaluate. I'm not saying micromanage and evaluate everything. And as I say in the book, beginner daygame. If you're a complete newbie, complete beginner, don't evaluate anything. Your job is just to leave the house and start talking to girls, let's say, for the first 100 approaches. But after that, yeah, you wanna think what's going on? Where am I on the London daygame model continuity sticking point line. You know? Have a look at my, sheet that I use with students. There's a video and a PDF for free on YouTube where I give away my teaching criteria, my teaching checklist, and maybe your sticking point is the open, or it's the stacking, or it's the vibing and getting the hook. Is it getting her to invest? Is it closing strong? There's so many things that could be going wrong. So, yeah, stop, think, evaluate, change, correct, try again. Make each approach count. Alright. Lots and lots of tweets from this dude. Very keen. His Twitter name is however it's me. I think he asked me five or six questions. I don't know if I can answer them all now. It depends how long each one takes. Let's give it a go. But I like your like your cockiness in asking all these questions. Right. He says, how do you deal with the ethical aspects which come from daygame? By that, I mean, how do you cope with breaking girls' hearts and girls falling in love with you and maybe you can think of other aspects. I'm tired to think anymore. I love that line. Maybe you can think of other aspects I'm tired to think anymore. However, it's me. You should watch my love letters part two. You'll see why I'm laughing there. Alright. Be careful. There's no white knight in that question. So be careful you're not kind of chody, overly romantic coming from scarcity. I will always love you mindset. Okay? No. I'm not denying love exists, but I am saying be careful if you're in scarcity of Disneyfied love oneitis. But okay. The ethical aspects. I don't follow ethical codes, you could say, when it comes to game, because game is getting laid. So I'm in it to get laid. I'm not thinking about Christian morals or traditional ethics in terms of right and wrong. It's a bit like a fight. I don't think a boxer thinks about the the ethical underlying things going on. A fight is a fight. Getting laid is getting laid. I'm not saying do illegal things. I'm just saying, you know, you gotta be horny. You gotta be in it. So do you break your heart sometimes? Yeah. Did they break yours? Yeah. That's the name of the game. You know, you're gonna lose and you're gonna win. And in the SMV hustle, somebody usually wins or loses. Either you get the sex off the girl without committing to a relationship, or she gets the relationship out of you and you lose your right to wrong. You could say that's the definition of the SMV, sexual market value hustle. If you haven't seen my video on the sexual marketplace, watch that, mate. It'll explain a bit more. But in terms of breaking girls' hearts, that happens to me less and less now. Okay? In the last two, three years, that's happened less and less. In the beginning, when you start all this, you're probably giving off a very boyfriend vibe, And you're taking girls on three, four, five, six dates. Maybe you're taking them out to dinner, the cinema, going for walks, holding hands, doing couple y stuff. And quite rightly, girls think you want to be their boyfriend. And then when you have sex and run away, they call you things like bastard, player, dick, selfish, liar, etcetera, etcetera. And you kind of deserve it. And in my first book, daygame, where I go over those a 100 lay reports, a lot of those girls thought I was the boyfriend because I put so much work and time into the pickup. But as you go on, you move from the boyfriend frame to the lover frame. Alright. In biology, that's called going from k to r selected, in that you're giving off, as a good daygamer, a lover vibe. So when a girl looks into your eyes on the street, she should know that you're a player in a good sense. Alright? You're a gigolo. You are a Casanova. You are a seducer. From your body language and what you say and the way you behave, the way you, talk to her, the way you behave on texts, the way you behave on a date, she knows that you're a player. Some girls don't go for it. A lot of girls do. Even married women, girls with boyfriends. So you never are put in the boyfriend box so she's not upset after you've had that passionate casual sex because that's what she wanted. Okay? That's all about being a lover. And that's what I specialize in now in the last couple of years where girls get it. Secret society. And now some girls obviously don't get it. Maybe they're naive. Maybe they're young. Maybe you didn't quite give off the lover frame properly. So you need to give her what's called in game, quote unquote, the talk. Alright. There's many versions of this talk. I've mentioned it a lot. I talk about it in Badass Buddha. If you feel like she's becoming clingy or she's hanging on to you or she thinks you're gonna be the boyfriend or she's getting possessive, she's getting jealous, you have to sit her down. You have to man up, and you have to say, look, Sarah, let's have a quick talk. Okay? I just wanna let you know. Now you can copy this talk or you can vary it, but it goes like this. I just want you to know you're a cool girl. You're a very pretty girl. You're clever as well. I love spending time with you. It's great fun. You're just my kind of girl. But I wanna let you know that right now, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'm not in that place. Because I've come out of a relationship and I like to travel. I like to be free. I like to be independent. I'm putting my energy elsewhere, but I like spending time with you. And in the future, you're the kind of girl that I could definitely date. So if you're cool with it, I'd like to see you once a week or twice a week, whatever. But I just wanted to let you know that I'm not looking for a girlfriend. Now that's called putting your cards on the table. That's the talk. And once you've done that, it's great. You kind of, get out of jail free. You're you're you're home free because if she then decides to keep seeing you and have sex with you, then she knows. And if she still becomes clingy after that, you can kind of remind her of the talk. Okay? So that's called the talk. And the final thing which you could say is not ethical is that, remember, a pretty girl has more abundance than you. A very pretty girl has amazing abundance. She can go out and get a very high value man tomorrow. She's probably already got orbiters on her air traffic control. That means guys in standby, providers and pretty boys and jacked guys and guys she met at the club and guys on her Facebook and guys in her college and guys in her work. They're all waiting. So don't feel too bad, however it's made, that when you leave, pretty quickly, she'll she'll have another guy, and that's just life. Okay? She'll be able to get a guy quicker than you can get a girl. So take it or leave it, that advice, but there you go. I hope that helped. Alright. You ask, again, how many times did you fall in love on your daygame journey? I know this feeling is hard to get, you say, if you live in abundance, but maybe you had one or two. That's a long story, and that's what my first book, daygame, is all about. So I go into falling in love and the difference between scarcity and abundance in that book. So check that one out. Your next question, your third question is, what are your thoughts on getting a vasectomy? Oh my word. I am not a qualified doctor. It's not for me to say whether you should or should not have children. That's a big decision. I think you can get them reversed, but that's a bit dodgy. So only do it obviously if you don't want kids. But I don't know how old you are. I don't know how many partners you've had. I don't know if you've whatever. So many variables. Again, man up. That's a big life decision that only you can make. I'll do one more of your questions, mate, because it's a bit too many for this podcast. You say, I noticed that every girl I gained sooner or later revealed a showing story about herself. Like, every second one had sewer thought suicide thoughts. Almost everyone had bad parents and blah blah. I can't take it serious anymore. What should I be careful? When should I be careful? Alright. Okay. Sounds like you're getting the bad girls, quote unquote bad girls, because we're all good and bad. That means you're filtering for that kind of girl. Yeah? Doesn't have a father. Maybe it's the stripper type. Maybe it's the tattoo type, the piercing type, the barmaid type, whatever. So we all filter for girls. But the joy of doing daygame is that you daygame a buffet, a rainbow of different girls. So if you're opening lots of pretty girls, that shouldn't be happening. Whereas if you're doing nightgame or just same day lays or just stripper game, sure. You're gonna get that kind of Las Vegas ex stripper kind of girl. But I would say daygame, all kinds of girls, librarians, office girls, blondes, brunettes, 18 year olds, 30 year olds, and that should stop happening through normal distribution and volume of approaching. Alright. New tweeter. New twitter user benedict says, I met a Korean girl who was my first proper daygame lay. It took me two point five months to sleep with her. She says she wants me to go there. I don't have the money and not much experience I want with women, but I like her a bit. She said she loves me. Do you think long distance relationships work on Skype? I could visit her or she might come here in a year or shall I hit the streets? Benedict, you know the answer to your own question as most of our questions in life contain. We ask questions usually when we know the answer and our question contains that answer, you say at the end, should I hit the streets? You should. Long distance relationships, no. Especially if you're in the boyfriend box, it took you quite a while to sleep with her, she's already said she loves you, that does sound like Asian girls, Korean girls way too fast. Long distance, just no for lots and lots of reasons. And you've said already, you want more experience with women. So take that as a good experience, as a good notch, as a good victory to spur you onto other things. And if you run into her again, fine. But becoming one eye to see, needy with her, or trying to just, you know, hold out over Skype for one or two years. No. No. No. No. No. Thomas Loftus says, how much is put into so much is put into how to attract a woman, sleep with her, etcetera, but how do you deal with a woman who wants a relationship with you? Alright, Thomas. That is kind of what I was talking about with the question from however it's me about girls falling in love with you. First of all, be careful. That's not a white knight question. Listen to my podcast. I think the last one or the one before. The one before, I think, with John when I was talking about guys saying how they over pick up because it's too shallow and they just wanna rescue women. They want quality relationships with women. Be careful that's not you or you're putting a certain woman on a pedestal, I e, that's a loaded question. If women want relationships with you, well, that's a good thing. You're coming across as a very valuable, high value, normal guy. As long as you're not the provider guy, flashing your passport and your cash, that might be why some women want relationships with guys. But, again, consider, are you giving off the boyfriend vibe when you do your daygame texting and dating, or are you giving off the lover vibe? Alright? So you are the chooser, not the chosen one. You're the buyer, not the seller. And to be the chooser, you need abundance. That means you need to go out, collect lots of numbers, do a lot of texting of different girls, go on a lot of dates, be sleeping with or having the possibility to sleep with different girls. It's a place of strength. So if you wanna then decide to get into a relationship, fine. Do it. That's fine. I'm not against relationships or even marriage. I've said many times before. But if you're doing it from a place of weakness, I. E. Maybe what Benedict was talking about before, just jumping into the first girl you've slept with and be very careful. Alright? So if lots of girls are getting the wrong idea about relationships with you, give them the talk, give off more of a lover frame, make sure you're you're letting girls know what's going on. Alright? If you're thinking about how to get a relationship with a girl, then take my dad's advice, Thomas. Alright? And first of all, be the lover. I've said this in many more podcasts. You can't start as the boyfriend and then go into lover mode. You have to start as the lover and then go into boyfriend mode. So start off with fast sex. Try and sleep with her as quickly as you can. Have all the passion. Have all the craziness. Find out if she's a cool chick. Find out if there's any red flags. Find out if she's stable. Find out if you like spending time with her other than just having sex with her. And this takes not just days or weeks, this takes months. Really get to know her if you're in for it for the long haul, and then sure, have a relationship, but don't jump into it. You are the buyer, not the seller. Alright? Especially if you're under the age of, I don't know, 40 or 35. No need to jump in. Alright. Two more questions. Let me see how we're doing. We've gone over thirty minutes already, but fuck it. Let's get these questions in. Benedict, maybe the same Benedict, maybe a different Benedict. He says, what's your opinion on the no fat movement? I find porn addictive and it lowers my sex drive. Have you cut off masturbation and porn completely for day game? Very common question on the forums and live events. The definitive answer to this fat question is each to their own. For some guys, knocking one out watching porn lowers your sex drive. You feel lethargic and depressed, and you don't go out and hit on girls. So you've answered the question. Don't do it. For guys, including myself, knocking one out watching porn actually makes me hornier. It doesn't affect me. It almost increases my sex drive. Can't explain why. 50% of guys feel the same as me. So, obviously, I carry on doing it. Obviously, don't go crazy and make it an addiction. As long as you're going out and cold approaching and feeling horny, do whatever fuels that horniness. Last question from Alexandra. I like how he starts this question with just a word. It's very dramatic. He says, arrogance, full stop. You're the first pickup teacher I hear to mention this as an alpha male quality. But what type of arrogance do you mean exactly? Is there such a thing as good slash bad arrogance? I like the tone of that question. It's almost arrogant in itself, but that's good. It's coming across as good arrogance. You're holding the frame. You're dominant without being rude. And in the nice bad boy video series, if you haven't seen that, there are 30 videos on my YouTube channel for free about the qualities of a nice bad boy or the badass Buddha. I talk about the sweet spot, which is the badass Buddha, okay, of, yes, being arrogant, but not being a total douche, not being a dick. So let's give you some practical examples. For good arrogance, I want you to think of someone who has a red carpet walk, somebody who has swagger like a male movie star. Think of the charm and cheeky charisma of Bill Clinton. Think of the cockiness, the holding of the frame, the cheeky soft dominance of someone like Hank Moody in the TV show Californiacation. He's a lovable dick. That's the cocky arrogance that a player should have. Watch my top 10 PUA movie recommendations, and you'll see some other examples. That's on YouTube. Bad arrogance would be ridiculous narcissism, that kind of real dark triad, crazy, rude, evil arrogance. You could say, quote unquote, of what's an example? Christian Bale in the movie American Psycho. That's very dark triad. Alright? Bits of Wolf of Wall Street. Watch Leonardo DiCaprio in that Scorsese movie. Little bits of good arrogance in him, but mostly bad arrogance. So, of course, you can have good and bad arrogance. The player needs to be the badass Buddha. He needs to display that cockiness without making girls run away. It's good when girls are kind of like playfully slapping you saying, you are such a douche or oh my god, you're such a bad boy or you are so arrogant. And you say, I know. You can call me god and she's like, excuse me? And you say, you're excused. That's all fine. That's playful. Alright? But genuinely just shouting at women, hating women, treating them really badly, having women absolutely hate your guts, that's bad arrogance. Not going to last. Player's going to burn himself out. It's going to end in disaster. There you go. No more questions. That's it for a few more podcasts. But like I said, if you've got any more questions while I'm on the road, tweet them to me, dear listeners, because Twitter's much easier than trying to amass all these questions via all these different sources. Email is more for coaching. Alright? Once again, don't be lazy and ask questions that I've already answered a million times on YouTube about daygame, texting, dating, whatever. It's all out there. But if you want to know about Skype coaching or private coaching or my Saturday street hustle coaching, it's Tom@TomTorero.com. Until next time. Ta da.