---
title: Episode 44 The Purple Pill
episode_number: 44
era: early
source_file: Episode 44 The Purple Pill.mp3
audio_size_mb: 47.4
duration_sec: 1552.5
duration_min: 25.9
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.999
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T06:30:20Z---

# Episode 44 The Purple Pill

**Speaker 0:** Yad. It's Tom Torero podcast 44 on the purple pill. I've just come back from the Brecon Beacons, which are the hills, you could say mountains of South Wales. Very, very snowy. So nice and raw, reminded me of Iceland. I'm here just for a few days packing my things. I've got a street hustle session on Saturday, doing some coaching Sunday, and then I think it's Tuesday. I fly out to South America for some shenanigans with my original daygame wing from five years ago, Rami Rami the great. Him and I are going to Colombia via Miami. So Pablo Escobar shenanigans and debauchery just without the cocaine, you know, chasing daygame instead of narcotics. But, anyway, it's gonna be fun. A couple of things to say before we kick off with the purple pill topic today. First of all, thank you very much for all the feedback I got on last week's podcast, 43. And a few married guys and guys with kids contacted me to say, Tom, I really enjoyed the podcast, but, you know, don't have a go at us. And, yeah, fair play. Maybe I was ramming the polygamy player thing too much. Remember, I'm giving my opinions because this is my podcast, but I understand. Not everyone's gonna be a perpetual player. Can you be in a marriage or relationship? Can you be a father from a position of strength? Yeah. I think it's an incredibly hard thing to do. It's a massive decision. It's rare to find a a guy in a relationship or a long, long marriage who's holding the frame. He's badass. He's, he's still alpha, but it can be done. And massive respect to guys that make that decision, especially after their player years. They cash in their trips. Having kids is an amazing thing to do. Huge responsibility. I taught kids for many years, remember, between the ages of five and 11. So I'm well aware of what it entails. My sister has four boys. So, yep, I'm very aware and massive respect to you if you decide to do it. Remember, it's not for me to say how another man should live his life. I'm not gonna judge you how you live your life. Likewise, you shouldn't judge me. We'll come on to that with the purple pill topic today. And as long as you're in a relationship, any kind of relationship, as I've said, from a position of strength and you maintain male female polarity and you hold the frame, then it's all good. Okay? So that was that. Secondly, what was the second thing? Yes. Thank you for all the guys who contributed questions for my new hardback textbook called street hustle. My writing is done. It's a huge relief. 70,000 words now, so it's the length of a PhD. I'm done with it. It's gone to a copy editor, and now it's a line editing stage to cut off a bit of the fat, give the sentences some punch, cut out the repetition, all that kind of thing. And then I've got another guy who's a comic illustrator. He's doing graphic comic style film noir, hustle, heist, very Bond, oceans 11 style illustrations for this book. So it should look badass. And I hope he's gonna do the cover as well. So all in all, I think we've got about a month to go. So I'm hoping the middle of February for the release of this massive Tom Torero textbook. They say size doesn't matter, but just wait till you see this. It will impregnate you with knowledge. It's everything that I've done in the past five, six years from my days with date against the machine and the girlfriend sequence, conversation king, conversation ninja, and then on to Buddha, my my other books. All those ideas, they've been fermenting, and I want them all in one place. I want them all on paper. I'm tired, like I said before, of other people nicking my stuff without asking permission or, you know, just just blatantly stealing it and copying it word for word. So once it's in a book, I can just point people to it. And those guys that contributed questions well, the third part of the book has a 100 questions, the 100 most common questions that I get asked. About 20 of those questions that I was sent are in the book, so you might see your question in there. So a big thank you for that. Alright. On to today's podcast, the purple pill. Sounds a bit abstract. Let's unpick it. You hopefully know about red pill versus blue pill. You should definitely know it from the movie and popular culture. The movie was the matrix, and it comes from that moment when Morpheus explains to Neo that the matrix is a world created to prevent humans from discovering that they are slaves to, an external influence. So he holds out a red pill and a blue pill in each of his palms, and he says to Neo, this is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more. Great tagline for what I teach and this podcast. All I'm offering you is the truth without judgment, nothing more. So my former blue pill self or your former blue pill self was your idealistic, romantic, needy, supplicating, you could say, beater self before you learned about game and hustling and daygame and the true nature of male female relationships and dynamics. You believed the Disney movies and the rom coms, and you got burned because of your needy mister nice guy behavior. So that was your blue pill. I was massively blue pill. If you've read my first book daygame, unbelievably chodey, but that's how you learn your lessons. I was the nice guy for many years even when I got into daygame. And then slowly over time, hopefully, by taking action and being infield, not being a keyboard jock or just listening to these podcasts, over time, you understand how men and women interact, what turns women on, what, flicks the switches, and you implement it and you get success. And that's how you become red pill. I don't think you can just become red pill from reading about it, talking about it, getting depressed about it, discussing it online, on Internet forums. Because, yeah, you might theoretically understand it, but you have to face it. You have to climb the mountain. It's like mountaineering. You can't really understand mountaineering from third person movies and reading books on mountaineering technique. You have to go and face, the mountain, the ice, or the rock. You have to struggle, and you have to make it instinctive. You have to earn internalize all these things through actually doing it. So I can't stress that enough in this podcast. One way to stop worrying about the true nature of red pill, which is today's topic, is to is to enjoy it and to use it as a loophole, to use this knowledge for your benefit, quite simply to pick up girls, to get laid more, which will in turn make you happier for a while. It's not the eternal source of happiness, but a lot of guys are are focusing on this. They're trying to go about it in roundabout ways like I call snake seduction. And if you can just go up to a girl in a coffee shop or on the street, have a flirt with her, get her number, take her on a date, sleep with her, see lots of different girls, it's a great part of your life to play a lifestyle, and it can lead to travel and adventures and, as I say, living the movie, not just watching the movie. So that's red pill versus blue pill. Now what do I mean by purple pill? Because you'd assume that the transition is obvious. You start as a blue pill, and then you learn this stuff, hopefully, by doing it, and you become red pill. But that's not actually what happens. From blue pill to red pill, it's quite a slow process with ups and downs. It's quite brutal because you have to face these rejections when you open gills and gills flaking, and you have to accept token LMR, and you have to accept your needy behavior in relationships if she's really hot, clingy behavior. Remember? Affection, addiction that I talked about last time. Or even worse, like I've hinted at, you do no daygame. You do no cold approaching. You stay at home. You read loads of books like the selfish gene or the Rolo Tomasi stuff or, even worse, you just go through blog after blog after blog on the so called manosphere. You understand red pill concepts theoretically, but if you're not swallowing that red pill with taking action, it leaves men extremely angry, depressed, bitter, cynical. They lose all hope. It's like pure nihilism nihilism. I remember as a geeky 18 year old, I must have been maybe 17. Before I went to Oxford, had a place at Hartford College in Oxford, and they sent me my reading list for biological sciences. And because Richard Dawkins was one of our lecturers and one of our tutors, they said everybody had to read, The Selfish Dream, which I would advise everybody listening to read. Fantastic book about, the genetic answer to why life on earth exists, and it explains our behaviors and our dating and our mating. So I read this as a very naive, geeky, beta 17 year old, and my world just collapsed. Because all the truths that I had grown up with seemed to just fall onto the floor, smash into a million pieces. And, Dawkins reveals, you know, nature red in tooth and claw and the true, struggle in terms of survival and replication, and it's not, success of the species or the tribe. We're not trying to help each other. It's success of DNA. So even within our body, there's conflicts between organs. Organs have teamed up. And why altruism, as I explained last time, is actually a selfish strategy. Anyway, I'm not gonna go into all that. But the image I want you to imagine is me, literally on the floor of my bedroom first year in Oxford. I just lay on the floor after digesting this stuff and going to more lectures and listening to Richard Dawkins. And I lay my on the floor in my room and I shut my eyes, and I was at a point of utter despair. I thought that, well, this is how the world is. There's no beauty. There's no magic. There's no, there's no god. This is terrible. So what I did, as I explained in my first book, daygame, I sent Richard Dawkins an email. He was at a different college in Oxford, but I was allowed to see him because I was on his course. And but very kindly, he offered to see me in his home in North Oxford. He said, yeah. Come around, and we can talk about your concerns. So I sat in his living room. As he stood by the window, I sat on his sofa. His beautiful wife, La la Ward, was drifting around in the background. I hadn't noticed her or, you know, I didn't know anything about game or the fact that Richard Dawkins was a very good player. And, anyway, I I just poured out all this negativity and why all the harsh, bleak truths of evolution were so disturbing to me, I. E. The red pill stuff that you're perhaps discovering now. And he listened and very kindly, he took it. He didn't try to defend it. He didn't try to get angry. He just referred me to some books on his bookshelf about the poetry of nature and the wonder of the universe and why all is not lost because if you have the opportunity to understand why we're here, that's amazing. You know, the first organisms on planet Earth to be able to look back and think, you know, how it all came to being. That's amazing. Being able to decide your your destiny and what you what you're putting your attention on and how you're creating your reality, that's also amazing. Man becoming god and all that. So he was trying to explain this to me, but as a spotty, depressive, introvert, no girlfriend guy, it it didn't really do much good. Anyway, long story short, I struggled on with the course, tried not to think about genetics too much, and the rest is in my book. But, anyway, I'm just making the point that I know how dark it can seem when you first, learn about the true nature of women and women's dual mating strategy. Hopefully, this is all familiar to you guys who listen to my stuff. If it's not, watch my talks on sexual market value, monogamy versus polygamy, why you have cats and dads, lovers and providers, why women cheat, why men wanna pump and dump, and all this stuff. And you read Tomasi, their fantastic books. Roosh, who was a guest on this podcast, read both his books, any player, without just sitting in your bedroom. But any player along with infield experience should read books one and two of the Rational Mail. I'll put a link below. But again, loads of guys read that stuff, and they think it's doom and gloom. They really believe that there is a conspiracy against men. So guys that don't go out and cold approach and have fun with girls, they just sulk and they think, well, this is not fair. It's like seeing, or reading a book rather on cheat codes for a casino, but not being able to go and actually play in the casino. So they get really, really bothered by it. They think it's a conscious thing that women are doing. They think that these games, a bit like some people think evolution is a conscious process against us. And now Richard Dawkins many times says he wishes he hadn't called that book the selfish gene because it implies consciousness. It implies a sick game. Whereas if you know about evolutionary biology, it's just a system. It's it just runs like a mathematical model. It's like physics. It's like gravity. It doesn't judge. There's no ethics involved. We're the people who put morals and ethics onto things like that. So if you step back and just see it as this blind process, Dawkins calls it the blind watchmaker, also a great book, you see that there's nothing to be worried about. And like I said in the beginning, you can take advantage of these loopholes, I. E. Cold approach and street hustling, that they are the loopholes in the, sexual marketplace because sexual market value is relative, and, it's subjective. If it was just objective, then there would be nothing we could do about it. Therefore, those be yourself natural guys would be right. And those of us that had very low SMV in our teenage years or our twenties would be fucked. There'd be nothing we could do about it. But if you know about blackjack and you know about, basic strategy and you know about card counting, watch films like 21 or read the book of the film bringing down the house, just start looking at blackjack hustling against the casino and realizing it's not illegal. They were just using mathematics to raise their edge. And that's exactly, as I say in street hustling, what we're doing. Okay? So it's nothing dark. We're not really cheating. It's just a game. Women are doing their part of the game. Like I've said, we're doing our part of the game. Make love not war. Yeah. I think that was my first ever podcast. Anyway, so you've got your blue pill phase. You've got the bitter taste of the red pill. And then, hopefully, once you get over the anger, you become red pill, and you enjoy it, and you, take advantage of it. But there's this horrible phase in the middle where a lot of guys want to pretend like they never discovered the rabbit hole. They, the blue pill, they find out about red pill. It's too painful. They wanna bury their head in the sand, or for even more cynical reasons, they want to make it mass market clickbait appeal. You know, perhaps they want their website to get millions of views. They wanna go on mainstream media. They want it to become, quote, unquote, female friendly. Because remember, the casino doesn't like it when you win. Society doesn't like it when you hustle. So, obviously, women are not gonna promote male tactics just like we don't like it when women promote female tactics. So, anyway, these guys become what we know as purple pill. And purple pill is just a distorted view of red pill. It's a distorted truth to serve an agenda. And while you might say, oh, Tom, just don't bother about these guys. We really have to. We certainly need to raise awareness definitely with new guys because the Internet is flooded now with purple pill, like feminized red pill. And a young guy getting into this, he'll go on to YouTube and, obviously, he'll watch the most popular videos with millions and millions of hits. And surprise, surprise, those very popular videos are watered down versions of the truth to serve an agenda. They're saying, listen. You can stay in your old blue pill way. Don't you worry. You can be yourself. You can be natural. And they'll sprinkle in a few little red pill truths that they've cherry picked, but they'll say, listen. Don't worry about any of that creepy game stuff. Don't worry about being a pickup artist. Forget all that. That's just really old school. It's meaningless. It's creepy. It's misogynistic. It's sexist. You just stick with us. You know? You become a female approved, beta male. You don't need to change, and all's gonna be well. So it comes across as very judgmental, from a moral high horse. It's a bit like it reminds me of, creationism versus evolution. You know? And creation is saying, well, evolution is just a theory. We don't need to take it that seriously. And they cherry pick the bits of science that they like. They come up with horrendous things like Scientology, cult like things. And more and more on the Internet, you're seeing Purple Pill Game. And in the last couple of years, it's been flooded now with purple pill daygame. Alright? And it's disturbing because if you've listened to my podcast about white knights giving guys wrong information, If you've heard my term about snake seduction, you'll understand that it's very difficult for a beginner to see the wood for the trees. So he might go on to YouTube or Google or a daygame site, and he might see terms like life coaching, or he might hear the term confidence coach, or be authentic, or this is just about self development. Or even more careful, he might get into self development to become quote, unquote, self actualized man, you know, or to be congruent. Because this all sounds very appealing, and it's okay with women. Yep. You can be all these things. So he thinks, great. I'm doing the right thing. You know, I'm going to the gym. I'm eating healthy. I'm looking like a Jersey Shore boy or an Essex lad, we might say here. Got the white teeth. It's okay to be apologetic. It's okay to be a game denialist. It's okay to be feminine. It's okay to be overly sensitive. And there's a whole pseudo spirituality, pseudoscience, new age, fuzzy thing going on where they bamboozle you to hide the lack of evidence, into purple pill beliefs because it's easier to swallow. You don't need to look reality down the barrel of the gun. You don't need to, accept these harsh truths of evolutionary biology in the red pill. So you say, okay. I'm just gonna bury my head in the sand. All will be well. It's like the the faith healers. It's like the psychics that people like Darren Brown or old school Harry Houdini used to try and expose. Yep. But what I take offense to is their judgment of pickup, their denial of pickup, and their high moral ground, especially if those guys blatantly are, you know, behind their website trying to get laid. They're going out. They're cold approaching. They're nailing girls. They know what they're doing. But for marketing reasons, they're taking the the moral high ground. They're saying, listen. We're above pickup. Okay? We're over pickup. Married guys will often do this as well. Or guys with kids, they'll say, you know, I it's not about those cheap sluts. I'm I'm all about a quality girl. You know? Oh, those poor players. It must be terrible. And often those guys, like I said, they're white knightish. They believe in the Madonna whore thing. You know, like I said, the girls that you can get from cold approach, they must be whores. That's a common night game argument as well that you only find sluts during the night and good girls during the day. Oh, how wrong that is. And that's that's the purest purity fantasy. Yeah? If you can make guys believe there are perfect angels and demon girls, then that's very good to to sell. You know? And those guys will say things like, we don't rate girls. We don't believe in that. We don't use pickup language. It's offensive to women. So it's all very PC. It's all very watered down. It's all very idealistic. It all comes back to the earlier Disney romance things I said. It's a bastardized form, and I simply don't like game apologists. Like, I don't like evolutionary denialists. So it needs to be raised. It needs to be raised without getting reactive and starting a war within men. I'm raising it just so I'm encouraging you to to take a good hard look at the true nature of men and women. I'm encouraging you to read evolutionary texts related to red pill and game and daygame and street hustling. I'll put a few below if you still haven't seen my reading list. Just, so you can take it on the chin. You can get through that period where it stings a little bit, and then you can reach this acceptance, this enlightened stage. So coming back to how do we not get angry and bitter about all of it. Remember, are you spending more time online and reading about the true nature of all this stuff, or are you using it to your advantage in field? You're going out there as the lover, not the provider. You've got a little harem going on. You're not getting reactionary with girls. You know, like I always say, see them as beautiful puppy dogs or children. Okay? They need your frame. They like it. They like to be feminine. They they like a masculine man, so you can have great fun with it. Are you doing other things than just sitting and reading and listening to this stuff? So traveling, like I said, from Iceland, going into the wild somewhere and, remembering that reproduction and women, that's just one part of life on earth. You can do lots and lots of other things. I'm not saying run away to the hills, but I'm saying enjoy nature. Enjoy other hobbies. Remember to balance your life. Yep. Where are you getting your affection from? I said that in the last podcast. So if you're kind of abandoning traditional monogamy, a bit like me, you need to have other affection sources. Remember I said, get a dog or get a female friends that you've already slept with. Make sure you've got love in your life. You're you're doing good things. You can't just be this isolated monastic guy in your bedroom, on your laptop, raging against the world. It's not healthy. And, hopefully, you're not judging guys who choose the player route. You're not judging guys who, choose the marriage route. Like I said at the beginning of the podcast, it's, every man. He takes his information, hopefully, and then he makes that choice himself. And it's not an easy choice to go through. Very, very recently, I had to really, really think about my future in the game. I was dating a girl, and we just got to that point where we were discussing, you know, is this gonna get serious and a bit more monogamy like, or are we gonna go our own ways? And she knew my true nature, and I followed my gut, as Tomasi says, and I knew my true nature. So I've decided basically to be a player, to carry on traveling, to carry on grabbing life by the horns. I can't see myself doing the whole settle down thing, plug back in thing with wife, car, kids, but there's a lot of guys who can. So fair play to you if if that's you. Okay. I think we'll wrap it up there. I know it's a little bit short, but tomorrow, I'm off to London, and I've gotta edit another video right now. Oh, the wonderful life. Anyway, this is about Saturday street hustle session in London, February 6. It's my only training date in February from 12:00 till 05:00. Maximum two students. It's the complete London daygame model, Torero toolkit, all the stuff you need to get going. It's five hours of 99% infield. Alright? Stores, cafes, street, malls, wherever. We can go to London Zoo if you wanna approach some animals. Sadly, no sheep in London Zoo. The other 1% is sitting in a cafe over a cup of tea and explaining the model, and at the end of the session, going through sticking points, blind spots, and getting a schedule together for you to either find a wing and do it or to do solo digging wherever you are. So come and learn those street hustling ropes with me. It's first come, first served. £500 for those five hours on the February 6. Email Tom@TomTorero.com. Anyway, until next time, which will be actually with Rami, I guess, in Miami or Columbia. Ta da.