---
title: Episode 45 Positive Vibes
episode_number: 45
era: early
source_file: Episode 45 Positive Vibes.mp3
audio_size_mb: 54.3
duration_sec: 1778.6
duration_min: 29.6
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T06:32:04Z---

# Episode 45 Positive Vibes

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast, 45 from Colombia, Vigo Colombia, South America in the jungle hiding with machetes and bodyguards. It's the daygame cartel looking for bitches in the jungle. Not alone, luckily, because of the dangers of this country. I'm with my original wing from, I think, 02/2010. It is Rami the Great. Alright, Rami? Hi, guys. Nice to see you, man. You made it before me to Colombia. We flew together from London to Miami

**Speaker 1:** and you had a shitty time even getting into The United States. Yeah. It took me like a four hours actually to leave the immigration office just because I'm from my background from The Middle East. They asked me so many questions and crazy stuff and there was like a big room full of other people. You were still positive. And finally with patience I managed to, being calm, managed to leave the office with peace.

**Speaker 0:** You're naughty boy, that's why you're on the FBI most wanted list. And you can't even fly back there can you, they've now said this trip you can't go back, you have to go to The UK another way. I have to actually, I have to find routes for some of the, actually after I arrived to Colombia they sent me an email telling me like you're not allowed to come back, you are, you are a pirate, you are a fugitive and I love it and he's still positive. The shit was hitting the fan just as Rami landed. I got through quick and I was said okay Rami, I'll see you in the hotel, got a taxi and for the first time ever I left my passport in the back of the taxi. It cost me like two days of headache, almost £1,000 in fees and changing of flights and stuff. But anyway, I tried to keep positive. Rami kept me positive and now we're in Colombia and the topic for today is Rami's famous positive vibe because I've winged with Rami and lived with him and we've traveled. Maybe you remember our old videos from Moscow and Latvia. Loads of the original London daygame guys winged with Rami because he he was one of the first. And everybody says, wow, Rami's vibe is very stable even though you had, a difficult background, difficult story, difficult time coming to London which we'll talk about another time. Everyone says to you, wow, like what what's the secret of your vibe? So today, in half an hour, we're gonna try and say some of the secrets to your vibe because it's too big to talk about all the secrets. I kicked this off a couple of days ago in Miami. I made the video called Vibe Vampires, so the opposite of what Rami does really, all the negative things. If you want to fuck up your vibe then do these 10 negative things which is don't sleep. When I don't sleep, I get really mad, know, bad vibe. Be lazy, so just lie on the sofa, don't do any fitness. Stay in your house. Be on your own in the dark on the computer writing all these weird comments and being a PUA troll getting really angry about other guys, other women you know. I have never done this in my life actually. Yeah. Having a victim mentality so like again on the forums saying you know, fucking women, fucking government, my family, it's the town. Yeah. Except with yourself. So we'll come into that. Just watching loads of mainstream media, spending all your time on Twitter and again getting into a big rage, eating crap, surrounding yourself with other negative people and negative wings because that's a unspoken thing in daygame. There are some negative wings who like suck your value and suck your vibe, slow you down. And the last one, reading about game, watching game videos, writing about game, but not actually talking to women. Remember Mystery used to say the game is played in field. And I say 90% action, 10% theory. So all of those things we'll talk about with you, Rami. The opposite Mhmm. Which is your life and we'll kick off, let's zoom out and talk about the cognitive behavioral therapy side of things, so kind of controlling your mind. Now I went through this with I think I was 20, 21, I had anxiety, depression and stress. They gave me a CBT course because I wasn't taking any action, was actually useless. But the one thing I remember is when she said to me, you can separate your thoughts from your emotions and I remember thinking wow, that's really interesting. I'm

**Speaker 1:** not my thoughts, you can actually watch your thoughts like You will have more power when you separate the thought from you and then you can actually question the thought and get rid of it quickly. Well let's talk about that with exercises

**Speaker 0:** that you do, in field but in your house. These are kind of cognitive exercises so if you've oh first of all you should say that you weren't always

**Speaker 1:** relaxed, what's your quick was I'm like I born happy and I have like all the time positive actually in fact I had really harsh backgrounds and I grew up in like a little village full of negative people and by the age like of 18 to 21 I suffered from anxiety actually very like a severe anxiety that was a very troubled childhood yeah that was actually what forced me to like you know and to control it and find ways to cut it off to be honest. But you came to London with basically no English, no income? Yeah, yeah, actually coming to London was a big change for me because coming from a small village to a big city with like you know like a pure English it's very hard as well. You never were

**Speaker 0:** one of those people that read

**Speaker 1:** loads and loads of PDFs and get you, you didn't actually even read the book? No actually, actually I didn't actually even read the game and I never actually signed up for any forms. I always thought I always thought this is like a stuff that is not really important because I thought I have to be in action. I have to do something. I mean once a while I used to like read something but to be honest 90% of my like you know experience in daygame or dating was in the field. Yeah, we met I think it was 2009

**Speaker 0:** or early twenty ten and I was in Trafalgar Square doing indirect on the steps and I kept seeing this guy going down the steps and sitting next to these girls and I would he was like jumping in before me and I was like, motherfucker, who is this guy? And I think I watched you for maybe one week. I was a bit afraid because I was so socially weird and then I must have said to you, hey man, what are you doing? And you just said, yeah, just doing just doing gaming, you you didn't care about like the the internet. In fact, Asha, I thought I'm the only one doing this in London so when he came and said hello to me, thought, wow, there's actually community here but actually I thought I'm the only one. There was four guys, I think, altogether. Yeah. So it was actually a surprise for me actually to know that actually there's actually like people like they meet for that but But you're also famous you've been out most days for the last five years. Yeah, I've been actually almost like five times a week,

**Speaker 1:** three four hours a day. To be honest like now I see it as a hobby, see it like as something I love to do. It's not just for just with women, it's just like to improve my like lifestyle in general. It's a therapy as well, isn't it? Which we'll talk about. It's actually the best therapy you can do, yeah. Okay, well

**Speaker 0:** if you can give guys, I don't know, summarize three, three ideas

**Speaker 1:** of this cognitive behavioral therapy that if you're in your house right now and you're not going go out today, what could a guy think about today? Okay, well actually I have many exercises but I'm going to share with you actually the best three exercises that are very simple but they're very powerful as well. This exercise actually is a great to reduce your negative thoughts to make you more positive in the day because you know we all experience negative thoughts so but we need to handle it in the best way. I mean the first step I want to give you actually guys, first exercise when I want to give you when you are feeling a bit negative. I want you actually to remember that feeling negative is normal and everyone experience negative thoughts. So you are not alone. Happy people experience negative thoughts as well but when they experience negative thoughts they don't let it in they actually let it out very quickly so they know how to deal with it very quickly.

**Speaker 0:** I think when people follow a lot of life coaching and you know the American stuff they and they think of being happy and always have a good vibe you know always smile with your white teeth that's bullshit yeah because part of the human condition is up and down stress and negative thoughts

**Speaker 1:** no matter how happy you are. The difference between the person who was actually positive, they know how to deal with it and they know how to manage it. Definitely as well with daygame and you're facing really in the beginning really brutal like ego blows,

**Speaker 0:** cold approach, rejection, stings,

**Speaker 1:** walking around for hours in the rain. I would say during the game and especially solo, that's like you're gonna feel negative very quickly especially because when you are walking in silent and you're going to approach like a girl so your inner voice can kick on very quickly and you might feel negative very quickly. But you're saying the first tip is to just say that it's normal. You have to mind yourself this is something normal you're not like something something wrong with you. Everyone experience negative thoughts. Now the second exercise I want you to do is I want you actually to stop reacting to your negative thoughts and stop resisting the negative thoughts by controlling it. Or doing certain things. Okay? And instead I want you to accept your negative thoughts. Now I know it's going to be hard for you. I know it's going be it's not easy for us to accept something negative but I want you actually to verbally accept it and I want you to do it in that way. Every time you have a negative thoughts I want you to say this following statement. Okay the sense the statement is my brain is having a thought that for example if you've got like a thought you know about oh I'm gonna lose my job. So instead of saying I'm worried that I'm will lose my job I want to say my brain is having a thought that I will lose my job. That's the separation of the thought from the emotion. That's classic CBD. Exactly because when you do that you zoom out and you can actually like you know like question the thought and control it. Otherwise if you say I am worried that I'm gonna lose my job it's more meaningful so you can actually feel more reactive to that thought. And after you actually you saw the statement I want you to say it verbally I accepted and I will handle it. So for example if you're having like a thought about losing your job you say my brain is having a thought that I will lose my job. Okay I accept it and I will handle it.

**Speaker 0:** Okay. My version of that, just to give a different wording on it is I definitely know I have a lot of negative thoughts because I don't think you ever solve depression. Depression never goes away like it's not magic. It comes and goes and I'm I'm as I get older, I know what it is because I see it coming. Yeah. I see the dark day Yeah. And the dark day has so many, you know, negative thoughts. But what I do, I accept that negative thought, I say it to myself. I don't actually say it out loud but let's say that the negative thought is, I can't be bothered to go outside and talk to girls, it's too dark, it's too cold and too tired and then I immediately say, how I can correct this is and then I'll give an action step to myself. So how I can correct this is, well, just at least go and have a coffee in the town where I live and at least talk to go for a walk and at least talk to the girl who's making me coffee. Or approach one girl or Yeah. And usually by creating an action step, I'm not pushing down because I think if you try and pretend like no, I'm not depressed, no, I'm not feeling tired, I'm not feeling lonely, if you try and push it don't down and have hide the truth, so you have to actually accept the truth and as soon you accept the truth or the negative thoughts your

**Speaker 1:** body going to stop reacting and you're to feel more relaxed and then you're to have more power to actually you know reduce your negativity. Okay? The last exercise I want to give you guys when you're experiencing your negative thoughts I want you to change your focus because when you have like some negative thoughts you're focused on that thought very micro thoughts so you have to consciously actually change your thoughts okay and change your focus and I want you to change your focus to something make you feel good. Some could be something in the future like a trip you're gonna do, a date you're gonna have or anything makes you feel good or it could be like something in the past like a great moment moments you had with like your I don't know your date or your friends something you know can energize you and if you want as well you can actually write this on your piece of paper like some like a positive story and as soon you feel negative right away remember the story or remember some good stuff you're gonna do in the future. Both of us have the trick of we've got a file on our computers

**Speaker 0:** and in the file is pictures of the hot girls like the really crazy stories, successes and when I'm sitting there in the winter going geez, know, I suck, daygame sucks, what's the point, I don't think I'm any good anymore, you open that folder, you've got one haven't you? I like a big one full of all the stories and every time actually I feel a bit like you know let's say my game is a bit rusty or you know I don't feel like you know like as the same I go and I read this and instantly I feel just good quickly you know because it's like a it reminds yourself like you did it and you can do it again. I'd also add to that point when you said change your focus like zoom out. So because the focus is so small like my foot hurts so bad, I can't do it again because my foot hurts or you have this excuse or you know it's, you're thinking about one thing in your job. If you zoom out and consider like I said in my video from Iceland about you know, the universe, you're on a planet, there's nature, think, watch great movies, read great books, listen to positive music, suddenly you think fuck, you know, come on. It's like with the passport and like with the immigration, that was stressful. You zoom out and we were laughing, we were on the beach in Miami going, come on, like this. We're in Miami and it's sunny and everything's fine. Exactly, I think the most important that you actually have the power and the willpower to change your focus quickly

**Speaker 1:** and that sometimes it takes actually sometimes to have this actually a habit because it's not easy for us to change our focus and be like you know in a good mood but the more you actually do it the more you can actually it's gonna be easier for you to change to positivity. It takes sixty six days apparently. A habit takes actually more to be honest. Yeah. So those three things you said,

**Speaker 0:** you can think about them today or write them down today if you're listening but like I said, to be positive takes more mental energy because of evolution than being negative. So yeah, just like the clean eating or the day game approaches three times a week, it's got to be two months of this kind of thinking and you've been doing it now for how many years positive? This is almost like now, I mean day game or like general? No, positive thinking. Positive thinking is, oh, for the last like, I would say ten years. Yeah.

**Speaker 1:** Since I like I suffered from anxiety, so I become very like, you know, serious about it. Yeah. Because I wanted to control it. So that's why actually for me now, every day I have certain rituals I do to keep, to maintain my positive vibe and to be honest I'm glad actually I suffered some anxiety because now I have more power,

**Speaker 0:** like you know I have more control of my thoughts. Yeah, I advise every guy to be alone, I think you should travel alone, you should spend time alone because when you're alone suddenly all the demons comes to you and when you're young it's very, very scary but as you get older, I've found that it's nice to sit there and watch all these thoughts come and to have control of your mind. That's a a cornerstone of life, obviously. Anyway, let's bring it practically to daygame because you're listening to this podcast for hopefully infield daygame advice. Mhmm. Both Rami and I like solo daygame. Even though we've been wings and we go on holiday and stuff, we basically like doing daygame on our own because we both agree it's like a meditation, quote unquote, it's a therapy, it's in the zone, whatever you want to call it, it's in flow. Yes. Yeah. I don't really like distracting

**Speaker 1:** chat with wings, you know. It's also actually the hardest because because you know being doing solo alone is kind of like, it's very easy to be negative especially if you work alone in a big city. Well, all those weasels come in your brain. Yes. Yeah because when you are walking by yourself looking for like a gift to approach it's very easy to like have negative thoughts like I don't know it could be like she's too tall, she's like walking very fast, your brain will give you a 100 of excuses not to approach. Procrastination, Yeah.

**Speaker 0:** If you think you sing. So again another reason to get good at doing solo on your own because you always say, you like the quote, the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. So you need to run, they say in psychology, sounds a bit cheesy but it's true, you need to run towards fear because what do Americans say, the other side of fear is freedom. Yes. So you're having a wing, it's nice, it's good if you're a complete beginner but if you really want to toughen up with the things we're talking about today, need to have these stressful

**Speaker 1:** situations. You need to spend some time solo, like if you go with your wingman like you said three times a week, you need to go twice to be with the young man and once by yourself trust me because if you keep going out with the young man it's become a habit and for you you can rely on him all your life and you want to be like be able to do daygame by yourself because daygame meant to be solo. Let's before we do some tips for infield, let's just talk about wings quickly. Yeah.

**Speaker 0:** You've met hundreds of guys now in London and around the world who wanted to be your wing. Yeah. You tried for a few days and you're very, very selective and you're not afraid to say bye bye, goodbye to the Can you explain why wings can be a negative thing like the vibe, the energy of somebody who's grumpy, someone who's, they're delaying you, you know why do you choose

**Speaker 1:** wings so carefully? Because I do believe when you are spending time with negative people or like let's say a negative wingman, let's say you have a woman who complains about, you know, not getting numbers or flaky numbers you know try to always have excuses. That will affect you even if you are very positive. It's very easy to also feel negative around these people. Sometimes like some negative thoughts can get easily to our head and especially if you go out and you spend like three hours with some negative wingman and you do it for like a month, I mean it doesn't matter how busy you are, you're gonna feel negative and you're gonna be like him and maybe even worse.

**Speaker 0:** A tip is to really only agree to go on infield session with the wing as a trial. So just have a coffee, see how many times this person complains,

**Speaker 1:** go out with them and see if it helps your vibe or if it hinders your vibe. That's why for me like as soon I go with wingman and as soon I hear him complaining about anything, girls even in life right away I cut him off immediately. I tell him listen you need to do this you need advice but for me it's like I'm very strict with that because I mean this is a very important time for me when I go out and do a day game. Don't want to like you know feel negative and you know deal with other people as well so I think this is the main reason why I do solo. I mean 80% of my game is solo because

**Speaker 0:** I know it's not easy to find a wingman and you need to actually train that wingman to be positive as well. It's it's comes down to protecting your vibe, doesn't Yes. It Like the other another little thing that can kill my vibe, makes me very negative. Every morning I open my inbox and sometimes I check like comments and things and because it's the world of online pickup, it attracts some very super negative angry people. So the first half an hour of my day is sometimes reading extremely violent, rude comments, know, angry comments and I found this is why I get a girl often to go through my inbox. I pay a girl to do the messages and things because that's, it's like a toxic morning, a toxic beginning to the day. So eliminating forums, eliminating reading about trolling, eliminating all this stuff, yeah, you could say it's naive, it's a bubble it's necessary. You gotta save yourself before you can save somebody else. So don't feel bad saying to a wing, you know, goodbye because you gotta sort yourself out and he he's gotta sort himself out, you know? Yeah. Otherwise, he's dragging down. But anyway, let's dive into three practical infield things that you do and I watch you doing them all the time even in Colombia.

**Speaker 1:** First one is something you call fuck it. Yes. The the fuck it she says. Basically, this is like to cut the inner negative voice. Okay? So let's say you are out and you're doing daygame and then like you saw a girl who's she's very tall and then suddenly your brain giving you this thought like oh she's too tall, don't approach her, okay? And this moment I want you to call out these negative thoughts okay you can do that in your head you can do in your head or loud if you want okay so you say oh she's too tall and then I want you to say after that it I am good enough and then go and take right action.

**Speaker 0:** Now Try to move your feet when you're saying the words fuck it. Yes. To it's the old three second one. So it's very important here when you say it like fuck it to add some energy and especially when you say the statement as well. Okay? Alright, second one is something I see you doing,

**Speaker 1:** it's like this, we call it click it. What's this click it thing? Click it is kind of like you, first you have like some positive statement, okay and then you prepared these You already have to like you already like write basically what I did that I wrote some like you know powerful positive statement that make me feel good okay and then while I'm walking during daygame between the sets I say this in my head and while I'm saying that I click. Okay? For example, I can say like I have like a one I love to say all the time say I am good enough and outstanding to approach girls anywhere for example or I feel very relaxed. Something like that, something make you feel good you can create your own. It fills the head between the approaches because when the danger time is between the approaches. Yeah. Because between the sets like, it's very easy to get negatives. And when you say something positives, you distract the mind from the negative thoughts and that will keep you in a good state. That's why in pickup they call it, minimize time between interactions because it's just physics, you know. Okay.

**Speaker 0:** Third one is something I do more than you I think. I do this with students and we call it flip it. So it's a little bit different to fuck it. Fuck it is just turning off your brain and saying fuck it and you just walk and clear your head. Nothing in your head. Flip it, you have to think about something. Now, the way I teach it on programs, before even doing daygame, just sit on a in a cafe, sit on a wall, watch girls go past and I point to them and I say to the student, what does she look like? And the student says, she looks angry, She looks so bitchy. And then you hold the thought and you flip it and you say, what's the opposite of that? The student says, okay, she's not angry, she's a nice person, she's lovely and she's just stressed. And then you say the sentence to yourself, let's go and find out. And then you approach and you know what, 90% of the time what you think is the truth about these girls is wrong. They're not stressed. The reason they're walking fast is because in London everybody walks fast. The reason she looks grumpy is because in London everybody looks grumpy. Another example is you might say, she's so hot man, she must have a boyfriend. Lots of students say, she must have a boyfriend. So I say, okay, hold it, flip it. What's the opposite of that? They say she's single and she's lonely. I say, go and find out. And the student goes over and he finds out. So you can either do that sitting in a cafe or you can do it every time you have one of the weasels or yours is a little bit more direct, have the weasel, she's too fast and you say fuck it and you move you know which is that speed of implementation taking massive action. Yeah because sometimes not

**Speaker 1:** like enough like not anger but some kind of high energy can put you in a good state to take right action. When you walk like you know London or doing when you are doing daygame it's better to walk slowly okay but at the same time as soon you see the girl and as soon you want to approach her increase your speed because you need a bit of energy for that as well and it's amazing just by moving your legs. Yeah I find as soon as the student's moving his legs he it's momentum you know he just does it anyway the first step moving your leg is the hardest thing. The hardest things yeah and I think that's why when you do the fuck at your side is going to give you some kind of like push to start moving towards the gear.

**Speaker 0:** We're almost out of time already, that's crazy, half an hour goes so fast so we'll come back, we got lots of time in Colombia to talk about vibe and positivity. But also I wanted to add one more thing because here in Colombia, Rami and I are doing long day game sessions. And what we do every, I don't know, hour is we stop and we sit down and have a juice or a coffee and just rest by a fountain I or

**Speaker 1:** was like find when I go out and do day game, like after fifteen minutes or like one hour, I want to like sit down for like ten minutes, usually a good rest ten minutes. Don't have a big lunch, don't sit down at home because that's gonna fill your belly and you're gonna drop in energy. It's just a, it's a short vibe break. Yeah, ten minutes every fifty or sixty minutes is actually having a break, that's actually a great way to keep the energy because sometimes even if you are going, I've seen guys actually walking for like a three hours straight, I mean you're going to get really tired very easily. Especially if you're doing four approaches in three Hot country as well, it's also even worse actually. So taking like rest every like fifty minutes or like every 60. It's because you've only, however fit and healthy and young and positive you are, you've per day, you've only got a limited amount of vibe, good vibe. And remember,

**Speaker 0:** when you are tired, it's very easy to be negative. Like in general, when you are tired, feeling lazy, the negative thoughts can kick on very quickly so that's why you need to avoid that. That's why you need to be in high volume places because the night game is they don't have this problem. If you're in a busy club in Vegas, you can do 30 approaches back to back. Mhmm. In the daytime,

**Speaker 1:** I've seen guys wandering more than four hours, five hours, six hours, seven hours. Like maybe two approaches or three approaches. Yeah, so they're physically tired and think of all the demons that they in their head, so many voices. Negative movies or the negative like you know statements like for four hours and then they come back home like you know as well feeling emotionally exhausted.

**Speaker 0:** That's why it's a disclaimer, daygame can actually fuck you up worse if you don't approach. If you're just walking around thinking about game and letting these weasels beat you, you'll go home and your anxiety and depression will be worse. Yeah. So that's the health warning with all Guys,

**Speaker 1:** if you walk more than like an hour and you don't do like you know few approaches, then you need actually to either like take massive action

**Speaker 0:** or stop and go back home. We do our first approach within five minutes?

**Speaker 1:** Yeah, usually actually like my rule is like to basically, like, do the you know, the warmth up quickly. Jump in. Yeah. Jump in, like, doofy approaches in the first, like, thirty minutes. And this to be honest, like, when you which is the most important Most important time? Yeah. The first thirty minutes of daygame, if you manage it, you know, in a good way then the rest of your daygame will be actually more productive. How you are in the first thirty minutes is going to tell you how you're going to be for the next two hours. If you work like for thirty minutes or one hour doing nothing then probably the next like hour is going be the same or even worst.

**Speaker 0:** I say first one's the worst one and again same as you, say fuck it and you jump in. And the first one doesn't need to be a dream 10 or a nine, student says I don't like it. I jump in and I usually do an old grandma when I'm teaching just to show them. Get in, jump in, do a family, do a six, doesn't matter because you're just using

**Speaker 1:** positive vibe for your positive fuel. The first few approaches isn't about actually like quality or about you know getting numbers or anything, it's about you put you in a good state of mind, put you in a good like you know mindset. Get out There we go, that was today's podcast. Cheers Rami for coming on podcast 45,

**Speaker 0:** there's so much to talk about So we'll get you back for podcast 46 in a week's time. I think we'll still be here. Yeah. We'll still be in the jungle hiding from the gorillas. Until next time. Bye. See you guys. Bye bye.