---
title: Episode 52 The Secret Society
episode_number: 52
era: early
source_file: Episode 52 The Secret Society.mp3
audio_size_mb: 54.1
duration_sec: 1772.1
duration_min: 29.5
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T06:44:32Z---

# Episode 52 The Secret Society

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast. 52. Very early in the morning. Another morning voice sipping coffee in an airport lounge waiting for my flight today from Poland to New York JFK. New York East Side coming at you. It's gonna be good. It's a week of daygame, daygame coaching, daygame filming, seeing family from one cold place to another. Today's topic, really, really big one, the secret society, what men and women really do. Not what they say they do with their dating, relationships, sex lives, but what actually happens behind the curtain. Speaking of curtains, made me think of the passing away of a wonderful British magician yesterday. I think it was yesterday. It Thursday, March 17, Paul Daniels. If you're British, you'll know that name. Paul Daniels. He was an amazing man, a great charismatic cheeky chappy magician. Was on TV a lot in the eighties and the nineties when there were only three channels. 20,000,000 people apparently each Saturday would watch his televised magic show. He was famous for not only magic, but his seduction of women. A very charming, cocky, confident guy, and he was the first guy I saw on television where I said, wow, that is patter. That is banter. That is quick wit. It wasn't the magic, it wasn't the close-up illusion. Often they were quite simple card tricks with cups and balls, but it was the way he captivated the audience. So he was the first guy that got me into magic and then doing magic in primary school and always, like I said, my first book daygame, being interested in the art of the illusion, which went on to become daygame, which is just street magic, street illusion, street hustling, stealth seduction, which links with the topic for today. Anyway, a sad day and God bless him Paul Daniels for his massive influence. Today's topic, a secret society. I talk about it in my textbook street hustle. The first part of street hustle is going through the basics of the biology underpinning dating and mating. So I talk about two types of hustling. The first type, which again uses magic terminology. You can see how much I was influenced as a child by people like Paul Daniels. First type is the bait and switch. So you promise one thing, deliver another. That means she thinks you're the boyfriend, and then you run off. That's the sting. Makes you feel a bit shit, makes her feel shit. It's win lose temporarily because you get the sex. We've all done it where we've strung a girl along. We've hit the player side of us, and then you have sex, and it's bye bye. No more texting. No more calling. She feels weird. The second type of hustle that I talk about and which I say a daygamer should become over a period of months and years is the secret society where the hustle is not against the girl, but it's against society. Because society wants you to follow the set pattern, get married, have kids, one girl forever, leave other girls for everybody else, meet that said girl on Tinder or online or through bars and nightclubs and do the right thing. Follow the right course of action. Whereas a second type of hustle is that she gets casual sex, you get casual sex. She's most likely in a relationship or she's got another guy, a plan b guy or a guy who's looking after her, but she is fulfilling her sexual needs and fantasies and desires with you. So it's Bonnie and Clyde win win. It's society that misses out because behind closed doors, behind closed curtains, in public toilets, in parks right now as you're listening to this podcast, shock horror, there are a percentage of men in the world nailing girls in this way, and the girls absolutely love it. We don't like to acknowledge it because as a society, this rocks the boat. This would break down many of the things you see on TV and romantic comedies you read about in books. Obviously, married guys don't like it, provider guys don't like it. People that do the right thing, they don't like it yet. We're fascinated by it. Think of every movie plot, think of every soap opera. Women in particular love this idea of being taken, not in that Liam Neeson way, but in the idea of the alpha male, the cad, the lover, the James Dean bad boy on the motorbike, the 50 shades of gray boss or teacher. So we're gonna come on to that. That's the secret society. Now when I've talked about this in events, live seminars, I have had guys say, what is the website of the secret society? How do I join? What is the application process? It's not a literal club. We're talking metaphorical yet there is a percentage of men and women actually engaging in this stuff. You can estimate how much that is. Typically online, people would say 80% of men are beaters, some form of beaters. That is the classic nice guy boyfriend, husband, provider, even slipping into white knight sometimes. 20% of guys on the planet know what's going on, whether they learn too early on and they don't really understand it, they just get it on an instinctive level because of those bad boy high school experiences or through pickup, through game, through reading street hustle. They learn the ways of stealth seduction, how a street hustler picks up women by amplifying certain elements of his sexual market value, operating in a different sexual marketplace. All this is covered in section one. So where does the term secret society come from in terms of pickup and game? You have to wind back the hands of of time. Is that what Cher said? To, I think, 2007, which doesn't seem long ago, but in pickup that was years and years and years and years ago when you just type into Google how to pick up girls and only web one website would come up, and it was this weird geeky forum split into different sub forums and sub layers. And the Bristol layer, Bristol as in Bristol UK, managed to get a post from the one, the only, the very early, the very podgy at that time, Tyler Durden. Tyler from RSD. I'm sure you've heard the name at least. A man who produces wonderful content. Sometimes goes down the self help route a bit too much, but you can't deny his contribution to game. Anyway, Tyler in 2007 put up a post. It's still there. I'll link it below on The Secret Society. His statistics are a little bit bizarre. His rules of The Secret society are not spot on, but this is an early fleshing out, not flesh like fleshing out of the ideas that would go on to become modern day, daygame two point zero as you know it. So linking daygame and game pickup in general with evolutionary theory. So Tyler was kind of grasping in the dark, but in that post, you can see the scaffolding for what I'm gonna talk about today. So, yeah, credit to Tyler. He says in the post that 52% of the population on earth are in the secret society, 50% being women, 2% being male, and actually 1% of that 2% or rather half of that 2% being gay guys. So that leaves 1% of guys on planet earth being inside the secret society. They're the lovers. They're the cats. They are the mysterious guys that ride into town on the horse, the outlaws, or the motorbike. Sweep up the girl for a sexy seduction and then vanish into the night. Is it more like the 80%, 20%? Hard to say. If you look around you, secret society means it's secret. So when you give questionnaires or when you ask people about their sex lives on street surveys or polls or even if it's anonymous, people will not tell the truth. Maybe they have a boyfriend, maybe they have a girlfriend, a husband, or a wife. They're super Christian, they're super Muslim. They don't want to give off the wrong impression. They want to stay in the herd. So getting the truth about what people actually do, that's difficult. And as I've said many times before, when you're looking at the guys in the secret society players, CADs, they don't always look quote unquote alpha. So it's not always the guy that you say, wow, he's a he's a Beckham or he's a Clooney or he's a bodybuilder or he's in a rock band. The stereotypical two d alpha, let's say the guy, you know, pumping iron steroids down the gym, you think, yeah, yeah, he he fits into this alpha type. That's really not the kind of guy that's probably operating in the secret society. The secret society is secret. Let me just take a sip of coffee. So you don't know who's in and who's out. You can't tell just by looking at a guy. If you watch a guy long enough and you watch his behaviors and you watch how he interacts with other people, you might start getting glimpses of the secret society. But it's not until you were to look at his phone or to look at his dating schedule for the week or look at his lay count or watch him cold approach, which is obviously the best thing. Don't believe what people are saying on forums. Watch a man cold approach or even charm a group if we're talking about group dynamics, nightclubs, bars, then you can tell. Okay. I think this guy is in the secret society. Let's whiz through Tyler's 10 rules of the secret society in that 2007 post. Like I said, some of them are a bit weird, but lots and lots of element of truth. His first rule, he says, is don't talk about the secret society, which I accept is true. It's secret for a reason, and it upsets a lot of people. We'll come on to that. Number two, good emotions are the priority of the secret society. For girls, I'd say, yeah, that's true. Good feelings rather than rational logic for men. The priority is spreading your seed, your DNA, getting laid. Third rule, Tyler says, is to hide the truth from others. Yes and no. Again, I'd say yes for girls. They have to hide it because of their that's just their game plan as I talk about in street hustle. That's their hustle. They need the the DNA from the lovers, but they also need the guy to look after them, resources. We're talking about the majority of the world here. We're not just talking about, quote unquote strong independent feminized, western women. Number four, he says once you're in, you can take what you want. Again, a bit idealistic. Yeah. Once you're in, you can get laid a lot, but it doesn't mean that pussy's on a plate and you don't need to do anything about it. Not at all because you've still got that competition with the other 20% or 19% of guys who are in the secret society. No. It's not easy. Not every girl goes for it. You've still got a filter. You've got to find the right girl. There's still rejections. It's still yes, no, maybe. So it's not on a plate, but you see the matrix, you see the truth, and it makes everything a whole lot easier. Number five, he says, if you're not in, you're gonna beg for scraps. That is definitely true. So the 80% of guys, if you begging for scraps. They are buying girl shit, waiting, being her plan b, putting up with bad behavior, dating down, going on Tinder and getting that older, fatter girl, feeling bad, crying when she leaves because there's no other option, and still watching, you know, Disney movies, rom coms, Richard Curtis, Love Actually, Notting Hill, all that shite. They watch it and they believe it. Even worse, they might become white knights. Even worse, even worse, they might become keyboard, stay at home pickup artist trolls. Even worse, even worse, even worse, they might become anti pickup artist trolls, just angry, bitter, game over. Anyway, number six, Tyler says communication is often nonverbal, so it's subcommunicated. Yes. Yes. Yes. Totally true. So most of the secret society is not flash game. It's not clickbait. You wouldn't really recognize it if you walk past it on the street. You wouldn't even see how the guy in front of you at Starbucks does it because it's in his voice. It's in his cheeky cocky smirk. It's in his twinkling eyes. It's in the way he secretly gets that barista's phone number on a napkin or a coffee cup. Cup. It's under the radar. It's smooth. It's calibrated. That's why when I was talking about my new product, stealth seduction, I asked guys for ideas. What do you want to see? I think many guys, a, forgot that it was called stealth seduction, daytime stuff, and b, that it involves calibration, social intelligence. I'm not out to make a flashy clickbait product. I'm out to make solid game in fields. And many times, that just means watching her eyes, listening to the tone of my voice, doing something sneaky in a coffee shop or in a park. So only you and her know. Okay. We'll come on to why in a second. Number seven, this is classic. He says make fun of guys who are trying to get in. You might have seen Tyler do his funny impressions of newbies, nerdy guys, guys who he had just said are begging for scraps. Yeah. Okay. It's funny to do that, but Tyler shouldn't forget that he was. You could say he still is very nerdy. Everybody's been in that place when you're trying to get in and you're begging for scraps. Never forget that. Be grateful once you're in or half in or you've glimpsed being in for a a lay or two. So, no, don't make fun of guys who are trying to get in and also don't try and convert them. I used to in my first couple of years of game be evangelical about pickup and cold approach and tell every guy who was in that 80 that he was wrong. Every guy in a marriage was wrong. Try and educate everybody, even the skeptics, even the haters, even the trolls. What's the point? The secret society is secret for a reason. So no. Forget number seven. Number eight, says, it's not cheating. And I would agree. The biology, underpinning all this, again, it's in street hustle about why we're not monogamous, we're polygamous, why you, have this dual mating strategy of women, so women want strong DNA and a strong provider, why men wanna spread their seed. Religion, ethics, morals, they're not part of Darwinian evolution. Okay? Now I'm not advocating, horrible horrible things and that humans should be horrible to each other. I've already explained why altruism evolved. But to start getting more ethical and moral about the secret society, that's where you go down a very dodgy slippery slope. So for now, just accept it's not cheating. Now that rattles a lot of people, especially students. When I say, listen, when she says she has a boyfriend, carry on. Or when you see the wedding ring, carry on. And some students just say, no. It's against my morals. It's against my religion. Well, okay. I accept that. But the secret society doesn't. Okay? Number nine. He says, don't judge. There are no sluts and whispering because people have just arrived in this airport lounge, so don't judge. And, again, I would agree. Guys online will typically moan about girls who are playing the field, who are looking for lovers, who are looking for providers, who are going behind their boyfriend's backs. They'll look at women going to clubs and having same night lays or daygame fast pull same day lays and say, oh, these women are cheap. You know, I just wanted to do daygame for the good girls. Where are the good girls? I can't believe girls are behaving like this. Either I'm gonna call them all sluts and shame them or I'm just not gonna believe it because all women are snowflakes. The type of women I date are special and they would never behave like this. Sandra next door, she's the good girl, and she would never behave like this. So guys get very angry and judgmental about it. But if you're in the secret society, you've just got to smile like Jude Law's Alfie or Michael Caine's Alfie and say, this is the secret society. It is what it is. Number 10, he says secret society members come first. Well, come in a literal sense. Yes. I guess that's true. But again, it's a little bit like I'm in. You're out. Yeah. The secret society guys, they get a lot more casual sex. They get the hotter girls. They get the fun if you like, but as I've said many times, just getting laid will make you happy. Stealing other kids lunch money, it will make you happy. Do girls in the secret society come first? The majority of girls get it anyway. So, yeah, they come first in terms of prioritizing life if it's women that you want. Other guys that are in the secret society, it's nice to meet up with them as wings or to travel with them, to talk daygame with them. These are the good daygamers. These are the good nightgamers. These are the good cats. These are the good guys who've worked out table table hosting in Vegas, flash game, fame game, whatever. But are you gonna be best buddies with them? No. I would disagree with Tyler here because there's competition. It's dog eat dog coming back to, it's not cheating. So poaching wings girls or cock blocking, this is all part of the biological DNA hustle. All is fair in love and war. So would you go out with a load of other guys in the secret society? Probably not. That's what happens when daygame forum guys meet up and they go out in groups of 20 or 30, and it's a disaster. A mass approach. There used to be this group in London where guys would go out twenty, thirty guys on a Saturday and try to talk to kills. No. Either you do it solo or at most you have one more wing, especially when you're starting, gets over the AA, but daygame is a solo sport. You should be like a predator, a hunter. Okay? You should be hungry. And that's when the magic happens, the instant dates, the bounce backs. You pushing yourself, not only through the anxiety, but pushing past the nice guy into leading, dominating, and escalating. Anyway, let's think about the biology behind the secret society. I've talked about it at length on podcasts, on other videos about lover provider monogamy, polygamy. You should know all this by now. The lover provider spectrum from r selected to k selected this is based on biological ecological principles so you're either the rabbit having lots of sex pump and dump going crazy with the DNA or your k You're more like an animal, a mammal, a rare mammal who would mate for life or certainly long term and bring up the offspring with your other half. It's slower. It's more stable. Both of them have the same evolutionary end in sight, which is to pass on DNA. The rabbits just lose more. So a lot more infant mortality, but you're still looking at passing on your DNA. You should know, I've already mentioned about females having a dual mating strategy. The male mating strategy is just to pass on DNA. But the female mating strategy, she has to be a bit more clever. It's subconscious. Don't judge her for it. She's looking for the strong DNA from the quote, unquote alpha. She's looking for the provide the ship. And I know women will say in the West, well, we don't need it. But in most of the world, the woman is relying on the man to help bring up the child financially and to be there even for protection. Of course, caveman style, it would be physical protection as well. So she's looking for both. Ideally, hypothetically in one guy, but it's often impossible because alphas are not betas and betas are not alphas. She has a tendency to think about upgrading. This is called hypergamy. So even if she's married, even if she has a boyfriend, she's got her eye on a different guy. It doesn't mean she's gonna act. Don't be paranoid. Don't get angry. Don't panic. She might have that desire specifically once a month in her peak ovulation phase where she's seeking out alpha DNA. Whether she acts on it or not, debatable. So don't panic too much if you got a girlfriend listening to this, but I'm just saying she has a tendency. She has an inbuilt desire to upgrade. It's a bit like your phone. You're happy with your phone now. You might not trade it in today, but you're still looking in the shop windows. Alright. Still reading reviews. You might do a sneaky swap on the side. Yeah? Secret society, it's our selected. It's you in the dual mating strategy being the lover. How do you let girls know? Like Tyler said, it's subconscious under the radar stuff. So she might not even know consciously she's doing it, but you might flash her a look, a kind of a I know that you know that I know look. Her eyes might sparkle. She might go red. It's one of the things I like doing when a girl's walking around with a guy hand in hand, you can flash her a nice IOI as the guy is just staring off into the other direction, but she sees you. She has the big eyes. She smiles, and she just walks past. That's a good example of potential hypergammy, the dual mating strategy. You can try it. So put on your swagger, shoulders back, chin up, cocky smirk, walk down the middle of the pavement and just smile at women, married, single, old, young, in burkas, whatever. It doesn't matter. Okay? The point of the secret society is that you can trigger it in all women because it goes way deeper than sociology or religion. So I've slept with married girls, girls with fiancees, many many many many girls with boyfriends, strict evangelical Christian girls, virgins, Muslims, the sweet girl next door, library girl. So being the indiscretion with these kind of girls, you lift the lid on what really goes on. Does she do this every week? No. Does she, sleep with as many guys as I do girls? Maybe not. But I'm indiscretion. And each girl, she might only have two or three of these crazy story indiscretions in her life. But if you're the guy and you repeatedly do it, you can capitalize on this sexual marketplace with your, altered sexual market value. If you really wanna know how to alter your sexual market value dramatically, either listen to my free talks on YouTube or check out Street Hustle. Anyway, coming back to, being nonjudgmental, and Tyler mentioned this as well. Yeah? Very easy if you lift the lid occasionally or you read about guys lifting the lid or you see it happening in clubs, guys dragging girls off into toilets or in parks or you watch bounce back videos. Very easy to get angry, a, at those guys, and you get a little bit white nighty, you wanna protect the girls, and b, you get angry at the girls. You say, how dare they? When I went to Morocco, when I went to Turkey, I got a lot of hate mail from strict Muslim guys saying, how dare you pick on these women? These are our women. You know, we're trying to protect them. These are these are not for you. They would never do it anyway, so don't even try. Okay? And they're forgetting that paolity has been around a lot longer than our modern social or religious structures. Industry has what I call it, the pressure cooker effect of it building and building and building in a girl when you say to her, no. Don't do it. Wait for marriage. Be a good girl. And then she comes to London. There's a Turkish girl story in my first book daygame where she's held out, held out, held out, held out, huge family pressure. She comes to London to do an English course for a few months and bang, she meets Tom Torero. That's the precious cooker effect. Don't get grumpy. Don't get mad at women. Don't even get grumpy and mad at men because it's subconscious. It's largely hardwired. So women are not consciously walking around thinking of hypergamy or their dual mating strategy. Some, yeah, they're playing games. They're gold diggers or they're crazy, crazy party girls. But still, the majority of girls, it's just happening on a subconscious level. Read about the biology of it in things like sperm wars, fantastic book about the secret society, the biology of the secret society, the genetics of the secret society, sperm wars by Robin Baker, or, the evolution of desire, spoken about that book many times, Or now read about it in Rolo Tomasi's book one and book two of the rational male. Try to avoid the manosphere moaning in that book, anything political or anything which is getting angry with women. But the biology is good in there, and his timelines for what happens, they're all good. They're all taken from evolution of desire, professor David Bus, and Baker, and even Dawkins, and Matt Ridley. So rather than getting mad, understand that it's going on and why it's going on. Now some little tips to finish. If you're playing the player role, the CAD role, you're seducing girls quickly, you are doing the second kind of hustle, the Bonnie and Clyde thing, keep it subtle. Right? So no massive makeouts in the date venue. No escalating in front of her friends. Don't walk around with flowers holding hands. Right? Don't call her. Don't do all the boyfriend things with her because she's already got a husband or a boyfriend. Alright? Your role is the secret lover. So do it under the radar. Be discreet. This is appreciated by women massively. Coming back to this street hustle infield filming, stealth seduction, it has to be discreet because if it's not discreet, it's not secret society, and she can be judged for it. She can be punished for it. Women feel this, as you know, terribly with the anti sled defense. That's why you get token LMR often. You're being too blatant. And, yeah, it makes a good YouTube video, but, no, it doesn't make a good seduction. Watch what's a good film for this? Vicky Christina Barcelona. So watch that movie. I've said many times it's a good date movie. It's got a lover in it. It's got a provider in it. It's got the dual mating strategy. It's got hypergamy. It's got good girls. It's got bad girls. It's even got threesomes and bisexual stuff. Penelope Cruz, Gullet You Handsome, what is not to like? But watch it for how it goes through all the things I've just spoken about and how you have to be discreet, particularly when her boyfriend turns up her fiance turns up in Barcelona, and she's been banging Javier Bardem. Watch that. Watch the bible on this, which is Alfie, Michael Caine's Alfie, I've done a YouTube video on this. When I put that YouTube video up, it had positive feedback, but a lot of guys said, oh my god. This is depressing. This is terrible. This is awful. This is such a sad movie. And I guess those guys just haven't lifted the lid yet on the secret society. They don't see the joy, the beauty, the truth, the honesty honesty in that movie. Yeah. It doesn't have a happy ending because, this is not a a rom com. Look at how he loves women. Look at how he's not actually sad at the end of the movie. The the Alfie of Jude Law, yeah, that's a feminized beta version of the original book play and the Michael Caine movie, but it is what it is. So Alfie, Michael Caine, he accepts it. He slips slightly into the the neediness as we all do into the oneitis, but then he snaps back out of it. And the whole film, scene by scene, goes through the secret society. So if you're still not sure how it operates and how women get away with it and men get away with it and the difference between what a lover looks like and a provider looks like, then that movie, I could just watch it on repeat day after day after day. It will really help your game as well practically. I know this has been a theoretical podcast, but if you don't understand this theory, if as I say in Street Hustle, if you don't understand section one, if you don't understand lovers, providers, cats, dads, the secret society, then you're fucked because you're gonna be doing daygame in nice mode, in beta mode, in provider mode, in boyfriend mode, in Richard Curtis, romantic comedy mode. And you're gonna get put in the boyfriend box, the friend zone, whatever. So go through the fundamentals. Check out the films I mentioned, the books I mentioned. Let me finish my coffee. Let me get my flight, and I will speak to you. I promise. Next time from New York City. Ta da.