---
title: Episode 56 Action Beats Theory
episode_number: 56
era: early
source_file: Episode 56 Action Beats Theory.mp3
audio_size_mb: 57.6
duration_sec: 1886.8
duration_min: 31.4
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T06:50:40Z---

# Episode 56 Action Beats Theory

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 56. Ciao from Italy. We are back after a ten day hiatus, a little breather where hopefully you haven't been listening to podcasts or watching videos or reading things. You've been out there talking to girls doing my ten ten challenge. That's why there's been no vlogs or blogs or tweets or whatever the cool kids on the street call interaction these days and we'll come on to the fruits of our labors. That's what this podcast is all about. But I wanted to kick off with an email, a very nice email, a little bit lengthy but it's a story, it's motivating, it's a window into a guy actually doing something. And if you're the guy that wrote me this email, I won't say your name or where you're from. Let's chat on Skype. I'm quite happy to chat on Skype to you for free to go over what you said and just to congratulate you in person. But anyway, I'll change your details. I hope you don't mind me reading out this email, but it's gonna be very useful. Hopefully, this will kick somebody else up the arse because if I nag people they don't listen but hopefully your story will inspire. He says, dear uncle Tom, my name is my name is, we'll just say Bob. I am a 25 year old Muslim man. He's from a Muslim country in The Middle East with more passion for daygame than you. I started daygame two years ago at university. It has truly changed my life. It has changed me beyond comprehension. Prior to daygame, I had several long term one-sided infatuation heartbreaks from two fat girls and one weird one. All of them Muslim. No game, no social calibration, needy as fuck. I decided that I had had enough and took action after a massive heartbreak in third year of uni. I was introduced to game through a psychotic friend. He was a fearless bastard. He showed me how to approach and destroy any approach anxiety. He knew how to be intriguing but he lacked social calibration immensely. I learned from his mistakes and gave myself a challenge to approach five to 10 girls a day at uni and get at least two or three numbers and one date a week. I love it. That is good. That is focus. This was my objective and my goal for the second semester of university 2014. I went on many dates, had a few instant dates up to a 100 number closes, good on you, and a few kiss closes. The majority, 90% of the girls I was gaming were rich, very beautiful southern English girls with trashy, trendy, arrogant, we are cool as fuck hippie style characteristics. I know what you mean. They were fucking mean and harsh but I learnt so much. I should repeat that line. They were fucking mean and harsh but I learnt so much. Topic of today. Moving on from university, I went for a few trips abroad to game including Croatia, Norway, and Sweden. I had many number closes, not many dates for logistical reasons. They were fairly short trips with a bad wing. On my travels, I met about four or five beautiful blonde babes in which I took pictures with and used to motivate myself. He says, not physically whenever required. Upon returning to The UK, I gained hard. I finally lost my virginity to a beautiful Welsh girl. Yad Hidar, get in there. The Welsh flag, congratulations. He said, she was wonderful, exclamation, exclamation. I love this footnote. She was drunk but my game was tighter than her pussy. Welsh girls, always classy, always drunk. The whole process from meeting to fucking took about one and a half hours. Nice one. I led, escalated, created attraction, cocky funny, teasing, moving her, and finally fucked her at her place. Sadly, I never saw her again. Through game I also found a girl I was regularly seeing. She was pretty hot but not as tight. I gamed her and she was hooked. I still see her and we're good mates. All these beautiful experiences would not have been possible if it wasn't for game. And then I'll skip a bit, he talks about going back to his home country. He had to do a job, there weren't any girls around and then he went back to a city in The UK. In 2016 he started gaming again only once or twice a week at uni during the evenings or on Saturdays. Not much luck as I cannot meet girls after work, I commute from one city to another and by the time I am home I am drained of all my energy. Weekends busy with other things but I still try to put a few hours in. See the focus, see the dedication, this is great. I took a little game holiday about a month ago. I returned from the trip gleaming. I won't say where he went, but it's a classic European daygame destination. So he went there for twelve days. He says, I traveled solo, stayed in a hostel until I got a few leads, then Airbnb, great trick. The numbers are as follows, mister Tom. This is following on from Thomas's podcast 55 last time when we were talking about data. Here we go. He says these are his results. One notch, congratulations. One bounce back, four instant dates, 10 plus numbers or Facebook closes, three Tinder dates, I won't say anything. Five or six kiss closes, good job. And he's still in touch with about five of those girls. The age range, I can't say that, the age range was 17 to 22. Fantastic. Hot, sexy, young European god sent peaches, he says. Realistically, I could have had four notches but I slapped. I loved it. Never been so happy. I will be leaving my job in two weeks and I am looking to work as a freelancer. I'm gonna live and travel around Europe and game like a dog. You have been the biggest inspiration to me, Tom. I love you, man, he says. That's nice, bro. Love coming back at you. I love your videos, your travels, your adventures, your style, minimalist, efficient, intelligent living. Love your products and free YouTube content. You're very welcome. During my one hour commute to work and back, I always listen to your podcasts and the recommendations you provide such as four Hour Workweek, The Selfish Gene, etc. And he says, get in touch with me and I am. After I record this, I'll reply to that email or if you're listening to this on your way to work and you think that is my email then get in touch with me and let's chat on Skype. But congratulations again, amazing story and if you haven't guessed today's topic that email was a shining example of why daygame is empirical, alright, over theoretical, over scientific theory. Empirical just meaning knowledge acquired by observation and experimentation. I think it's from the Greek word experience, yeah, or the senses. And we'll kick off with that quote that I love that I've tweeted before, action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve. Now of course, I'm not knocking theory. I was a scientist at university. There's a time and a place for the scientific method and scientific abstract theory but not for game. Even though I'm always saying 90% infield 10% theory, it's probably more like 99% infield 1% theory which is in street hustle. So we need to go out there, we need to observe, we need to experiment, we need to change something, try again, see how it works, think about what just happened, change something else, rinse and repeat. So think about it like this, if I said you had to go up Everest with a mountain guide, would you go up Everest with a guide who's read loads of books and he's rationally thought about it and he's mapped the mountain and he's seen all the documentaries and he knows every stat there is to know about Everest and snow and ice and climbing or would you choose to go up with a guide who knows none of that? You could say he's the opposite of rational in terms of his theory but he's climbed it and summited Everest five times. So who would you go up with? Who would you go daygaming with? A guy who's read all the PUA books, he's watched all the PUA videos, he's been to every seminar, he's downloaded illegally all the material or would you go out with a daygamer who's been doing it like the chap in the email for a year or two and getting results. Okay, that's what we mean by empirical game. So it's another nag about action rather than mind wank. Practical experience over theory, so we're going to forget the mental masturbation, we're going to forget the mind wank, we're going to forget the procrastination and we're going to take action which is my tagline, grabbing life by the horns, yeah. More importantly, if you're taking dating advice from generic videos or generic men's magazines like Shitty GQ or Men's Health, from dating columns, generic books written by people who've maybe been on five to 10 dates and now they're married with kids and they mean well, they think this sounds right, know theoretically this sounds right, this should work so I'm going to write a top five things to do article about how to kiss a girl, how to get a girl, how to get a girlfriend, how to sleep with a girl, whatever. They're giving this generic dating advice which has not been field tested. So often it's the opposite of what is true. Watch my YouTube video about counter intuitive game truths. Most of the fundamental truths in game are the opposite of what your mom told you, maybe what even your dad told you, certainly what you learned at school or in any movie ending. So that's why to most guys they just don't make sense. In the back of Street Hustle I go through I think 15 major counter intuitive game truths but on that YouTube video I go through five. And it's also very confusing because now the internet is clogged up with infields and it's clogged up with seminars so every Tom, Dick and Harry is chipping in and you're not sure whether that Tom, Dick or Harry has been out there slaving away infield approaching thousands of girls or if he's just another armchair PUA. So the guys that give you advice, maybe you comment on a YouTube video and they offer some advice underneath. How do you know if that advice is theoretical or empirical? I call them armchair PUAs or stay at home daygamers and you'll often see this. I'll put an infield out and a guy will critique it based on his theoretical understanding of game. He'll say, well hang on a minute, that hook wasn't what I read about. You only teased twice instead of three times. Hang on, that set was six minutes rather than eight minutes. Hang on, it was too sexual or Hang on, this seems too social and I've read that. I think that. What would happen if, yeah it's like people that spend their lives arguing, debating, trolling on platforms like Twitter yeah. I call them Twitter warriors, paper alphas, sideline critics I think you call it in football, armchair radicals, guys that know everything they can talk the talk but they don't walk the walk and like I said if you're in the scientific community, no I'm not knocking scientific theory but with game and girls we have to take this hands on approach. The game is played infields. I quote Mystery saying that many, many times. So that's why I did the ten ten challenge. Let's come back to what's been happening in the last ten days. I said ten days ago, go out for ten days and every day approach 10 girls. That makes a 100 approaches and that's a good data set even if you're a beginner to learn the front stop or learn the open and the basic stack to improve your voice, stop the upward inflections, stop sounding really needy, to focus on your eyes, to not interview her, what's your name, what are you doing, where are you from, do you like it, oh that's so cool, not building rapport but breaking rapport, so practicing some spikes, practicing some teasing, practicing some challenging. Maybe you got onto storytelling, so getting the topic she gave you and then boom, using the Launchpad, there's a video on that or it's in Street Hustle. When I think of X, I think of Y or My friend said that or My friend is a and he said that and then into storytelling. Maybe you noticed the hook point and its different forms, maybe you realized you had to turn off your game, dial it down, let her invest. Maybe you were practicing qualification or closing strong, persisting when she said she has to go or she has a boyfriend, persist, persist, persist. Maybe you took it further with instant dates, you said fuck it to the number, burn your boat's mission, you left your phone at home. Maybe you did a bounce back, maybe you got laid but here's the weird thing and I've been putting out that challenge I think for four years, this is year number four. Considering that my YouTube channel has I think now 10,000 subscribers, none of them brought, 10,000 real subscribers. It is still alarming that only a handful of guys, I think around five guys this time actually left a blog, a log rather of their daily approaches. Maybe you were doing it and you didn't leave a comment, that's fine but it's still an alarming statistic that so many guys watch the YouTube videos, download the podcast, the podcast get thousands of downloads from iTunes and even people watching them on YouTube. Yet a few guys went out there and did it. So I'll keep doing this challenge every year and I hope even for one or two guys it made a difference, you went out there, you tested all this theory and you got some results. I randomly put the guys that were doing it into the random comment thing, random comment generator chooser and the winner of the free Skype coaching is Roosho Sahota. Again I'll send you a private message but sometimes it's weird to get them via YouTube. So if you're listening, Roosho Sahota, well done for your approaches and you've won for your efforts a three hours Skype session with me. So we'll do that whenever, wherever. And another quote, Motivation will die, let discipline take its place. So yeah, even this podcast or going to a seminar or reading a book, that's motivation and you get all fired up like giving up smoking or losing weight or joining a gym or becoming a marathon runner, you get all fired up and then it all fizzles out, we all know that feeling. So rather than motivation, this is why I'm not big into things like Tony Robbins, you know, life coaching, daily discipline, small habits that are initially painful, they become boring and tedious but just small quiet actions repeated over and over and over and over again like the guy in the email saying that he had that thing where he's got to go out, he's got to get x number of numbers, x number of dates a week, that's what gets results. Alright, so those cheesy kind of motivational quotes on Facebook with sunsets and puppies and yeah, they're twee, they're sweet but no. We need to look at men who are taking action. Speaking of action, I've been busy. I did the ten ten challenge but I've also been hitting it really, really hard since kicking off my stealth seduction in field filming. It's all around the world, daygaming not just on a one type of girl, the front stop but daygaming in all scenarios and all types of girls, not just dating or instant dates but same day lays, the full spectrum, LMR, married, milfs, girls at university, two sets, black girls, Asian girls, English girls. That's right. English girls, shock horror. American girls, European girls, Northern European girls, Eastern European girls and of course, some Russian girls. And already I've got three full open to closes in the bag and all of them are 19. So I could put the product out already, I'm happy with it. These have massive learning points because they're all different. They're all 19 years old, they're all hot, one is American, one was Ukrainian, one was Polish, one of them was a same day lay, one of them was a day two lay, that means first date and one of them was a day three lay which means second date and different degrees of LMR, different personalities. So yeah, yeah, said Autumn twenty sixteen for the release but maybe we can get it done by summer because I'm juggling traveling, teaching and the filming but it's fun. Anyway let's come back to empirical and some things that can fire you up, yeah as motivation but thought is taking action. While I've been traveling I've been watching documentaries in airports, on planes, love documentaries and two that stood out that were very reminiscent of the daygame phenomena were two skateboarding documentaries. One called Dogtown and Zed Boys about the birth really of modern skateboarding in 1970s Los Angeles, Santa Monica when surfers started riding concrete, started riding swimming pools and doing it experimentally, not learning by thinking, not learning by analyzing, not learning by calculating or talking but just going out there and doing it and doing it for the love of it, doing it for the fun of it, being in flow but pushing each other. Competition is really, really for this empirical explosion. Wanting to show off, wanting to impress but wanting to push the boundaries of what's possible. So touching the lip of the swimming pools with their skateboards and then getting some air and how all that links to modern skateboarding. And the second documentary which kind of follows on with a bit of a historical gap is called All This Mayhem about their infamous Papas brothers from Melbourne Australia, Taz and Ben and how they pushed it. They pushed it extreme with ramps and pipes and how they took it to another level and ultimately how it success was all consuming for both of them. So a bit of a tragic story but inspiring for this action taking. And daygame fits into this urban culture. I see it exactly like the growth of skateboarding, as I've said, like parkour, free running, like graffiti. So it's transforming these rather ugly urban lonely landscapes into playgrounds yeah. Playgrounds of competitive experimentation and this is why you get explosions of subcultures whether it's grunge or hip hop but daygame follows this exactly. So I embrace a bit of competition. It kicks me up the ass, it's good. I like the younger guys coming in, not ripping off my stuff but taking it to a whole new level and changing and adapting it and pushing things And then I watch that and go, Jesus Christ, that's a different style of daygame. That's why I like watching enthusiastic students. I always learn something from students that are pushing it hard or when I do Skype talks to guys that are getting results or I get emails like that, I think, fuck, this is good. Guys are trying it, they're taking it, they're running with it, they're adapting it, it's evolving. That is the definition of evolution, yeah. This is empirical game, so going out there and pushing it. And this will always trump in my opinion sociologists, social scientists, psychologists and they're looking at anecdotal kind of survey questionnaire data that they've gathered on campus or via mail and then they're making conclusions about how people interact, how men and women interact, the difference between the sexes whereas a good daygamer who's been doing it for two, three, four years, speaking to thousands of girls, going on hundreds of dates, sleeping with hundreds of girls, that person is recognizing real world patterns saying, If I do this, then girls do this. If I act like this, girls do this. If I say this, this is what happens. And I've been saying this to the guy I was living with recently. He was trying different date venues all over the city and I said, look, keep it the same, right, to calm yourself down, to be able to test this live in field. Keep your venue one the same, keep your bounce to venue two the same, even keep the seats the same, even keep the drinks the same, even keep what you're wearing the same. Follow the date model. What are you doing in Venue 1? How are you bouncing? What are you doing in Venue 2? How are you bouncing from there, seeding it to the apartment? What are the logistics in the apartment? Keep it the same, keep the movie the same. You know my joke about watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona hundreds of times, I really have done that because when all this is on autopilot and I've tried and tested it, it makes me calm and therefore the leading and the escalating is much easier and I can see patterns. If you keep switching things, there's too many variables, you won't know. Was it my jacket? Did I have something in my teeth? Was it her? Was it me? Did I escalate properly? Did I not escalate properly? Whereas keeping it the same, testing one thing at a time, that's how I gather my tricks, my daygame Torero tool belt. It all came from this, observations in field and I've said many times, record your sets, even record your dates on your phone. Get a dictaphone which runs longer. Going on, listen to commonalities, try out different things, try out different spikes, try out different stories, try out different lengths of sets, different scenarios and in the last ten days I just jotted a few observations down. I'm always jotting things down, you never stop learning. I jotted down a miss out rapport at your peril. Alright so I've been trying for the fast stuff, either the same day lay or the day two lay, the first day lay bringing her back and just escalating hard and obviously it works with some girls but not all girls and I forget sometimes, God I need rapport. Now the nice guy, he sinks in rapport, he's stuck in rapport but when you become a bit of a cocky cunt and you're pushing it and you're trying to be the bad boy and you've been hitting it hard, you swing towards bad boy, escalate, escalate, escalate and you forget about calming down, rolling off, being normal, giving her a hug, just watching a bit of a boring movie. Okay, even after the same day lay, like the same day lay, the one that's going be in stealth seduction with the 19 year old, rather than just bringing her back, fucking her, kicking her out, next because I want to see her again and I have seen her again, after the lay, it was hugging, it was talking, it was deep rapport, it was just the act of holding somebody, it releases that oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. That's where the mystery seven hour thing comes from. He didn't really mean it takes exactly seven hours to fuck a girl but if you've been with a girl for around seven hours in this bubble especially after sex and you bed it down and you do normal things then she starts to develop feelings for you. That's just how the body works. So I wrote don't miss out rapport'. I reminded myself about grounding because I was doing all these flashy sets. It's very tempting when you're filming yourself to do flashy sets. I missed out the grounding so saying my job, saying where I'm from, being normal yeah. I wrote down qualifying. I noticed I wasn't qualifying enough even on dates so I added in some qualification. Did with one of the girls, I did my shopping bag trick which I talk about in Street Hustle where for the second date you show up at the meeting point and you're already carrying a shopping bag and in that shopping bag surprise surprise is a bottle of wine, maybe a beer, some ice cream, some household shit and the trick is you don't have to have gone out and bought it. You can just fill up a plastic bag from your cupboard, walk to the meeting spot and it's like you've just been shopping and she's like, oh, what's in the bag? And you say, it's just groceries. Let's go, let's drop them off and that's the trick, you take it back to yours and you drink the wine. So that's a shopping bag trick that I've been using. One of the, I've been also, of course, I'm always talking about positives because that's how my mind works but even in this ten ten, 100 sets that I've been doing I've had blowouts obviously, I've had flakes, I've had first dates where they vanished, I've had a couple of girls on my bed, LMR, one girl just walking out like no, I don't think we're compatible, goodbye. And I learned from one of those, I wrote don't watch a good movie. Right? Because we watched that girl, we watched Nightcrawler which is a really good like neo noir thriller about a nighttime cameraman in LA and it's so good and so tense that you can't even speak in it, can't even touch each other, you can't escalate in that film because it's too good. So with another girl yesterday I put on something light and cheesy and trashy and shit. Was YouTube. It was carpool karaoke, you know, with James Cornyn from The Late Late Show. Just flick through the carpool karaoke. You can watch Mr Bieber. You can watch Chris Martin. It's fun and it's light and girls like it. And from that with the girl yesterday we were doing karaoke. So when you've had a few drinks YouTube, you stick on a few karaoke hits and you just sing. You get drunk and you sing and I noticed that certain songs like when I do Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, classic, a song I used to busk with, Girls always go floppy and dreamy and a little tear in their eye, yeah they love it. So get good at one karaoke song, I've said that before and then just randomly say in the karaoke bar, oh yeah I'll give this one a go, bang and knock it out. Karaoke is beautiful, it shows this lack of worrying about what other people think and I jotted down some LMR lines I've been using or other anti token LMR lines I've been using. So when she's trying to take the frame I said to a few of the girls, said, oh I can see you like the masculine energy, I can see you like being the male here and that snaps them out of it and they usually don't want to be obviously so they stop doing it and if she's still playing games I say, wow, you make me feel like a teenager, you know, with these cute games. I haven't felt like this since I was 16, know, Tom and Jerry, cat and mouse, it's so cute. How old are you? Are you like 12 or something? This is ridiculous, you know. This is why I like dating all the girls because they're more direct And that takes the frame back because obviously she doesn't want to seem immature. You're using words like teenager, games. You're saying, listen, I like being direct, I like being honest. I've spoken about this before those were working for me this week. So there you go, doing it, taking observations, making adjustments, doing it again. Let's finish with a few quotes. In theory there is no difference between theory and practice but in practice there is. I like that. So you can debate all you like on Facebook, on Twitter, fucking Twitter, debate, debate, debate, trial, trial, trial, shout at each other from the safety of your iPhones and Starbucks. Oh the irony. But until you go out there and either put on boxing gloves and have a fight or draft yourself into the army and go and fight for what you believe in or go out there, hit the streets, do daygame, try all these things that you've been arguing about, you'll never know. And that's where the saying comes from, truth happens to an idea. So ideas, yeah, they're great. Yeah. How to open a five set in a shopping mall but truth happens to that idea when you go out, rubber meets the road and you try it. Yeah. Einstein said, pure logical thinking cannot yield us any knowledge of the empirical world. All knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it. Thank you mister Einstein, pimp daddy. And I'll finish by saying that what you do is what matters, not what you think or say or plan. And with grabbing life by the horns, apply that to girls but apply that to your whole life, whether that's you want to travel, you want to write a book, you want to make an app, you want to set up a website, you want to do this, you want to do that, you want to learn how to ski. What you do is what matters, not what you think, not what you say or not what you plan. So use these podcasts, use my videos, use the books, use whatever as the kick up the ass but please, please, please, please do something and please email me. I love the success emails even if it's just a little success like you went out and you spoke to a girl and she smiled and you felt good. The emails remind me of why I'm doing this, they're a great thing to wake up to because if only you could see what else I get in my inbox, the trolls and the angry emails and the mental masturbation and the weird ones. So let's make the good ones outnumber these weird ones and maybe I could do a whole podcast where we read out some success stories because it's nice for me and I hope it's useful for you. There we go, that was podcast 56 from Italy. I'm flying back to London actually to see family so next podcast will probably be from Wales or maybe it will be somewhere else in Europe. But let's see. Go out there. Enough listening for today. Go and talk to some girls. Ta da.