---
title: Episode 61 Daygame Q&A
episode_number: 61
era: early
source_file: Episode 61 Daygame Q&A.mp3
audio_size_mb: 86.0
duration_sec: 2818.1
duration_min: 47.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T06:59:29Z---

# Episode 61 Daygame Q&A

**Speaker 0:** Good morning. Tom Torero. Podcast 61, a marathon q and a. Early in the morning, I'm sitting here with my coffee, and then I'm going straight to the airport. I'm flying to New York JFK, second time this year for a five day residential. It's going to be intensive. So I don't know how much video I can edit and upload. I'll definitely shoot video and I'll do my best. But I love New York City. I'm very, excited. Couple of things before we launch into the many questions that were sent. Thank you very much for those. First one, my last live teaching of the year is in Vancouver this summer BC July 30 and or the August 6. So different training days. There's Saturday street hustle infield daygame coaching twelve to 5PM. It's the full Torero toolkit from street hustle. So not just outside but in coffee shops and shopping centers and, restaurants and down by the water, wherever. Last chance to train with me this year. So if you're in North America, the Northwest, drop me an email if you wanna reserve a place. Some have gone already last night. Tom@tomterrero.com. Second thing, the Polish waitress story. That's what I've jotted down. In the last video, I showed you some scratches and bruises and I had some concerned emails. Guys just wanted to know the story. So Polish waitress in a sushi restaurant. That's right. Polish sushi. Sounds like a contradiction but it's true. After a day game session which was mediocre, I sat down, mid afternoon just to have some lunch and the waitress was giving me big eyes. She was lingering, she, offered to make me like some fresh juice even though it wasn't on the menu, blah blah blah. She was giving me lots of IOIs, but this is an indirect direct approach. My favorite form of game, the pinnacle of game, but you can't really teach it. It's situational. It's lucky when it happens. You just need to recognize the IOIs, that secret society. She was cute and she was 22. She was blonde. She was from the North Of Poland, so slightly more blonde with the blue eyes, a little bit more Scandinavian, a little bit more Baltic. And you can't do a direct, hey, excuse me, I think you look nice. So the trick is to break rapport. Remember, attraction is in the push, so you tease her, I accused her, you watch out for IOIs, IODs, you've got to be calibrated in this, locked in environment, people were around us, her colleagues were around us. I halfway through said how many husbands did she have, how many secret boyfriends did she have, she told me she was single and that she was moving to The UK in a couple of months. Anyway, got the bill and got her number. She was a bit of a game player over text, she was changing the times and the venues for the date but she came out, a few beers back here and that's when the fun fireworks began. Now remember the word is fun, it's just part of the dance, it's expected, it's normal but she was, she was enjoying it like Tom and Jerry. It was going on for a few hours, she was teasing me, she loved it and then I did the royal flush, I said listen, I'm too old for games you know, if you want to go just go, I've got to go to bed, I've to sleep and ironically when I kind of stopped trying, which is the ultimate irony of game, the ultimate contradiction, she snuggled up next to me, she said it's too late to go home. We slept for all of three seconds and then it was very passionate and really that's where those marks came from. She enjoyed biting, which I don't enjoy. So I'd have to say no, stop biting, you know. She enjoyed being a little bit dominant but she was a wild one and, and it was fun. It always just ruins me the next day. You can tell I'm an old man now. But after not sleeping all night and having too many beers and whiskeys, I felt it yesterday. Anyway, enough about that. Let's go into the questions. But a caveat about these questions, a disclaimer. I'll go through all of them but I'm going to whiz through the ones that are obvious that I've answered before on podcasts, yet you might have just been a bit lazy, you haven't gone through the channel, right? You haven't maybe listened to the other q and a podcast or you haven't seen in street hustle there are the 100 most common day game questions at the back of street hustle the last third of the book is me answering all those typical questions about what is the daygame model? What do I do on a date? How do I kiss a girl? Etcetera etcetera etcetera and it's not that, I'll never answer them again, it's just I've answered them now for five, six years and the answers are already out there even in free form. So if I whiz through your question, it means I've already answered it somewhere else. First question's from my Facebook page. Zhuan says, two main things to build attraction, teasing and challenging. Can you elaborate on these? How do you practice and be better at teasing and challenging? What's the difference between these and negs? You answered your own question really. Attraction, like I said, is flirting and flirting is breaking rapport, not making rapport. So avoid the the comfort, nice chit chat, small talk. You have to push it. It has to come from a positive place. So teasing and challenging. They're not negs because you're not trying to be nasty. It's not a bitchy girl in an LA nightclub, where you've really got to work to break rapport on the street. It's just, a dust. A little bit of pushing her until she smiles, until she hooks. The way to practice it is to do it. Float with everybody like I've floated with the waitress, float in the coffee shop, float with the old woman in the supermarket, break rapport with your friends. You will get better and better and better. This is the bread and butter of daygame, the stacking and the vibing. It is learning how to flirt. And if you're still stuck, Joanne, drop me an email and I'll send you a flirting guide. Okay? And then you got to go out and you got to practice practice practice for about a year. Right? This is a skill set. You can't just pick it up immediately. It's going to take you about a year. Okay? And being on the street, cold approach is the fastest way to learn that. If you try to learn that in your social circle or at work or you just waited in your day to day life to learn that, it would take years and years and years. Alright. Bish Bivishan says, is it possible to daygame in a country like Nepal? Yeah. You can daygame anywhere. Anywhere there is the opposite sex. A bit bit of daygame in Nepal, bit of a Sherpa daygame. Yeah. In Kathmandu, in Pokhara, think of the tourists, think of the number of girls going to find themselves quote unquote in India or Nepal. Of course, humans are the same the world over in terms of dating, mating and how we eat and how we react to predators, okay. Our basic life needs are exactly the same so don't get confused when you say how is a girl from Nepal different from a girl from Sweden. Sure there are cultural differences in the dating and the length of the dating dance, but the hardwired needs, they're exactly the same. So follow Joanne's advice about attraction and in Nepal you want to tease and you want to challenge the girls. Naarfal says, how to handle game with a school or job that takes your entire time. I just made a YouTube video on that, Naarfal. You've got to prioritize this as an area of your life. If you're still in school, then I'd get school out of the way. I'll just keep my head down. I'd probably watch the videos, read the theory, get into a bit of social circle, get my fashion and grooming and health sorted. So by the time you're in college or university and you're a free man, then you can really start, alright, because the dating fun doesn't really begin till your mid twenties. So now is the time to get everything else sorted. If you've got a job, watch that video on the excuse I don't have enough time, you have to make time, alright. I went out every evening with a very hectic primary school job because it was my priority. And if you think about it really, women are most men's priority. If you're under the age of 40 and you've not got this sorted, that's why guys get the car, that's why guys make a rock band, that's why guys buy those certain clothes, it's to attract girls. So, if this is really something you want to get sorted, you have to prioritize it. Question number two from Narfal says, how to have a girlfriend and yet avoid oneitis? That's a very big question, maybe for another podcast, I talk about it in Street Hustle. Even if you've got a girlfriend, you need to be flirting with other girls, yep, in front of your girlfriend because essentially you need to show her that she needs you more than you need her. So this is not being nasty, this is just showing her that you have abundance, that you're confident, that you're cocky, that you've got charisma, that you've got choice. Okay? So I would flirt with other girls, keep other girls in the background because that's what your girlfriend's doing on her social media with guys. She's not doing it consciously but she can jump shit pretty quickly and the guy gets needy and he cries and he's like, the chap in the movie swingers, know, crying for one year after a breakup because he hasn't got any options. A lack of options, I. E. A lack of abundance leads to one iters neediness and all the terrible things. So if you've a got girlfriend, sure. You don't have to do full on day game sessions but keep on flirting, perhaps even keep on collecting leads. If you wanna listen to more about different forms of relationships where you can have your girlfriend but also sleep with other girls, Listen to the last podcast with black dragon. Tom Chambers. These are YouTube questions. Tom says, what are the best responses to these frame tests? First one, says, I'm not attracted to short guys or rather the girl is saying, I'm not attracted to short guys. Remember Tom, you've to agree and amplify, never argue. So I would say, yeah, definitely I'm not attracted to short guys either, you know. I went through that phase but after prison, you know, no more oompa lumpas. Yeah? Or you say, yeah, guys it would be terrible. Our babies would just be disgusting. They'd be like little hobbits. This is never gonna work out. We're divorced. Alright. Smoke on your face, big smile, agree and amplify. Or non reactive, just turn away and go, oh look, there's a butterfly. Second one Tom asks is when she says, I'm not attracted to Asians. I would say, well, I'm not attracted to Asians otherwise, you know, I look in the mirror every morning and I go, oh my god, our babies are gonna be awful, you know. Or live up to the stereotypes, you notice that whenever I'm talking about whales, I'm talking about rain and mountains and not taking off your coat until the age of eight because I didn't know, you could. They don't sell sun cream in Wales, know, sheep fucking is our winter sport. You live up to the stereotype with a smile on your face. So, often I'll make fun of myself, self deprecation, just be careful with that and if you're not confident, it'll come across as weak. You gotta have that confident smirk on your face or again, non reactive. Alright. Daygame live. He's asked a few questions to cheeky bastard. He says, how do you keep the fire alive when hitting the streets? Now you've been doing it for almost seven or eight years. A bit less than that, really full time. But how do I keep the fire alive? I say quite cheesily, daygame used to be something I do, now it's something I am. Don't drink my coffee. Because when I quit my job and I started travelling and teaching other people, this became my full time thing. I take time off, I put my focus on video, I put my focus on podcasts, I put my focus on filming, travel is a big part of my thing. You have to eventually shift from it being all about you yet and getting the skill set down, getting laid, to passing something on. Again, that sounds like Tony Robbins cheesiness, but it's it's the truth of life. Everybody knows this. It has to be win win in the end. So you pass on your knowledge, you write about it, and I've got other things going on in the background, other plans where I can go bigger, I can go deeper, that's what I said to her and, it can be harder but it's gonna feel good. So sure, I'm out there most days hitting the streets, doing my day game, but I'm balancing it with other things. That's common sense. Yeah? And if you're feeling burnt out, take some time off. That's why I often go into nature. I go and do, things where there are no girls, you know, go up a mountain or go paddling on a lake or go and stand on a beach or go on a wilderness drive or spend time with your male friends. Alright? Balance. He also asks, storytelling on dates. Do you ever lose passion when running the date model knowing you have told a certain story so many times before? Good question. Yeah. Some of the gambits, I'm aware of when I'm telling them like Strawberry fields or I'm doing, the fingerings or I'm telling the same grounded story, but you got a freestyle, right? Unconsciously competent, that's the final stage of learning a skill set, you drop the structure. So on a date now, unless I'm recording recording myself for, my infield product where it's got to be a lot clearer and more regimented, I just let it flow. And then if I hit a brick wall or, you know, I fuck up, I go back to the structure and tell a tried and tested story. But, no, by the second year of daygame, you should be free styling. Yeah. We say in the beginning it's 80% structure and 20% free styling, and then after two, three years, it should be 80% free styling and 20% structure. He's got another question. Chuky boy daygame live says, in mini relationships, in the mini relationships vlog from Italy, you mentioned you never keep in touch with the girls after you leave the city. Can I ask why that is apart from the obvious? You are nailing them since you are no longer in the same place, so what's the point? I get that. I'm sure you have also mentioned men and women can never be friends. Well, it was a little bit black and white in that video. The cool girls, or I'd say the really hot, fun, feminine girls, I keep in touch with them on facebook very loosely. So, every few weeks, or whenever I want to ping them, I ping them. If I know I'm going back to that place, I'll ping them a little bit more but I don't have long chats, I don't Skype, I don't promise them anything just to keep them on the radar. Sure they might have boyfriends when I go back, they might have disappeared by the time I've gone back but it's nice to go to a city again and I'll message some of the girls like I'm going to New York City now so I mentioned messaged some of the girls and two of them came back to me, girls I've already slept with and I'll meet up with them. But they know this is very casual by the nature of it. I'm on one side of the world there on another. It's always sex when I see them and, one or two days of, of fun and that's nice for them. Guys have to remember as, I talked about in the last podcast that many girls at a certain stage of their life want this. They don't want the kind of lovey dovey hand holding boyfriend. They don't want the provider. That will come later. A girl between the ages of 18 and 23, she is often quite happy with, different guys who she meets, and has sex with and fun times with. So you can make it win win. But I say, to beginners, don't get caught up in massive long game post sex with girls in foreign cities because it's gonna make you needy. And long term relationships, that's just, such a danger trap. Alright. I I don't believe in them. They're they're super needy. They're super invested. They're super intense. Plenty more fish in the sea. Abundance, abundance, abundance. That's what I say in the video. Okay. It sounds harsh but the only cure for your neediness, the only cure for all those nice guy groveling behaviors is abundance. Plate spinning they call it in game. So having more leads, remembering that she's not the one. There are many ones. Okay. And that's for your health because, you don't wanna be that guy waiting for a girl to Facebook message you that you met in some random city four months ago. Alright. Now go over. Says, hey Tom, I've got a question for you. There's a hot girl in my class. Okay. Alarm bells are ringing already and she is already in a relationship with a guy who is not in my class. Please help me if there's any way I can get laid with her. I talk about that very question in street hustle because you've got alarm bells, you've got red flags in that question. So by saying that, she's in your class that suggests you're already in the role of friend. It's one eye to see because you say she's very hot. You want to get with her even though she's with another guy. So this is scarcity, which is leading to needy behaviors. And however cool you are, they creep out and she's already felt it. Once you're in the friend zone, very hard to get back to love her. Okay. I guess the guy she's with, he's probably the school jerk. He's the bad boy. Right? Take this as a learning lesson. Don't think you're gonna get with her. That is, some tough love. Maybe a couple of years down the line when you meet her outside of school, much better to go out to your local shopping center and talk to girls you don't know. There'll be girls that are way hotter. She seems hot relative to the other girls in your class. I know. I remember when you're in a small pond that if you hit the streets or you hit your shopping center or you hit your gym, you'll see hotter girls who are not in relationships. Alright? Or who are easier to get. We say don't shit where you eat and street hustle. F karnes says, Tom, your experience of North Of The UK and relatively deprived areas of The UK where you've traveled to met hot British women but they're not so socially intelligent. Are they different to approach? Yeah. I kind of get that question. You could laugh about Welsh girls, couldn't you? I've degged in Manchester, I've degged in Liverpool, in Chester, in Glasgow, in Edinburgh, degged in Bristol. Now, I've decked them in Essex. I know the kind of women you're talking about. No. It doesn't make any difference to the, hardwired seduction dance, but those girls, a bit like the nightclub disco dance girls, they're looking for fun. Alright? So you don't need to be so sophisticated with your most interesting man in the world storytelling and, ironic breaking of rapports. I would go more physical. I'd go more fun, so more teasing, but it's the same approach. They love the directing. There are hot British women, that you just have to filter through a lot more, roads to nowhere and girls that you just don't like the look of. Sadly, yeah, it comes down to the normal distribution. So, yeah, if you're in Liverpool, there will be hot girls. You could say they're a bit, bit chavvy, some of them, but be a little bit more high energy. Bounce them, you know. Take them straight to classy weatherspoons and then on the date, thank god British girls like Aussie girls, like Canadian girls, like, North American girls, if they're out on the date, they've come out to get laid. So escalate, be more physical, keep the games more playful. But the approach, the daygame model, the dating model, I didn't invent any of this. This is universal hardwired biology that's been going on for millions of years. Opium says, how do you seduce a girl in a relationship? I approach a girl before, some days direct, get the number, we had a nice conversation. She is a 10 for me. Uh-oh. Red flag there. You see a bit like the question from who said about the hot girl in his class, if you already seen her as your dream girl one it is the 10 special snowflake unicorn, things are already fucked. Anyway, he says, now I want to have a date with her. She tells me she has a boyfriend, she wants to meet me in a non sexual way and if I have a problem with that should I tell her? I've written back that I want to meet not as a normal friend, she tells me yeah that's great, I think she doesn't understand me. Tough love again, that this one is fucked. Sadly not fucked by, you. Somebody's fucking her. You've gone in into the friend box because it wasn't clear from the very beginning. Yeah. You can get her back if she's single in a couple of years time, if you meet her out and about and you've become a bit of a badass who doesn't care. You can get girls in relationships but you have to go in as the lover and in a school or a college or a work or a social circle situation, that's really really tough because the nature of warm approaching social circle is it's warm, you're the friend. So on the street if you go up to a girl as a badass, as a lover and she's, having a bit of a tiff with her boyfriend, yeah, you can get her because she knows it's just casual sex but girls have a pussy, what's the old saying, they don't need another one. So I'm not saying, you're a pussy opium, I'm just saying that you have to be direct from the start. The only thing you can try now is to have that meeting with her and tell her. Say, look, I find you very attractive. I can't concentrate, you know. We can't be friends. Give her the when Harry met Sally speech. Men and women cannot be friends if you are sexually attracted to them. It's bullshit. Right? It's white knightery. It's a it's super nice guy. Pretends that you can because if she was on your bed naked and you'd fuck her, that means that you are lying when you say to her you are her friend and she can just feel it and girls know it. They keep guys around in the friend zone because they're useful. I would if I was a hot girl. Guys come over and fix the computer, fix the TV, drink coffee, she can talk to you about her nasty boyfriend. Guys help her with her homework. These guys have volunteered to do all this stuff because they're hiding their dick, they've put themselves in the friend zone and you can hear in my voice, I have sympathy for you, Opium, because you've asked me the question but I don't have sympathy for the average guy who's friend zoning himself because it's all about not hiding your dick, telling a girl what you want which is win win. Alright? Okay. Joe says, do a long game podcast. He's having boring WhatsApp conversations with girls abroad. He doesn't know how to move it sexually. Things like sex chats and getting naked. Okay, Joe. It's possible. Yeah. I could do a long game podcast. I talk about it in Torero travels. I talk about it in Street Hustle. There's not much to long game really except having a bit of fun with it because you can't be non needy. You can't be needy. You can't be waiting, to meet these girls again as your only leads. Long game is just a bit of fun when you've got short game going on in your vicinity. So, yeah, it starts off as social, just chitchat, then you rack it up, the same kind of questions that you would use on a date to spike things up. Your photo pings go from funny to flirty to sexual calibrated to what she's giving you back, you are going through the tick list to see if you're going to go back to her city, know, is she inviting you to stay with her, has she committed to a date, has she already, sent you some sexy pictures, You once you know that you're good to go, only then would you go back to a foreign city. Otherwise, it's way too much investment. You can already see it's one eye to see needy. So don't focus on long game. Long game puts you into the boyfriend box anyway often because it's, like a long distance relationship. Focus on the short game going on around you and just treat long game as a bit of fun. But, if you want to know more, check out Torero Travels where I talk about long game and street hustle. Mohammed says, how do you balance daygame and other life aspects? Well, we've answered that question. But just to say, when you're learning daygame, there isn't a balance. It's a bit utopian. Tim Ferriss liked to say, life is all about balance. Because if you wanna be really good at something, whether that's music, filmmaking, dancing, punching, or chatting up girls during the day, you've got to be obsessive. Right? You can be mediocre if you just go out and try and balance everything and do it occasionally, but if you want to be really good, all the great daygamers are obsessive. We dedicated, one or two years at least to learning this skill set and then you can try like I'm doing now of achieving balance. But you've got to choose one. Alright. Daygaming in a college town, I've got a podcast on that. So just daygaming in a smaller town, you end up seeing the same girls a lot. Yep. So, under the radar, not jumping in front, being clever, social circle, starting clubs, doing a little bit of warm approaching. I talk about that in the small town daygame podcast. Silver has a really long question. Number one, are you oh, it's money. Are you not afraid with all the girls that gave you LMR, they can give you problems when you have fucked them? They say you tried to rape them. No. Because LMR is is a misnomer which obviously the media picks up on, only the simplistic last minute resistance, the word resistance. It's token. It's part of the dance. It's like kiss chase in the playground, you know. You have to chase her and then, you win and you kiss her. It's just how it is and obviously if a girl's saying no, she's pushing you off, it's how she's saying it, it's when she's saying it, you need to be socially socially calibrated enough to know when no means no and how she's saying it and you're giving her an opportunity to leave, you're obviously not doing anything against her will, there's a huge difference. And any guy who's been in seduction for even a short time and had experiences on dates and in the bedroom will be able to tell you the difference. I'm not afraid, no, because it's part of the dance. You should read Sperm Wars which goes into this and the Evolution of Desire which goes into why girls give token last minute resistance and how it actually helps with delay. And it's why girls have these fantasies about being dominated etcetera etcetera 50 shades of grey. Second question. This is the big one. Okay. In the PUA community, in the beginning everything was direct. Now a lot of people follow the London daygame model, they're doing direct. Some companies like, Justin Wayne, I think you're talking about, say go indirect and then do the romantic connection blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. He's basically saying which method works and that is a question in street hustle because guys are bamboozled by the internet and all these different dating coaches. They seem to be saying completely different things. In street hustle, go through how there's only one model, Right? It's universal. Most animals do it. All mammals do it. And all dating coaches are just saying variations on the same theme. Alright? So really practically you have to choose one. You can't keep flitting between them. And I say to students and I say to guys that email me about the validity of the London daygame model, I say don't trust me. Don't trust any pickup artist. Don't trust any biologist. Go and test them. So say, okay, I think indirect is the best way to go. I'm gonna do it for six months and see what happens or at least do it for a week. And then the next week say, actually I think super direct might be the way forward. I'm gonna do a week of super direct approaching. Alright? You might even say, fuck this cold approach stuff, it doesn't work. I'm gonna do a month of social circle and see the quality of the girls, how many times I get laid, how many dates I go on, etcetera etcetera. Spreadsheet it and then come back and tell me but endlessly debating on the internet about is this guy right, is this guy right, is this guy right, it's mental masturbation, alright. Go out and test it. Cristiano, he says, hi, you seem not to be getting tired of game. Many of us starting daygame, many of us start daygame to get the hot skills in the city, the great buzz it gives you when you talk to a tall blonde nine, but after a few approaches you realize that you can't get them. Yes, a conversation but you see no attraction. The conversation is polite and she feels flattered but is seeing someone. Okay, realization is my SMV is not up there for the eight plus girls. Should I focus on girls that are cute to get more dates and sex? Should I gradually be talking to hot girls or is this just another weasel? You've answered your own question yet. It's about belief and reference points. So in the beginning, sure talk to the quote unquote nine or 10 but if you've come from a place where you've been sleeping with fives, be happy with the six, alright? Sixes and sevens get your confidence up. It's all about your belief system. If you think you are, you are. Okay? In the beginning, she's gonna see that you don't really believe it. Okay? So I say, in street hustle, really game is just teaching you how to behave around a nine or 10 like you already behave around a four or a five. Okay. That's all game really is. And if you've spoken to enough hot girls, I'd advise going to a place where there's loads of hot girls to get desensitized. So to a hot night club if you're a night gamer or to, your dream country, maybe that's Scandinavia, maybe that's Moscow for me in Russia. There's loads of my quote unquote nines. So after a week of daygaming these girls, you calm down, you get better responses, you become non needy because you've got four phone numbers of top tier girls in your eyes, yeah. So, don't run before you can walk but remember it is a limiting belief. His second part to the question says, he struggles with English girls, harshest blowouts, most awkward conversations, flakiest numbers. I think they're lovely, just so hopeless in handling a direct compliment. I'd half agree with you that in my grass is always greener YouTube video, I say it's always hard, in our minds to daygame local girls. That's a limiting belief that German guys have about German girls, Swiss guys have about Swiss girls, English men have about English girls. It's untrue that they can't handle a direct compliment. I'd say they can handle it way better than an Asian girl or even a middle European girl. English girls love it when you're direct, okay, because they're often more direct than feminine guys these days. So that's not true but yeah, I understand about your quibbles. The harshest blowouts are because they can't be bullshitted. Right? They see your value, they pick up on your your place, your your image, your background. They know from the very moment you stop them, from the very moment they see you, they can put you in a box. So things need to be tighter. Alright? And you can't rely on the broken English and talking about where she's from. You've got to be on. So that's why I like New York City because the kills, keep me on my toes. The banter is really tight. Okay? Hopefully, that turns into her being nice and tight. Yeah. In street hustle again, I talk about that limiting belief of, English girls or local girls and the grass is always greener. Right. Wizzing on. How am I doing? Bloody hell. We're already on half an hour. I'm gonna keep going. I'll just speed up. Alex says, what was the longest time you didn't cold approach for different issues like money or career? I've cold approach without a massive break since I started daygaming, but I've taken one or two months off usually in the winter times 2012, 2013. I've taken periods of time off when I've been seeing a girl for longer but I'm always keeping the flirting up, I'm always keeping the banter up, I'm always teaching students, I'm always thinking about daygame in some form so it's different for me because this is my job but yeah take a bit of time out if you're feeling the burnout but like I said before even if you've got a girlfriend or even a wife you need to keep flirting, you need to have other options, you need to keep that muscle. Alright? Because, if she leaves for any reason, the shit hits the fan and you're back to square one. Mister Samiosis says about STDs, and this is good because I think three other guys have emailed me about STDs, for this podcast so I'm going to answer it briefly now and then the next podcast, podcast 62, I'll just dedicate to STDs. But the short answer is it's overhyped. Guys worry too much. Society has, spun this story to shame casual sex. Obviously religious groups love this tool of using STDs for fear mongering but the chance of you getting a serious STD is much lower than you being hit by a car or having a car accident or having heart disease or diabetes. Yes, I've had chlamydia and a urinary tract infection. Both of them easily treated. Common sense, you wear a condom. No, don't always do that. I haven't always done that but I'm preaching common sense advice which I'm listening to myself more and more for myself. Wear a condom if you don't know her, if it's not, a longer term thing. Get checked, that's the main one. I get checked every couple of months at least. And, the big ones that you're probably worried about, well HIV, no, not for, heterosexual sex that you're having right now unless you're doing some really dodgy heart of darkness, unprotected African sex or injecting drugs. So you can look up the stats for heterosexual HIV. You're probably worried about herpes. And do know the truth of it? You're probably already a carrier. Most actively sexual people are carriers of the dormant form of the virus. There's different forms of it and you'll never see any symptoms and, it will never be a problem in your life. Look into that as well but I'll talk about STDs in the next podcast. Guys are worrying about it so much and it's stopping them from going out there and having lots of sex but in all my years of doing it, I've had a handful of very small things, happen that are treatable. You go and get checked, you use protection. And I'll be open with a girl and say, listen, you know, are you on contraception? Have you been tested? And sure, you shouldn't trust and listen to her but if you're dating her, even in an open way, you can talk about these things, you can find out these things, but we'll come on to that because guys are really paranoid about it. Boris says, do you plan to come to Bosnia? I love this one and then he goes, if you do, I would like to buy you a bear. And then he, self corrected underneath. He went, I meant beer. Well, I'd like you to buy me a bear. That would be nice. I'd like to wrestle a bear as I dreamt about doing Kazakhstan. But, yes, I'm gonna come to Sarajevo in the autumn. I'll be in Bosnia, so I'll get in contact with you, Boris. Cheers, mate. Paquito says, how how many girls did you fuck this year, and which nationalities? Well, if you watch, Stealth Seduction coming out this autumn, you will see, in technicolor. He says, is the attraction mainly verbal or nonverbal? In the beginning, if you're a daygame student, it's verbal, right? And as you get better, it's secret society nonverbal. How do you reprogram your brain, he says, to have success? You can't. Action is, action is eloquent as Shakespeare said, alright? So you go out, you, get reference experiences from the real world and that reprograms your brain. That's why I don't believe in life coaching, sitting at home, chanting into the mirror. You're trying to put the cart before the horse. Action comes first. Positive reference experiences, you get different beliefs about every part of yourself. Lanem says, what do you do when a girl is talking on the phone? Should you follow the girl and wait for her or say something like, I know this is random but I want to tell you one thing. If you were filming a prank YouTube video then you would stop her but, because there's so many other girls out there that are not on the phone that are just as cute as her, I wait it's more socially calibrated, unless I can see that she's not talking that it's just, it's just ringing You might say, call them back, call them back. I just have to woah woah woah, call them back. It requires dominance. Alright? It require it requires a smirk. But it's a bit prankish, it's a bit uncalibrated, so I was waiting. The dude says, how much daily should you go out? Well, you don't need to go out daily. I've said many times on all my videos, you go out three to five times a week, three times a week, 10 approaches each session, that's 30. That's enough really. If you're hardcore, you'd go out one more day on the weekend and do 20 approaches, so that's 50 approaches. When you go out each time, it should take you no more than two hours. Right? You shouldn't be walking around like a homeless bum for eight hours. No. Two hours, 10 approaches, be militant. Jot and Roll says, should you ever tell a girl you want to kiss her on a date? No. No, you shouldn't. You should just escalate smoothly. Neo says, I'll paraphrase it. He's basically saying daygame you can get okay girls but, it's impossible he thinks to get the high quality ones. No no no no I wouldn't be doing it if that was the case. It is true that in the beginning like that other guy asked, you have this limiting belief in a ceiling because you're not quite there with your value you're not calibrated enough She sees through your pickup persona so you're gonna be getting the sixes and the sevens but after you've done it for a while, and you're going to places where there are your dream girls, of course you can get eights and nines. Do tens exist? I would say no, they're mythical unicorns. Alright? I say in street hustle, a 10 is just a girl you think you can't get. And it just changes as you get older and the more girls you bang. That nine, your dream girl that you banged a couple of years ago, you look back and you think, no, she was an eight. Right? I've seen hotter girls this year in, wherever. He's talking about do you need to do the whole money thing? No. No. No. No. No. No. Not until you're 45. Alright? Not until you've put on a bit of weight and not until you've got no more options. Use your charm, use your confidence, use your charisma, use your swagger and it's all about belief. Sure, in in a small town in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, there might not be your 10. So when you see one every year, you're gonna be super needy, super grovelly, super desperate, super one eye to see. But change cities, go to London, so it's about pushing the envelope. Mister Bennie Faction says, how do you deal with the boyfriends threatening you? That I've answered that in Street Hustle. Yeah, that's about cock blocking. I won't go into that now. That's in Street Hustle. Vegard. How do you gain princess tens? Uh-oh. Red flags. How to gain princess tens that you kind of know but are not close friends with? I've answered that already in this podcast, alright. Stay away from social circle, one eye to see, she's my 10. Beliefs go out. And as flippant as it sounds, speak to girls you don't know. It's far easier. Okay. And then come back to your social circle but once you're in the friend box, it's really hard at college, at school, at work to get out of. Plenty more fish in the sea. R g l m. He's got loads of questions about sex, so we'll put them into the next podcast. Thompson Lee says how to feel good about ourselves even in state, even in the present situation it doesn't allow you to live freely I. E. Having lots of money. It's a choice, optimism is a choice. I am a rational optimist. Okay? It's your choice every day. Do you focus on the things that you're grateful for, the things that you want to do, do you focus on family and friends and fitness and fun and fanny, there's all the f's or do you focus on moaning, on false narratives in the news that are made as clickbait to get you down? Do you focus on whining and thinking what's bad in your life? Do you focus on unhealthy food and not moving and lack of sunlight and being in isolation and reading dark things and watching dark things, that's a choice. As soon as you recognize that that's the best thing about cognitive behavioral therapy. It's your choice. I say in many of my videos, you are in control of the weather in your own head. Tom you should listen to my podcast on stress and anxiety. Okay? Gina asks how to hook a woman in set. Well, come on, Gina. Don't be lazy. That's all on YouTube. Watch my beginner daygame video. Alright? To get to the hook, you need to do stacking and vibing which is attraction, attraction. Breaking Breaking rapport. Rapport. From From Twitter, Twitter, Simi Simi says, says, in which country are girls easy to meet and seduce, Serbia, Brazil, Russia or Germany? And there's red flags in that question again. It's looking for pussy paradise, a place where the rules of the sexual marketplace don't apply. Watch my grass is always greener video. If you are not good at gaming your own place, your own city, then it's not going to work. Alright? Stop looking for shortcuts and loopholes. Value is value, masculinity is masculinity. The countries you listed, they're all pretty tough. Serbia, Men are Alpha, so you need to man up. Brazil, you're gonna get a lot of shit tests from the girls. You've got that volcanic thing which you're gonna get in Argentina and Colombia. Russia, I'm writing my next book called Cold Calling on Russia and former Soviet Union daygame. Gotta get through the princess icy first minute. Germany, I'd probably say Germany if you're talking about where are they easiest to chat to. German girls because German guys have completely lost the plot in terms of stepping up and telling girls what they want. Then yeah, you just go up to German girls. Cologne's a good city. Munich is a really good city. Berlin, there's too many, shorthaired hipsters really and that's the girls, yeah, as well as the guys. I'd go to Cologne, I'd go to Dusseldorf but I'd spend a lot of time in Munich and the girls were very open open in many ways. Jimmy says, when stealth seduction dropping. Cheers, Jimmy. That's my daygame infield video product and that's gonna be released in early autumn. Robert says, oh these are questions by email. Robert says, do you have a ritual before you approach the first time? No, I just say first one is the worst one and I jump in as quickly as possible. The longer you leave it, the worse it gets. So as soon as I leave my house, just talk to anybody as quickly as you can. How do you get rid of your big ego? I've got a video on that. Don't. Right? Big ego is great, you just need to channel it into positivity but it's fantastic for being a cocky street seducer. Do you have any contact with other coaches from the old daygame days? Yes I do. I see them, I travel with some of them for business reasons, for other reasons with some of them I don't but that is a question for another time as well. I'm gonna do a podcast on compadres traveling with people forming a band of brothers so that's a good question. Day Daygame motivation, he says he wants a podcast on that. Alright, maybe but in every podcast I hope I give you the message like the things you've listed, yeah? He's saying life is short, other side of fear is freedom, grab life by the horns, you know all these things. So rather than listening to a podcast on it, I'd love you to go and apply just one of those things. Yeah? So maybe today you say, fuck it, the other side of fear is freedom and you say like I said in that Rami video from, Colombia, you say fuck it and you go and do some paragliding or you go and talk to the girl in Starbucks. That'll give you a bigger buzz than any podcast will, alright? Character traits for a damaged PUA guy, he asks. Read my article that I wrote, last week or the week before on my blog called, Heart of Darkness I think that's what it was called or Dark Heroes I can't even remember what it was called but it's about the dark side of game and dark triad and I list the character traits of a damaged guy from game. I'm gonna whiz on to Benedict. Think this is the last question. Yes. In the bedroom, do you need to do fancy positions or just stick to the basics like missionary and doggy to make her come? Well, I've got a podcast on sex and next week, it's gonna be on STDs. You don't need to be your pornographic just to, please her. The idea remember is that, sex is is fifty fifty. But if you want to keep her around, like I said last week with Black Dragon, yeah, you kind of got to give her great sex. So don't just do lights off vanilla missionary position but move her around. You should be enjoying this as well, yeah? On the floor against the wall, go in the bathroom, random fast sex in the kitchen. Many girls, as Black Dragon said last week, can't come from you being inside this. You gotta use your fingers, use your tongue, watch porn together. Just make it exciting and I promise you, she will stick around and it'll be far more fun for you as well. Right? You can live out all those porn fantasies without becoming the pizza delivery boy. That was forty five minutes, so not bad. I don't really know how well this format works when I'm whizzing through questions but just to say once again there are a 100 common daygame questions in street hustle. Please don't be lazy, and send me questions about basics because they they've all been covered in my free YouTube and iTunes content so do a bit of searching but I've got some themes for this from this so there's areas that I'm gonna go back to and like I said next week we've already got a theme. I'll come back to some of the other ones that I thought were good but that's it. I have got a jump in the shower, pack my bags, go to the airport and the next podcast may be from New York City but by the time I get back I think I'll be in London. So crazy week, forgive a little silence on YouTube if there is one and I'll speak to you next week. Ta da.