---
title: Episode 66 Harems
episode_number: 66
era: early
source_file: Episode 66 Harems.mp3
audio_size_mb: 48.6
duration_sec: 1593.5
duration_min: 26.6
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.997
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:02:43Z---

# Episode 66 Harems

**Speaker 0:** Podcast 66 with Thomas Torero, haremes. That's the topic of today, multiple women fuck buddies, girls you can call up and have casual sex with. First of all, thank you to all the guys that emailed me about taking a spot for that free filming, free coaching project in early July. I've chosen two guys and I've emailed them so that's done. The doors are closed on that one but cheers for many many many guys who email me. Shows that there's a need for something like that in the future so that is what I'll do. I'm back in Central Europe, I'm in Poland at the moment after hot and sticky Moldova, it was 35 degrees sometimes 36 in Moldova it was the hottest daygame I've ever done and then inside the apartment we had it on about fifteen, sixteen, 17 degrees air conditioning, and then I got back to Poland and it was hot and sticky, very humid, then we had thunderstorms, lashing rain and now it's bloody cold so I'm a little bit croaky, little bit snuffly. The human body in these temperature changes and travelling, it's all part of the fun. Alright, the topic of today like I said, having multiple gills and it's not something I've done keeping lots of gills around since about 12/2013 when I was really hitting it hard in the beginning in London and I was based in London obviously, I could see the girls that I liked, could see the hottest girls, the funnest girls, the wildest girls, I could see them again, not to make them my girlfriend but I could see them once a week, some of them maybe twice a week and keep them around until they fell off the wagon, until they disappeared, they went back to their country, they got a boyfriend, they got annoyed with the whole thing etc. So that was the first time I did it and since then I was travelling travelling travelling so that's not easy to do when you're travelling because by the time you get back to that city she's already buggered off with another guy but this year I had that an early period initial period of hitting it really hard in Central Europe and yeah I got lots of lots of leads lots of lays and I've kept some of them around so every time I come back to Central Europe, which is where I'm based this year, there's girls that I can call up, there's girls that I can see, there's girls that are up for casual sex and they know I'm not the boyfriend, they know I travel, some of them kind of know what I do, they certainly know that I have other girls and they're okay with it. So it's a good time to talk about harem's, the joys of harem's and the downside to harem's having this rotation, having this stable spinning multiple plates. You might think, well this sounds like polygamy, a bit like the Mormons, you know, multiple wives or maybe an Islam having up to four wives. Relationships in that she can also bug her off and have, hopefully she does have lovers. She might even have a a boyfriend, some kind of provider in the background, but she's happy to come, come over and come. We'll come on to the importance of, making her come in a bit. So that old quote sums it up quite nicely. Women would rather share an alpha male than be lumbered with just one beta male. That sounds a bit shocking. It sounds a bit puzzling, but if you know the biology of dating and mating, you've read sperm wars, you've read the evolution of desire, you've read street hustle. It's all in there. You'll understand women's dual mating strategy and hypergamy and what men are after and what women are after and whether monogamy and polygamy exists. I've spoken and written about that at length. So let's just say you understand the biology behind it and you get what I mean when I say one is too close to none. So in terms of, you having multiple sources of sex, multiple sources of affection even more importantly, listen to my podcast, affection addiction, you'll understand that it's a good thing. It's it's very healthy for a man to have multiple sources of sex and affection. You have abundance, quite simply your spinning plates and automatically all those niggly needy behaviors disappear. You're non needy. Yeah? Because essentially, if you think about it in terms of sexual economics, you're not inflating the value of pussy. You're not artificially, I would say, inflating the value of pussy because you've got more around. You've got the ability to walk away which is the most powerful thing in any relationship dynamic between two human beings. The one, who cares less holds the frame. The one who cares less, the one who has the ability to walk has all the power. So if both of you can walk, I. E. You're her fuck buddy and she's your fuck buddy, you're both non needy so it's nice for a time and then possibly nice again in the future. We'll come on to that. Yeah. You've got jealousy, you might be feeling a little bit of jealousy but the more guilt you have the more you do this that will go down or rather you can cope with it. Now she might be feeling jealousy because she knows you're a player, she sense that this is your lifestyle, she can just feel that you've got other girls on the go. But again, counterintuitive game, truth. Jealousy increases attraction. You know that from preselection, maybe you read Mystery Method, you've seen it out and about, maybe you've had a girlfriend and you've flirted with other girls, you've flirted with the waitress and what do you know, your girlfriend likes you more. Maybe she even slaps you, has a little argument with you and you have amazing sex. You have jealousy is a very very powerful thing. So it applies to the girl, not just to you. And ultimately, it's fun. Yeah. Having a harem, having lots of girls for a while, it's fun. You don't get bored. And, if you've read my black sheep post, you'll know that life is about being happy, life is about being free and, no need to be chained down, no need to be bored. People forget that, they are choosing, their future. So there they are some of the positives, if you're not promising monogamy to the girl, that's very important, that's the first thing to say about how to establish this. You're not promising anything, so you're not playing the boyfriend, you're not, future projecting, Okay? You're not letting her sleep over. You're not initiating texting every day. You're not calling her. You're not doing public displays of affection, PDAs. Biology. You're not communicating every day, you're not doing lovey dovey stuff, you're not showering her with gifts. You're not introducing her to many of your friends, neither is she. You're certainly not introducing her to your family. You're keeping it discreet. So much of, the secret society sexual economics is about being discreet. Girls are happy to do this with you. Girls are happy to have lovers, girls are happy to have fuck buddies, certainly at that stage in their, lives between late teens and early twenties when they're looking for alpha adventures that comes again into their early thirties but yeah you can tap into that people say oh only sluts do this or only low IQ girls do this not at all not at all right now with my little quote unquote harin that I've got going on, I've got a Ukrainian student, a university student, she's doing her masters. I've got an 18 year old Polish girl who goes to a posh academy. I've got a different Polish girl. Yeah. She's a bit of a party girl, that one. I've got a girl in her early twenties. She's Belorussian, and she works in law. The brightest one I've got in London is that English doctor that I seduced from Topshop and I've spoken about before. Now she's married but her husband knows about the openness of the marriage. He goes off and does things. She goes off obviously and does things. It's a bit like the French lover. Yep. So, she's extremely educated. She's a doctor but she's also one of the wildest in bed. Yep. Good girls are just bad girls who haven't been caught. So drop that purity fantasy, drop that angelic thing and, under the bonnet girls are the same. I've said that many times. Another girl that I I've seen, often is a girl that I met in Colombia. She travels, I travel and whenever we are in the same destination, we meet up. She's into open things and whenever I'm in the Czech Republic, I see a waitress. She's a university student, she's also a waitress and she's not into boyfriends either. She's going through that stage where she likes to be free and single. And clients say, well, how would you do it? The million dollar question, how do you do it? I've already given some of the ground rules about you know not sleeping over, seeing her more than once a week etc etc etc but you've got to be aware that this is not forever okay it's transient So this is a, you could say a little bit metaphorical of life. Once you understand that it's transient, can kind of relax. Whereas if you cling on and try to stop things slipping away and you rage too much against the dying of the light as Dylan as Dylan Thomas would say, it gets frustrating and then you get disappointed when something leaves or somebody dies or you have a bad day. Whereas if you just understand by definition are open. Openness and transience go together. Okay? So yes, you do have to battle the jealousy, because you might feel, a little bit jealous when you understand that some of these girls are sleeping with other guys. Again, you shouldn't be rubbing her nose in it and she shouldn't be rubbing your nose in it. It's just implied. Now these girls disappear, like I said, they will get frustrated with you even though you've given them the talk and you've been transparent after a while, after a few months they will leave. If they hit that 23, 24, 25, 26 age, they're thinking about more of the nice guy, more of the provider, they're thinking about babies so they'll go off and they'll find a stable boyfriend but often six months, one year, two years, they will be back and you can, put them back on your rotation, you can have sex with them again. That's very common. Yet you might need to keep giving them the talk, might need to keep laying down the boundaries. So first it's implicit, she knows that you are a player, you're giving off that vibe, but then after a while she might ask to sleep over, she might leave something in your apartment, she might be texting you a lot and you just feel like she's getting clingy, you just feel like she's starting to cut a few balls, then is the time to have the quote unquote talk, the talk, it's called in the pickup community. You say, listen, Sarah, I just wanna have a quick chat to you. You're a very cool girl. You're very pretty. You're very fun. A little bit weird, but I love you. And listen, you know that I travel, you know that I'm an adventurer, you know that I came out of a relationship a few months ago, I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now, maybe in the future, who knows, but I love seeing you once a week, I think you're really cool and I just wanted to know what you think about this so that's a good friend, you put it back in her court. Most girls say yeah yeah yeah that sounds fine and then again they might just fall off, might just disappear, they might get annoyed again by this, player thing and vanish, like I said hook up with somebody else else and you just have to accept that. So just like a pimp would do, you go out and you get another girl, you add them to the rotation, you add them to the stable. Now over attachment can obviously go the other way as well and you might start feeling clingy to one girl even though you've got many other girls you have to keep an eye on that, you have to be careful that you're not letting her sleep over doing lovey dovey things with her, texting her all the time because that can suddenly make you seem neither you lose the frame, she vanishes or she accepts it, you become girlfriend boyfriend without you really wanting to and you slip into, unwanted monogamy, which happens to the best of us. So you have to be aware of that as well. There's also, logistics. There's also practicalities. Now harem sounds great but the upkeep of a harem is tricky because you have to ping them, you have to see them once a week if you're in that city perhaps to keep them definitely regular so if you've got three or four girls and you're seeing them once a week that's three or four nights a week you're having good long sex, which is a depletion on the body, it's energy sapping and yet that takes away your drive to do other things. It's like a lion being given free food, you no longer have to go out and hunt so your day game desire obviously goes down perhaps you slide into old ways and your day game ability goes down that's the downside of a hurry massively certainly what I'm feeling at the moment I'm comfortable with these girls some of them are exactly my type and, very hot and, you know, they're in their late teens. What more could I ask for? And some guys might say, well, you're stupid, you're mad, you're crazy to give them away, know. I would marry them up. She's exactly marriage material, but it's going against my lifestyle, it's going against the black sheep thing. I know that this is not what makes me happy but through laziness, like yesterday, one just came over and that was the whole afternoon and evening gone, and today I think I'm due to see a girl, she she flaked actually just at the beginning of this podcast, what a bitch, but tomorrow so I'm seeing another one of those girls tomorrow so I'm aware already like come on Tom, come on Tom, time for daygame, time for daygame or at least time for work you know, time for travel. Don't, let yourself become complacent. So a lot of the harem thing is about ego really, if you've never done it before your ego says yeah it would be great to have all these bitches and I'm gonna be a pimp, a motherfucking p I m p, everybody's gonna respect me, it's gonna be amazing, I don't need to do any work. That's the ego. So once you've done it a few times you get over it, you'll realize that that it's not what it says on the tin so sometimes I pity pimps the work they have to do to get you know very mediocre girls, those girls are damaged goods yeah bless them and the pimps are really having to keep them in control there's a lot of drama there based on the nature of the girls, and there's money involved because obviously this is the girl's job and the guy's source of income. What a bloody nightmare. No rest, no peace. And I'm all about freedom and happiness which is, you know, doing your own thing and then being able to go out and daygame and get a girl. So you've to think what you're doing it for. There are perks. Like I said, it's fun, you can have sex on tap and if you're lucky, three times in my life I've been lucky, where one of the girls in your little harem is drum roll bisexual. You just happen to find out usually after you've slept with her two or three times she tells you about her history with other girls or she likes other girls or she's just getting into it, she wants to try it. I had a Romanian bisexual girl. I had a Russian, very cute Russian bisexual girl in Poland. I had a French bisexual girl in London and they either introduce you to their friends, you introduce them to each other and that's the easiest way to have threesomes, foursomes, moorsomes. I'll do a podcast on that in the future but the crazy stuff I've had in my life has been with those girls where, that's much easier than going out and just trying to randomly find two bisexual sisters, you know, every guy's porn dream or going to a club and pulling two girls separately from cold approach, introducing them together and having a threesome. Much easier to already have one girl who you sleep with a lot and then another girl who you sleep with a lot and you just introduce them to each other. We'll talk about that. Let's talk about the sex because to keep these girls around you have to give them good or I would say great sex, right? The sex can't be two minutes, you can't come quickly. The rule is really that she's got to orgasm. I think we mentioned that on the Black Dragon podcast. And maybe she can't come with you inside her. So yeah, my trick is to take her hand and put it on her own pussy and I say, know, show me. It's turning me on. Do it. And she masturbates in front of you. You can do whatever you want. But try and delay coming because the longer the better really and it's not just about, being, like a porn star in bed, it's it's about being risky, it's about being dangerous. So do situations that she fantasizes about outside, do it in random places. Maybe she likes to be dominant. She's got that 50 shades of grey thing she wants, the older guy. So fulfill these fantasies, fulfill your fantasies too. But if she's coming over and she's coming, then she's gonna come back for more. That's a lot of coming. Yeah? And you know that you're in lover mode, you know that you're in this kind of pimp hurry mode because the sex would be dirty, the sex would be sweaty, the sex would be raw, the sex would be animalistic. Yep, she won't ask you to use condoms. Again shocking for some guys, but when girls sleep with alpha guys, the biology is obvious why they wouldn't ask you to sleep with a condom. It's quite shocking for sensible guys. It's quite shocking for the girls themselves. They just want to be fucked by alpha guys to get the DNA. Some girls will pull the condom off. Off. Now I've got a podcast on STDs and you know, you're in charge of your own safety there, but I'm just saying that if it's in lover mode, if it's in hurry mode, she'll let you do crazy things. She should be giving you lots and lots of blowjobs because, you're not her boyfriend, you're not her husband, it's not boring, it's exciting sex, yeah? You can have anal sex, you can, come wherever you want to come on her. She's fulfilling all these fantasies, that's the that's the role of a fuck buddy. If she's not and she's stopping doing these things, she did them in the past but now she's stopping, it's suggesting you're getting into monogamy, things are sliding into normality, routine, you're saying okay Wednesday night is sex night with Anna and Anna comes over and you do missionary sex for two minutes, know, they're suggesting couply sex, vanilla sex, so, think about it, if the girls let me do all that stuff then she sees you as the alpha male, she sees you as the lover. Watch out for when she comes over too because it should be, mostly in the middle of her cycle, the middle of her month when she's, ovulating and she's feeling really horny, she should definitely be texting you to come over, that's another great sign that, she sees you as the daddy. She's the you're the one she comes to not another guy or perhaps not even her boyfriend or her husband but in the middle of that month and you can track this it's quite wise to track this with some of your girls you'll notice that she's extra horny and she's coming over for more random sex, yeah? Anyway, to wrap up, not with a condom, but let's wrap up this podcast, remember that, you should try it, you should do it, but it's perhaps not what you dream, it's not what you, envisage, it's a lot of work. So think about if your day game is going to suffer, remember that you have to be discreet, don't rub their noses in it, remember to hold the frame, remember not to promise things and remember to watch out not just for her getting jealous, which is a good thing, but for you slipping into, oneitis and neediness because the whole point of a harem, the message of this podcast is that it's plate spinning. It gives you options and you suddenly realize what it's like to be hopefully for a while completely non needy because if one girl disappears, you've still got three left or you can go out and get another one. You're having so much sex, you're having multiple sources of affection that you're not craving any one girl. You've got the ability to walk away or you can next these girls you know, if you have a bit of an argument, one storms out, you're non reactive, you're not crying and for once in your life you can sit there and think now I know what it feels like to have abundance, now what I know, now I know what it feels like to be non needy and you will see how attractive that is to females because remember that women are going with lovers because what they get from the lover is the non neediness. That's why a woman will often sleep with a married guy, she knows he's married, lots of women look for married guys because they know that that guy has the affection from his wife and he has the kids and he has the car so all she's gonna get is the very wild lover sex and she likes that feeling of jealousy this is one of the sick ironies of game she likes the drama as I always say that's what keeps her attract attracted it's chick crack. It's waving the ball of wool in front of the cat. Yeah. If you just give the cat the ball of wool, it doesn't play with it whereas if you start pulling it around the apartment, the cat goes crazy. Alright. To finish, to finish, I wanted to read, here it is, I wanted to read an email from a chap called Joseph, a guy that I taught a while back and he's been having some good progress in Central Europe where he lives and he keeps emailing me with updates, with lays, with near misses, he's motivated and I love getting emails like this because it it reminds me that this skill set is a learnable thing and there are guys out there hitting the streets. The rubber is meeting the road and they're getting results. So I thought I'd read you, one of his latest ones. He says, dear Tom, please make yourself some good English tea and sit back as you read this. One of the craziest evenings of my life. And you can see the, the light bulb moments going off, you know, you can see all these reference experiences he's getting. So let's dive into the email. He says, I invited a girl I met the previous day after instant dating her for traditional Czech beers since she was visiting for only three days. She was born in Australia with an Asian background, cute Asian body with a sexy Australian accent. I sensed our interaction might have slipped a bit to comfort quicksand during our instant date, so I used the verbal and physical escalation ladder from street hustle that worked wonders. Soon enough we were cuddling next to each other on the bar's sofa talking about sex and spontaneous adventures. Since I sensed it was on, I said, let's go back to mine for one more drink so you can watch me play the piano. She said she knew what would happen and that she would like it but that she has a boyfriend and would feel guilty, in her conscience. I simply said, it's okay, I understand, I wouldn't want to do anything you don't want to do, but she declined so I agreed to walk her to her hostel which was a ten minute walk away. When we arrived I said I needed to use the bathroom so she said okay come in. She waited for me in the corridor and when I came out I said show me your room, I want to see how you live. She happily showed me but quietly motioned, for me to leave right after. Since I remember that this girl told me she likes adventures and taking risks on the date, I took her hand and said, come on, I want to show you something, putting her into a bathroom. She giggled and asked what it was, and she gave me the big tiger eyes, I said, that orange wall behind you, it's so nice. She said, we shouldn't be doing this. So I picked her up, spinned around and sat her on the heater changing her mood rather than her mind, attempting a make out once again. She still wasn't up for it so with a smirk I said, it's okay, I understand, let's go for a walk. She happily agreed and we went to the old town, 1AM in the morning. I tried to kiss her again and she said wow, damn, I love your persistence and confidence. I really feel like a girl when I'm with you. I walked her back to the hostel again and said I have to use the bathroom. She let me in. We went upstairs where I noticed a mini lounge that had a bed with no blankets. After using the toilet, this time for real, I said I wanted to crash for a while because of my tired legs. She came right next to me on the bed and we cuddled, talking about sex preferences. Now the mood was really seductive and we had to whisper so I said I wanted to lie in her bed and see if it's more comfortable than mine. She smiled and said, now if that happens I want to spend the night with you and I'd feel too guilty in the morning. I kissed a good night, left the hostel with a smile on my face when I realized how many times I'd left my comfort zone that night. It's like when Tiger Woods doesn't receive a first place trophy but knows it was a very successful tournament nevertheless and that was from Joseph. So brilliant learning points about pushing it, being calibrated to opportunities, taking things pulling the trigger, taking things from social to sexual, bloody bloody good and one of those experiences is worth 10 just dates with chatting, maybe a 100 dates that are social. One of those experiences you could say is worth more than five yes girls who just come over and you have sex with them because there's so many micro things you learn, little signals, what she's saying, moments, windows of opportunity, how to push it, how to be plausible, how to be playful, how to fractionate away so you're not seeming too on. I had a very similar kind of dramatic story which I've written up on my blog, it's called a park princess, it was a lay I got in Moldova, with nightmare scenarios going on and awful logistics and the clock was counting down to a no lay but at the eleventh hour just before flying home, it happened but it was a lot a lot of what Joseph was talking about then. Anyway podcast 66 done. The next one next week is gonna be from London. Speak to you then. Keep grabbing life by the horns. Ta da.