---
title: Episode 7 Man Power
episode_number: 7
era: early
source_file: Episode 7 Man Power.mp3
audio_size_mb: 56.7
duration_sec: 1857.4
duration_min: 31.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:06:31Z---

# Episode 7 Man Power

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero, podcast number seven. Gosh. They are flying by. And the topic of today's podcast is power, masculine power largely, but we'll touch upon feminine power, feminine energy. Before that, just a quick reminder that my seminal product, the Badass Buddha, it's an online digital video training product, six hours of all the new good juicy stuff. That's back up. That's available from the website. Click below. It was taken down by the original provider because somebody complained it was too sexual. And so it's been re uploaded to a new platform. All is good. All is well. So have a look at the contents by clicking on the link below. Alright. Today's topic, power. Sounds a bit aggressive, doesn't it? But it was inspired by a quote that I read and that I reposted onto my Tom Torero Facebook this morning and the quote said this, men dig beauty, chicks dig power, the rest is commentary. And that was said by Neil deGrasse Tyson, a great physicist, a great scientist that I really like. And it sounds so simple about men enjoying beauty, chicks enjoying power. But that's a profound sentence because if you know my podcast on sexual market value or love a provider, Not a podcast, sorry, but a talk. It was a talk on my YouTube channel. That all sound familiar because in that sentence, we're unpicking first of all, what men and women find attractive and why men find different things attractive to what women find. And b, we're looking at this mysterious word power and men instinctively are thinking, okay, power. Power means fame, I guess. Power means being muscular, being jacked, having loads of money, having a Ferrari. Power means being a CEO. Like, you know, men have this two d cartoon alpha figure character in their head. I think it's inspired by like He Man or a cartoon character when you're a little boy and you're watching this stuff and you're thinking that's what power is. A monster truck kind of power, a Red Bull kind of power. And it's not so simple as we talk about in that SMV talk where I break down the different aspects of what women find attractive. But let's first of go back to the beginning of that sentence where it says men dig beauty. And even though this gets people's backs up, this is true. And it's very simple. What men are attracted to when we're talking about survival and replication, what we're put on this sweet earth for biologically. That is very true, that men are attracted to beauty, to looks, largely, with age obviously. And in that is health as well. But health indicators are often shown in the beauty part of it. So in terms of female power, a really hot 21 year old girl has a hell of a lot of power. And we know this even when we look at her from across the street. I do this and students do this. You go, holy shit. Look at that girl. Jesus. And I feel something in my core. It's that middle brain. It's that animal brain. It's like being hungry or running or getting ready to fight. You're all alert. You're all ready. You're thinking, fuck. That's it. Krauser calls it the DNA tug. You just feel this primal force in your body. And men will do ridiculous things to get it, They'll get all the trappings that they believe they need to get these kind of girls. They'll change jobs. They'll change countries. They'll change their physique. They'll change everything about themselves to take this power, to try and harness this power. And beauty is intoxicating. Beauty drives men mad, sometimes literally. And it doesn't matter how successful or how robust you think you are, beauty can literally take your breath away and spin your mind and spin your emotions. Even if you've been a hardcore player, you know, you sometimes meet a girl who just bamboozles you with her beauty because she's young and she's hot, and you're you're drawn to her like a magnet. So we know about female power. But bear in mind, like I say in the SMB talk and the lover provider talk, women's sexual market value window, if we're talking about sexual economics, is pretty small. It's much smaller than a male's SMV window because those elements of female power, age and beauty, like a budding flower, they don't last long. Once that flower is gone, it's gone. So from late teenage years to mid to late twenties, that's the girl's golden years of age and beauty and health. That's when we're drawn to her. And yet, you can have hot girls when they're in their early thirties, mid thirties and there's always exceptions and there's celebrities and there's plastic surgery. But largely, we know from the barometer that is our dick, It's just a fact of life. Men are drawn towards younger and hotter girls, and that offends people, but it's a biological truth. So let's not get into the politics of it. Let's just accept that's female power, but it fades. Now let's get on to the main carnivorous topic of today, which is male power, my power, your power, your power right now, your potential power, and why that's really attractive to women. But more importantly, what is it? What are the elements of power? Well, if a female's power is her beauty and her age, and that's her sexual market value and her sexual market value window, our SMV is a lot more complex. Now there is a subset of guys that just believe it's about looks. That's the good looking guy game kind of camp, and it's fine. Looks can get you laid. I always say looks is just an opener, But it is an element of your power. You can use that. You can play to your strengths. You can use that as your hustle. So if you are a male model, yeah, you can use that like females do. But we know that with girls, it's not just about your looks, there's a lot more going on. And in that SMV talk, I go through the three groups that I've defined that make up male sexual market value, male power. And they are number one, ascribed. That means what your genes gave you, the roll of the dice. The second thing is external, so your trappings. And the third thing is learned. So if I quickly go through them in badass Buddha, I spend a long time going through them in terms of practical drills and practical things you're doing to improve these. But let's just look at them on paper now. Ascribed would be there for your looks, your age, so there you go, just like the female power. Your height, we know women are attracted to taller men. There is a limit. You don't wanna be a giraffe, but tall is good. Your nationality, now that's relative to her nationality, but that can give power. Your IQ, that's debatable really. There is some intelligence needed, but as you instinctively know, super clever guys, they're not necessarily more powerful in terms of their sexual market value. Nerdiness can actually go against you. I'll come back to IQ. Right, external. And this is what men obviously think of when we say the word power. Yep. The first trappings you can build up store is money. Obviously, you can acquire money. And there's a school of guys that just think that it's money that gets girls. And again, just like the looks, there's a truth in that because you can play the money game, you can play the provider game, you can have a table and champagne and you can be a gold digger host if you like, you can be a sugar daddy. And yeah, definitely money is an aphrodisiac in that it displays external SMV status. And it undeniably attracts girls. The morality underneath it and how it makes you feel and what that does for your personality and your game, that's a completely different thing. But let's just leave it there for now. So money's an element. And more importantly for your external power, it's your status. I call it your ecosystem status. That just means your relative status in a group. So that could just be the most popular boy in a group at school, or the most popular guy in a university football team, or being in a local pub band, that gives you high status. Or you could be a teacher. Like when I was a teacher, single moms and nannies at this particular school I was working in were drawn to me because I had status within that school. Same when I was an English teacher at kind of summer school camps, international summer school camps. The people who used to bring the kids along, like the chaperones, these attractive girls that would come with the kids, they were attracted because they saw me in this role. So that's an ecosystem status form of power. Let's take it further. You could be a minor celebrity, and in your local town, you've got some status. You could be a small time DJ, that gives you status. Moving on, you could be on national TV show, that gives you a lot of power. You could be a best selling a list rock star, that gives you a fuckload of power because you're you're the head, you're the leader of men as Mystery would say. You're preselected. You've got that massive social proof of being king of your ecosystem. So that's powerful as well. And that explains why women like the suits, women like the boss, women like the rock star, women like the celebrity, women like that leader of men. It's external. As I say in the SMB talk, both ecosystem status and money, they're fragile forms of power because if you take them away from the guy, the example I give is when Russell Brand moved to America for the first time, he was only famous in Britain from the MTV stuff and the interview stuff. Nobody knew at the beginning who Russell Brand was and he says in one interview when he walked down the street, he had lost his power. Because girls didn't run up to him, people didn't recognize him. He had to start all over again. So let's say you put Robbie Williams in a city and nobody knows who he is, he's not allowed to mention his past, what power does he have? Now, for both those guys, they're extremely charismatic and they have learned power anyway, as long with along with ascribed power, you could argue. But ecosystem, status, and money are fragile. That's why I don't concentrate on them or focus on that kind of game, that kind of hustle because it also does funny things to your sense of self worth, to your sense of who you are. It can fuck you up. We know that power can fuck you up in those circumstances specifically. Right, let's move on to the interesting stuff which I preach about and I've amplified and I hope you're doing as well. And what daygame and game is testimony to and that's the learned sexual market value or the learned power. And that is your worth as a man in terms of your life experiences. In terms of how badass you are. In terms of your leading skills. In terms of your escalating skills. In terms of your charisma, your charm, which leads to this mythical word of confidence. Now, let's come back to intelligence, because a learned form of power is really your social intelligence. IQ is not sexy. Social intelligence, very sexy. That means, can you hold court? Can you bamboozle a room? Can you tell a story? Can you tell when a girl is hooked or she's not hooked? Can you open a group? Can you merge a group? Can you talk to guys and girls? What do you like with other people, not just with one girl on the street? I can always tell a good seducer, not just a good daygamer but a good seducer by how he talks to everybody. How he talks to his friends, how he talks to a room, how captivating he is to anybody. That's your social intelligence. That's the sign of a real seducer. And women absolutely love that kind of guy. And we can add more learned power characteristics such as cockiness and arrogance, being a bit of a dick. Men don't like to hear that these are successful powerfully, but they are. We know it instinctively. The jackass, just the cocky guy, the arrogant guy that is extremely attractive in certain doses to women because it gives this male polarity. All these things add up to male polarity and ultimately non neediness. So the opposite of non neediness is not giving a shit because you have abundance, your plate spinning. I talk about that loads in Buddha's Buddha. Why if you don't understand these fundamental concepts, there's no point really learning little game gambits or just learning daygame and hoping for the best. You really need to understand the bigger picture about your market value, about what women find attractive. And then you can put the icing on the cake which is the technical outer game. Yeah? But the health warning in Badasputa right at the beginning is when I say, 10% of learning is thinking about all this stuff and improving. And 90% of the magic comes when you're actually talking to girls because that's when all this stuff slots into place. All right? Okay, that was a lot to take in. If that was a bit confusing, listen to that talk on sexual market value or the one on love a provider because I give the basic biology in that. Now, when I wrote down the word power as a topic for the podcast, I thought, well, that's gonna be misunderstood in terms of manipulative power or power gone mad, power crazy. Because, yeah, great power, great responsibility. Yeah? It can be misused. All that stuff about using the force wisely, being the dark knight if you like rather than the villain. So harnessing this power, knowing how to use it properly because you can do a lot of damage to girls you're seducing, to other people. Often it's a classic phase of learning game that you go from this shy, quiet, timid, polite, nice guy to a bit of a dick with a big ego where you think you're amazing, you think you're not only a boss with girls, but you ditch your old friends, you just start being a bit too arrogant. And then after a few years, you swing back. You don't join swinging, unless that's your thing. But you swing back to the middle ground of being a nice bad boy. That's what I call it, the badass Buddha. Not just badass badass badass because that can be self destructive. And if you look at the history of pickup artists or the history of seducers, I call them dark nights, often it ends in a kind of a car crash breakdown. A bit like a celebrity who very quickly gets famous. Let's say a singer in a rock band fucks loads of girls, travels the world, take load takes loads of drugs and then dies before they're 30. So you gotta watch this power and you gotta watch that it doesn't become dark. I always use the analogy of tough love. That's a great phrase, tough love. So with girls and with everybody. Not being the pushover nice guy, but being the good guy who displays tough love. The love of a good father or the love of a good teacher. And it's not angry or suppressive or aggressive like that two d cartoon alpha figure. But it's using this power wisely. So setting boundaries, being strong, being the boss, being the badass, but doing it from a positive place. As I always say, a place of love. And once you start unpicking this topic of power, it's quite exciting because we're not like girls where it's just limited to our looks and our age, thank fuck. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here doing my job or talking to you guys. But there's a lot that we can work on, okay? I've scribbled down here. You can't work obviously on your age or your nationality, but you could work on your height. Here's a practical tip. We always say, just wear some boots with a bit of a sole. That's not cheating. Women do like a taller guy, that is something you could improve on. You can improve on your looks, on your aesthetic. You can improve your skin. You can work on the acne, like I said last time. The glasses, the haircut, the fashion, the physique. There's guys I know that have had minor bits of plastic surgery. We're not talking about Pamela Anderson, Pamela Anderson style plastic surgery, but we're talking about little modifications. If it really affects you because ultimately it's how it affects you and how it affects your behavior, your teeth, whatever. So yeah, I scribbled that down just to stop a stream of comments about you know, it's only about looks, it's only about looks. That's one element of it. Of course, can work on your ecosystem status. That's why guys join rock bands. That's why guys become CEOs. That's why guys wanna be presidents of their societies. That's why guys do most things if you look at it, become diving instructors or DJs or ski instructors. That's the ecosystem status power. And yeah, you could call it snake seduction. You could say respect the hustle, but it does get you laid. You could focus completely on money. Alright? So money can get you laid. You could spend the next five years earning a shitload of money and it reminds me of that very famous poker player. He's like the most famous Instagrammer in the world, Dan Bilzarian, I think his name is. I love that guy. I'm not dissing him at all because if you watch the interviews with him, it's quite clear that he has game in other forms anyway before he made shitloads of money. He made tons of money playing professional poker. And just check out his Instagram photos. They're ridiculously pimpish where he's throwing money at girls. He's surrounded by girls and yachts and motorbikes and helicopters and it's all Vegas Vegas bling. It's kind of ironic and self deprecating, he gets the joke. He's improved his looks, he's a very very massively jacked guy and he's got cockiness, arrogance, confidence, charisma. I'm sure he can lead an escalate. He's definitely definitely non needy. So he's kind of parodying this form of money game. What you don't wanna be is the guy that just pays for hookers and pretends they're like some girls that actually are liking you for more than your money, that's a sad state of affairs. And just being a sugar daddy and having girls game you, it's a sad state of affairs. I'm not saying it doesn't work because it does. That's why when you see that, like, 70 year old fat dude in the middle of Moscow with a 21 year old tall blonde, you can't deny. She's there for the money. It's a kind of a business transaction. Krauser and I call that transactional sex rather than like the hot and heavy sex that she should be having with you. But hey, respect the hassle. Who am I to say? So that's the money. But let's come back to interesting stuff, the juicy stuff, the daygame stuff, the badass Buddha stuff. All that stuff about leading, escalating, confidence, charisma, social intelligence, non neediness, being a bit cocky, spiking it up, being the badass. I squeezed into seven actionable, learnable, teachable areas which I call the seven badass flames. So I say all the other stuff is just kind of filler. It's actually avoidance to doing these seven things because I've identified through my learning and the teaching of hundreds, thousands of guys that it's at seven points where we shit ourselves. So if we just get good if we just focus at these seven points, these seven key way markers, the other stuff, we're already doing. I'm sure you're already doing. And you can coast, you can fluff, you can fuck up, you don't even have to concentrate on. And there's a video somewhere, I think it's called introduction to badass Buddha where you see me going through these seven flames. But anyway, if you've not seen that, the first flame is approach the girl. Sounds so easy, but it's so fucking hard for a lot of guys. That's the AA stuff. The second one, which was a big one for me, is show your intent. Tell her you have a dick, not literally, but through everything else, display I have a dick, I have balls, I like you, man to woman, not friend to friend. And that's really hard for a lot of guys. That's the nice guy syndrome. The third flame is get the number. Close strong. Sounds easy again. But so many guys just just pull their own rip cord halfway through the interaction and run away, or they they mumble and fumble the ending. They do a fake nice guy friendly ending, whatever. So you gotta master the art of closing strong. The fourth one is text game and inviting her out. So many guys fuck up on that. It's a minefield. That's for another day, another podcast. The next one is the date and ultimately going for the kiss. That's a really important way marker which says, I like you and you like me. That strikes fear into most guys obviously because they don't wanna move from social to sexual. They don't wanna reveal the truth of what they're doing. The sixth one, which I still wobble on sometimes, is bouncing her home, telling her what to do, leading her, pulling her home. Because if the date's going really well, the temptation is, especially if she's really hot, just to go, I'll play it safe. We'll have another date. I won't bounce yet. I don't think she's ready. I'm gonna wait for a green light. I can see a flicker of green, but I'm not sure. So I've gotta remind myself, like I say in Badass Bora, go to the bathroom, look yourself in the mirror and think, man, the fuck up, Tom. Come on, let's do it. And then the last flame, which guys struggle with is obviously back at the place, your place, her place, the car, the toilet, wherever, pulling the trigger. And I've got a video on pulling the trigger, I think, on this channel as well. So the theme that threads through all of these things, if we're talking about male polarity being a badass, the seven badass moments is power. The powerful stop. Yeah? Getting her attention wherever you are in a coffee shop, an airport, her running down the street, a powerful masculine stop with that powerful body language, that powerful sub communication, which is honest and raw, which is I'm a bloke and I fancy you. That's the subtext. As well as, I know that you know that I know. I like that cheeky secret society subtext as well. Massive power in just being a bloke and saying something directly, something honestly, showing your intent. It's so rare these days, especially in the West. So girls absolutely love this form of power and you can win the day game interactions in the first ten seconds if you do this powerful stop or this powerful compliment. Honestly and clearly, girls absolutely love it. That's why I always say on training, let's spend time on that bit. Now, the wider theme that I go through a lot in Badass Buddha is powerfully holding the frame. That just means holding the direction of where all this is going. Because women are programmed to test you and push you and try and derail it, derail you. They even derail themselves. They're not having a go at you. That's completely natural. It's like when kids push a little bit against a teacher or kids push against a parent just to see where the line is, and they need that powerful tough love. Yeah? So you need to be unflinching. And that means leading the conversation, closing strong, directing the texting, directing the date, obviously, leading verbally, leading non verbally, leading through the venues, knowing when to bounce, knowing how to spike, knowing how to escalate physically and verbally. All this stuff is in the Balas Buddha. The crucial bounce home, managing the last minute resistance, non aggressively. Remember using power properly, so not getting reactive, but being the buddha as well as the badass and saying to the girl, look, it's okay. I understand. It's like a good teacher or a good parent, just calming the kid down. Sometimes I call this horse whispering. And that's a nice form of horse training where you're using power in a very beautiful way whether you believe in horse whispering or not. But it's just the principle of not beating the shit out of horses with sticks and whips, but rather calming them down, looking at them, standing in front of them, stroking them, using eye contact with a slow, low voice. That's horse whispering. And that's how I see what I do on the street and what I do on a date, and what I do when she's back in my room. It's never this aggressive, angry, bitter power. It's power from a place of strength. It's tough love. That's why it's not this two d cartoon alpha figure thing. Guys spend so much time on the internet arguing about what is alpha, what is not alpha, should I go to the gym, steroids, being jacked, paleo, that you're really missing the point about what male polarity is. You don't have to ride a Harley. You don't have to be covered in tattoos. You don't have to lift massive weights. You don't have to be in the hell's angels. Luckily, can show male power in all these other areas. Okay? Right to finish, a little controversial thing which gets massively misunderstood as well, and that's power in the bedroom. Alright? Domination. Male female polarity. Now you can see why this gets misquoted, misunderstood. It's a sensitive topic. It could seem politically incorrect. But if you've slept with a lot of girls, you know as well as I do that I've never had a girl who said, do it slower or be a bit gentler. Girls absolutely love it. And it doesn't matter if they're a librarian, a scientist, a lawyer, a housewife, if she's 18, if she's 30, doesn't matter about her nationality. We're talking about a sexual act where if you think about it just in terms of what you're doing to a girl, you're putting something inside her and pounding away to be nice and crass, you're dominating her. You're on top of her, you're behind her, you're whatever, you're grabbing her hair, you're putting your hand around her throat. When I kiss them, I put my thumb in their mouth. That's a good little test. I talk about that in Buddhist Buddha. Girls like to be submissive, alright? And interestingly, the milfs and the most powerful women like when I slept with a lawyer, let's say a London lawyer who's very mouthy and very feminist and masculine. They tell me after the sex that they love even more dominating sex because they spend all day being the dominant one. They need to be dominated by a man even more. And last winter, was in Germany and I seduced and I slept with a feminist. She was like a hardcore feminist to the point of having a house full of cats and books by Janet Street Porter. And I'm not getting into arguments with feminists here because it's just a good example of she was hot, I seduced her. And in her heart, she wasn't a feminist. She wanted me to do all those dirty things to her, which I did as it was snowing outside and she absolutely loved it. So don't be fooled by women that seem a bit hard. It's like a naughty kid or a spoiled child. They actually need and crave your beautiful male power, your domination even more. All women biologically like to feel small and feminine. They like to feel risky. They like it to be dangerous. And yeah, you could take that completely the wrong way and do really bad things to girls. No, that's not what I'm talking about obviously. I'm talking about this beautiful form of male female polarity where if you get these poles right, it's like two poles of a magnet clicking together, no problem. So the message of today's podcast is just simply work on your male power. Whether that you wanna just work on the ascribed stuff, the external stuff, or the learned stuff. But I would strongly recommend you harness your male sexual market value. Because remember the window's longer than a girl's, it lasts longer. You can be an attractive powerful male into your forties, into your fifties, even longer if you take care of yourself. So focus on power. Use power wisely. Use the force wisely, and may the force be with you.