---
title: Episode 72 Failure Stories (Part II)
episode_number: 72
era: mid
source_file: Episode 72 Failure Stories (Part II).mp3
audio_size_mb: 53.7
duration_sec: 1761.2
duration_min: 29.4
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.997
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:09:41Z---

# Episode 72 Failure Stories (Part II)

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero from Europe podcast 72 failure stories part two. Royal fuck ups you could call this. Blue bulls whatever. The opposite of notches, lays, victories. We shall dive deep into some more Torero failure stories. First of all, the upsell once again about live training, my last live training of the year. I'm coming to Europe in October with Craig Cassidy, my wing and fellow coach. It's the outlaw street hustle Euro tour two thousand and sixteen. Cologne, October 15. Munich, October 17. Vienna, October 19. Prague, October 21. Cracow, October 23. Each is a one day training session, twelve till 5PM, two to one instructor ratio. Wireless mics, 600 British pounds. Email me tom tomtorero dot com. There's one or two places left for each of those dates. Alright. Failure stories part two. I say part two because part one was about two years ago, almost to this day, I think I was sitting somewhere in rural Russia recording one of my very early podcasts. The quality was pretty shit. I was probably umming and ahhing. It shows you that failure can lead to success, that dodginess can lead to experience as Oscar Wilde said. Experience is the name we give to our mistakes. So perhaps if you've listened from podcast number one to podcast number 72, you might think yeah Tom got a bit better at the old podcast thing. Well, it's just the same obviously with a skill set like daygame, like tennis, like golf, like DJing, like masturbation, whatever. You get better with time but that doesn't mean that you can get rid of the quote unquote failures. Game has more failures than successes. If you zoom out and look at it that way like poker over the year I always say. You're going to lose often more than you win but when you win you want to win big so at the end of the year you're up against the house. Yeah? You've got to keep putting yourself in a position where you can score. You've got to keep putting yourself in front of the goal, putting yourself in a position where you can have a shot at the goal. And what new guys to gain don't realize is that more times than less you miss. You miss the penalty. I'm trying to make these football analogies when I blatantly don't know anything about football. But you get the idea more no's than yes's and I've spoken about this before in a recent video I've just put out on the daygame funnel. You'll see my number collecting from last week and you'll see how many of those numbers led to me texting her back and forth and then how many of those numbers turned into dates and then how many of those dates turned into lays and I call it a funnel like a sales funnel. Now the problem with doing this as a job and the problem with my selection bias brain is that I focus on the good stuff. I focus on the positives. I've said in previous podcasts that when something bad happens or negative happens in game, I tend to zip it up in a mental bag and throw that bag in the river forget about it and keep pushing forward. And this is good for my game because I don't dwell in the past, dwell on the future but it's not good for telling others about these failure stories. And like I said, I think in that first failure stories podcast, when I wrote my early books, the first one was daygame, the second one was terror travels. They are just lay reports and they are copy and pasted from a private blog I used to keep which chronicled my successes. So the first book daygame, I think it has a 100 lay reports and quite rightly, guys, like the early bit when I'm talking about, my woes and how I transformed and what I learned. They like the end bit which is kind of questioning my position that I had got to but lay after lay after lay after lay, I mean boring, repetitive. Okay. You stop a girl, you get her number, she texts you back, you go on a date, bit of token LMR, you have sex, rinse and repeat. And after a while people say, well, it's not perhaps, relatable because humans like juicy gossip, humans like drama, humans inherently are drawn towards failure because we can empathize with it. Yep. That's why motivational quotes and life coaches and those cheesy Facebook quotes are all about rising up after failure in true Batman style. Yeah. How we rise up or how well we rise up after falling down. So think of those quotes like here's a cheesy one. Most great people have attained their success just one step beyond their greatest failure. Or failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success. Yep. They're cheesy but it's true. If you are a kid learning something, you fall down, you fall down, you fall down, you can walk or you wobble on your bike then you can ride the bike or you fuck up with your language ability when you're learning a second language and then it's unconsciously competent. So that's the trajectory for learning a skill set. You fall off the snowboards, you fall on your ass until you can stand up. You fall off the surfboard until you can stand up with daygame blowout blowout blowout loads of flakes, nice guy daygame, loads of LMR until you see the successes coming in and like I said I focus on those successes but perhaps I should be putting out a lot more blue ball stories, failure stories, blowout stories, flake stories because when I look at my traffic or when I look at comments or when guys talk to me about what they actually empathize with and enjoy and understand and relate to and learn from it's the failure stuff. It's the fuck up stuff. So the first big message to take away from this podcast is the failure rate, the grind. I've spoken about this as well in a Torero Tom Fuloui video embracing the grind just understanding that there are more no's than yes's that blowouts are normal and flakes are normal. It's how you deal with it. I see this with students on residentials. Some students take it really really personally. Some can brush it off and obviously it's the ones that can brush it off and move forward. They get good really fast. You'll be surprised at how many guys they seem tough, they seem like they know the game, they can get numbers, they can get dates but one little setback, one girl that didn't kiss them or one bit of LMR, bang. That stops them gaming for a week or a month or they say, oh, fuck it and give up game. Because they've brought into the bullshit that you can get every girl that it should be more yeses than noes. They take it really really personally. And I suppose the bigger your ego, the more it's gonna sting when you get a blowout or you get a no to the number or you get a no to the kiss or she doesn't come back to yours or even worse, you get the blue balls on the bed. So from my latest video, the funnel, you see that volume is a part of it. As I say in that video, no, it's not just a numbers game because you have a baseline skill level. It should be repeatable. You should be able to get more solid numbers, more solid dates and more lays than a guy who's never done it before. If it was just a numbers game, you against a guy who's never done it before, you both approach 50 women. You should have the same results but that clearly that's not the case. So there is skill but after that you want to be playing the volume game, not spam approaching but volume of good strong leads which leads to texting, see how many fall off, see how many come on a date, see how many come back to yours and you should have a rough idea that, okay, if I do this amount of day game, I'm gonna go on this many dates and I should be getting this many lays. Now it's not a day game science. It's called pickup artistry because it's fluid and it's dependable on so many things, but you should have a rough idea. And a lot of daygamers are going for one new lay a month. Very active daygamers might have two or three lays a month. If you're doing this all the time and you're obsessed about daygamer notches, you might be able to get one new lay a week and if you add that up across the year, that's a lot of fucking lays with younger, hotter girls. But think about your, number of rejections if you're doing it that hard, you're number farming that hard, if you're going on that many dates. So let's dive into some Torero failure stories part two. These are just ones I've jotted down. From now on, I'm gonna really write down failures in detail or what I usually do after a successful lay is that I make a little dictaphone recording of it. So I should do this with the failures because it's amazing how quickly you forget about, successes and failures if you don't write them down or record them. If you're doing a lot of daygame, you can hardly remember what happened last year, let alone five years ago. So if you want to have Casanova memoirs when you're an old man, make sure you write them down. What is not written down is lost as they say in history. So these are ones that I've jotted down in the last year or so. Memorable ones, memorable fuck up ones. You've probably already heard me talking about the Saudi Arabian girl who I got back to the van in Banff in Canada. That was a failure. Never slept with her. Despite a second date. We had Ella Marcus. She was a strict Muslim virgin. The French girl who I nearly got in, Vancouver, that's also on the previous podcast, 69 or 70. I can't remember. So they were memorable stings in Canada. A recent one in, Central Europe, I had got the number of a waitress in a juice cafe. She was from Belarus. Although she was very liberated because she had left Minsk and she was now living in Europe. And it seemed so on. It seemed so easy. And again, just like playing poker, You should never be that cocky where you say this is in the bag. Right? I said to myself, ah, this is in the bag. It was so good. I had built up flirtatious banter with her over a few weeks. Got the number, texting was so strong, was so keen to come out. First venue was easy, hands all over each other. Second venue we were getting nice and drunk, walked her to the door of my apartment. She was umming and ahhing, I was too cocky and she was saying things like, you think you can get all the girls, you're a British guy and you come and you do this and you just think, you can have whatever you want. So clearly I was giving off way too cocky vibes and I got halfway inside the apartment building. Now at the bottom of that apartment building was a kind of a twenty four hour reception manned by what in Russia you'd call a babushka, an old grumpy Soviet ish grandma who just checks on people coming in, coming out very Soviet style. And I didn't know she was there as I was trying to get this girl into the apartment overcoming token LMR giving her a plausible reason after seething the bounce, know come up, tea, shisha, guitar, ten minutes blah blah blah And I had her by the hand and we were kissing in the doorway and then this grumpy babushka old lady appeared and started shouting in Russian I think to this Belarusian. Don't know what she said. Maybe she thought she was a prostitute or something and that girl left and then never texted me back again. So blue balled at the door. That's always very painful when you have to come up to your room and then sit on the bed and think how close. So close but so far. So near but so far. A similar one happened only this week with another suspiciously on girl that I had instant dated. She was a flirty teacher. It was very sexual from the start and you should always be aware of this. I think I've spoken about it in a red flag video where it's so sexual I was thinking, wow, this is too good to be true. Anyway on that eye date I kind of kissed her but it was the middle of the day so she went home texting was good, flirty, met up with her she turned up looking like she'd come to have sex, heels, black dress, I could see the sexy matching underwear, always a good sign. I didn't want to bounce her straight in. She said she wanted to walk. It was a sunny day so we walked to a local park, lay by a lake, we kissed, hands all over each other but again she was really talking about kinky shit and she wanted me to keep talking about it. She was baiting me into it. I was trying to stop but, it was very easy to get flirtatious and sexual with her. I thought, well, this is in the bag anyway, so fuck it. So we spoke about dirty fantasies and stuff. Again walked her to my door, she wouldn't come up. She said, she wanted to walk around even more. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. You go and do your shopping, we'll meet later for a drink and what do you know, she vanished. So a lot of this year has been about me pull, pull, pull, pull, pulling, overdoing it like I've said before because I'm filming this stealth seduction thing. And the more you do dig in, the more easily you get bored. Outwardly player ish and girls can smell it on you a mile off and okay a little bit's good. If it's under the radar is it's good. If it's secret society, it's good. If you roll off, it's good. But if you're just on on on escalate escalate escalate. Don't give a fuck. Don't give a fuck. You lose a lot. You burn a lot of sets and I've tried to reengage with her on text and so far nothing. So that was a bit of a waste. I had a tease in Poland. I remember a girl that was almost the same day lay. Middle of the day, shopping mall, instant date in Costa. Again, very sexual, very flirty in Costa. So I brought her home as soon as we got into my place. Big resistance and she was teasing me and she would, she said I couldn't, hug her or kiss her. She could only do it to me. She liked dominating. It was weird. I let her do it for a bit. She kind of gave me a little dance on a chair, in my living room. She kissed me. She kissed my neck. But every time I went to to hold her, was like, no. No. No. No. Cock tease. Classic. Anyway, more texting back and forth and we arranged for a Saturday date I think it was and we had been talking about what underwear she was gonna wear and that she could stay over blah blah blah. And on Saturday, I'd had another date that was running over so I just texted her something simple like listen, Let's push it back a bit instead of I think it was seven. Let's meet at nine. She went mad, because she's a princess. She refused to come at nine. She said it was too late. She was moaning. Then I said okay Sunday and then she flipped out and said no no no no no you've wasted your opportunity. Game playing madam. We'll never see her again I suspect and don't even want any bad vibes coming off that one. If you get bad vibes off a girl it's not really worth the lay unless you're smoking hot, because it affects your vibe. So that was another one. What else? Earlier this year in Berlin, you might remember I was in Berlin as part of the black sheep thing and I was teaching in Berlin. I think it was snowing. It was very early on in the year. Was cold. And there I met a girl, a cabin crew girl from Emirates Airlines that was living in Dubai and had moved back to Germany. She was German. She was very sexy, very beautiful. It had been a really good story because I had number closed during a night flight and it was very sexual and it was super on on on. And then I met her a few months later in Berlin, Germany and it was super on again. She came back to the room long story short token LMR which is, if you don't know by now, it's a girl getting to the last stage of the seduction dance and then her forebrain kicks in. The hindbrain is the primitive DNA part where she's wanting to have sex. The forebrain bit is the social conditioning or the religious conditioning. She doesn't want to be a slut, maybe that kind of guy she's seeing comes into the forefront of her mind. She doesn't want to feel used She needs a bit more comfort. She's actually looking for a boyfriend, whatever That kicks in and it's quite normal token LMR because girls are showing you that look they're not super sluts. It's a healthy thing. It's part of the whole dominance dance but some girls either they're cock teases or they're on their period or it's just too fast. With her I think she was just another cock tease. We would make out. I'd bite her neck. I kissed her boobs We got half naked and every time I nearly went for it. No barriers came down. So obviously you roll off take a step back watch some more of the music videos I think we were watching try again and you reach the point finally where she's like no I'm gonna go home and that was that so that was a shame that was a loss In list is bringing up terrible memories. I've got yeah in Colombia earlier this year when I was there with Rami the Great I had a basic number closed leading to a date with a hottie who came back to the apartment. We were getting on on the bed, we'd watched a bit of the movie and I went to the bathroom and I came back and I saw her hand behind her back. She was like trying to put something back into her bag and that freaked me out a little bit. Was like oh you know what's in your hand and she wouldn't show me so we had a bit of this weird standoff where I like what's in your hand? No I'm not going to show me. I'm not going to show you. Well what is it? And then she showed me it was a little flick knife. Now she wasn't going to stab me. She had this flick knife because, she said that in Colombia that's normal. Girls carry them in their bags. There's lots of dodgy guys But from there on in, it suddenly got really weird, obviously, because I was still lying on the bed with her, but then I could see that she had this knife in her bag. She was acting really weirdly, and it all the house of cards just collapsed. All the sexual tension collapsed. Psycho girl kicked her out eventually with the help of Rami the Great. That was a memorable one. That must be in a book sometime. That was fucking weird. Frustrating ones. One in Tokyo, a beautiful a beautiful graphic designer who I took on multiple dates. She was very shy. She was so cool both in her fashion, in her look, in her personality and I was pushing too fast. Again I was there with my mate Tim and we were only there I think for a couple of weeks. I was push pushing or rather pulling. We say in game pull pull pull pull escalate escalate escalate escalate and she wanted something slower. Maybe girls have had bad experiences or they really are that naive. They just need a bit more slowing down and she knew I was going home. So we got again 90% of the way there but no P in V. They're always the most frustrating ones when you come so near but you don't come. In Tokyo, I had, an English girl, an 18 year old English girl. What? Digging works on English skills? Yes, it does. She was doing an internship in Tokyo. I met her in a Starbucks. We went out that evening. It was super on. She was a bit of a madam actually because we got naked and I was basically inside her and then she was like, no, I'm gonna go home now. God knows why. Again it's not good to massively deconstruct what happened and wallow in self pity and think oh no what did I do wrong?' That was just just another another one that didn't happen but, if I hadn't written that down I would have forgotten about it but it's on the list. So I will, I will pad these out into stories at some point. In, oh another Polish story. I had a Polish virgin who I had met I think a year and a half, two years ago then I went back to Poland to do a residential. She came back on the radar. She would come over, we would kiss, we would touch, she gave me a handjob, I was fingering her and I almost got to the point of taking her virginity and then she was just like no no no no no you're a player. She wanted, a sweet Polish boyfriend. Again I was was rushing things. If I lived in Poland, if I took it slower, if I did a bit more rapport, if I agreed to play the boyfriend role or pretended to play the boyfriend role, which is what a lot of hustlers do, I could have got the notch but I didn't. So, that was sad because she was very pretty and, taking a girl's virginity, always, always a good story. I got Soho. Soho disaster with a Greek girl. Last time I was living in London I was living in Seedy Soho and outside my door I met a Greek girl, classic same day lay, backpack a tourist kind of Greek girl, took her to some CD bars, Freedom bar in Soho if you know it. Upstairs a normal bar, downstairs loads of poles. We were on the poles. I was on the pole. She was on the pole. It was fucking weird. Great weird venue to go to. Real, spike of sexual energy in there. She came back to my room super fast, finger in her, pee almost in v and then she remembered her boyfriend in Greece and sometimes you can't overcome it. So she left, that was, a failure. You're getting the pattern here. That is normal to fail. You can fail at different points in the game. Now another guy would be just hanging his head in his hands giving up game. Oh no, it's me. It's all terrible. Why is this happening? It's part of the game. If it's not happening then I don't believe you're playing the game hard enough. If a guy says he's never getting token LMR or he's losing penalty shots, he's not a gamer. He's just gaming yes girls. That's fool's mate, Mystery used to call it. Yeah. I've written down Riga girl with boyfriend. There was a very pretty girl who, again, it was a quick demo number close for a student in Riga, Latvia. And the next time I went back, she seemed super on. She worked in a coffee shop. I met her after work. She came back to mine. She explained she'd been living with her boyfriend for two years and he was a very nice, stable, reliable guy who she was gonna marry. But she had those wild eyes, maybe it was the time of the month. We made out, she gave me a hand job, we were fooling around on the bed. I think I got a blow job offer. She came around again the next day. She was super tempted but no full brain kicked in at the last minute. She went back to her boyfriend and this year I've seen that they are now engaged. So there you go. Secret society doesn't always finish in a lay, but you could see her wrestling between forebrain and hindbrain, women's dual mating strategy. If you don't know what that is, check out Street Hustle, the biology underpinning all this stuff. I've had numerous copious dates to nowhere this year where I've got the number, texting's been good, going on the date and like I said, because I've been doing a lot of them for the product, Stealth Seduction I've been too on and whereas it should be implied I've been explicit saying things because I know the camera's rolling or the microphone's on and the girl just thinks this is too playerish. This is too well rehearsed. This is too slick. This is too smooth. Triggers too much token LMR ASD anti slut defense and I've lost them. Maybe I've kissed them. Usually I kiss them and then they don't come back for the second date so too much pulling. When I've moved from city to city to city I'm losing leads constantly. The attrition is horrible. When I used to live in London it was much easier to get laid. Remember my first 100 lays were in London pretty much because if a girl fell off the map, well you could you could wait forget about her, she'd come back on the radar three months later or you could juggle dates. It didn't really matter but when you're in city to city to city to city you're pushing really hard or rather pulling really hard trying to get the lay. You leave the city and then the depressing thing is you might be in an airport, you're in another country and you get a late night message from a girl 'hey, where are you? I'm in the center'. Fuck it. So often it's about backing the right horse I say when you're doing day game and travel. You have to really think well which lead, is the outstanding one? Where do I stand the highest chance? And oftentimes you are wrong. Often it's the strong sets I say to students on the street. Often it's the eye dates, the ones where you think 'fuck that was good'. 'Fuck that was top level game'. That is solid, super solid. Guaranteed lay. Uh-uh. She doesn't text you back. Whereas it's often the throwaway sets counter intuitively ironically the ones you do when you're a bit sleepy or you vibe shit. I had one the other day where I was on my way to buy a sim card, for my dongle, Wongle dongle for my laptop. I wasn't gaming. I was feeling croaky and hungover. I looked like shit and there on the zebra crossing was a very leggy flamingo kind of girl ran in front of a 17 year old, instant dated her, bounced her back to mine. She's a virgin but that lead is super strong. It's going well. So that was a throwaway set. I had random sets last week that were just demos for students. They turned out to be really strong leads. So you never know. It's like a sick mind game that God plays with you or karma plays with you or the universe plays with you or chance, probability, randomness plays with you, whatever your belief system. But it's part of the game. So let's go three sixty back to the beginning of the podcast. It's how well we do, after falling. How well do we rise up Batman would say. Failure is not the opposite of success. It's part of success. So listening to some of those stories, those tidbits you should be thinking, yeah, I've had that. I get a lot of that. That happens to me all the time. If you're not, then either you're not daygaming at all and you have this idea that it's just lay lay lay lay lay which is partly my fault because you've read daygame or Torero travels or you just read lay reports or you're going out and daygaming and you're just playing finding the yes girl. So is that girl hotter than you or younger than you or are you settling for less? Even worse, are you getting like tinder lays that are guaranteed? Yes, they are guaranteed lays, but is she hotter than you? Is she younger than you? Are you proud of that girl? Was that really a well, it wasn't a cold approach. It was a tinder, but was it really game or was that another kind of a drunk girl in a bar where yeah, you're drunk, she's drunk, you're horny, she's horny, taxi back to yours, you fuck no LMR and you go, you're a bro, I never get LMR. I never get failure. You're not pushing out of your comfort zone. Yeah? If you're going for the eights, nines and tens, you certainly will, my friend, be getting blowouts, flakes, near misses, blue balls. That's showing you that you are playing outside your comfort zone which is uncomfortable. It does sting but like every cheesy life coach says, every sports coach says, that's how you grow. That's what builds muscle, the mental muscle of being able to carry on, pick yourself up and carry on and lo and behold eventually you keep rolling the dice, you'll get that six with a nice foundation skill level of hustling. You'll be able to make it predictable. You'll be able to make it repeatable. Sure. It goes up and down, but at the end of the year, you'll be winning against the house. So failures, it's the path to success. Sex ses as in s e x. That was podcast 72. Next one will be from Wales, think. I've got to go home and see my mother for a little bit before I'm in Prague. Then I'm in a bit more Central Europe, and then the Euro tour begins. Don't forget that Euro tour, the October dates. Give me an email if you want one of the remaining places. Cologne on the October 15, Munich on the October 17, Vienna October 19, Prague October 21, Cracow October 23, twelve to 5PM, £600. There we go. Speak to you next week.