---
title: Episode 75 Preselection
episode_number: 75
era: mid
source_file: Episode 75 Preselection.mp3
audio_size_mb: 57.2
duration_sec: 1872.9
duration_min: 31.2
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.997
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:12:30Z---

# Episode 75 Preselection

**Speaker 0:** Podcast 75, Tom Torero. This one's on pre selection being wanted by other women and how that creates attraction. Poland, just got back from Prague and off tomorrow to Ukraine before going to Toronto, before coming back to Europe. Going here, there and everywhere. Lots of guys have already said, is there going to be a Toronto meetup? I didn't realize there were so many bloody daygamers in Toronto. So yes, there will be. I'll sort that out and I'll publish that date. 75 podcasts. That is ridiculous. Three quarters of the way to a 100. What do you know? Who'd have thought that I'd still be going on 75? But thank you for listening. Thank you for downloading this. If you're listening or watching this, watching a stationary static slide on YouTube, did you know that you can download all 75 podcasts for free on iTunes and give it a rate, give it a review? It's one of the very few consistent weekly pickup podcasts. Maybe it's now the only consistent daygame podcast. So a lot of guys are finding me finding my stuff through the podcast on iTunes. It's a good platform and I'm going to carry on something special hopefully for a 100. I'll come on to that as we get nearer to a 100. Anyway, the topic as I said, pre selection, being wanted by other women and how that creates more attraction. And it's counterintuitive cause guys worry about jealousy and girls finding out and what happens if girls know. Interestingly, I've just put up a YouTube video on, why game isn't this secret masonic cultish thing and it generated a lot of dislike and a lot of emails from guys saying, it is, it's a secret, it's a secret. We mustn't get too many guys doing it. They're forgetting the game is millions of years old. This seduction dance is hardwired, it's biological, it's the definition of life. Girls are playing the game, we're playing the game. That's the secret society. Girls are in on it most of the time and if you're good, you're good. So do not fret about too many guys doing it. I put up a statistic somewhere that even if let's say 20 guys are doing it on Saturday in London, if you work out what that is as a percentage fraction of the male population of London, it is very small compared to guys that are on Tinder, compared to guys that are going to bars and clubs on a Friday Saturday night doing online dating and even then, like I said in the video, you shouldn't be a daygame robot. You're only going to be called out if you like, if you're wearing the same thing, saying exactly the same thing, doing it in exactly the same place. Come on guys, use your imagination. Go into different locations and shops and improvise. Watch my video on street improv. Let go of the stabilizers and the scaffolding once you've done your 100, 200 sets. Okay? The London daygame model is only to get you started. And then freestyle, create your own daygame style and, it's authentic, it's genuine, it's direct game. So women are programmed to love this kind of man as I say in the video. But anyway, rant over, watch the video and, give it a thumbs up rather than the on slaught of negativity around that video. Alright, let's dive into pre selection in daygame because in night game, it's very easy. In social circles, it's very easy. At work, in a social group, it's very easy. Doing ecosystem game which is where you're a diving instructor or you're a ski instructor or you're a CEO and you're working off being the top dog, being the apex alpha, you're just the dominant guy and yep, women are looking up to you. You have status, you have rank and by default you get laid through that system. I'm not knocking ecosystem game or social circle game. I'll come on to club game and entourage game. It's all good and it gets you laid but it gets you laid because of this pre selection thing and now you're a day gamer, you're alone, you're on the street and you're thinking, well, how does she know that I'm preselected by other girls and why does it work and how does it work? Well, that's what this podcast is about. It's also going to talk about preselection with dating and merging dates. This all sounds weird and counterintuitive, you know, bringing two girls on a date and letting them fight over you, maybe three, maybe four. I'll talk about stories where I've done that. And even when you're dating a girl and it's an open relationship or you might be in a closed relationship, you poor sod, How you can use preselection to amplify attraction, get her more interested in you and why you should be flirting anyway with other people. Again, counterintuitive. Guys worry about jealousy and her finding out but we'll explain how it works. The biology, the psychology underpinning it, hopefully you know. If you've read Mystery Method or you've read Cialdini's book on influence and persuasion, you'll know why humans, look to others to direct their choices or rather they look to similar others, people who are like us to help us with our decision making. It's from the genetic hardwiring when we lived in tribes. It makes decision making much easier. It minimises risk. You trust what other people are doing. You eat from the same food pot that others are eating because it's far less likely to kill you. You're trusting decisions of other people in your tribe to make choices and that's easily explainable and it explains human behavior to this day and obviously it explains the mating aspect of human behaviour and certainly it applies to women. It's very, very powerful when it comes to women. If you remember Mystery's attraction switches, he's got five attraction switches which is part of male value and I agree with them. The first one was protector of loved ones. The second one was being a leader of men. Remember that one. The third one was emoting freely. The fourth one was being a risk taker and the fifth one was being pre selected by other females. Kind of links to number two also in that you're a leader of men. So remember those two from The Mystery Method and if you've read Cialdini's book on persuasion and marketing, you'll remember he's got six influence things and the first one is reciprocity, the second one is scarcity, the third one is authority, consistency. Fifth one is likability. And the sixth one is social proof being proven by others which is preselection. So Mystery agrees with Cialdini and I agree with both of them in Street Hustle. I go into a lot more detail on how to apply sardini and Mystery Method to to what we do on the street but today we're just looking at being pre selected at the social proof aspect of it and thinking how can we incorporate that practically into our daygame texting and dating and our relationships. And you might be thinking as all humans think, oh I'm immune to influence and persuasion but the products you buy, the clothes you wear, the places you go to eat, the things you talk about, the things you watch on TV, the podcasts you listen to are massively influenced by other people. We are social beings and we all take cues from other human beings that we trust in our social circle. A good example is going to a restaurant that is popular, staying in a hotel that has good reviews, seeing a nightclub line, people queuing outside the nightclub usually with the rope and the red carpet. Usually, it's in a self created imaginary queue. Nightclubs do this. They they just get people queuing. Why? Because you walk past and you think, wow, those people are waiting to get in. Therefore, it must be a good club. Therefore, I want to go in too. I'm gonna trust the opinion of others. And there is a whole aspect of game. You might not know this if you're just a day gamer. There's a whole, niche of game which uses only pre selection to try to get laid. I've already mentioned ecosystem game, which is when you become a diving instructor or a TEFL teacher or you work in a hostel, you work in a backpackers and you're just the top dog and that can get you laid. When I was a school teacher, I was basically doing that without knowing it. No, not with the children but the nannies and the female young pretty teachers and some of the single mom parents. I was just only male in the school, top dog. I was pre selected and so attraction was assumed, rapport was already there and I dated and slept with a handful just from that kind of game. The game I'm talking about which uses pre selection on purpose is, you could say classic kind of mystery method with a bit more cleverness thrown in. It's called entourage game and it's where you are kind of like a promoter during the week and you gather leads of pretty girls and you say to them that you're going to invite them to a club and there's going to be free alcohol and it's going to be a VIP table, then you invite all those girls. No. There's no other guys except your wing and guys in on the hustle. You meet the girls at a spot and you walk them to a pre drink and then you take them into the club and clubs love it. Okay. Clubs work in the currency of pretty girls. Girls get in for free. It's the guys that pay the door charge and it's the guys that buy the expensive drinks. Yep. It's just a business model. Yep. You're being hustled. It's another reason not to buy into all this shit. But this hustle is complicated and it works. So the girls all arrive at the table. You seat them at your table, you're in charge of the table, your top dog, you are given alcohol from the club for free and that's your reward for getting all these girls in the club. Sometimes you're also paid if the girls are hot. You pour the drinks, you do the spiking up, you have pre selected attraction off those girls because they just assume that you're cool, that you're badass. The girls chat to each other. They say, how do you know Tom? And this is where guys worry. They say, what? Won't these girls find out that each one of them was stopped? Well, yeah. And it makes no bloody difference. It's just automatic. You put girls in a room with one guy and the girls start bickering, being jealous, obviously behind each other's backs, they're very catty, very nice to each other. And the plan is that you let them fight over you and as the night goes on, you pick up the IOIs, you work out which one's into you, which one's single and like a like a rock star, You're preselected from that social proof, and you're good to go. So attraction is created for you by the jealousy plot lines going on. That's the game behind it. And I used to do it with a famous pickup artist, now the wing of Mystery called Robert Beck, Baxter. He's been working that model in London for about fifteen years, maybe longer. He does a bit of daygame. He does a bit of classic nightgame, but that's what he's really really good at. Essentially being a club promoter for the sake of game and he has a massive network all over London of door lists and lists he puts girls on and other VIP events and it's a great way of getting late. Yes, it's complicated. Yes, you can't go for every girl that you see in a bookstore or a supermarket if you're just relying on this. But entourage game definitely works. And that's essentially what being famous is. You think, well, why does some really weird looking guys or you could say ugly guys or, older guys, they shouldn't be getting that kind of caliber of girl you're thinking in your head. How does this work? And you're thinking, they're in a rock band, they're a bassist, they wrote a novel, they appeared in a minor TV show. This is why people want to be famous. For girls, it gives them access to alpha males. And for males, it's fantastic to be famous even if it's five minutes of fame because whether you're on YouTube or you're some kind of author or you've gone on a tour, you're giving a lecture, you're standing in front of people, you're a leader of men, you've got social proof. So there is very little game. It's like being the ski instructor. You just through a process of filtration, work out which girls are into you and then you seal the deal. That's entourage game. That's ecosystem game as I named it. And it works in the night. It's the same with jealousy plot lines when you might be introducing one girl you met in a bar. You she's your first set of the night and you use her as your wing girl without her knowing to open other sets. That's classic Mystery Method. I think he calls it walking the rails where you meet one girl, you put her on in your arm, you then introduce her to another girl that you don't know, but the girls don't know that. You put her on your other arm and you walk through the club nice and slowly with a big fat smile on your face. Walking the rails, I think he still calls that. And what do you know? Every other girl in the venue looks at you. Why? Because of this pre selection thing. What's everybody thinking? Who's that guy? Why has he got two girls? Then it's obviously much easier to open sets. This is classic Mystery Method. I once again encourage you to read the Mystery Method and ditch your stereotypes about old school pickup with fluffy hats and goggles. That's not what Mystery Method about is about. Mystery Method talks about the evolutionary biology behind attraction and explains why most of his method is based on preselection. It's fascinating stuff. It's complicated stuff. It's convoluted stuff. It's a different skill set to day game but the fundamentals are the same. Alright. Well, you're thinking, okay. I understand the night game and the entourage game and the ecosystem game but how the fuck can you do pre selection with your daygame? Okay. Well, we need to hint to the girl even when we're on the street that other women find us attractive, that we are desirable to women. How can we do that if we we're not a rock star that we if we don't have the screaming fans? If we're not a CEO or or the ski instructor? Well, we're from the moment we're stopping her, we're, like I said in last week's podcast, we're the brand. So she's looking at us and straight away she's making assumptions. Does this guy get laid? And this is where peacocking comes from and you should be thinking about your style and your fashion. Are you the the boyfriend safe styled guy? Is that your fashion or are you coming across as a bit of a bad boy? Have you given yourself an edge? Or do you look a bit like a possible celebrity? You know, have you got that slickness? If you're an older guy, go with that. Listen to the Hank Moody podcast or daygame for 30 plus guys. Sure. You don't need to look like a rock star. You don't need to go crazy on peacocking, but we all peacock. Alright? This is why it's silly when you laugh at the concept of peacocking because when you choose what shoes to put on, that's a peacocking decision. When you buy a certain shirt, that's a peacocking decision. When you wear that one pendant or one ring, that's peacocking. Alright? And girls pick up on it. So how you dress, how you walk, your swagger, this gives off indicators to the girl that, okay, this is a guy that gets laid. In the beginning, fake it till you make it, it feels weird, it might not come across as authentic congruent, but over time you'll become that person. Confidence shows the girl that you get laid. So if you can pull off some crazy peacocking, Johnny Depp level peacocking or you are so arrogant and you can pull it off, you can back it, the girl thinks, okay, this guy is confident because he's had other success with girls. Now she doesn't rationally think that but that's the thought process going on deep in her female brain. Now she's also, thinking, how do I know this guy, is got other women in his life because he's jumped in front of me and, he's taken that risk to tell me what he wants. He's got balls. So don't forget, don't underestimate the power of the front stop and being direct, running after a hot girl and jumping in front of her. Even in New York, even in Tokyo, even in London. That's impressive. Because sure, many guys go indirect or give business cards. But to do that suggests you've done it before and guys go, well, oh no, she'll know I'm a player. That comes back to the video that I've just released on YouTube. It's counterintuitive but it's a good thing. Alright. Women are attracted to men who are already banging lots of chicks. You can understand the DNA, the biology behind that. Yeah. They want to be in on it. So yeah, you feel, oh my god, I'm coming across as a player. And to the nice guy that's like, oh, oh no, she mustn't find out. I must be respectable. I must make this romantic. No. No. A no. Just look at rock bands. Look at, my video on the real alpha. Alpha is not, being jacked or money or cars or nice shirts. Alpha is just simply the guy who fucks girls. And if you can remember from your university or school or you can look at people in rock bands or DJs, they're the kind of guys that are technically alpha. They are getting laid. They are desired by other girls. So we're not going to rub her nose in it, but we're going to hint at it. All right? We're going to let jealousy work. It's magic. And we're going to let her fill in the blanks. So on the street, there's not really much more that you can do. I wouldn't start talking about beautiful ex girlfriends or you're not going to be bringing other people in on the street. If you're doing a two set, watch my video from Kazakhstan on how to do a two set solo. That's an infield on YouTube. You see how I use the other girl in classic Mystery Method style to get the girl I want. And that is pre selection. That's showing that you have social intelligence. I'm using that one girl. I'm teasing, teaming up with her to make fun of the one that I want. So you can do that. If you're with a cool wing, you've got a cool regular wing and you're doing gutter game, night game, you're just doing two sets on the street, that also shows a bit of social proof, social intelligence. The girl's thinking he's socially intelligent, therefore he's done this before. He's calm around beautiful women aka he's pre selected. So that's how the day game pre selection works. It's implied. Now, once you add her on Facebook or she sees a few of your photos on WhatsApp or even better you listen to my or you watch my video on photo routines, you'll know that currently I run an Instagram just for girls. I add girls to it. I can use Instagram messenger. I use the photos as subtle DHVs on dates, humble bragging. I'll come on to that. But when a girl looks at your Facebook, she's essentially looking at your brand, at your landing page. And what's the first thing she looks at? Your photos. So, again, counterintuitive. Guys think, well, I'm I mustn't have any photos of me doing naughty things with girls. Yeah. You're not rubbing her nose in it and having cheesy photos of you with your ex wife or your ex girlfriend or like those photos in a club where you're just grabbing random girls. No. You're implying you're surrounded by beautiful women like the Dan Bilzerian Instagram account. Yeah. That's how it works with him. Social proof, women are contacting him because they can see that other beautiful women like him. So have shots of you having social gatherings with beautiful girls. Have a shot of you sitting next to a girl, maybe with your arm around her but no heavy making outs and the girl who's looking at the these photos, she's thinking, 'Who is that girl? Is that his ex girlfriend? Is that his current girlfriend?' I love it. Let girls get carried away with their imagination. This creates massive amounts of attraction through jealousy. So really think about your Facebook pictures and your Instagram pictures. I've given more information on that photo routine video. I think it's called the photo stack. Now let's get a bit more brave. Something that sounds really fucking crazy, but I've tried it a few times. High risk, high reward. It's a great example of why preselection still works in dating. So I've been trying to sleep with two separate girls and, on separate occasions, and perhaps it wasn't going well. And then I've decided in a moment of madness just to introduce those two girls to each other In game, that's called merging the set. But I'm not doing it in a club. I'm doing it on a date. It's in my first book, daygame. I did it with a Slovak girl and I think a German girl. Or, she might have been American or American German. I can't remember. But the story's in the book. And I really wanted the Slovak, not the, German. But the German was nice and neither of them I was succeeding with until I whether it was randomly or consciously, can't remember, but I met them both in the same pub. I think it was down by embankment and straight away the girls were on best behavior. Now did they inquire as to how I had met the other girl? Yes. The guys go, oh no. She's gonna know about daygame, she's gonna know that I approach other girls. Yes, she does and you laugh it off. You say, of course, you know, I go after things of beauty. When I want something, I go for it. Know, does that make me a bad man? Yeah, you were the number 2642, you know, I just like beautiful food, beautiful views, beautiful food, beautiful women. Shoot me, you know, I'm a simple guy, I'm a caveman. I like sleeping, eating and sex. I'm a very primitive man and you want girls to slap you playfully. Oh my god, Tom, you're a very bad man but what do you know, the girls run the best behavior and then when you go to the bathroom, they might start, trying to outdo the other one. They, are trying to impress you and what do you know That that same night, I slept with the Slovak. And at the last minute, the German was trying to cock block saying, no. No. We should, we should go off together. She was saying to the Slovak and go and do something. And the Slovak was smiling at me. No. I'm gonna go back to Tom's. And that's when we slept, together. I did it on another occasion, which is in daygame, my first book, which you can buy on Amazon Kindle. You don't need the lulu paperback. I was trying to sleep with the French girl, I'd already slept with the Czech girl, and I merged them. I introduced them to each other in dual bar Piccadilly Circus, and then ditched the Czech girl because I'd already slept with her and she was not a nice girl. Czechs can be quite hard, quite, tough, quite edgy. She was pretty bitchy. But through having been on this double date and having danced with both of them, taking the French girl home and sleeping with her was easy. Once in Belarus, in Minsk, I took three or possibly four different girls that I had met through daygame to a club. I've created a bit of mini entourage and slept with one of them. I've invited girls' friends on dates where the girl couldn't speak English and use the friend as the pawn. Not as that pawn but p a w n, classic Mystery Method, classic Entourage Social Proof and just teaming up with a friend. Basically ignoring the one that you're on a date with and letting jealousy work its magic. Okay. Once she's back at your place or you've got a regular girl, how can you have pre selection? Well, hairs on the pillow, random little items and again, the nice guy is going, what? We must hide this. She mustn't know I have other girls in my life. Well, if you know game theory, if you know biology and if you if you're a player, if you do a lot of game, you'll know that having these little random hairs on your sofa or the girls like, what's this? A blonde hair? And you just laugh it off with that smug Hank Moody smile. You're not rubbing her nose in it, you're just implying and I say, yeah, that was my Tuesday wife, know, I got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, your Thursday, Currently Friday's free and then Saturday, Sunday is for me. My body is a temple. I go to church on Sunday and confess my sins, you know. Yeah. I I've got illegitimate kids all over the world, you know. It's like the Eurovision song contest. One day I'm gonna see which one's the most talented and he's going to inherit all my wealth. So I'm just playing this role of cad, of of lover. And girls love it because you're pre selected. She knows you're seeing other girls. You're not texting her every day. You disappear for a while. You go to other countries, this is the great thing about travelling. She kind of guesses that I have other girls in other cities and that turns her on even more, that increases her good behaviour, she wants to do things for me, she wants to outdo the other girls and you let you let nature take its course. This is with storytelling as well. The old mystery method is that you do the DHVs and the storytelling about your ex girlfriend who is a stripper. Well, when you do enough game, you have enough of these stories that are true, Where I have dated models from Russia and I have dated hot Colombians and I have dated hot Swedes and yeah, don't rub their nose in it. It's tempting to be like, yeah, I'm Mr. Cool. I'm Mr. Player. Look at this. That's crass and it shows a lack of social intelligence. The temptation is to do that at the beginning. But when you have been doing this for two, three, four, five, six years, you'll have enough photos with girls. You'll have enough videos with girls. You'll have enough stories that you can tell girls either on the date or when she's back at yours. When you're on the date, I should have said, flirt. And the nice girl's like, what? I I mustn't be shown to be flirting with other women? Yes. Flirt with a barmaid. If the girl's misbehaving slightly, you know, she's texting or she's taking a phone call, immediately I turn around and I talk to the table next to me. Even if it's a guy and a girl or two old ladies, it doesn't matter. Show that you're socially proven. Show her these Mystery Method skills. Show her your understanding of entourage. And I tell you, if you start flirting with a female barmaid, that will increase the attraction with your girl. That's why open relationships work for a time. That's the footnote with open relationships. You have to keep refreshing them. Listen to my podcast on harem's for that. This is simply why jealousy works, why women sleep with married men, why it even turns women on when they find out that you're dating other girls. Sure, she might shout at you. Girls have found my videos, my website, they've read my book and they shout at you for a little bit. There's drama created but if you now pick up, you know that that's a good thing. They come back because, this is hardwired where she's thinking there's other women who like him, therefore his DNA is valuable or there's other women in the picture, therefore I have to work harder to keep him around. And I'll finish with that. But if you're in a relationship, maybe you're just a daygame voyeur and you're thinking about getting out of your relationship or you've typed into Google, how do I get my ex back? Well, I would say don't. And if you're thinking about quitting the relationship, then it's time to quit the relationship. You've already made that decision. I've got podcasts on breakups. I've got podcasts on affection addiction. That's one of my favorite podcasts ever. Did affection addiction just after I had finished things with a girl this year in January. Recorded that podcast in Iceland. It's a really, really good one. But anyway, why am I talking about that? Yes. If you're one of those guys thinking, do want to get it back or I do want to keep this relationship going. I'd say, well, you're a madman, but here's what you can try. You can either, some guys would say, suddenly hit the gym and sort out your fitness and that'll wake her up. She'll be thinking, why is he doing this? He must be going out and meeting other women. Okay. That's good. Or you can simply start implying you're seeing other women. Alright. The cliche is that yeah, you get the promotion at work and then she fucks you but just start implying things. Start going out in the evening. Start going on a lads holiday. Start just suggesting, just suggesting with photos, with very clever things you're doing on your Facebook and your Instagram. I tell you a jealous woman does better research as they say than an FBI agent. Okay? So, make sure you know what you're doing because you're playing with fire. But that jealousy will restore that drama and the drama will create the spark and the spark will create the attraction. If she's jealous, she's attracted. A nice guy should have that tattooed on his arm. If she's jealous, she's attracted. Much better to create drama between you and a girl than neutral bland nothingness. Make her feel something. Yeah. A woman loves to know that you're desired by other females and this is at the heart of every soap opera they watch, every magazine they read, everything they're into. They love this guy who's the jock. They love this guy who's the player. Even though they might publicly say they hate him, listen to a girl's actions, not her words as my dad used to say. So I hope that makes sense. I hope you consider the technicalities of game and you look at Mystery Method or you look at the Cialdini book. I will link them below if you're listening on YouTube. Or, if you're on my blog. I'll put both those books underneath. They're worth reading so you understand why and how social proof works. And maybe you're interested in trying a bit of entourage game or you're thinking about becoming a ski instructor or a TEFL instructor, or you're in a band already and you know how social proof works, or you're just thinking how can you implement it into your daygame. That was podcast 75. The next one's gonna be from Ukraine with me mate, Tim. I was in Japan with Tim. I'm going to Japan with Tim again in November. But Timothy and I shall be, up to no good for some daygame debauchery in Ukraine. Until next time. Thanks for listening. Cheers for your support. Keep grabbing life by the hunt.