---
title: Episode 79 Anger Management
episode_number: 79
era: mid
source_file: Episode 79 Anger Management.mp3
audio_size_mb: 55.1
duration_sec: 1805.8
duration_min: 30.1
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.987
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:16:10Z---

# Episode 79 Anger Management

**Speaker 0:** Maybe you are lonely. Maybe you are lonely and just haven't realized that I'm lonely too.

**Speaker 1:** Good and Torero, Craig Cassidy from Mungen. Is that how you say it? Yeah. I think so. Good and dark, everyone. Craig's just had three sausages in his mouth and a couple of jugs. We've been sitting in a beer hall eating sausages, drinking beer. Training is finished. We're in Munich. We're walking down the street. We're just about to start some dirty gutter game, because we've only got this evening here. So if if Craig runs off, he's not going for more sausages. He's go for some schnitzel. Keep focused, Craig. Keep focused. And if I run off, we'll stick that in the podcast. Right. The topic of today is controlling your anger. Something that is not spoken about a lot with daygamers, the reality of the grind, the reality of getting blown out, bad days as well as good days, and you get angry. Now you can suppress the anger like British people and German people and then you get passive aggressive. I've been guilty of that in the past. Students I've taught, you can feel a bit of, you know, anger. Guys on the Internet who are keyboard pickup artists get angry for a different reason. We'll talk about that. You get angry when girls flake. You get angry when girls are shit testing you on the street, on dates. You get angry with blue balls. Game is an emotional roller coaster and you get amazing highs. And what is not spoken about a lot is that you get pretty big lows, but the payoffs are fucking good. Anyway, Craig, you have been you've experienced these joys of the roller coaster and you said in the in the past you were a lot more angry with, like, bad days and flakes and blue balls and stuff.

**Speaker 2:** I think, yeah. Back in the day, I was an angry person in general, so that kind of spilled out into all areas of my life, not just game. But certainly when you're you're doing game, daygame, I'm getting eye wise here, guys. Yeah. You you you react. That's what it is. Yeah. You react whether it's a girl that doesn't stop and you're like, oh, for fuck's sake, or she stops and doesn't accept a compliment, or she doesn't give you the number, or she flakes, so she comes out but doesn't come back to yours. These are all points in Yep. A game where yeah. If you do if you have a lack of emotional control, yeah. You'll you'll be pissed off. And I think through doing game, you have to learn how to control your to control your emotional state, really.

**Speaker 1:** Game is both the cause of it and the answer, really, I'd say. In the beginning, what it really is is you losing the frame, isn't it? Yes. Because the first one to react loses. That's the general principle of game and life. And through doing game, as you've just said in the bar, it's called game for a reason. Yep. I did a video once on it being like a computer game, and you walk around. And the more you do daygame, the more you realize like, yeah, That was a funny blowout like the one you had today. You just like, that was fucking rude. Yeah. It's it's it's like, a slap in the face. It stings for a second. I, Yeah. You just gotta laugh it off. You go, okay. No girl. Then you go, you recognize maybe girls, which You is know, yes girls. You see it as a video game. You see it as a we just saw our student there. Did very well. Shout out to the students today. Yes. So game is both the solution. The more cold approach per cup to do you have and the more volume you have and the more abundance you have, the more you calm down. That's the cornerstone of game mostly. But let's talk about that 18 year old in Poland where girls test your patience or test your frame. And actually, complete non reactivity is not the answer. It's not the answer for a parent or a teacher or somebody seducing. So you waited and then you used the kind of built up anger to an advantage. Do you wanna like summarize the gloriously hot, 18 year old girl?

**Speaker 2:** Yeah. So this this girl was a girl that I'd met on a previous trip to Poland, 18 years old. I met her in a park. It's a quick interaction, but, she came out on the date, the first date. Didn't say too much, very shy, and I thought that was that. I'd never see her again. Then I was back in England for a little bit, went back to Poland, and she came out on the second date. This time, the second date was in the apartment actually, which was a surprise, but she rejected pretty much every escalation attempt, which is fine. I stayed non reactive. Then she came around for date number three. Again, she didn't give me much, but I got a bit further. We got the make out this time. But she, you know, I could tell she was playing playing games. It wasn't straightforward, not like a an English girl or a German girl where maybe one, two dates, you should be able to get it done. But she kept coming around, interested. So I knew I couldn't react. Otherwise, I'd run the risk of completely losing it. Date number four, again, she came over this time. We'd already already made it on day three. Again, she was really rejecting my escalation in a way that it wasn't, a hard no because you've spoken about hard nos before. So I knew it wasn't she wasn't It wasn't a total bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She wasn't really saying no. She was she was playing games. Yep. Like, she wouldn't come around to the the apartment three times in a row if she, you know, put herself in a position where sex could happen if she wasn't interested. But after the fourth date, I was starting to get a bit annoyed. And so I used the first bit of anger to say, look, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore because you're playing games. I like you man to woman. Royal flush. Royal flush. Yeah. So Tom's spoken about this many times. The royal flush and, so I I kind of cut it off there, but it was my last day in the city. She, texted to see if I wanted to meet. I just told her to come straight to the flat. She came in and again it was it was a battle. It was from the sofa, we'd gone to the bedroom this time and it was makeups on the bed. It was wandering hands. She's accepting it and then, nope, gets up, leaves. And this happened three times and then I finally lost it and I said look, just leave. You're playing games, just get out. And I went and sat in the window still. I was texting. She went to the bathroom and then she come out of the bathroom. I expected her to, you know, to leave, but she shuffled over, head head down, give me a hug. I asked her what she wanted, she said you, and so back in the bedroom, and this time it was it was delay. So Yeah. Yeah.

**Speaker 1:** So it's a blast of angus, controlled controlled anger if you like. It's call I said it wasn't, you know, it wasn't Wasn't losing it at the first shit test on the first day. And it wasn't screaming and shouting. It it was just, look, leaf. Yeah. I think last podcast, I said the boomerang, which is kind of like that royal flush. High risk, high reward, but like a good teacher, like a good parent, that's the only way to stop these games. So that's controlled anger. Alright. Well, let's wind it back. And we've had students like this where, you're getting angry on the street, you're angry halfway through a day game session, you've had five blow outs in London in a row. What are some ways to stop you getting into a nose dive like a tailspin of anger and going, oh, fuck this and just going home? That's a that's a good question. It's a

**Speaker 2:** for newbies, it's a it's a hard one to answer because I think a, experience counts for a lot. So I know after a run of blowouts, if I stay out, if I keep going, then eventually I'll get one good interaction, which which lifts the set lifts my mood. Sorry. But that's you can't really say that to a to a new guy. Just keep going. For me, treating it like a game helps. There's the old cheesy saying, like each no is brings you closer to a yes. Taking a taking a break. Taking a break. Yep. Going and grabbing a coffee. If you're feeling really heavy and you're running in and you feel your vibe is really bad, there's no point just going, have half an hour an hour in a coffee shop and just relax, chill out. It's it's often blood sugar, isn't it?

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. Make You think it's Vibe, but it's blood sugar.

**Speaker 2:** Yeah. If you're walking around for hours and then make sure you're hydrated, make sure you've eaten enough. Yeah. Crashing blood sugar causes you to to really drop.

**Speaker 1:** And not I say, not going home with this feeling. One of my little secrets is to finish on a high or finish with a number or finish with something positive. Because if you go home with angry feeling, you'll say, fuck this daygame. And you'll go out the next day and that angry feeling will get worse. So finishing on a positive, even if it's just a fun interaction, you know, and she's married and whatever, you don't get the clothes, but it's a good interaction. So we did that today with the students. Make sure you finish on a high, positive reference experience. Some guys do the holistic thing of, like, stopping and breathing, remembering that this is meant to be fun. Daygame is talking to girls is fun, like feeling the feet on the ground, deep breaths, all that stuff. I personally don't do that. I just keep going until I get a positive. And we know that in some of the worst daygame days I've ever had, I say, fuck this shit. Come on, Tom. Keep going. And then what do you know? I had one in Toronto, actually, a bad day. And then I went to sit in a cafe and thought, just take five minutes, Tom. Had a coffee and in front of me was a girl. And I went, here we go. Opened her and it turned out to be a nice bounce to a park and a failed same day lay, but it was a really good two, three hour attempt and it was a really good reference experience. So from experience, you know, okay, anger is part of it. As you said, don't suppress it. Suppressed anger is very dangerous. But be very careful. You're not losing the frame. You're not losing control. I've spoken about shit tests many times. Shit tests are frame tests. They're completely normal. They're healthy. They're actually good. The girl's interested in you. She's testing your your reliability to lead. If she's gonna vanquish control, she needs to test whether, you know, you've got your shit together. So enjoy frame tests. Expect them. Be ready for them. You know, how old are you? Do you do this all the time? Why are you single? Is this game? What do you want from me? These are all classic shit tests. You shouldn't be getting angry with this. But as you said, after two or three dates, then you need to start thinking, okay. Is this progressing? Is she a princess? Am I getting played here actually by a professional girl who's really good at game? Like, what does she want? Often in Kiev, I was like, hang on a minute. Am I hustling or is she hustling? And yeah. Okay. Walk away if she's a hustler. Or like you said, she's progressing. Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait. And then bang like a teacher. Bang.

**Speaker 2:** Listen to the podcast I've done before. A high value guy would do. Yeah. You you might put up with it for a few a few times, but eventually, you'll put your foot down. A teacher won't put up with you being a a naughty bastard at school.

**Speaker 1:** So you shouldn't put up with that kind of behavior as well. Do you remember the teachers were always really calm and then suddenly it was like bang and you respected them because they weren't dicks all the time, they weren't losing it. Yeah. We spotted a daygamer. Good. Got a game that's going That's a daygamer. Where are looking? Go on. Go for the smoker. And I'll talk about okay. Getting angry with game. Getting angry with quote unquote the red pill. Swallowing the red pill, the bitter taste of the red pill. I've spoken about this before. Where if you start reading about biology and game and how women really behave in terms of dating and mating, and you take no action, but you just read theory and you watch videos and you listen to podcasts and you get online and you're on forums and you're writing comments. It's very normal for the side effect to be anger, depression, cynicism, the bitterness, ir

**Speaker 0:** And

**Speaker 1:** have

**Speaker 0:** you own.

**Speaker 1:** Sluts. Page. This And is going on. They're cheating. And this is why I say stay away from forums and stay away from mental masturbation, guys on keyboards moaning about about women, moaning about players, moaning about the game. Because this will take you not only into a downward spiral, but I've seen guys that never come out. It's like you go darker and darker and darker, and they see life like, you know, God is dead. It's like discovering, you know, evolution after being very religious. It can make you extremely depressed or you can think, well, fuck this. I'm gonna make my own meaning. Life is beautiful. You can see it as a positive. So I see these truths as a positive because I take advantage of them. I don't blame women for it. I say this is the true nature of women, and I'm gonna take advantage of this, and enjoy enjoy being the lover, not the provider. But, I'm just talking about angry guys on the internet. Yes. And you've read lots of red pill stuff, but can you see why guys get really angry? One a guy in Toronto actually asked me this. He had read so much material that he was so angry that when he approached girls, they could tell he had this like hatred of women. We and you've met many guys that are like steaming, you know? Yeah. Well, I used to be on some

**Speaker 2:** of the big forums, and you could see people, you could tell the people that were out doing game and the people that were just keyboard jockeys because these people would be the ones that they know the problem, they know the solution, but they're not taking action. And so they get in this perpetual cycle of they're stuck in the middle. They're not they're not getting they're not better off from where they perceived themselves to be at the start, and they're not moving towards,

**Speaker 1:** where they want to be. So you you become bitter. Yeah. She said you only call her a slut if she didn't sleep with you because you're like oh she was such a slut you know like she slept with all those other guys just not me you wouldn't have called her a slut if she slept with you you would have written a lay report about it so yeah, the short answer is less forums. I would say log off forums. The real job of a forum is to find a wing, learn the basics, which you can now do off YouTube. Log off forums. There's a lot of what did you call it like dick

**Speaker 2:** dick waving, dick measuring. Oh, dick they're like dick measuring on Twitter as well. Like just people Yeah. Like what the one upmanship and stuff, and that doesn't really benefit anyone. I mean,

**Speaker 1:** it's just not helping you. It's Back to school, isn't it? Like, I call them paper tigers. Yeah. Whereas you get out there, daygame is a walk, daygame is a meditation, daygame is good for anger management and breathing. And if you're finishing with a number or a positive experience, that's good. If you're going on lots of dates and sleeping with lots of women, you realize, wow, I love this red pill stuff. It's amazing that there's lovers and providers. It's amazing that girls do all these things. Whereas, sure, if you've gone through a divorce and you've, you know, you've lost money, you've lost kids, can understand why that makes you angry. But you've got two solutions. I always say, you can be the victim, and you can sit there, and you can moan, and you can moan as much as you want, or you can say fuck it. Right? Let's let's use this anger as fuel and that's the message of this podcast really. You can it can be a destructive force or it can be really, really good because anger and competitive feelings as well. They push me to do stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know I mean? Like, haters I got you know, you've seen some of my weird emails. I could either sit there and go, oh my god. All these guys, this is terrible. Or you can just say, fuck it. Onwards, you know? So she it's a choice, man. And that sounds like a Tony Robbins quote, but it's a choice. And we are strolling around. It's time for some gutter game because tomorrow we are leaving Munich. We've been in Cologne. Today, in Munich. You're off to soon you're off to where you go? Riga?

**Speaker 2:** Then you're going to Barcelona? Yeah. Riga for I'm going to see a girl that I met there last time I was there and to hopefully close a few leads. And then I'm teaching a residential in Barcelona in November.

**Speaker 1:** You're Are you in London for some of November? That's what the guys were asking. Yeah. Yeah. So I will be back in London

**Speaker 2:** for the final three weeks of November before we jet off to Vegas. Vegas, baby. Swingers.

**Speaker 1:** The reality of swingers or the hangover come true. And then, this is important because guys keep nagging me about Australia. I'm I have to say, in all transparency and honesty, I'm not a fan of Australia even though it's like a hub for daygame. I'm not a fan of Sydney. I'm not a fan of Australia just because it the beach thing is not for me and but you lived Australia, didn't you? And you love Australia and you're going back to Australia in January?

**Speaker 2:** After Vegas, really. End of December over Christmas, New Year's, and early January. I should be in Sydney for a little bit before I head off to New Zealand to do some kind of adventure stuff. So if there's guys in Sydney that wanna do some coaching, get in touch.

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. There is a big community in Sydney. Still unexplainable really because it's such a small daygame area. The Pit Pit Street. But if guys are emailing me asking me about when am I coming to Sydney, the answer is I'm not, sadly. There you go. I might be in New Zealand, but not Sydney. But you are, and Craig's a fan, you got mates there, and you enjoy it. Daygame there. I've got success there. I know the the vibe. I know this, you know, the daygame hotspots and the kind of

**Speaker 2:** So when's that end of December, January? Yeah. So after Vegas, mid mid to late December over Christmas, New Year's, and early January should be there. So Alright. Well, email me,

**Speaker 1:** Tom at Tom Torero dot com. If you want to meet Craig in Australia or you are in London, the last I'm not doing any more coaching now, but the London with you is the last three weeks of November. Last three weeks of November. Yeah. Alrighty, man. Sorry. Excuse me. Do you speak English? I do. I do. I have to say something to you. What? You look very nice because you're so like dreamy and I thought you were just gonna walk into the road and be killed by a car. Yeah, probably. I said maybe she's really tired or she's done lots of yoga

**Speaker 0:** lots of drive or

**Speaker 1:** you're just naturally zen. Are you, I'm guessing you're a student?

**Speaker 0:** I am.

**Speaker 1:** With an American accent? Unfortunately.

**Speaker 0:** You need a nice British accent. Know, I know. But I need to go to Britain for that.

**Speaker 1:** Or you need to watch a lot of James Bond?

**Speaker 0:** Yeah and Sherlock. Sherlock

**Speaker 1:** or Harry Potter? You love him or do you love the whole Both. Girls always say, oh, I love Sherlock. No. No. No. I love the Don't stand in the room. You love the series. And have you ever visited my country?

**Speaker 0:** I have relatives came to me. And what do you think? I like it. I like it. I really do. I wish I could go to Morocco for study there but it's quite expensive.

**Speaker 1:** You're so American, you're really American. I know, I know. That's crazy but it's a Californian like

**Speaker 0:** Yeah yeah but I've never like I've never been to America longer than three weeks. You've really adopted the Yeah. Yeah. Have. I got a lot of movies.

**Speaker 1:** I need to feed you some British movies, you know, elocution. The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane. You have to say that every morning the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane because it's long vowels it's very British tomato not tomato tomato

**Speaker 0:** hello like in American you always sound very superficial superficial and very A bit too happy.

**Speaker 1:** Bit too That's true. Bit too inauthentic.

**Speaker 0:** There's yes. Nothing harsh about American times. And you? You're a Bavarian? I am. I am. I've I've I've been born in Munich.

**Speaker 1:** Yep. I I to be honest, I noticed the socks and the Doctor. Martens. Is that a very Bavarian thing or no? No. It's it's just cute. It's like, wow. This is, it's cold and she's not sacrificing. And you're a student? I am. Studying? Yes. What based on

**Speaker 0:** based on Based on looks.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. This could go horribly wrong.

**Speaker 0:** I'd say politics. No. No. But one could say it's quite close. It's, philosophy usually.

**Speaker 1:** Oh, that's not really close It to depends

**Speaker 0:** on what kind of, yeah philosophy but normally

**Speaker 1:** not. When I was at university I was always jealous of the philosophy students. Why? Because I was a science student so you know I was working hard in the laboratory doing my data and the philosophy students would meet in their room and drink tea and eat toast and just discuss big questions about life. You have to read a lot. You have to read very very much and like work

**Speaker 0:** a lot through ideas

**Speaker 1:** And always carry books. Always carry books. Always look like you're working. That's the trick. Yeah.

**Speaker 0:** No. I I really like it. I didn't choose it because it's the best path of my career, which is nothing because as a philosopher, you can do practically nothing. I don't really know what philosophies are. I read Sophie's Worlds and that's so clever. They can go into journalism. They can Oh, don't be a journalist. Don't sell yourself. I really don't Well, wanna go

**Speaker 1:** you could move to London and

**Speaker 0:** I'd love to. But it's so kind of expensive.

**Speaker 1:** You might become a really wealthy woman, you know?

**Speaker 0:** That's philosophy.

**Speaker 1:** No. It's your plan b. Your plan b is what? Writing? What are you? A dancer? Musician?

**Speaker 0:** Could do a lot of things that's a problem there are so many things I would be interested in yeah but you do there's a passion like everyone just has one passion anyway this is very deep

**Speaker 1:** yeah unlike a psychotherapist

**Speaker 0:** I could have studied psychology. That's a bit more interesting. Or like medicine. No. No. My parents are doctors. Oh, wow. Stay away. Like my whole family are doctors.

**Speaker 1:** Oh, gosh. Business name. Oh no no no no. It would have destroyed your dreamy vibe. I like your dreamy vibe. What's your name? Leah. Leah. Tom. Very English.

**Speaker 0:** Thomas. Thomas is German. Thomas. Yeah. It's not so common.

**Speaker 1:** Tom and Jerry? Tom Cruise?

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. Like in the German. Princess Leia. Leah or Leah, but without the h. So l e a.

**Speaker 1:** I just think of king Leah obviously. Leah. I don't know it's an English word as well English name.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah, but with an h at the end.

**Speaker 1:** Leah. I don't know any Leahs.

**Speaker 0:** I do actually. I do even have British Leahs.

**Speaker 1:** Okay. Well, it's like a Lia club. Yeah. They're like a big underground society. They're like a little cult. Well, listen, Lia. I was gonna have a little coffee if you want ten ten minutes. Yeah. I'm actually meeting with a friend for the cinema a couple of minutes. So sensible, but maybe after the cinema. If you're not if you're not Today won't be involved. Leah, don't be an old lady. No. It's true. It's true. It's true. Another time or later, but just say I'll send well I'll send you a message and if you want to come come. Okay. If you don't want to come don't come. Fair? Have you decided on what film you'll see? Inferno.

**Speaker 0:** Which is only because there were no French films.

**Speaker 1:** Oh, no. You are like an art house girl. Yeah. A

**Speaker 0:** lot of French French original versions.

**Speaker 1:** You're ticking off all my bohemian things here. Philosopher. Philosopher. Like French movies. Sexy sexy socks. Le French. Dreamy. It's attractive. That's why I used to be really attracted to French girls. Yeah.

**Speaker 0:** Well, honestly didn't like the French license. I love the language, I love the feeling. Well,

**Speaker 1:** know what? Eventually I found a beautiful French girl and I dated her and she was cool but Did she speak English? Because most French people don't like to speak English, she was Parisian. They just don't learn English at school. Well, no they do but they they refuse to speak it.

**Speaker 0:** Depends, depends. I got a lot of French friends who just say they

**Speaker 1:** pretending

**Speaker 0:** Parisians, But they're they're you I love

**Speaker 1:** But as you said she was attractive but the kind of Parisian high society bourgeois was not for me so enough French cinema okay hang on I need a plus this is an English So what is it the cinema and then you're studying?

**Speaker 0:** No no no not studying. The cinema and Venebar and then we're going home again.

**Speaker 1:** Why are you going home? You're a student.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah, it's true. It's true. With no h? With no h. That's right. Okay.

**Speaker 1:** Do you remember my name? Tom. That's as good. I'm good at remembering things. I'm bad with names but very good with, very good with faces. Yeah. Alright.

**Speaker 0:** Beautiful. Leah, enjoy the cinema. Yeah. Thanks. Enjoy your day. Whatever you're doing. The day is finished, Leah. The day is finished.

**Speaker 1:** Enjoy nothing. Well, tomorrow I go to London. So I'm out tonight with my some German friends, and then I'm coming back to Munich too. What are you doing in Germany? I'm a spy. I'm a spy looking for lazy philosophers.

**Speaker 0:** Oh, Yeah. That's evident.

**Speaker 1:** Finally, I found one. Yeah. It's probably very hard to get. It's tough. It's a tough term. Yeah. Anyway, it was very nice. Thank you. You're very cute. See you you soon.