---
title: Episode 8 Mailbag Q&A
episode_number: 8
era: early
source_file: Episode 8 Mailbag Q&A.mp3
audio_size_mb: 88.7
duration_sec: 2907.6
duration_min: 48.5
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.999
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:21:55Z---

# Episode 8 Mailbag Q&A

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero, podcast number eight. Hello from Wales in The UK. I'm back just for a few weeks. It's wet. It's windy, but it's nice to be back. I'm still a bit croaky from the joys of traveling and airports and time zones. But it's lovely to be home with my family having a cup of tea, staring at my garden, and happy that I've just come back from London where I filmed a new product, my next product with the one and only Rami the Great. The product is called Urban Warrior Within, and it's all about fear, limiting beliefs, and anxiety, not from a theoretical point of view, but from how to go out and do drills to face these demons and use this stuff as fuel. So it's in the can. It's just the editing to go. I reckon it's gonna take me about a month to two months to get that done, but it's fantastic. So thank you to everybody who helped with that. Paul, our volunteer student from Scotland, he came down for that. The cameramen were big John. Thank you, John. And Andre, great guys. They helped out with Rami and myself. Alright. Something different for this podcast. Rather than me just ranting on or choosing a topic myself, last night on Facebook, on my Tom Torero Facebook, I opened the floor for questions, and I thought I'd get a few. But I woke up this morning, and I've got 34 questions to go through. And I thought, well, I could answer just a few of them. Pick the best ones if you like. But, no, I'm gonna go through all 34. A lot of them repeat themselves, so we'll skim over some. Some of them are funny. Some of them are bizarre. Some of them are very in-depth. A lot of them, I have to say, I have answered many times in written form or on different podcasts or YouTube videos. The best place for summaries of all these questions is my first book really, which is daygame, and my second book, Torero Travels. Daygame's got all the technical stuff about how daygame works, how I got into it, my backstory, all the little techniques and drills and things you can do. It's pretty techy, and they're interwoven with the lay reports. The Torero travels one is more about different countries and how girls compare, how you can take him abroad, passive income, remote working, etcetera. But we shall dive in, and let's start with the first question from a guy called Alan. And he said, how did I start coaching? And when did I realize that I had enough knowledge to do it? Well, Alan, I've done a podcast on this about how to become a day game coach. And I've just told my story in the video I put up yesterday called daygamers therapy. But essentially, I never wanted to be a daygame coach. I was a primary school teacher, and I only started coaching when guys approached me. It was never something I set out to do, and I did it for free at first. So I'd advise you to do that, approach coaching, teaching your friends, and slowly, I started to charge, I think, tenner. And I would only really teach this professionally if you've got between, I always say, twelve and twenty four daygame lays under your belt literally. So you've completed the process from start to finish. And therefore, you're you're qualified to tell other guys how to do it. So make sure you've got that experience. But don't focus on being a coach just yet. Focus on acquiring that daygame skill set. Yeah? But cheers, Alan. The second question is from Andrew, and he wants me to interview my buddy, Anthony. Anthony features a lot in the first book, daygame, because he's my most influential wing, if you like. He wasn't my first wing, but he was the guy who taught me how to be sexual, how to escalate, how to do bar stuff, how to do night stuff, how to do entourage stuff with Baxter. He's a bit of a natural from his early reference points with hot girls at school. But now sadly, Andrew, Anthony is a trader in the city in London, and he really has nothing to do with daygame, game, or the community. He's really busy, 8AM to 10PM with his work. He still goes out, and I know he seduces women. I've been trying for ages to get an interview with him. If I succeed, you'll be the first to know about it. But Anthony's story is in my first book, Daygame. Alright. Savi. Question number three. He asks a really good question, and he says, what's your opinion of the current state of game? Where do you think it is, and what do you see its progression? Or where do you see its progression? Sorry. And who do you think is paving the way for the best progression of game? I'm biased. Good point, Savi. Well, game is game as I always say. Seduction is seduction. It's hardwired. It's never changed since humans have been copulating. So it's not really gone anywhere. The teaching of it and the publicity of it and the popularity of it has obviously changed. And you might have noticed in the last few years, certainly, the backlash against the pickup and guys talking about natural game and being themselves and kind of bashing the pickup scene and and the game scene, but there's been a reaction to that gladly recently where people are acknowledging what game principles are. It's come full circle. People are realizing where it came from. I always like to talk about where game principles came from first of all or when they were at least written down by people like Mystery. So it's really important not to try and deny game as a kind of a marketing trick to say, you don't need any of that. Just come on my course because I'll be natural. When in fact, as we know, all the same stuff is still being taught. So I would say it's in a very healthy place at the moment because we've moved beyond techniques and drills, but they're still very, very important for a beginner. So don't underestimate the importance of having something to say, knowing what you're doing, knowing where you are, knowing at which stage of the sequence you're in. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what all beginners do. We say get the skill through structure and then get the mastery through abandoning the structure. But that takes at least three, four, five years. So don't feel guilty about learning core game principles. But guys are putting this into a wider context of lifestyle and travel and health, and that's all good. But still don't forget where game came from. And who is who am I enjoying, you could say? Who's progressing the game nicely? Well, up there, as everybody knows, is always RSD, Real Social Dynamics, because they've progressed as the the game community has progressed in the last ten, fifteen years. And Tyler Owen is obviously the spokesperson, the charismatic leader of that, and he's fantastic. I love his energy. I love his passion. I love his skill. I love the way they prove stuff with video in fields. It's a bit flashy. Yep. It's in the night. Yep. The girls are drunk. Yep. It's same day lays. You can fire lots of criticism at them, and the the only one I do is about them for a while turning against the roots of pickup and calling their game natural. When if you actually look at what RSD, it's it's it's very technical and it's very classic game. But you can't deny the skill of their instructors. Of course, Tyler, he's very eloquent, and I love his rants, and I love his philosophies. But I'd advise you to go and see their infield stuff, not just the clips, but go and see it. People who are underestimated like Todd, very slick, very minimal, very charming, very effortless, not flashy and jackass and alpha, but very gentleman like. I love Todd. But any RSD event is very well thought out, technical, and solid, very solid game. In Britain, I've just had a look at a few of the new videos by the guys at Street Attraction, especially Rich, Richard from Street Attraction. That's really nice day game skill building on the London daygame model, which I've been publicizing. But they're pushing the boat like the RSD guys, so things are becoming faster. Things are becoming more sexual. Things are I'm happy about moving from, like, just boyfriend nice guy game to lover game, and you can do it in the day. Another guy, a few of his videos I like, he's called Willie Beck. I think he's from Canada. He reminds me of my good buddy, Dave Diggler, where you're taking daygame and you're just doing it in lover mode. You're pushing it hard. For for balance and for calmness, check out someone like James Marshall. He's very zen and calm. And even Steve Jabber who combines a bit of both, really. The love of game and daygame, but with with calm underlying masculine lifestyle principles. So there's just a few of the guys that I enjoy. I'm sure there's a lot more, and I'm sure it will get a lot more sexual in the next few years, a lot more raw, stripping away a lot of the the fluff that you don't need from the model. That was my aim with Badass Buddha, to get rid of the the nice guy boyfriend slow stuff and just leave the essential elements. So if you wanna know about how the models changed from the old London daygame model to the new one, check out Badass Buddha. Alright. Roosh asks three questions, the cheeky bastard, because three is the magic number, as my grandmother used to say. He says, do you keep long gaming cool girls you already hooked up with because you might find their personalities refreshing? And if so, have you gotten into many relationships? Well, you don't really need to game a girl who you've already slept with because you've completed the sequence, but you do need to keep her on the radar. You do need to keep spinning the plates. You do need to keep teasing her, get her chasing you just subtly, just quietly. And I do that with girls I like through Skype calls usually. After I've slept with the girl, I'll just chat to her on Skype or Skype video and do other things on Skype video. And then, yeah, last year, I was seeing two or three regular girls. This year, I've only had one girl that I'm seeing. And they are many relationships, but they are defined in that I tell her my job and that I tell her that I'm traveling and that I tell her that I'm not looking for a girlfriend and that I'm a bad boyfriend. So watch my talk on lover provider where I talk about how you can have these open relationships. They usually disintegrate at the end because she will look for a boyfriend largely. But I'm happy with that. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'm not looking for quote, unquote love. So, yeah, if you like him, keep him around because it's not just about sex. It's about doing all the other cool stuff as well. And your third question, what's been the biggest challenge in starting the company? It was actually just starting. Like most things in life, Roosh, the hardest thing is to start. And I remember thinking, fuck. I don't wanna step off the cliff because what happens if I don't have enough followers or I can't drum up business or I'm gonna be too lazy? Well, as soon as I've made the leap of faith, everything worked out actually better. So I'm in a better place, you could say financially and with freedom and time and travel than I was last year. So it's been an amazing year for my company and the evolution of what I've had to teach myself to do, but the hardest bit is to start. Okay. Let's look at the next one. Jacques Jack Tee. That's a cool name. Have you ever encountered any struggles during your life, and how have you overcome them? No. I've always had a fantastic, happy, perfect life, Jacques. Thank you very much. Now I've just put a video out yesterday on my backstory, Tom Torero's story, and I go through why I had my fears and anxieties and depression and stress and limiting beliefs. I had loads of struggles, and that's the secret of success really. Not to sit there as the victim of your own fate, but to use those struggles as fuel for your fire. But check out the video. It's it's a long one. It's on my YouTube channel from yesterday. Daniel says he's doing his first approaches, and he's being too confrontational, a bit too intense. Usually, the girl ejects from the interaction. So what I do is start walking with her and say what I have to say and do the stop again, go for the number, blah blah blah blah, chasing after her. Am I pushing it too much? Yes, you are, Daniel. When you are just doing your first few approaches, you should focus on having fun, being light, being playful, standing still, nice and solid, and never following her, never moving off. It's a very needy sign. And the typical thing that beginners don't do, they don't smile. They don't tease. They don't enjoy it. So if you do an approach and remember the girl is the mirror and she looks at you like, what the fuck? Or she looks at you like you're creepy or you're weird or she's scared. The beautiful thing about daygame is just let her go. Say to yourself, okay. Girl is your mirror. I know what to do. And then go into the next one with a big smile. For a beginner, it's really essential, a, to just get over the fear, and b, to smile and learn to tease rather than being all serious and logical. Alright. Marcus asks, good ways to deal with harsh rejections when the mood or state is crushed and you feel like rubbish. That's the point where many people have problems but nobody speaks about it. A lot of people say don't take it personally, but how can I manage this? Good question. State control, that is Marcus. Yeah? And it's hard in the beginning because the state fluctuations are bigger. You'll never get perfect daygame days or weeks or months where you've got perfect state. That's just another marketing myth. I have good days and bad days, good hours and bad hours. A harsh rejection is dealt with by having a wing next to you where you just laugh it off. A harsh rejection is dealt with by reframing it immediately. So when you come out of the interaction, you say, well, I succeeded because I approached and I told her what I wanted, and I'm just turning over stones. I'm just filtering. That was funny. She was a no girl. That was funny. Her boyfriend just arrived. At the end of the day, writing down all the good things that happened, that's a classic positivity trick where you say, okay. I did 10 approaches. Six of them smiled. I got one Facebook. I did a really hard one in a shop. So you're focusing. You're shining the light on the positive things rather than the negative things. And as time goes on, you'll become desensitized. That's the main point, Marcus. So rejections do sting at the beginning. But remember, they're good because they make you stronger. The girl is your mirror. She will correct things about you. And there's more no's in this game than yes's. Have a listen to my video where I talk about the the realities, the truths that you can expect beyond the marketing myths. Alright. Martinez. Martinez. Yes. He says, what is your way of dealing with all the controversies that people associate this lifestyle with? Being creepy, taking advantage of women, and all that crap. Okay. This answer is counterintuitive. Alright. It's a bit like when girls find out what I do or they read my first book daygame and they freak out. Now do you think that would make them more attracted to me or less attracted? Well, logically, when a woman calls you a player, a bastard, an idiot, a jerk, a bad boy, the nice guy, the white knight society goes, well, you gotta change. You gotta become a good boy. You gotta play by the rules. But we know secretly and weirdly, it's an aphrodisiac. Women love the jerk, the bad boy, the asshole, the player. So I'm sure after Paul Junker was on that idiot interview you referenced, the doctor Phil show, His lay count went up massively with girls calling him an idiot, a bastard, a player, and then jumping into bed with him. So embrace it. You can't be half a gangster. Alright? And it's a classic white knight fallacy to think you can do daygame, but you can do it as a white knight. That's where the natural game movement comes from. They're guys that don't really wanna embrace the pickup scene. They don't wanna call themselves pickup artist or players. They don't wanna admit they like sex. They don't wanna admit they're men, and they wanna kind of make it woolly self development and life coaching to hide the fact that they really wanna fuck girls. I never hid it. I told my family. I told people I worked with. My mom has read that first book and the second book. And I always say, let your actions do the talking for you. So when people saw that I was earning money from it, that I was happier, that I was healthier, that I was traveling, that I had all these cute hot girlfriends, people soon stop those criticisms. And guys that are criticizing you, it always comes from a place of jealousy or white knightism when we know as guys would all like to sleep with young hot girls and travel. But a good way to to pretend you don't is to side with team woman and say, you know, it's disgusting, this pickup thing. It's disgusting, this game thing. When all men are horny, we'd all love to do it. So it's best just to admit it. And that's why I wrote the first book, daygame. It's full of very graphic detail, but I just thought, fuck it. You can't be half a gangster. Alright. Next question is from Pavi, and it's followed up by Syad. And I know those two gentlemen. They're very nice daygamers, very dapper, I should say. They're not nice guys. They're suave and they're experienced. They're London daygamers. And they both ask the same question. Does race affect your SMV, your sexual market value? It's a very legit question and a question that's ignored. I know there's a coach in California. I think it he's called Asian Playboy, and he just takes on clients that are Asian. If I'm right, forgive me gentlemen if I'm wrong about this, but Pavi and Sayad are both Indian or something very similar. And so it's a very legitimate question. Does race affect your SMV? Well, in my SMV talk in a show I put out yesterday called sexual economics, I talk about how race is one of the ascribed things as part of SMV. We're born with it, like our looks and our height and our IQ. There's no denying that some girls go for certain races. But the key thing about SMB is that it's relative. So maybe a certain nationality would find your race to be a hindrance, but another nationality of girls would find your race to be a massive help. So, SMV is fluid and you can move it. That's the principle of arbitrage and amplifying SMV by moving to a different marketplace. Yeah? If you don't succeed in one place, well, you might be massively popular in another. It's like a musician who doesn't make it in one country, but is massively popular in another country. And the cool thing about London is that you can experiment with this. I used to think that black girls wouldn't like me. So for a week, I went out and I spoke to black girls and I discovered they really like nerdy white guys hitting on them because it's so rare. So I would suggest for you guys to experiment with different nationalities, you know, Scandinavians, Mediterranean girls, American girls, try Asian girls, try Russian girls, and see where you get the biggest hit rate in terms of numbers to text, to dates, to kisses, to lays, whatever. Sure. You can travel to other places as well. But here's the second biggest message. Here's the good news. That even though race is part of SMV, like height or looks, Thank God, as well as the ascribed stuff and the external stuff that you can get, which is the money and the status. We've got all those behavioral things that we can fine tune and amplify. And that's what I rely on. Charisma, charm, social intelligence, wits, leading, escalating, dominating. They're all massively attractive and they amplify your SMB to get you laid. So I'm not a good looking guy, but I use other SMB things. There you go. David Ride Ant. He says, do you think your current lifestyle is sustainable long term or do you see yourself heading in a different direction? I get this question a lot. Guys email me and say, dear Tom, are you gonna settle down? Are you gonna stop being a player? Are you going to, you know, do something more normal? And again, I slightly think that's coming from the white knight mindset of a subtle criticism, if you like. I'm not saying David is, but it's guys saying, you know, come on, Tom. Play by the rules. Be a bit more normal. Just get one girl and a couple of kids, and then I think it makes that guy feel better about himself. Whereas the truth is I have unplugged. I do believe Casanova was right all those hundreds of years ago. Life really has no wider meaning and that you have to create your own meaning. You have to create your own happiness. And mine is traveling. Mine is adventure. Mine is, of course, young hot girls. Mine is now making films and writing books and teaching guys this stuff. It's my passion. It's my flow. So I'd be silly to just take up windsurfing now or stop doing what I'm doing. Who knows? That's not to say I might settle somewhere for a little bit or find a partner for a little bit or take up a new hobby to find flow. But right now, I cannot complain. I love what I'm doing, And that's the most important thing in life. Yeah? To love what you're doing, to be passionate about what you're doing. Okay. Narsej and another guy later, he asks about the lifestyle, the remote working, the traveling, and the daygame. He's searching for a way to generate some passive income. What do you suggest? He says, I'd like to hear more about your version of the Tim Ferriss four hour workweek. Well, first of all, to anyone who's not read the tip four hour workweek by Tim Ferriss, read it. It's a bit outdated, and it doesn't talk about daygame, but it's very good for talking about remote working and passive income. You just need to Google passive income sources or remote working. There's tons of stuff, obviously, on Internet marketing. So working from your laptop, buying and selling stuff, becoming a trader, becoming a poker player online, teaching English online. I've got a good friend who does English lessons online all over the world or teaching any language for that matter. I've got a friend who's a graphic designer. Got loads of friends who are bloggers or professional YouTubers, Internet marketers of any sort, writers who do self publishing, or people that have a skill set and they offer consultations via Skype. So there's some really obvious easy examples of remote working and then generating passive income. I'd start with teaching English abroad. That's a very easy one if your English is good enough because you can travel to most countries in the world. Not in loads, but enough to live in some really cool places, especially in Asia. Or you could becoming a diving instructor, a ski guide, a ski rep, a holiday rep. Anything where, yeah, you're not earning loads, but you're traveling and meeting people. You can do couch surfing to stay on people's sofas. You can stay in hostels. Check out hostelworld.com for really cheap beds all over the world. You can do hitching, carpooling. So there's really now no excuse now that the Internet exists. When I started doing this kind of backpacking and nomadic living, there there wasn't the Internet. Quite literally, my first few travel holidays, there was no Internet. So it was all by the lonely planet books from the library. But now there's communities of guys talking about this. So don't be lazy. Look it up. Reread the four hour work week and dive in. Because remember, you don't need the money. You need the money for freedom. And you don't need much money for that, I can tell you. I'm earning a lot less than when I was a primary school teacher, but my lifestyle is incomparably better. Okay. The next question is from Rob, and he says, do you know what IOIASCA is? And have you tried it? Have you thought about it? Yes, Rob. I know a lot about IOIASCA. My good friends, John Matrix and Dave Digler, they've done it a lot of times. Have I tried it? No. Am I gonna do it? No. That's for personal reasons. And as Alan Watts said, if you've heard the message, you can hang up the phone. And I've had other experiences in my life where I know that there's more than what we can consciously see. I know that there's magic and wonder in the universe. Not magic as in pseudoscience, but just glory and mystery. And I feel it in different ways, and I feel flow states and peak experiences in different ways. So I'm not gonna try it. I might do a podcast on that kind of thing another time because it's a big topic. But John Matrix speaks highly of it. Dave Digler speaks highly of it. So, yeah, nothing against it. Think anything that's mind expanding, conscious expanding, that's all cool. Alright. How are doing? Jesus, we got a lot. I'm gonna keep going though because I wanna be fair on all these guys. Federico says, do you think calling out girls on how they're shit testing live is an efficient way of demonstrating value by challenging her? Or does everything have to be covert? Yes. Don't get reactive. Don't call out what she's doing. Don't try to teach her social dynamics. Don't try to say you know about the secret society. It just doesn't work. Everything has to be clever and covert. His next question is, what advice do you give when lost logistics don't work in your favor during a date? Well, sadly, you are in charge of logistics, so you must take the blame because it's your job to set up logistics, whether that's your car or toilets or a park or a beach or her place or your place, you're in charge. So if you fuck up, it's that's your fault, unfortunately. Number three, are sexual spikes always necessary? What kind of solid seductive eye contact kino convey enough intent? If you're a beginner, then you're probably not doing the spikes because you're scared. So, yes, in the beginning. If you're a beginner or an intermediate, you have to do verbal spikes and let her know what you want verbally. When you're really good, you can dial it down to just eye contact and hand holding and whatever. But if you're a beginner, that's just kind of chickening out if you don't wanna say how you feel. A key part of getting into the direct game is saying you have a dick. Alright? The next question. God, he's got a lot cheeky Federico. He says, what's your advice for guys aiming to get a girlfriend? How long should he daygame for before considering settling for one? Classic question I get on email that, you know, Tom, I'm not looking to be a player. I'm looking to get a girlfriend. What guys really have to understand is that you have to start in lover mode and then move into boyfriend mode. You can't do it the other way around. So sleep with girls as quickly as you can and then decide if you wanna date them. Otherwise, you're gonna be a needy, white knight. You're gonna be mister Disney romance. So don't get a girlfriend, I would say, until you've got at least, I don't know, ten daygame lays where you realize you've got the power, you've got the choice, you can choose girls, and that, yes, you might be cool, but there's another cooler girl just around the corner. So special girls will rise to the surface naturally. But I can tell you out of I've slept with over 200 girls now and there's been four or five special girls out of that 200. So you need to do a lot of mining before you find gold. Okay? Don't just settle. That's a horrible word, settle. Why would anybody wanna settle? Okay. Albert asks the same question about unplugging and traveling. You're in your mid twenties, Albert. So I would say, go and teach English or save up a fuck it fund, which just means enough money for a euro pass or hostels, hitch, busk on the street, work in a bar, do fruit picking, whatever. But start to travel and travel will answer a lot of questions anyway. As you're traveling, can save money by living in Asia and building an online presence. Alright? Jonathan says, how do you keep your social abilities in level with women while in a relationship? Well, that's just the muscle of sociability, Jonathan, and that is flirting with girls and guys. Okay. I tease girls and guys in coffee shops when I'm in a Lyft, when I'm in an airport, when I'm sitting next to somebody on a train. Just keep that spiking ability up. With women, you can practice the the deep eye contact. You can practice the cheeky storytelling. You can maintain your level of storytelling by improvising, doing some stand up, doing some toast mastering, or just telling stories down the pub. Yeah? You wanna keep that social muscle up and never just locked into one girl, one apartment, one relationship because that's gonna end in a car crash. Yeah? Alright. Kevin wants more assumptions for guessing her job and teasing her because he says in badass Buddha, I only give three. I have a hard time when the girl looks super normal. Alright, Kevin. A common question again, guys want lines, lines, lines, lines. Nothing wrong with that if you're a beginner, so that's why I wrote my PDF guide or Kindle guide rather through Amazon called how to flirt with gills, where I give over 200 teases. So first of all, I'd get that and learn a few every time you go out. The assumptions are based on saying what you see. The golden daygame rule, say what you see. Okay? The classic one yet is to tease her about her geography. The one in badass Buddha and how to flirt with girls is comparing her to an animal. My biggest frame is just accusing her. Like, you're the father, you're the big brother, and she's a very naughty girl. So the accusing frame is fantastic to improvise around. Or like I say in Badass Putter, her vibe. So she's too dreamy or she's creative or she's on a mission. But I don't want you becoming the robot that happened a few years ago when people were just copying the YouTube structure of those daygame videos. And being lazy, not working that social improvisational muscle, that's the key part of daygame. That's make or break after you've given the compliment to be flirty and fun. And I know it's all very well for me to say, just be flirty and fun. But for a beginner, you need structure. I used to have them on a piece of paper in my back pocket. Three or four teases that I'd use every single time. That's what I mean by natural game being bollocks. Beginners need training wheels and scaffolding, and that's why I wrote the book, How to Flirt with Girls. It's only two pounds or something or three pounds. So it's worth getting that. Hope that answers your question. Okay. Joanne says, would you recommend giving eye contact or saying hi to a girl that flaked or rejected you? I guess you mean in school or uni or college or work, Joanne. Because usually on the street, don't see them again. The answer would be no. Move on. Plenty more fish in the sea. 3,500,000,000 women on the planet. Just move on. Daygame gives you abundance. You need to plate spin. You need the mindset. I am the prize. You shouldn't be chasing any girl ever. Alright. Brick says he's short. He's under five five, and he've he's always wanted to do daygame with the r selected. That's the lover vibe. Do you have any tips on how to evoke this? Okay. You're short. That's the ascribed part of the SMV. That's not gonna change. Yep. You can add the insole or you can wear boots with a Cuban heel. Get you up to beyond five five because height does make a difference aesthetically to your SMV. But you can learn all those great charming day game skills which will make you a badass anyway. The leading, the escalating, the banter, the wit, the social intelligence. Now in terms of the r vibe, that's really what Badass Buddha is all about because you don't wanna focus on the old daygame model of just having conversations, taking it slow, going on lots of dates. Being the bad boy, being the player is what all these new street daygame videos kind of are pushing towards. Like I said in the beginning when I was talking about RSD and Dave Diggler and Steve Jabber and all that, we're talking about how fast you escalate, what clothes you wear, what you promise her, how you treat her, that you're being anti provider, you're not showing off your money, your job, or your car. And the general vibe is you can walk away because you have many options. So you don't really need to say anything. Girls can smell it. Fashion's a big one. You can dress more like a badass. You can spike a lot more. But just by escalating fast, girls get the idea that you are a player. So I'd give that a go to get out of the friend box. Yeah? But there's nothing wrong if you're a beginner going through this stage of learning conversation, learning dating, being a bit nice, and then you can make it a bit more badass. Alright? James Walker gives me a statement rather than a question. I like his conversation ninja skills. James just says kangaroos have three vaginas. Thank you very much, James. I'm just envisaging kangaroo porn being amazing. Maybe you can send me some links. Alright. Social Kenny says, have you ever picked up any black girls? Just curious even for the heck of it. And I touched on that, Kenny, just a few minutes ago. Yes. I have. I think I've slept with three black girls, two from daygame, one from a nightclub. I had the limiting belief that they didn't find me attractive, but they were great in London. There's loads and loads of black girls born in London or from elsewhere, and white guys don't really hit on them because they tend to date other black guys. You don't often see daygamers going for them, so it's great. You know, they're all yours in London. And I'd advise guys to give it a go because those girls were great. They were very nice. One was studying at the London School of Economics. One was a bus driver. That was quite cool. And one of them, I don't know what she did, but I met her in a club on a night out with Baxter. Those stories are in the book. But, yeah, go for it. It's a limiting belief many guys have. Brent asked me about The Mystery Method, and I gave him a link to that. So, yeah, just read The Mystery Method. It's not the same as The Pickup Artist. Read the actual book, The Mystery Method. It's still available on Amazon. Alright. The last few. Ozan says, when a girl gives him an IOI, like a smile or a touch, he gets colder and he stops escalating. Even when the girl says, I'm ready to do anything, his brain freezes. It's like he's avoiding a relationship or intercourse. What the fuck is wrong with me, Tom? He says, okay. That's flames that are later on in the badass Buddha. So the fear of escalating, the fear of the kiss, the fear of pulling home, and then the fear of pulling the trigger. They all stem from fear of rejection. This manifests itself all the way through the seduction process. The only advice is that you have to pull the trigger, perhaps in the beginning not with super hot girls. So find a girl where you don't really feel intimidated and learn to pull the trigger with her. I know one guy that went to Amsterdam to sleep with some hookers. I'm not saying do this, by the way, anybody or Azan, but he slept with some hookers in Amsterdam just so he could do dirty things and realize that girls are not all sweet and girl next door flowery and innocent. He needed to toughen up a little bit sexually, so he did that. And he said the girls were very nice to him. They showed him a lot of dirty stuff. And then his mindset was that, right, girls do like sex. Girls do want me to take control. Good girls are just bad girls that haven't been caught. Know? Sex is normal. Sex is fine. So definitely deal with that root cause by tackling it head on. And that means pushing through the pain and escalating. I know it sounds easy, but do it on a girl you don't really worry about. That's why I always say beginner daygamers, don't be picky. Felix says, r, which is lover versus k, which is provider. Do you think that every guy should try to look and act more r, or are some guys better suited to k? I ask in particular because you and Krauser are the only two daygamers who really talk about this. I don't see other PUAs giving it much importance or even talking about it as a strategy. Am I missing something? Well, you're right. This is the biggest development, Felix, in the last two years where evolution and science has shed light on the seductive process. And what I believe I'm a pioneer of with Nick is identifying the need to be lover before provider and the science behind that. So, yep, every guy needs to become the badass before he's the Buddha. Every guy needs to learn how to escalate quickly, how to be direct, how to be super direct, how to have lover qualities, how to have options, how to plate spin, how to swing the other way. Because most of people in this, as you know, including yourself and me, we're nice guys, super nice guys. So we gotta swing the other way, first of all, and go totally badass, Russell Brand style. And then after you've been a player for a while and you've smashed some of your original Disney concepts, you can come back to the middle and be the nice bad boy. Other guys don't talk about it. Other coaches don't talk about it because they're not aware of it and therefore, they're not really aware of sexual market value. That's why I'm studying and writing about this new field of sexual economics because if you don't understand the fundamentals, girls just don't make sense. Alright. Let's keep going. I'm looking at the time. Yeah. We're alright. I'm gonna keep pushing it. Ozzy says, hey, Tom. How do you become consistent? I'm awesome one day and calm the next day. I feel not great. Or is it just me, or did you face similar issues? Yet, your state's gonna fluctuate, state in speech marks. And that's completely normal. It depends on how much you slept, what you ate, what girls you slept with, what dates you went on, your job, your family. There's so many things, the weather, are your boots rubbing you or not, Are there too many daygamers in one place? All these things affect your vibe, and it's just part of life. We can't always have smooth state. If anybody says that they're always an awesome daygamer, they're bullshitting you. In the beginning, the fluctuations are big, and over time, you can narrow them down, but they'll always remain. I take a few days off. I go and sit in a coffee shop and read a book. I keep my vibe up in life by doing things I love and seeing friends and speaking to my family, keeping well, eating well, and reflecting on the positives. Girls will give you that positivity back if you love them and you do day game from a beautiful place. If you hate girls and you're bitter and you're angry, then the daygame vibe is gonna get worse and worse and worse. Alright? I think that's your name. Paul Nedui. He says, how do you maximize the chances of getting IOIs on the street? He used to get them, but even now when he wears expensive clothes and his body's more masculine because he goes to the gym, he gets less. And then he kind of answers his own question at the end when he says, I think that back then my vibe was more bad boy. I can't explain. You're right, Paul. It's your vibe. So it doesn't really matter what clothes you wear or how jacked you are. Anyone can learn to walk down the street. I call it the red carpet walk, where shoulders back, chin up, sparkling eyes, cheeky sexual smile, and winking or giving little glances to girls coming the other way, you will get IOIs. Of course, it depends on time of day, time of the week, time of the year in London, and where you are. So maybe in one country, you'll get more IOIs than in another country. But it's essentially from your energy that you're emanating. Now that's not woo woo self development. That is the masculine vibe based on your mindset, based on your beliefs. So a celebrity will walk down the street differently to a window cleaner walking down the street who's not got much work on at the moment yet. So you can use affirmations. You can fake it till you make it. You can reflect on positive things. You can listen to some pumping music. That's what I do sometimes. Put on a bit of ACDC, earphones in, walk down the street. Walk straight down the middle. Don't get out of the way for anybody except if they're pregnant or they're little kids or old people. And try and trigger the IOIs. That's part of it. But really, as I say to students, don't rely on IOIs and warm approaching until you've mastered the cold approach, until you've slayed the dragon of approach anxiety and cold approach. When you're pretty good, intermediate and above, yeah. You can do a bit of IOI warm game. Yeah? Alright. Craig asks about the passive income as well. So I've already answered that question, Craig. Read four hour work week Google, Internet marketing, and consider teaching English abroad. Last few questions. Ace says, how do you overcome games so you become just a normal guy who is great with girls and gets consistent results and not a so called gamer or PUA who needs to game continuously at the expense of other things to keep getting results? Now, that's a great topic, and I think I'm gonna do a video on that because it's so common. Not really question, but the answer that another guy gives below, Frederico answers Ace's question with saying, you shouldn't purposefully go out for daygame. You should go about your regular everyday business. And then when you see that nice cute chick, dive in. Don't sacrifice anything for women. They are meant to be a compliment to a man's life. If you go out and get good at hitting on girls, you'll put an unhealthy pressure on yourself and feel bad if they reject you. I'm sorry, Federico, but that is wrong. That is a weasel or rather a meta weasel. A very clever way that your brains conjure up to say to you, Federico, don't approach. Pickup is creepy. Pickup is wrong. Daygame is wrong. There's loads of guys writing blog articles and making videos saying the very same thing. You don't need to immerse yourself in this skill set. It's weird. Girls should come to you. You should never chase girls. Well, the harsh reality, Ace, is that you need a period of immersion in your life. For me, it was six to twelve months where all I did was chase girls because to get good at any skill set, you need to put in those thousands of hours. Okay? And yeah, I was thirsty. I wasn't outcome dependent. That's another PUA myth. In the beginning, you've gotta be very outcome dependent, not outcome independent. In that you've got your eye on the prize, you're like a hungry dog, you're chasing it. It's good because you're so focused. Your skill's gonna improve. You're so desperate. Your skill's gonna improve. Put a horny guy next to a guy who just doesn't care about women. Which one's gonna do better? Know? Put a guy who says, I'm gonna get laid tonight, next to a guy who says, girls can come to me if they want. Who's gonna get laid tonight? So for a while, you do need to learn the skill set. And for most guys, I've seen that's between one and two years. And then you can start to ease off. And when you're in Sainsbury's or in the lift at work, you it will just happen. But until you've slayed the beast of AA and used fear as fuel, forget about it. It's just a myth. So sorry, Federico. I have to disagree with your answer. Last question is from Peter, and he says, when you fall in love, what about that? And what about sex and not ejaculating to keep your energy and not getting low? Do you practice tantra sex? And how about leaving a fantastic girl? Don't you want more of her? And do you have a dream of children and only one woman? Wow. A lot of questions. Again, linking to that answer I gave about guys emailing me and saying, Tom, do you just wanna settle down and kind of stop, you know, this silliness? It's cool, but, you know, shouldn't you fit into society? So if you've read my book and you've seen Badass Buddha, you'll know I was married. And you'll know my opinion on Disney romance and the myth of one woman out there in the world to compliment you. That's not to say love doesn't exist, and there are great women, but there's loads of great women if you just do the maths. So don't worry about that one girl completing your life. No one can make you happy. Only you can make you happy. Okay? And when I find fantastic girls, which I have done, I keep in touch with them and I keep sleeping with them and have adventures with them, but it doesn't mean you need the house, car, mortgage, dog, and kids. Just be very careful of social programming. Falling in love, you can look at the biochemistry of that as well if you're not sure about why we fall in love. A cynic would say love is just neediness. Either complementary neediness, which is both of you in love, or one-sided neediness, which is unrequited love. Love is a beautiful thing. It does make the world go round, but you can redefine love to include your friends and your family and guys and animals and love for sports and love for the planet and love for the mystery of the universe. Just be very careful of Disney love. Tantra sex and not ejaculating to keep my energy up. Well, this is a big topic that's debated. Should you wank? Should you not wank? I find wanking actually makes me hornier. And loads of my mates say that as well. Some guys, they find that masturbating just drains them of energy so they don't do it. But for me, it's never been a problem. I I love doing it. Not always to porn, but it does raise my energy in it. If I didn't do it, I'd just go crazy, I think, because I'm a horny motherfucker anyway. Do I practice tantrum sex? No. But I know John Matrix does. He's into all that woo woo stuff. I just like sex for the for what it is, fun, dirtiness, connection, Sunday morning sex with breakfast in bed, all that stuff. I love sex. And I should do a podcast on sex and why I think it's just a meta representation, expression, metaphor of the big bang. So why the whole meaning of life is the orgasm. That's a topic for another time. I'm coming up to fifty minutes now on this podcast. So I'm gonna leave it there. That was good. Apologies if I skimmed over some questions, but I wanted to be fair and answer everybody's. I'm gonna do one of these every single month. And the the better questions, the questions that I think can go somewhere, and the questions that I get a lot, I might put into video format to answer them once and for all. Because it's interesting how same the same topics crop up again and again and again. And at the moment, it seems to be all this stuff about unplugging from the matrix and passive income. Guys are more interested in that than in the daygame, which is a cool evolution in itself. Alright, guys. That was it. Check out the link below which takes you to my books, daygame and Torero travels. And if you want more of the spiking and the teasing, go on Amazon and search for me and my book, how to flirt with girls. Until next time. Ta da.