---
title: Episode 82 Sexual Sovereignty
episode_number: 82
era: mid
source_file: Episode 82 Sexual Sovereignty.mp3
audio_size_mb: 59.6
duration_sec: 1951.5
duration_min: 32.5
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:21:06Z---

# Episode 82 Sexual Sovereignty

**Speaker 0:** Tom Torero podcast 82 on sexual dominance. Ho ho. What a dirty, flirty, naughty podcast this will be. I'm off to Japan on Friday. I'm very excited about that. Packing for Japan. Not Tokyo like last year, but flying to a secret city by the sea. That's all I shall say, say no more, with my mate, Tim, to check out Japanese daygame once again. But I'll be doing a podcast from there. I'll do some video diaries from there, so you'll get a glimpse as to how it goes. Yesterday, confirmed a 100% for flights and accommodation. The Las Vegas trip with Craig at the beginning of December, that's the last big Torero tomfoolery adventure of the year I think What a better way to finish? What can you imagine than Las Vegas? So that's all good What else have I been doing? I've been a busy boy keeping out of trouble or trying to keep out of trouble. I've been editing stealth seduction, my infield video product in Wales. I've been in London. I've been in Cambridge. Now I'm here again in Middle Europe and just been going over hours and hours and hours and hours of footage from this year, over fifty hours I think. I don't know how long the eventual product is going to be, but so far I've edited 12 lays that is open to close with the dating and the texting and going over a lot of these lays and a lot of the blue balls, the idea for this podcast was born. Because I realized in listening to myself, which is a very weird thing to do, listening to yourself on a day escalating and then back at your place, I'm a bit of a naughty boy. And these girls are naughty girls, you know, girls cheating on their boyfriends, a married woman sleeping with me, girls who have lots of secret lovers, it's all very secret society stuff, you know, that's why it's called stealth seduction. She's usually in on it too, yeah? There's a virgin, sex in a park, sex in toilet, sex in a van. It is downright debaucherous. So, I hope you enjoy it when it comes out. I'm enjoying reliving the adventures, blow by blow. And, yes, that's the topic of the podcast. Before we kick off fully, let's just make this win win. Support what I do. Thank you for listening to this, watching on YouTube, downloading my podcasts on iTunes, giving it a rate, giving it a review. That always helps. Or if you brought one of my books, giving that a review online as well. If you haven't, then, like I said, make this win win. You can buy my hardback daygame texting dating mindset frame textbook, the big daddy stealth, street hustle. I'm so consumed by stealth seduction that that's what I'm thinking of. But stealth seduction is the live version you could say of my text textbook Street Hustle. If you want something smaller and cheaper, and it's on Kindle now as well, you've got Torero Travels. You've got my first book Day Game, which is my memoirs and a lot of lay reports. That's also on Kindle. And the cheap and cheerful one, how to flirt with girls, a straightforward no nonsense guide that's just on Amazon Kindle. Remember to get them from your local Amazon store because if you're not in The US, you might have to use the British store or the Australian store or whatever. But Street Hustle, that's on Lulu. And don't worry, it ships all around the world because there's printers all around the world. So, customers have brought it in all corners of the globe, if the globe has corners. You can also find me on Twitter. You can find me on Facebook. You can find me on Instagram. There you go. That's enough upsell for today. Right. Let's dive in. Sexual dominance. You probably have heard me say this sentence before. Men are attracted to beauty. Women are attracted to power. Everything else is just detail. And it's the detail that us seducers, enjoy unpicking. But zoom out and you think men like beauty. That's what fires us up. That's what we go after. Women are attracted to power and as I've said many times, not just muscular power or money power or fame power. There's loads of elements to a man's SMV. But in essence, she wants you to hold the frame. I've said that thousands of times. If she's holding the frame, if she's leading from any point from open to close, then something is wrong. Alpha is you're holding the frame and she's in your frame. Beta is she's holding the frame and you're in her frame. Alpha is just the guy that women want to sleep with because they're sexually attracted to him. Alright. And no, that doesn't just mean looks. Alright? Watch my videos on elements of a male SMV recently on my Facebook page, and I think I did it on Twitter as well. I put out an old infographic that I had made breaking down male sexual market value, all the different components. So check that out if you haven't seen that from two, three, maybe four years ago now. Anyway, so let's think about power. Women are attracted to power and that doesn't mean just being a CEO and a boss with a flash cart. Power, there's so many ways we can think about power, physical power, mental power, but just imagine it as holding the frame and women love this. Yet they try to snatch the frame off you Many many times that's ongoing even if you're in a long relationship, especially if you're in a long relationship where you're married to Jesus. They're constantly testing, does this guy hold the frame? Is he a man or is he a mouse? And they enjoy that little tussle of trying to take the frame off you, you getting it back, all is well. That's why we say women are attracted to drama, they love this roller coaster of emotions and, it's our job quite simply to hold the frame. And in holding the frame, that's where the power comes from. And we're going to think about it today in the bedroom or even better out of the bedroom, sex in kinky places, doing kinky things, dominance. I've spoken about sex in podcast 42, I think it was, Sex Education and there's a podcast on STDs, The Reality of Those if you're still worried about that. So search for that podcast. I'm not going to talk about that today. I'm going to talk about things that you could say are non PC. To many people, these things are controversial. Who knows? This podcast might be flagged up. Right? I'll certainly get emails after this or YouTube comments, in the spam box saying, this is deeply sexist. This is wrong. Right? This is misogynistic. You are a misogynist. Some people will push it even further and say, this is shocking in that you are a rape apologist in extreme, you know, social justice language. It's certainly not politically correct because we're speaking truths. Right? And you could say stand up comedians are the last guys in the world or some stand up comedians that can kind of say these truths that are are known. We know this, men and women, we know this. That's why it gets the laugh and we enjoy it when a stand up comedian says the truth But if you have a normal job, a corporate job, you're in a relationship because of today's climate, you know, you can't really say many of these things I can say these things because, I'm openly black sheep, I'm not going to moan about why society is not letting us say these things because moaning is not going to get us anywhere. Today I'm just going to say them and hopefully you're going to nod your head, you're going to recognize a lot of these truths from your past, your relationships, the way that women have responded to you, the way that women respond to movies and literature about this stuff. You'll recognize that these are truths. It's just short. Perhaps in your situation, you can't publicly say it. But all I want you to do is acknowledge that this stuff exists. Women know it. Women accept it. But it has to be brushed under the carpet. That's why we call it secret society. It's secret for a reason. Now we're all gonna hopefully sit around this podcast table and nod to all these things. But as I said, there'll be some angry, blowback before, the blow job. Right? You'll get that effect of a woman denying that this stuff exists perhaps. It's a bit like, her trying to snatch the frame off you, but we'll talk about why that is effective, in actually blowback leading to blow job. You'll also get from the male side of things a lot of, hypocritical, could say, puritanical, religious, repressed, judgmental males. You can call them white knights. You can call them beaters. Whatever. You can call them chronic nice guys. They want it to be nineteen fifties again. And this is where a lot of the emails I get come from in that guys say they want to move to Ukraine or they want to move to Asia because they want a good girl. They want a good wife material girl, not like these trashy western girls. They want to get in a time machine and go back to 1950, put their hands over their ears and pretend that none of this stuff exists. I've made a video on that as well called Grass is Always Greener. Why you can't escape the realities of biology. You can't escape the sexual marketplace. Okay? And that's at the heart of today. I'm often asked the question, okay, Tom, daygame works on, outliers. Daygame works on, trashy girls, on whores. Daygame works on slutty cheap girls who just want to have sex. But I, Tom, I date very good girls. I date the girl next door. Alright? I date the church girl. I date the religious girl from the mosque. I date girls that are cultural. You know, it's not just about beauty. I like girls with PhDs. I'm looking for wife material girl, mother material girl. Does daygame get good girls? That's a question already you can hear in the tone of my voice what, the biological truths shine onto onto that as an answer. Yeah. If you've heard me talk about the purity fantasy, the Madonna whore complex, this whole thing about snowflakes and pedestalizing girls, girls being fragile, thinking in binary terms, you know, okay, she's a slut or she's a whore or she's, k selected, she's this, snowflake and daygame can't get those kind of girls. Alright? Now, if you know my material or if you've read books like Sperm Wars or Evolution of Desire, I'd really encourage you to read Evolution of Desire, professor David Bus. He gives all the biological explanations to all the stuff I talk about. Alright? Or if you want a bit more of an easy read, read Robin Baker's Sperm Wars. He gives you case studies, short stories talking about why men and women cheat and women are looking for lovers and providers. And he talks about sexual dominance. It was a very controversial book. Obviously, the PC brigade didn't like hearing about the truths, the sex lives of men and women. It shocked a lot of people. But biology is biology. Alright? Facts, not feelings. So, definitely look into the biology underpinning all of the stuff that I I talk about and show you and, what the podcasts are full of. And I'll say it again. Right? This even this year, I've slept with, that 17 year old virgin. I've slept with religious girls. I've slept with girls who have PhDs, doctors, doctors, lawyers, the sweet innocent girl from the village who's only ever had one boyfriend. And I've also slept with, yeah, party girls, crazy girls, girls who do have a lot of lovers, girls who openly enjoy sex. So both extremes. And I say the line between good and evil, if that's what you wanna make it a parody, you know, black and white angel, devil. The line runs inside of us. We all have the capability, the capacity to cheat, to think about cheating, to watch porn, to have a filthy thought. You know, please don't tell me that you assume that a priest in a church never has a sinful thought. Please don't tell me that a married guy never looks, at a pair of boobs that are his wives. Yeah. Please don't tell me that that sweet innocent looking girl next door, that virginal snowflake, she's not watching some dirty porn having fantasies. She's not repressed. Right? You know this is true. And whether she acts on it or not, that's a different question. And sure, there are some girls that only act on it once as a little experiment. Yeah. She wants to try it once. That's usually in her horny years between the age of 17 and 22, the experimental phase where she's looking for love with DNA. She's not ready to find a provider to settle down with. So she's open to new experiences and either she thinks about it, she dabbles in it or she tries it. She might also try it after a breakup. She's a really good girl. She's a church girl. She's an educated girl, but she has a breakup. You'll hear this in, Stealth Seduction, where the woman gets, what happens to this one? Yeah. This girl in seduction, she's gone to Barcelona to sleep with a guy, after her relationship ends. And this guy that she wants to sleep in Barcelona, he's married. And he, she gets stood up, right? He doesn't show up. So she goes to a bar and that night for the first time in her life, because she was a Muslim girl, she tries a one night stand and she does it. And I'm her second ever, one night stand or one date stand. It was a first day lay with a Muslim girl. So you can you can hear stuff like that. Girls would do it out of revenge. Girls during the middle of their month, you've heard me talk about the ovulation window. All girls during the middle of their month when they're ovulating, it's proven that they are also seeking lover DNA. They're out for the alpha. Now they might not act on it, but they're thinking about it. Okay? So don't make it binary. Don't make it black and white. Day game, night game, online game, social status game, fame game, whatever type of game a guy is using works on quote unquote bad girls and quote unquote good girls. And you can, remember the sentence I always say, a good girl is just the bad girl who hasn't been caught. Now, let's dive into this a bit deeper. That's what she said. Well, that's what I said to her because this podcast is on sexual domination. Yep. So if you could hear girls' thoughts, imagine there were speech bubbles popping out of girls' heads as they walked around, we would be shocked. I think the world would collapse. Sensible guys, white knights, beta guys, square guys, they would just have nervous breakdowns. If you could hear what girls were thinking, if you knew what girls were dwelling on as they glanced at men secretly during the day, if you could hear what your girlfriend was thinking, if you could hear what married women were thinking. Now as men, it's accepted. Yeah. We're horny bastards and we joke about it and it's culturally okay to just say, yeah. I look at boobs, I look at legs. Well, I say that but you know, there are these white knight guys and boyfriends and husbands that try to be all morally superior. I never look at another girl. Well, come on man. We know why you're wearing sunglasses. Yeah? We know why you go to the beach. The secret visits to the strip club. Yep. Late night porn viewing sessions. Look, just own it. Alright? Either you hide it and you're hypocritical or you just say, fuck yeah. I'm horny. Right? Don't hide your dick. Tom Torero's mantra. D H Y D. Let's get that on hats and t shirts. Don't hide your dicks. Just say, yes. This is the nature of humans. Imperfect if you're a religious person. I just say it's human, I recognize my biology. I've said many times before, I was once with my grandfather in an art gallery and I saw him looking at, I think a woman's ass. She was a hot girl. And later I said to him, you know, grandfather, does it ever stop this desire? And he was like, no. Alright. So just accept it. Why was I saying that? Yeah. Because if you could hear girls' thoughts on this, we would be shocked because oftentimes I suspect many times, but the norm is they're either similar to ours or more filthy than ours or more graphic. There's huge story lines in their heads. There's huge plots and subplots and drama, but there's dominance. Women long for this dominance. Yeah. As I said, secret society is secret for a reason. Girls, as part of their sexual strategy, need to portray the purity thing. I understand why girls do it, but it's a strategy. Right? They pretend to be this fragile, snowflake when inside, deep inside, they are doing fucking crazy things. The sentence is dominant woman in the streets, submissive in the sheets. So the more outwardly she seems quite dominant, like she's a doctor or she's a lawyer or she just has a strong frame, that's actually a sign that, she wants to be dominated in the bedroom. Now many guys misunderstand this. They say, oh, I just want a very feminine girl. I've just put out a YouTube in field actually of me, kind of frame battling a very dominant girl and seducing her. And many guys contact me to say, Ugh, why do you even bother with these kinds of women? This is repulsive. They don't understand the game. Right? She's not just gonna come to you, a dominant woman, that probably just means she had a weak father or a weak previous boyfriend. She's a bit of a madam. She's a bit of a princess. I like the challenge because I know that once I pass those frame tests, I call shit tests frame tests, the girl is longing for an alpha guy. She's longing for a lover. So those more dominant women, they are the ones that really crave domination in the bedroom by you. Very submissive, submissive in the sheets. Yep. I once saw a post, I think it was on Instagram, on a PUA's Instagram. And it said, I'm not gonna make love to you. I'm not gonna fuck you. I'm going to own you completely. Now, when you say things like that and you talk about domination, of course it, gets, politically correct people mad because they think you're talking about non consensual, sex. They're thinking of domination as an attack against her will. And I shouldn't even have to put this disclaimer in here, but I do, especially because it's on iTunes. This podcast is not about non consensual sex. Of course, the woman's in on it. All right. This is role play. When I say domination and when I say token last minute resistance, I'm not saying you do things to girls against their will. Of course not. Come on. I shouldn't have to say that. But you do have to say it. Otherwise, you know, read the comments underneath videos like this. So that's the disclaimer. Right? When we're talking about owning a girl or dark sides of men and women, this is pleasurable. This is what the man wants and the woman wants. Yeah. I say many times game is not a boxing match, it's a dance. And today we're talking about the darker side, the dominating side of the dance. Everybody should read My Secret Garden, the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. That was published in 1973 and it's letters, transcripts of taped interviews with housewives all across America anonymously. So they could actually say what their sexual fantasies and dreams and desires were, what they masturbate to in their heads. This was before, visual porn, I suspect for them. And nothing has changed. Nothing is new under the sun. 1973, it shocked people. Right? What women actually think. But if you just want a simple glimpse of what women actually think about sex and what they desire, read book. It'll wake you up. As I said, read Sperm Wars, read Evolution of Desire, but My Secret Garden is a classic. And in that vein, I've jotted down some quotes from a website called thoughtcatalog.com, which is just bank of anonymous thoughts on different subjects and they're very revealing because they're anonymous. This one, one, this thread is on sexual dominance and why women like to be sexually dominated. The first one is from, anonymous 21 year old female. She says, I have a dominant daddy relationship with my boyfriend and I fucking love it. Women are raised to act pure and chaste and I find that disgusting. Being his little sex slave is my way of rebelling against a society that tries to oppress female sexuality. The next one is by an anonymous 22 year old female. She says, my ex used to order me to get under his computer table and suck his dick while he watched porn. It sounds weird, but I was actually insanely turned on by it. I can hear the, the squares saying. The next quote, is from an anonymous 23 year old female. She says, I love being my boyfriend's dirty little slut. While I'm at work during the day, he texts me orders like to go into the bathroom and send him a picture of me fingering myself. It drives me crazy and I'm always ready to have sex the minute we both get home. And the last one, a 26 year old female, she says, my last boyfriend used to make me beg him to let me suck his dick or to come on me. It was insanely hot. At a certain point, you just have to accept that you're a super sexual person and there's nothing wrong with that. That either you found those shocking or you read My Secret Garden and you find that shocking or you don't. Depends on your sexual experience, depends on your notches, depends on how many dirty things you've done. They don't shock me at all. But I know women long to submit, consensually. They wanna feel feminine. They wanna feel your masculine energy. They don't wanna be idealized. They don't wanna be treated as fragile statues. Yeah? She wants to be in your frame and as I've said, she'll test it even in the bedroom, that's the dance. Look at the success of 50 Shades of Grey. I've said that before. Look at, BDSM. Look at what women get into. Look at the porn they get into. I think about the token LMR game, token last minute resistance when it's forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards. It's it's a frame struggle. It's a literal struggle for domination until she submits, consensually. And, even the act of sex, it's so it's so physical, it's so dominating, pulling her hair, biting, scratching, going behind her, all the crazy things you can try I've spoken about in the sex podcast. It's pure domination and they absolutely love it. Here's some porn stats. Right? Underrepresented, I'm sure, because of, women telling the truth or, you know, not even being on this pulpit. Apparently, 21% of porn viewers in The UK are women. And the white knights, the beta guys say, well, women don't watch porn. My girlfriend doesn't watch porn. Married women don't watch porn. Yes, they do. Or they have wild sexual fantasies or they read, you know, porn literature. 23% is apparently the world average. So 23% of porn viewers online are women. The country with the highest female porn viewers is Brazil with 29%. Now, top search terms. Things that women search for. Right? That they jack off to. What? Women jack off? Yes, they do. Number one, they search for lesbian porn. Wakey wakey, that should tell you. Like I said, two thirds of girls wanna try it. So with the girl you're nailing now or girls in your harem or if it's early on and you can get the frame, your partner, your girlfriend, introduce it to another girl, get her to kiss another girl, take her to a strip club, watch lesbian porn with her because they're watching it in private, right? Oh, by the way, the number one search term that men look up for porn is teen, teen porn. That tells you that men are attracted to fertile girls, late teens, early twenties, that's biology. Number two for girls, they search for gay porn. Number three, teen porn. Four, ebony. Five, milf. Six, squirt. Seven, anal. Eight, mature. Nine, big dick. 10, threesome. 11, big tits. 12, gangbang. 13, rough sex. 14, bondage. Search terms specifically, things, at the top of the list for girls, guy licking pussy, pussy eating orgasm. So there you go, guys. That tells you what girls, are after. That's why they're watching lesbian porn, guy licking pussy, pussy eating orgasm. Third search term is girl on girl, then it goes to big black dick, then daddy, interesting, then threesome, I'm telling you, Then stepdad, I'm really telling you. And then squirting orgasm. So you can either pretend this stuff doesn't exist and you can pretend that she's just this fragile girl doing her PhD with one boyfriend and you're going to save her and this is the type of girl we should be dating. Or you can accept that women like orgasms, women like sex. A lot of the time more than men, women have lovers. Women, do have providers and boyfriends and husbands, but at the same time, they're thinking about the window cleaner. They're thinking about their boss. They're thinking about Robbie Williams. They're thinking about big black dick. They're thinking about the girl in their office. Yeah. Girl on girl. They're thinking about trying to have a threesome. Accept it or don't. I'm just saying the reality. Yeah. And I've done crazy shit. Right? The book I'm going to write after cold calling, which I'm going to call Below the Belt is just the real filth. I remember when I first read the Tucker Max sex stories, Tucker Max has gone all weirdly purple pill beaten now. He's married and done a 180. But in the early days he was just this randy bloke writing his filthy sex stories. I think the book was called I hope they serve beer in hell. And anyway, yeah, so the book is going be inspired by that this year. I've got laid in toilets, in a park. I've had sex in a churchyard, sex inside a bar. I'll tell you that story in a second. Sex in a car, the threesome in a van crossing Canada with Craig, sex in a field, sex on a rooftop, sex on the floor, sex on the sofa, sex on a desk, sex in the shower, secretary, taking girls to a strip club, fingering girls this year in bars, in taxis, in a gig, in a cinema, tying girls up, spanking them, anal sex, right? Ultimate domination, if they're hot, if I'm really into it, if you really, really, really wanna make them fall for you hard, it's hard anal sex. Give it a try. Listen to the sex podcast. Watch some classic porn. I remember a guy I used to live with called John, he used to make me he used to make all of us watch good old Rocco Sofreddy just for his technique because he thought he could hear us having sex. We could it was a house where we could hear each other banging. And he was like, come on boys, you need to get feel for it. You need to get more dominant. Watch Rocca Sofreddy for some moves. I've since then, or around that time as well, I was having threesomes and foursomes. I filmed a porn film that was weirdly involved in a BBC project. Anyway, that's a story for another time. Quick story because I can see the clock ticking. Sex in a bar this year. It was in a Sky bar and, she was wearing a skirt. It was all dark. It was a cocktail bar. We were both horny. We tried to do it in the bathroom but there were girls lingering and a girl with a clipboard, know, one of those door girls lingering by the bathroom. We went back into the bar, she just sat on my lap. I unzipped my jeans, she sat on me and very slowly, you know, just rocking back and forth, looking at this amazing view in the night and the waitress coming over and saying, is everything okay? And I was going, mhmm. Uh-huh. So that was pretty fucking horny. And at the end of this podcast, I'll tack on a bit of audio. I found it today when I was going through the stealth seduction stuff. And it's a girl first of all, she's an 18 year old girl. She's a Ukrainian girl, hot. And she's, first of all, describing how every girl has a pocket boyfriend, she calls it. I. E. A friend zone guy who just does her homework and helps her with stuff and at the same time why her first boyfriend was 40 years old, why she likes dominant older guys and, why my daygame on her. So that's a fascinating lifting the lid on the secret society and all this stuff. That's flown by today. But, don't be afraid of sexual dominance. Understand that it's normal, understand that it's healthy, understand that this is your role and most importantly, that this is what women crave consensually. Yeah. So give it a go. Get a bit filthy. Stop pretending it doesn't exist. Stop being embarrassed about it. Stop hiding a dick. It's it's totally normal. Nothing new under the sun. So that was podcast 82. Next week, I shall be in Japan. But for now, let's listen to that lovely 18 year old Ukrainian describing some filthy things.

**Speaker 1:** Why is it called pocket boomer? Because It's like pocket knife, you know, it's just there and you just take it out whenever you need it. Every girl has it? Every girl has it. Yeah. And Is it the same as friend zone? Pretty much. Yeah. But it's just kinda there's just that one guy that, you know, you find him. He's just there, and he's just happy that, you know, he gets to walk you home at some point of time and all that. And, I mean, it's all it's really nice. Is gay? Or is he in No. Is he in the friend zone, like, waiting because he believes that one day But but I don't think he even believes that one day because, you know, I mean, I've been telling him since day one. You know, it's like, I have a boyfriend. I'm not interested. You know, it's like, epic excuse. I can That's a bad boy. That means he's been trying, you know, maybe, you know, with some flowers or No. Seduced. I mean, there was one day, like, after, you know, I did probably get him my exam, and then he just, like he's like, oh, do wanna go get some coffee or something? And I'm like and first, I was like, yeah. Sure. And I'm like no not really. But you can do my homework probably. Yeah you know every time I need help with my homework because you know I'm June. And that's what I just figured with like older guys It just kind of changes because he was like, you know, I think he was like 27 or 28. Young boy. And he was just like all really nice and kind of shy and whatever and I mean it's nice but it's not good enough. I don't know. I just the girl just needs to be a girl. She just needs to be, like, with her. She just needs to be, like, somebody that, you know, the guy the guy is gonna

**Speaker 0:** I don't know. She's a crazy website.

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. Right? It's so funny. I talked to a bunch of guys about sex, I'm like, just don't like it. And I'm like, homosexual, you probably do like it. They just, like, have to pretend they don't.