---
title: Episode 88 Daygame Year In Review
episode_number: 88
era: mid
source_file: Episode 88 Daygame Year In Review.mp3
audio_size_mb: 57.1
duration_sec: 1871.0
duration_min: 31.2
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.996
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:31:45Z---

# Episode 88 Daygame Year In Review

**Speaker 0:** Ho ho ho. Tom Torero. Don't worry. I'm not terminally ill. This voice is, still husky, still recovering from Las Vegas because I'm cheekily recording this podcast a week in advance. So I'm recording it just just after eighty seven, but we're putting it out somewhere around Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve eve. And the reason I'm recording it early is because before I go off to Wales, I'm sitting next to a familiar face to you, a familiar voice in Middle Europe. You've heard him on two podcasts, and it's my last chance to catch up with him and hear about his his debauchery this year, his highs and his lows. It's Ian. Do you remember Ian, listeners? Perhaps you will with this with this wonderful voice. Hello, Ian. My voice is in better condition than yours. Yeah. Merry Christmas, Tom. Merry Christmas. I forgot to say Merry Christmas. Yeah. We gotta pretend it's Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve eve. So stoke the fire in and I can see you've hung up your stockings, ready for Santa to come down your chimney. So, yeah, throw in as many Christmas innuendos as you want. If you haven't been texting girls Christmas innuendos, then fucking come on. You've got two days left. So an easy ping is have you been a good girl for Santa? Cheeky face. If you're already kind of sexual with a girl or you fucked her, send her a picture of, there's loads. Just Google naughty girl Santa or Santa spanking, and there's Santa bad Santa like Craig and I in Las Vegas with girls over his knee spanking them. So have you been a good girl for Santa? Use it and abuse it. Anyway, Ian, you're gonna have to do the majority of the talking because my voice is fucked. So the idea of the podcast is the first half or the two thirds of the podcast being what you've been up to this year. I know you've had a cracking year around the world. Highs and lows will continue from where we left off really last time. And then we'll link it to the last bit of the podcast, which is your style this year. I know we were having breakfast today and you you spoke about why different parts of daygame repulse you now or turn you on and what you focus on now. And plans for next year, give give as much data as you want, man, because guys listening, know they're obsessed with data. I understand why. Or keep it vague, except to you, man. And then I'll I'll snatch the mic off you at some point and try and talk about this second thing, like the change in your technique, the change in your focus. Take it away, brother, and I'm gonna have a cup of tea in front of this Christmassy fire. You should be drinking a nice glass of whiskey, this Mold wine. Mold wine. Yes. Mold wine. Get the mold wine out. Some mold wine. So go ahead.

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. Okay. So highs and lows of the year. It's been it's been an interesting year really, which is I feel like I've changed quite a lot. Changed gender? Yeah. I've changed gender. I am now a lesbian daygamer. Beautiful. But yeah, no, it's been highs and lows and I feel like I've changed quite a bit from from last year. In some ways I feel like I've improved. In other ways I feel like I've kind of gone backwards, but I don't know, just changed. I suppose the standout highs are my time in New Zealand, which I spoke about on the last podcast, which was May or June or something. Which was yeah, that was a really good, not not a great place for daygame, got good results. And then more recently this year, highs and low both highs and lows in Ukraine. A country which I love and loathe. Yeah. And then definitely a low in terms of daygame and seduction in Barcelona and Spain towards just very recently, which was just a bit of a a disaster. Really, my vibe was just crap. I think I did 65 approaches. I had one date and no lays. So Sounds like burnout

**Speaker 0:** from a crazy year plus, yeah, Barcelona not being great, certainly off season, and it's a bit of a myth, this hot girl Spanish thing, if you ask me. You know, once you've been to Ukraine or you've been here, your definition of hotness changes. And, yeah, there's tourists, but Craig was doing some training in Barcelona and all the hot girls were Ukrainian. So, you know, go to the source, brother, and which you did. You farmed Ukraine like mad and you farmed here this year. Yeah,

**Speaker 1:** mean that was the weird thing because I've been to I've been to Spain twice before and daygamed and I'd always thought it was quite good but I'd never gone there to daygame. I'd always gone to enjoy the city do other things and daygame was something I did as a side note you know some spontaneous approaches which generally kind of go a lot better. So yeah that was a low and I don't I don't think I'll be going back there anytime soon for for day game. But Ukraine, yeah, highs and lows mixed together. Never really enjoy the place I am, like, as a city. I'll never there are elements to it. I enjoy the low cost of living. It's nice. And obviously, I enjoy the hotness of the girls, but everything else is no no good. I think it was my fourth visit to Ukraine this year. I was there for two weeks and halfway through halfway through those two weeks I just I just had enough like just I had so many kind of I kept going back because I kept having leads that I was still trying to go back and seal the deal with and it was always just like some of them would fall through, but then you'd get new ones, then you'd back on a second trip and then a third trip and then a fourth trip. And halfway through the fourth trip, wanted to shoot myself in the head, I think. There there's something intangible

**Speaker 0:** about Ukraine and former Soviet Union countries if you've tried Belarus or Russia or Moldova, etcetera, that sure. Women are the hottest in the world. But if you think getting laid in these countries without being a sex tourist is easy, then My word, go and try it, you know. The woes, you probably heard it on that podcast with me and Tim. But there's something melancholic and you can go to nice cafes, you can have fast WiFi, even the apartments are quite nice now, but there's something about it. It's the people, it's the service, it's the faces, it's it's grim. And I under I understand why. And, yeah, the girls are difficult to fuck. Not difficult for numbers, not really that difficult for dates. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Kissing's okay, but the moment you get into, you know, longer stuff is tough. And yet, there are same delays. We spoke about that with Tim, but for those real girls that you want and they they they they make you go back to the country because you want, you know, they're they're beautiful. So you go on another another trip, and then as you were saying, the world of being a traveling daygamer is you go on a trip to kind of close a lead or two, and then on that trip, start to collect more numbers. So then you fly back to another city, and then in the back of your mind, you're like, I could return to Ukraine and try and close three of those girls that I just opened. So you're on this, like, different hamster wheels trying to close loops. It's like that movie Looper. And you've had that this year where you weren't meaning to go back to a city, but you're sitting alone in back in where are Portsmouth, Plymouth or some random city going, all these bloody girls are texting me. Even here in this city we're in now, you've come back here sometimes because I mean, don't be modest in. You've you you've sealed the deal with a virgin. You've had Russians here. You've had local girls here. Come on. Tell us some more guys going, where's where's the fucking lace?

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. Well, that talk going back to the point you just made of being in a city and get having girls texting you from another one. That was the story of my Barcelona trip. Not only was I just having an absolute nightmare there, I was having girls here texting me, inviting me out Saturday night for drinks, I'm just sat there in Spain lonely

**Speaker 0:** on my own. What was some good lays?

**Speaker 1:** Okay so yeah highlights in terms of lays there was a virgin here that was very good that was that was took a few dates. I think it was the fifth date. But after the first two dates, it was very kind of boring, nothing much was happening, couldn't get back to mine. And then I was just I was nearly gonna give up after two dates. And then third date, I just suggested she came to mine and watched a film, which she agreed to. And then from then on, it was it was quite smooth, know, just steadily escalating further. And fifth date, sealed the deal, which was

**Speaker 0:** And that's Russian.

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. There was a a wild lay with a a Russian girl here a few weeks ago now. That was the first date. Went out, start we just went for like one glass of wine, it was supposed to just be a quick drink but it was a Friday night and then she started talking about some bar that sells some nice vodka so it was, you know, let's go drink some there and then there was another bar and another bar and another bar And then back to mind to drink more vodka. We hadn't kissed or anything while we were out. Then got back, had one drink, and then went, made the move, kissed her. Within five seconds of kissing her, I had her against the wall, my hand round her throat, like ripping her clothes off. Consensually. It was And it that was I've I've never escalated that hard Beautiful. That quickly with someone. And it was it was all going very well. I like pulling her tights down stamped on her tights ripped them off her legs and like it's all going really like I'm thinking like this is this you know I was having a lot of fun and then suddenly she's just like stop stop stop and then I was like oh fuck you know I have to go bathroom and then off she goes to the bathroom so I just sat there on the sofa like pretty much naked thinking okay so she's either going to come out of there and say I have to go I have to go and leave or she's going to come out and we'll just continue where it left off so I'm sat there it feels like an eternity she's just in the bathroom no idea what's going on in there and then yeah she reappeared and it was straight back down to business within two or three seconds We should I remember talking to you about this when you told me the story originally.

**Speaker 0:** We should come up with a term for this angst that players feel when a girl is back in your apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I think it's like a black hole. But that's not that's like a bit of a dirty definition. Because, yeah, only one of two things will happen. She comes out and she's got her coat on and she just goes or she comes out like the same day lay I had here right down to the wire. Exactly the same thing. The daygame was fine. Incidentate was fine. Straight back. This is on stale seduction. Straight back to the apartment. Fine. On the bed. Fine. Kissing. Fine. Blow job, fine. And then she she got all, like, broke off suddenly, like toilet toilet bathroom. And I and I sat on the bed and you you can hear there's just there's just ten minutes of me pottering around in my room going, like, fuck, fuck, fuck. On or off. On or off. And she came out with no jeans on. So I was like, on. But there's been plenty of times where yeah. Whether they go into the bathroom there was one in Vegas where it was on on on Craig and I had pulled this girl back to the room wearing Santa Claus outfits. I think I told this story last time. And anyway, the bit I didn't tell was she went into the bathroom and we could see through like the dappled glass her texting. Right. So a girl is texting. She's probably texting either her boyfriend or her gay friends or her cock block friend. I don't know who she was texting, but she came out and she fucked off. We are at the bathroom. We should ban it. Just say no bathroom breaks. No bathroom breaks. If you're coming back, there is no bathroom. It's out of service. Anyway, alright, I interrupted that, but that was a good story. Lowe's, you said Ukraine and Barcelona. Any nationalities? Any flags of interest? New flags?

**Speaker 1:** New flags. The new flags this year so far, French girl in New Zealand. She was very nice. I was the same day late. Dutch girl in Australia. That was a new flag. Chinese girl in Australia. That was a new flag. Ukrainian, I didn't that was a new flag this year. There was no Ukrainians last year. I think that's I think that's it in terms of new flags. Can't quite remember. But but going back to Ukraine. Yeah. So the fourth where was I? The fourth trip halfway through it, I decided by that point because I was just sick of going there and sick of sick of the country. Right. Right. I'm not doing any more approaches. I just I was determined. I was not going to gather any more leads. I was just going to work with what I had. And that was it. Like, I was not going to go back because I just was fed up with going back. And then on my last night there, I had a date with this girl that met like a week before, went out, few nice drinks, back to mine, had her in bed, thought, right. Great. I'm gonna fuck her. Brilliant. This be I can draw a line under Ukraine, not come back here. Happy days. Right? So it just all seemed fine. Like, she's given me a blow job. It's like just matter of time and then go to actually fuck her. And she's like, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. I I can't. I'm on my period. I don't I don't not I was trying to convince it's fine. Like, it's fine. It's it's natural. Like, you know, I'll put towel down. Like, no. No. No. No. No. No. I can't not not for our first time. No. No. No. I was like, no. It's fine. I'm just thinking for fuck's sake, I'm not. In in Russia and Ukraine, there's a superstition

**Speaker 0:** of blood. They believe it carries the devil. And this is no joke. Other countries, you're right. You just put a towel down and a German girl would easily fuck you or an American girl. But Russians, it's been I it's been tough. Because it's it's like a religious sin. Yeah.

**Speaker 1:** Well, yeah. So there was no persuading her. And I was just I was just, fuck this. I'm not coming back here to see all the deal. Anyway, so that she stayed over and then the next morning she said oh yeah I forgot to tell you I am your story of how you change your life inspired me and I quit my job yesterday I'm moving she was going to go to a different city I was like oh okay so that seemed like a little blessing that, okay, so I can come back to Ukraine, but I'll go somewhere else, which I did. I ended up, I think it was October, went and spent four days with her, that was good. She met me at the airport, took me to my Airbnb, and we were having sex within about two minutes of getting through the door. So Yeah. It was that was so that turned into a a high from from a low. Close

**Speaker 0:** the loop. It's so satisfying to close the loop, isn't it? Sometimes a year later, two years later. I think it's in my first book where I would close this loop about twelve years later. It's fucking mad. Yeah. A girl from when I was training to be a teacher. There's something in you when you never close it. It's deeply frustrating. Anyway, that was the first half of the podcast. If you don't know Ian's backstory, then listen to the other podcast which he's in because he travels around the world. He works online. Even though he has a physical business somewhere, he works online. And how long have you been doing daygame around the world now? Is this year one, year two? This is

**Speaker 1:** just over two years. So I left England 10/31/2014. Yeah. And I I did my did a boot camp in September that year. So it's just over two years.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. We should talk another time because you've really cracked the code with you know, in FlowMad, I talk about how to start doing this, but you've really cracked the code with Airbnb's and flights and money saving things. You're way better at that than me. Just just little things to make life easier because more and more guys are doing this. And in the beginning, it was a bit gung ho, you know, four hour work week. But now we've been living this for two years plus and working out cities and countries and how to do longer term rentals and everything down to Internet and phone and how to spin plates and burnout. We'll talk about burnout in a second. But anyway, I will be seeing you. Over Christmas, you're back in England like I am, but you're down south. I well, I'm in Wales. I can see you over the Bristol Channel. You're down in somewhere near the South Coast. Yeah. Down in the Southwest. I'll be back for a week, which I'm looking forward to and not looking forward to at the same time. Living the dream. And then far more exciting, I I'll see you I fly out first. You fly out a week or so later. I'll see you in South America. So we're just escaping the winter cold. Very much looking forward to that. It'll be my first time down there. So yeah. Excellent. We'll do we'll do podcasts from there. It will be bloody nice, and we'll be speaking Spanish. Okay. Second half of the podcast. About well, ten minutes left about your switch from enjoying technical day game to not enjoying technical day day game, actually enjoying good vibe and underlying principles. So, like, taking the system, ripping it up, doing your own thing, and still having the same results even though, as you said, ironically, your day game technique can get worse or you cannot enjoy the grind. And, the analogy, the metaphor, the way you should think about this with your game is the title of the podcast tools versus task or you could say tools versus principle. And you might know that famous Taoist idea. The sentence says, for knowledge add, for wisdom take away. So what are the tools? When you learn daygame, you do a boot camp, you read all this stuff, you buy street hustle, you learn the London daygame model, the dating model, you learn all these gambits and structures and it's all about outer game and that's fantastic and I agree you should do that for one or two years. And you enjoy it. You learn all these magic tricks, all these little tools. It's like getting all these tools to build something and you say, fucking hell, this is amazing. And you can't wait to go out every day and just start picking up these tools and like, oh, what does this tool do? Oh my god. Look at this. What does this tool do? And you build this fucking structure. And then you get sick of the the outer gate and you realize that what a tool's for? Well, they're to build something. They're for the task. So the underlying principles are what you're doing this for. So underlying principles might be escalating, qualifying, breaking rapport. Yeah. Big underlying principles that you need to understand. What is frame? What is qualification? What is investment? What is vibe? What is compliance? And once you understand these things, you can basically improvise. Like, get rid of your toolkit. You say, well, I wanna achieve that end result, but let's see if I can achieve it a different way. And to someone watching, they go, fuck it up, man. You look a bit rusty. You're not really following the model. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. What are you doing here? And in your head, you're going, well, I I don't need that tool. I but I know what I'm doing. Trust me. I know what I'm doing. And to look at your game, I think we spoke about this last time or even in the third first podcast with you. It's getting more and more invisible and as you said, for you, more and less and less enjoyable showing off with your tools because you're you're like, come on, give me the fucking date and give me the the isolation, give me the escalation because that's the fun. The principles are the fun. But someone watching you would be like, well, what's going on? I don't really see I don't really see the London day game model. What's going on? So can you talk a bit about that? How you've shifted from technical day game to walking around enjoying your vibe. But the disclaimer, gentlemen, and I think I put this in the last podcast with him, you can't start off like this. There's no point. You go out with someone and they say, yeah, just just build the house. Good luck. Just go and build. Build harder. And you're like, how do I build a house? Well, you need some tools and you need a plan and this is how you build a house. Oh, okay. And then you enjoy. So when you say stuff like, oh, I just walk around supermarkets and sometimes I do sets. You can only do that after a I don't know, two years. Yeah. Because you have to fucking grind. Yeah. In the beginning.

**Speaker 1:** Yeah. Absolutely. I wouldn't be able to have done that. It's firstly, you need to make or I feel you need to make going up and speaking to a girl you don't know your comfort zone so because at first it's scary it's exciting but it's scary and you know but once you've overcome that and you're in your comfort zone then you know the world is your oyster but but going back to what you said in terms of the tools that like you said learning them and playing with them it's enjoyable for you know for a good year or you know probably year and a half it was because I'm not sure at what point it was in this year that I felt like things were changing but there are a couple of standout moments but but yeah I used to enjoy it because it was fresh it was new I'd go out I could do sessions I'd go out for four hours, for five hours, you know, six hours and it was enjoyable because I was learning, I was improving, I was it was exciting. And then there becomes a point where it's not exciting anymore, I don't feel I don't feel like I'm going out and improving. Therefore, I'm going out to get results.

**Speaker 0:** Yeah. This is this is what I we should have said at the beginning. You start off like Santa's elf in the workshop up in Finland, and you you like fucking making the toys. You enjoy the tools. And then after a year or two, you're like, woah. Woah. Woah. Hang on a minute. Yeah. I I I enjoy making these fucking trains, but what's the point? And Santa's like, well, the fucking point is to deliver the train down the chimney to the hot girl. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're like, hang on a minute. I I don't really wanna keep in this factory of number collecting and working out little tools. What's the fucking point? And the point is to live a blessed beautiful life with hot girls when you're really relaxed and you that's the point. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And you you're trying to live that life now and it's frustrating you that you're back in the fucking workshop sometimes because you have to. Oh, for fuck's sake, in Barcelona, I I have to go back and build these fucking toys. Think that's a very good Christmas analogy.

**Speaker 1:** Well done. But yeah, so changing from enjoying it to not. And then so there are points at this year where I started to notice and in my head was this vibe versus volume sort of thing where what where was I getting the best results by going out and thinking just doing more approaches more approaches more approaches was volume the key to getting the results or was vibe? And there are a couple of standout points. There was a day here, I think it was the end of June where I'd had some good news with one of my businesses, something I'd been working towards for a few years. I was in a great mood and I thought, well, I'm going go out and, you know, do some approaches. I was feeling great. And I did five approaches, got five numbers. I've had dates with all five of them and slept with two of them. You know, that's just five approaches in one day. And yet I could well, as I said earlier, I can go to Barcelona and do 65 approaches and only get one date and not sleep with anyone. That's volume over vibe. So that day was a key moment that made me realize okay like it's volume is not the key not now because I don't enjoy just chugging away so much there are times when I do and you know I can turn up in a new city sometimes and I'll have that excitement to go out and it's it's great but there are other times when I just feel completely burnt out though I think it was September this year I just didn't do any approaches and then at the start of October it was just it was like I wound the clock back it was exciting going out was fun. I was, like, a little bit nervous. It was like it was suddenly, I had these emotions, these highs and lows just doing you know, going out and approaching, which was completely something I'd forgotten about, become a bit of a mechanical robot. Do ever play golf? Golf. I used to when I was

**Speaker 0:** Golf golf is the closest sport perhaps, and I've spoken about that with Craig. In the in the beginning, you have to have technique, like, and tools, and you improve to a certain degree. Let's say you get to scratch which is playing the course for what it is. And then maybe you join the pro PGA tour. Right? And then but after that point, if you just keep whacking balls at a practice range or getting angry with yourself when you play because it's a mind game, you'll get worse. And it's fucking frustrating because yesterday you were really good because you were in a good mood and today you're really bad And your technique is exactly the same. In the clubs, the tools are exactly the same too. That's a great analogy. Yeah. It is. I and I reckon there must be a point in a guy's game where you switch from tool to to task or principle, whatever. I reckon it's somewhere around year and a half, two years, or maybe it's just enough lays. When you're just not enjoying smashing out those smashing out the repetitive sets, you know. And glaze come off waitresses, IOIs, like Craig and I in Canada. We went to Canada just to go into nature and got laid a lot because vibe was amazing, not laid with each other. Sure. I I think I'm sure. You know what I mean? And same in Vegas. We went through a few hours of grinding and it didn't work. It was boring. We hated Vegas. Like, we should be here to enjoy ourselves. We started enjoying ourselves and because we've got the tools inside us, they're pretty good, they're pretty in built. When you're having fun, fucking a game, man. But the disclaimer is, sorry boys, you have to learn the tools. So if you've never done cold approach pickup, learn the fucking tools, you know. How we doing on time? Let me have a look. Couple of minutes left. So what you're gonna change in 2017? What do you hope to do? How can you stop burnout?

**Speaker 1:** Any new countries without giving too much weight? Well obviously South America at the start which would be new. I've never been backwards in time behind Britain. That would be the first time I'm going back in time. Back to the future. Only ever gone into the future. Are We're going into the past so that'll be exciting. I think for next year I will I want to travel a bit more whereas this year I got stuck in a loop of just bouncing between two countries really. I just kept going back to Ukraine and I wanted to travel a bit more to different locations but I was just constantly going back to try and close Leeds. So I'm planning to do New York at some point, maybe go to The States. And then, yeah, maybe escape from Europe in the heat of the summer, but no idea where. Yeah, maybe go back to Russia, something I didn't do this year. But I enjoyed my time there last year, so that'd be nice.

**Speaker 0:** And focus on vibe? Yeah, doing

**Speaker 1:** less sessions, let's say, because I just feel unless I'm in a really good mood, then I feel like sessions just generally don't bring me any more results than just doing a few here or there. Obviously when I rock up in a new city then I'll go out and do sessions but I'm normally excited by being in a new city so my vibe is high anyway. Yeah, so but other than that a little bit less daygame, a little bit more travelling, try and allow myself some breaks here and there because this year when I took September off, I felt like it did me the world of good. That was the first, that's the longest break I've had since I started. So I hadn't I think the longest before that was, like, two weeks when I was back home doing some work. So breaks. Taking some breaks. Yeah.

**Speaker 0:** And realigning the agenda, obviously. Yes. Finishing that off. Yeah. Because you've gone one way now, you gotta go back the other before you see your mom for Christmas. Yeah. I'll talk about what I'm doing next year in next week's podcast, which I think is New Year's Eve or New Year's Eve eve. And we can review the year, boys and girls, and we can look forward into the future, but into the past as I see you mate in South America. That's when I will see you anyway. Can you hear those sleigh bells? Get ready, leave your carat out because he's coming. He's coming down your chimney. Have you been a good boy? I wish you a happy Christmas in Wales. Say, we are to our Welsh listeners, boys and girls. Ho ho ho, Ian. I hope you get lots of things in your stocking. Yep. I really hope you do. But cheers mate for doing this podcast and saving my voice, and I'll see you in South America. Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas.