---
title: Episode 90 Flip The Script (Make Her Chase)
episode_number: 90
era: mid
source_file: Episode 90 Flip The Script (Make Her Chase).mp3
audio_size_mb: 55.0
duration_sec: 1800.9
duration_min: 30.0
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.998
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:36:56Z---

# Episode 90 Flip The Script (Make Her Chase)

**Speaker 0:** But we had one more important sound we wanted you to hear to hear. Come on and hear our opening invitation to the dance to dance. Somebody make some noise in this. Join me. Podcast 90. Tom Torero on the road, on my way to South America from very chilly wintery Europe. The good news, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, stealth seduction video editing of all my infields from 2016 that I'm putting on stealth seduction, they are all edited. And now the difficulty is that they are being uploaded. But because I'm traveling, I'm here, there, and everywhere, and I'm wary of South American Internet coming up, it's been a struggle. It's been a challenge to upload these videos before I go. I'm doing them all day today. I've got over 30 gigabytes of data, which my stats tell me is gonna take about two days of uploading at this current speed. And then it's not just the upload, it's first compressing, and then you've got to put it into a middleman like Google Drive or Dropbox. I'm dealing with reductions in quality and solving that, and then transferring it onto the video platform, and also making sure everything went smoothly with the membership areas, blah dee, blah dee, blah. Stuff you don't wanna hear about, but this is the reality of making an online video course. It's the reality of writing a book, editing a book, publishing a book, getting the freelance graphic designers, all that stuff, all the techie stuff that I'm really not that interested in, but it's gotta be done. I put a video out yesterday on my channel explaining why pickup is the same. Pickup up is very messy behind the scenes. You think of it as slick. When in reality, there's the grind, there's the pain, there's the soggy socks in your boots as you're trudging around. There's the days you don't wanna do it. There's the flaky numbers. There's the blue balls. There's the sets that are just weird, they don't go in the order that you want them to go in. Unexpected things happen. That's the reality of pickup. That's the reality of life if we wanna get all stoical and philosophical. So we embrace the imperfection, and we plow on. So just give me a few days for these uploads, and hopefully all will be well. The next podcast will just be on stealth seduction, what's inside, what you can get from it if you're a beginner or if you're an intermediate or if you're advanced, how my style has changed from early days of daygame moving towards daygame three point zero as I've spoken about. Anyway, that is all to come. All to come, he says with a grin on his face. There's another post on my website, tomtorero.com, And that explains how I had a menage a trois, a threesome with two beautiful girls, the evening before New Year's Eve. So it was an amazing way to finish 2016 with a double bang. And I explain in that post how to set up a threesome from girls you've daygamed. It sounds straightforward, but it's not. In my whole pickup career, I think I've only had three real, female female male threesomes. I've had other stuff as well. You can read about that in daygame or Torero Travels. But anyway, if you're interested in merging your daygame girls into a menage a trois, go to tomterrero.com and have a look at that post how to have a threesome. Okay, today's topic for the new year, a higher level. So you could say this is upper intermediate or advanced for not just pull pull pulling, not just going fast escalation, not just g y d o, get your dick out, not being all gung ho, not losing girls. This is about getting girls to ultimately jump your bones, to feel like they're gaming you. Now the disclaimer is obviously you're still gaming. Because at any point, if she just pulled down her jeans and said, let's have sex, you would. So so really, you are still fishing. You want the fish. But it's a much nicer form of game. It's a higher form of game when after you know the fish is on the hook, you back off. Now backing off means you need time and backing off means you need to be in that location. So when I'm traveling, especially when I'm doing my short trips here, there and everywhere, it's hard to not pull, pull, pull, pull, pull. And when I pull, pull, pull, yeah, it's good. It's, quote unquote, alpha, fast escalation, lover. You feel all cocky, but you lose a lot of girls. I told you my statistics for last year about losing girls on the bed, and that was simply because I was not giving them breathing space. I was letting them breathe. That's a disclaimer. But I was overcooking things, being overeager. And on the date or certainly back at yours, that can very easily fuck up the fuck. She feels like it's going too fast. That kicks in the token LMR, the token ASD, anti slut defense. She leaves, maybe you do the royal flush, but you don't get a second chance. So today's podcast is about the highest form of game, you could say, where you get her, as I said, to think she is gaming you. Think of it in terms of sales. Think of it in terms of companies. Think of it in terms of advertising and the way we buy things. Different ways to sell things. So you can either be really spammy. You can have a shit product, and you can spam, spam, spam like a pound shop or a $1 shop. You can beg people to buy your product. Yep. And you can kind of force them into buying it, and they buy it. And then afterwards, they think, that was a low quality product, or I'd I wish I hadn't brought that. Actually, I'm gonna take it back. You know? Or you can give people the impression that they want the product more than you want to sell it to them. So when a new iPhone comes out or something, people stand in line. There's a a rope. There's security, there's a two day wait, people camp out. They feel they really want it. They want it more than, Apple has stocks. So there's competition, there's scarcity, we know all these persuasion tricks from CLD. People wait in line. Or a super exclusive high quality product, you could say a resort, a nightclub, a Bentley, they're not spammy sales. Right? People go to their showroom. You have to be let in. You have to make an appointment. There are no price tags. So that's the two realities of sales. And you could say that's the two realities of pickup. When you get into pickup, you're like a market trader. You're like the guy in the pound shop. You're like the guy on Gumtree. You're just trying to sell, sell, sell. And you're using every weapon in your arsenal. There's nothing wrong with learning all these sales techniques. And you get girls to sleep with you and they get hotter and they get younger. Sometimes you don't see them again. Oftentimes you get LMR, you get the ASD thing kicking in, anti slut defense. And then over time you move from that kind of hustle, which is, the first type of hustle I say in street hustle, where it's pull, pull, pull, you move to the second type of hustle, which makes you feel better, makes everybody feel better. It's where you and the girl are like Bonnie and Clyde. You are in on it. She is in on it. So it's secret society. It's under the radar. It's you two against the world. And she loves it. And she certainly comes back for more. You're lover. You're not boyfriend. You haven't pretended to be her boyfriend, so she comes back for more. And it's pull pull in the beginning. I'm not saying you can skip out attraction ever. You still have to approach her, charm her, use your flirtation, attract her, get her to hook, bed it down. And then when she's on a date, here's where the highest form of game starts. Okay? We're gonna make the fish want to jump into our boat rather than pull, pull, pull, pull, pull on the date and the line snapping. Yep. So the opposite of pull is, drum roll, please, a push. And you might have heard me say attraction is in the push or attraction is in the playful push. So you know that from the attraction phase on the street or in a coffee shop when you're teasing, challenging, accusing her, you're breaking rapport. So mild pushes. But I'm talking about bigger pushes. When you're on the date with her, when she's back at yours. Every guy wants to be the horny teenager because you're horny. She's back at yours. She's looking hot. You wanna jump her bones. You wanna skip the drink. You wanna skip the music. You wanna skip the movie. Fuck the Netflix and chill. Let's get down to business. And she feels this underlying needy frame, even if you're a player, even if you're a very experienced pickup guy. So it's time, ladies and gentlemen, certainly gentlemen, to do some clever pushing. We want to get her to invest. If you've read Street Hustle, you'll know all about investment, investment dynamics, and most importantly, the theme of the book is frame. She's gonna jump into your frame. You're not gonna jump into her frame. So by pull, pull, pull, pull, pull and really trying to go fast and fucking it up, you're essentially jumping into her frame because she's in control of the, the sexual dynamics. Whereas if you back off and you use some of these get her to invest techniques, she's going to feel like she's the one coming into your frame. You're not having to make her come into your frame, like a super strict teacher that nobody likes. That girl wants to come into your frame. Okay? A good analogy many pickup artist use is bringing home a kitten or bringing home a puppy for the first time. But a cat is a better example. You bring home a new cat into your apartment and what does the cat do? No. It doesn't just sit on your lap. It it lingers by the doorway, then it comes in a little bit and smells and sniffs and goes all the way around the outside. It checks all the cupboards and the little nooks and crannies. It hides under the table. Then it moves onto the carpet, nice and clear area. It looks around. Then it slowly comes towards you, then it brushes up against your leg, then it goes onto your lap, and then it allows you to stroke it. Get the idea? Okay. Once again, you need to be in this location for a while. You need to have time on your hands because this might involve, slower dating ironically. 2016 and stealth seduction was all about pull, pull, pull, super fast, lays, same day lays, crazy outdoor sex, crazy escalation. But you could say real intelligent game is backing off a little bit and maybe going for the two date or even the three date model. Now big disclaimer. Okay? Because I can see new guys thinking, ho ho, I was right all along. I can do it nice and slow like a white knight on a horse. No. You can't. If you're new to this, I want you to learn fast escalation. I want you to move from boyfriend to lover. I want you to try and do same delays, bounce backs, gutter game, dirty, dirty, fast, fast. Because unless you crash the car, you never know how fast you can go, as Bexta says. Then when you get more experienced and you don't need to do fast escalation anymore, try experimenting with slowing down. So in 2017, when I'm going to be in places for longer, hopefully, in each of my locations for about a month rather than one or two weeks, that's the aim anyway. If I feel like, token LMR or ASD is rearing its ugly head, I'm going to experiment with backing off and doing some of these investment tricks. So what are these investment tricks? How can you get a girl to jump through your frame? How can you get a girl to feel like she is gaming you? The highest form of game. Remember disclaimer, you are actually still gaming her. Okay? Unless you really are a celebrity and you can open your front door and there's millions of girls, so you really don't care about any of them and they'll they'll just jump your bones. They'll scream, okay. You're not gaming them. That is massive preselection. There's a podcast on that. But this is for the, normal average Joe pick up artist like me. So the first type of, getting her to invest technique is the vacuum. That was meant to be the sound of the desert wind and the dust ball rolling through. Vacuum means silence. It means backing off. So you can do this on text. Text. Forty eight hour roll off. If you think you've pulled, pulled, pulled, just go silent for two days. Even if things are going well and you've already slept with her or, things are going swimmingly, just suddenly stop messaging her. You know what that feels like when somebody does it to you, especially a hot kill. You panic. Your mind goes into overdrive, it freaks you out, gets the other person thinking more about you, and therefore she's more keen. She's more invested. Silence on a date. I need to work on this one. You just stop talking and you let those silences rise. That's the difference between an awkward silence, which is the beginner's awkward silence on the street, and the Hank Moody, Tom Cruise kind of rat pack, Frank Sinatra silence, where you're sitting there with a smirk, drinking your drink, you're in the seduction phase, you're not doing anything. And she's the one that's gonna break the silence with, so, that's great. She's investing. Yep. Silence when she's back at yours. Now be wary again if you're a beginner. Silence is not good. When you're doing the bounce, you need to make chitchat. When she's just come into your house, you need to make casual chitchat as you're making a coffee, pouring some beer, putting on the laptop. Silence can be creepy, but you need to know when to do it. That's calibrated silence. Yep. So you might be sitting on the sofa. Don't feel like you have to fill in all the awkward, dead space. You can lean back, watch the movie, listen to the music, smoke a cigarette if that's what you do. Let her be the one to start showing interest. That's what's meant by off as well as on. That's at the heart of game. Yep. Fractionation, trying to reconcile this confusion between being on on on and being off off off, not caring. I used to call it badass Buddha. I think Tyler from RSD calls it intent, which is on on on on on, pull pull pull pull pull, and freedom from outcome, which is just relaxing, letting her come to you. That's the juxtaposition. That is the dilemma of life. Should you be raging against the dying of the light, a la Dylan Thomas, Or should you be Zen sitting in a mountain drinking green tea, thinking that nothing matters? It's a balance of the two. Let's come back to techniques. Qualification. You've heard me talk about this a lot. Qualifying the girl, meaning you're the interviewee, she's the, you're the interviewer. Sorry, she's the interviewee. She's being interviewed by you. No, you can't grill her with questions. Yes, I say you can only do this after the hook point. Really, when a girl likes you, you can start gently qualifying her. Remember the magic questions from stealth seduction? You can just say to her, why? Why is a great qualification question. So if she says she's moved from Los Angeles to Chicago, you look at her with quite a serious face and you say, interesting. Why? Or you might use the sentence, tell me more. Or you might use the words, fair enough. Or you might say, okay. Now they are qualifying phrases because they're completely different from going, oh, wow. Chicago. You moved to Chicago. Great. I've got a sister in Chicago. That's amazing. We've got so much in common. We should get married. Oh my god. Needy, rapport building, you qualifying kissing her ass. Yeah? Instead, poker face, rat pack face, little smirk, twinkling eyes. Fair enough. Okay. Tell me more. Okay. A little few cheeky things you see in stealth seduction. I say the girl even on the street or on the instant date or certainly on the date I say, anyway, how tall are you? Come on. You're cheating. Look at those heels. Stand up. Stand up. Come here. Come here. Come here. Here. How tall are you? Oh my god. You're a midget. You are tiny. How tall are you exactly? And you'll you'll hear the girl. You'll see the girl on stealth seduction. Really try and impress me with how tall she is standing on her tiptoes. Yeah? In all the stealth seduction videos, I say at some point to the girl, okay. You're you're hot. Right? Because obviously beauty is common. We're in London. But, you know, are you fun? Are you interesting? Because I really like a girl who who's yeah. Sure. She's hot, but, you know, we're in Moscow, so that's just a given. But I like girls that are adventurous. I like girls that are open minded. I mean, like, have you traveled a lot? Again, putting it on her, putting the spotlight back on her, making her invest. You could say, are you really blonde? Or are you really brunette? Let me have a look. So you'll hear me. You'll see me doing a lot of that. That's qualification. You can do it on the street after the hook. You can certainly do it on the date, and you can even do it when she's back at yours. Yeah? You've seen maybe a video I've done on my YouTube channel called false disqualification where you're pretending in a cheeky fourth wall way to disqualify yourself. So I often say things to the girl like, oh, I'm a I'm a really bad boyfriend, you know. I'm I'm really lazy. I just sit around eating steak, sleeping and thinking about sex. Yeah. Very simple man. Caveman me, you know. I make a very messy person to live with, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Or you say things like, we're getting divorced. This isn't gonna work out. It's over. You're playfully pushing her away, showing her that, yeah, you want her, but you don't need her. That's the theme of the podcast. You want her, but you don't need her. How else can you make someone invest in a conversation? Open questions, stealth questions. Listen to the podcast on, conversation ninja where I go through these techniques. Open questions, stealth questions, parroting, skeptical parroting, all these you see in stealth seduction. Okay. Let's make it even more concrete. Let's get her to do things for you. Because when you've got male female polarity, women love doing things for you. If you provide the masculine energy, she wants to be feminine. This is what many modern women don't understand consciously. Unconsciously, they do, but consciously, that sounds very offensive, doesn't it? Make girls do things for you. She wants to do things for you. Girls have this nesting, nurturing instinct and they that is brought out if they're with a man who's holding the frame. She will cook things for you. She will start doing little things around your apartment. Be careful of that. Make sure she's not moving in. She will be hand making new things. She'll be bringing new things. She'll be sending new pictures. That's a good way to get her to invest. First, just normal landscape shots, then selfies, then bikini selfies, then bathroom selfies, then you know what. That's over time, that's long game, that's also after you've had sex with them, getting the photos, sent to you. Yeah, you might reciprocate, but we're looking for investment. We're looking for investment levels over text as well, aren't we? Because as I say in, street hustle, her text should be longer than yours. She should be replying quicker than you. She should be using more smiley faces and kisses than you. That's the glasses off test I call that. So you hold up your phone at an arm's length, your whatever green she's the white color, and just have a look who is investing more in terms of length, in terms of timing, in terms of keenness. Let's see if we can flip the script because that's what it is. We call it in game flip the script, get her chasing you. So she's bringing you things. Often girls are bringing me bottles of wine, bringing me presents. I say, look, I'll, cook a bit of pasta. Provide the laptop, but you need to bring the popcorn, you need to bring the wine, you need to bring the ice cream. And they love it. They spend all week doing it. In stealth seduction, you see me using this $1 trick or the £1 trick where I say, wow, I've been spending all week trying to impress you, buying you this super amazing gift. I was gonna buy you a a Ferrari or a trip to Dubai, but instead, I spent $1 on you. It's amazing. You're gonna love it. Obviously, tongue in cheek parody showed irony. Yeah? And she turns up and you give her, like, a little Kinder chocolate egg, and you say you get the chocolate and a free toy. You can pleasure yourself with that toy. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Yeah? And the disclaimer is you say to her, if you want the gift, you have to bring me something of equal value. So she spends the week roaming around trying to find you something. Many times girls have baked me little things, made me, back in the day, mix CDs, made me little boxes with little bracelets in them. Girls love doing it. Get her to emotionally invest in you. Pimps know about this, the darker side of game. If you cause emotional spikes, if you cause massive dopamine highs and then you take it away, you get dopamine lows, you get cravings, and she comes back. That's how somebody who's into the dark triad stuff really can keep girls coming back for more even when he's a pretty sick manipulative bastard. That's real going down heart of darkness, dark triad stuff. Look into pimps, look into macking. They'll even get the money off the girl, obviously. So they'll get her emotionally invested, then they'll send her out. She'll do her work. She'll come back, and she'll give him all her money. And a logical nice guy says, well, that's appalling. He treats her badly. He she gives him all the money. Why? What does she get in return? They don't see male female dynamics in getting her to invest with huge emotional investment. This is, real dark triad stuff, but read iceberg slim, read about pimping, see how that frame works, see the male female dynamics, who is in whose frame, who is investing more. Get her to invest with time. So remember Mystery used to say, seven hours was roughly from open to close on a normal girl, not just a drunk yes girl, but seven hours. I agree. I disagree. It can be a lot faster. You see that in stealth seduction. But you could say for a lot of girls, seven hours, a bit on the street, a couple of dates, a bit of cuddling, slow escalation, have sex with her, that's a good solid time. It's a good solid pickup. The more time she spends with you, the more mini bounces you do. Moving her around even on the street to the I date, I date to a park, park to a bar, bar to another bar, down to the river, bicycles on the second date, bamboozling. Yeah. That feeling like she's known you for a long time. Getting that time in. That's why I dates are good for beginners because they get you more face to face time with a girl. Not always good eye dates because you can sink into comfort. But certainly if you're doing one date and then a little kiss pushing her away, she wants to come in, but you say, no, no, no, we'll see you next time. Don't do that if you're a beginner. Remember, run the train, fast escalation. But if you're upper immediate, upper intermediate advanced, experiment with this push away. A little bridge date. So the second date, you might just meet her in a park for half an hour. You might have a quick coffee. Third date, actually do a bit of cooking. Take it slow. We want her to be the one to initiate things to feel like she's one you. That's the aim of the game. She really thinks, wow. I'm so lucky. I'm so proud that I seduced that guy. Yeah? And you'll see that with her physicality. Common mistake that beginners make, and it's fine. You have to go through this phase, is to learn kino. That's to learn touch. To learn my five things to do on a date, and you just do them. One, two, three, four, five. You're grabbing, grabbing, pulling, grabbing, touching. It's uncalibrated. It's weird. It comes across as try hard. Whereas, if you're clever, you can spot the moment when, you could go for the kiss and you don't. You spot the moment when you could pull her in, but you don't. And you watch, you see it on stealth seduction, even on an eye date. A girl will reach across the table and touch you. She touches my tattoo. She touches my rings. She touches my leather jacket. She comes and sits next to me to show me her photos. She comes to sit next to me on the sofa. She leans into me. This is all flipping the script. Okay? Is she really in control? No. It's a it's an illusion. It's an optical illusion, but it makes your game a hell of a lot more enjoyable. And you could say a hell of a lot easier because you're not you're not highly stressed with this. Is the line gonna snap? Is the line gonna snap? And that was the story of 2016. Highly stressful, lays, because I'm constantly running, the train on the red line going full throttle. The car is shaking like mad, you know, redlining it. Could crash at any moment. It's a lot of fun, but it's a lot of stress. If I just lived in one city like I used to live in London, I could take my time. Disclaimer to beginners, don't take your time. Right. To finish, a controversial point about investment, and that is something called deep rapport. I've never done a podcast on it. I don't really talk about it. There's a section in street hustle on it. The reason I don't talk about deep rapport is that it's massively misunderstood. If I did a video on deep rapport, all the new guys would go on an instant date, go on a date and start running really deep stuff, going into her childhood, going real deep into her hopes and dreams, you know, making her cry, bringing up trauma, really getting esoteric, really talking about the meaning of life and the universe and philosophy. Now, why is that great? It's amazing. If a girl really deep rapports with you, she really opens up. You've got her for a long time. So you can have sex with her, and she'll stick around. Is it ethical? If we ever talk about ethics on this podcast, I say game is just like a knife. It's a tool. You can use it for good or for bad. It's like wine. You can use it for good or for bad. It is what it is. Evolutionary biology is is what it is. So when a girl deeply invests, of course, she becomes attached to you. Of course, that makes her vulnerable. Of course, she wants to be your girlfriend or your wife. Should you be doing that if you're a player? I say no because it's it's bad for the girl. It makes you feel bad because it's the first type of hustle where you've kind of tricked her and then you do a runner. Yes? The bait and switch. But I'm just saying, in the past, I have intentionally, unintentionally with some girls, girls I really like, hot girls, I've gone into deep rapport. And I'm not the one doing it. Remember, it's spotlight on her. 10% about me, 90% about her. I'm like a psychologist, psychiatrist. She opens up massively about real big things, mental health issues, people in her family, hopes and dreams, disasters in the past, secrets. And yeah, that is like crack for a girl. Okay? She'll walk away thinking, wow, I really have a connection with that person. That's the self help psychological trick. Actually, when you're opening up, you heal yourself. You're doing all the work, the other person's a facilitator. But anyway, that is massive investment. A massive investment obviously means she really feels like she's won you and she wants you and she wants to keep you. Those girls are hard to get rid of. It always ends in a car crash. Those girls want to date you, obviously. They're not happy with you being the lover. It's not really a lover frame. Do pimps use deep rapport? Yes. Do people that wanna manipulate, psychologically in all forms of life use deep rapport? Yes. Is it part of dark triads? Yes. Is it part of sales? Yes. It is. You know, brand loyalty, brand for life, linking brand with your childhood, linking brand with your hopes and dreams. Is it ethical, unethical? That's not for me to say because I I'll never be the judge. I'm just, I'm just the the oracle passing on the truths about evolutionary biology. That's what red pill means. I'm just telling you how biology works, and we can all choose to use, those facts just like a kitchen knife as you want. But I should throw that in, and that's the disclaimer also with all the pimping stuff. Have a look at it. It's amazing for frame control. It's amazing for male female polarity. It's amazing for dynamics, and it really is amazing for answering this question. What is the highest form of game? Getting the girl to think she is gaming you. Anyway, back to these uploads. All these things are flashing on my screen. It's like watching paint dry, but it's exciting as each video uploads to the new platform. Stealth seduction is being born right now. As you're listening to this podcast, the next podcast, I'll be somewhere very hot, very sunny, hopefully on a balcony sipping a cold beer, telling you that stealth seduction's done and, a new podcast, podcast 91 coming up next week. Anyway, for now, keep cracking on, get outside, go for it. It's the beginning of the year. This is where habits are formed. Form them like me and speak to you soon.