---
title: Episode 95 Daygame At CollegeUniWork
episode_number: 95
era: mid
source_file: Episode 95 Daygame At CollegeUniWork.mp3
audio_size_mb: 53.0
duration_sec: 1736.7
duration_min: 28.9
language: en
provider: deepgram
model: nova-3
diarized: true
confidence: 0.995
transcribed_at: 2026-05-28T07:40:47Z---

# Episode 95 Daygame At CollegeUniWork

**Speaker 0:** Podcast 95. I do believe Tom Torero from the Great British Isles. I'm here for only another few hours. And then I'm flying off to Poland, the South Of Poland to ski with mister a. You'll remember mister a from some from some podcasts or from other skiing adventures. Then I'm coming back to London to do the one day daygame three point zero seminar, which is sold out. If you've brought a ticket, you've reserved your place, I will have emailed you the location of the seminar. If you haven't got it, check your inbox, your junk, your spam. What am I doing in your junk and your spam? If you still can't find it, email me and I will send you the location again. That's next Saturday. Then Sunday, I'm off to New York City next Sunday to see family, do bits and bobs, and then down to Miami, sunny Miami for some daygame, and then back to London in time for the start of the euro season. Daygame euro season 2017. It's gonna be bloody good. But there we go. No rest for the wicked. Podcast 95, as I said, only five more to go until the big a 100. Who'd have thought a 100 podcasts coming in your ears on tunes and YouTube. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the support. And do you want to be on it? Episode a 100. It's gonna be way longer than half an hour because I want you on it. Not me reading out your comments or emails, but actually the sound of your beautiful voice. So we can broadcast it, stream it across the globe anonymously or you can say your name, doesn't really matter. So if you want to send me an m p three file, just attach it to an email, tom@tomtorero.com. Make it one or two minutes long, not, you know, a sixty minute life story. Like I said, the podcast will be longer than thirty minutes because I hope to collect many, many, many, many audio clips from many people. And you can just say how day games impacted on your life or how the flow mad, digital nomad, wandering thing, black sheep thing, holding the frame thing has impacted your life. You might have seen day against the machine or girlfriend sequence, badass buddha. You've read my book daygame or Torero travels, how to flirt, street hustle, stealth seduction. You've come to a seminar. You've had training or none of the above. But you you're just a big fan of daygame. You do daygame and daygame has transformed your life in some way. It's got you outdoors, maybe you've overcome anxiety, social anxiety, depression, stress. You've got a girlfriend. You've had many girlfriends. You can't stand girlfriends. You're just having lots of random casual sex, you've started traveling, you've minimized your life, you quit your job, you made, compadres through daygame, whatever. Anything that would boost listeners and, spread the daygame love, that's gonna be what podcast a 100 is all about. So for the next four weeks, hopefully, I can encourage you to send in audio files. You should know how to record an m p three by now. Bloody hell. Use your phone. Use your laptop. Use anything at all. A plastic cup with some string. Like when you were a kid, you can send that across the waves. Don't send me a fax. Don't write it. It's less personal. Lots of voices. That'll be good. That's podcast. A 100. What else? Go to the blog because I'm still doing cold calling about another ten days of that. The serialization of my new book about daygame in the Former Soviet Union. Most of it I'm putting on the blog. I'm saving all the good fine details and some juicy bits for the actual paperback. It will also be on Amazon Kindle. So cold calling is on the blog and being in The UK, it's allowed me to do a few more videos. So they're on YouTube and they're also on the blog. Alright. Let's dive in. A very, very requested topic, which is in Street Hustle. It's in the 100 most common questions at the back of Street Hustle. But almost daily, I get emails from guys who are 18, 17, up to 21. And in The US, they call it going to college. In The UK, we call it going to university. College is something you do when you're 16, 17. The same thing, day game at college slash university. And also in this podcast, we'll talk about day game pickup at work. I've had experiences, more with the latter. Because when I was at university, college, as I said, you say in The US, I was at Oxford. I was very nerdy. You know my story from my videos in my book daygame. I'm not looking for sympathy here, but let's just say I wasn't a crazy party boy with a massive social circle getting laid at Oxford. I was studying very hard. I ended up, with a wife. That was my only, flirtatious experience at university. I was very sheltered. I didn't join clubs and societies. I didn't really drink alcohol. So I can tell you what not to do and from, now doing daygame on many, many campuses across the world and training guys who are university age, we can talk about that. Work, by the time I was a primary school teacher or towards the end of my primary school teaching years, I was doing game. I was doing cold approach after school and on weekends. And that rubbed off. Things changed. And I was pulling, teachers and nannies and parents will go into all that at work. Let's start with college, university. Perhaps you're there or even better, you're you're about to go. Maybe you're going this year so you can kind of plan ahead. So the first thing, cold approach pickup is really designed for big, anonymous, busy environments like New York City, like London with a million plus people where there's anonymity and it's fast and you can crash and burn many times. Sure. At a university, if you keep jumping in front in front of hundreds of girls, you do a thousand sets, the front stop, it's gonna be odd for you. It's gonna be odd for the girls. It's gonna be odd for the campus security. Okay. So this is not ideal daygame condition. So before you think about cold approach pickup on your university campus, you should be thinking of something else, which is warm approaching. I wish I had known about game when I was at university to do warm approaching because it's a lot easier. The odds are stacked in your favor. These are 18 to 21 year old girls who are promiscuous, certainly in America, Canada, The UK, Western Europe, Australia, New Zealand. You know, uni is about just getting pissed and getting laid and having a good time and getting into debt. That's certainly the definition of university in The UK. Interestingly, when you're in Poland or Ukraine or, I was just in South America or in Tokyo, Japan, universities for working. They take it deadly serious. They work long hours. It's certainly not about crazy parties. But as we know from North America, Western Europe, Australasia, that's what it's about. So I wish I had taken advantage of it because, yeah, as I said, there's societies and clubs based, around alcohol and casual sex. I certainly wouldn't recommend having a girlfriend at university far too young anyway to be having serious monogamous girlfriend if you believe in monogamy. I live my life where I don't. So first things first, join every single club and society you can. I remember at Oxford, there was weird ones like Tiddlywink Society or the Frisbee Society. There's debating societies. It doesn't matter. It's just a veneer, a bit like couch surfing or meetup.com for lonely people to meet each other. So join lots of clubs and societies. Avoid the ones that are male heavy. If you're a rugby player or a hockey player or a basketball player, well, you're blessed. If you're a rooer or Oxford, you're blessed. The girls will come to you. You won't have emailed me if you're one of those guys. But if you're like everybody else, join a club where it's fifty fifty or more girls than boys. Join some pottery. Right? Weasel your way in there. Yes. A bit of snake seduction, but that's the hustle at university. Very, very quickly set the frame. So you are seen as the organizer. You're seen as the instigator. It's no good sitting back, taking a back seat because you'll be boxed. You'll be defined very quickly early on when you join a job or you join university. People get an impression of you very early on and it's hard to shake off. So from very, very early on, set the frame that you're organizing things. You're setting up a club. You're the leader of men slash women. So you're setting the venue, setting the time, sending out the emails, printing the flyers, organizing the events. And just by being that top dog, big fish in a small pond, you trigger all those classic attraction switches anyway. So you're the leader of men, there's pre selection, there's healthy jealousy between the girls who will hopefully be competing for you. You're seen as somebody that's, fun, but you've also got some authority. Yep. So you're standing out very early on. And if you haven't gone to university yet or you're thinking of starting a new job, plan all this before you go. And they call it ers week. So that is the time to set the frame. I remember my first week at Oxford. I was obviously super shy, super nerdy, covered in acne, hiding in my room because I didn't want people to see the acne, around my mouth, especially I was getting all these big boils around my mouth and my nose. And I put my stuff in. I remember my I think it was my dad and my sister dropping my stuff off with me and then being all alone in this room closing my door. And there was a knock at the door. And my next door neighbor because you live in the college for your first year. My next year my next door neighbor in college was a guy called James. And he was very relaxed. He was very chatty. He invited me next door. I went into his room, sat on his bed. We had a little chat and then he started offering me shots and said, come on, let's get a party going. And I made my excuses and retreated into my room to obviously do my, pre course reading and just hide. And for the rest of that week, James was going around the quad giving people, some shots, inviting them to his room for a party. By the end of the week, he was banging this girl. She was a biologist actually. That's how I knew her. And then I knew James and I could hear them banging away every night and I was shocked. And then the next week he'd be banging somebody else. And he had this reputation very early on as a bit of a party boy, a bit of a lad. He flirted with everyone, but he had that boyish charm, that kind of Russell Brand boyish charm, which hides the the full on pull pull pull seducer. Yeah? That's fractionation, badass and Buddha. Perfect combination. He was fun. He was the instigator. He was the leader. And, people just said, oh, that's James. So for the rest of university for the remaining three years, people would say, well, that's just just James. That's the he is what he is. He's just a flirt. And that reputation is good. And this is what's confusing to many guys. They think, what if other girls know that you're a flirt? It's like when guys said to me, what happens if other girls find out that you do daygame or that you've slept with other girls? And I've made a podcast on this. It's to do with, something that's counterintuitive to most men. It's preselection. There's jealousy plot lines. It goes in your favor. Women say, oh my god. He's such a terrible womanizer. And rationally, they think, oh, I would never date a guy like that. But their emotions and all those attraction switches lead them to sleeping with you or rather sleeping with James. Yes. At the same time, with secret society stuff, there's discretion involved. So you don't rub the other girls' noses in it. You're protecting their reputations. You're not doing massive public displays of affections. It's not like tabloid kiss and tell stories. You're discreet. So people know you're a flirt and other girls will say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I slept with him or I slept with him too. Yeah, slept with him too. But there's a discretion which girls appreciate. It's a key part of secret society. Yeah. That I'll be talking about in daygame three point zero. So there you go. Warm approaching. And then, yeah, if you're on a big campus, do a bit of cold approaching. I've done, daygame as a 35, 36, 37 year old guy in, King's College London. I went back to Oxford to teach a guy. I've taught University of Austin in Texas. I've daygamed around many universities in New York. I was recently daygaming in UCLA, in Los Angeles, in Hollywood. Guys, again, they're too logical. They say, well, what's my reason for being on campus? I I cannot say the truth. Come on. This is flirtation. Things are fluid. Okay? Bit of role play. In UCLA, I was just saying, well, I'm here to visit a friend. I think he's studying here. Anyway, you look like a panda. Hello. Right. We were not jumping in front of 50 people doing front stops. You have to be calibrated. It has to be stealth seduction. Yeah. It has to be under the radar. So girls sitting on the grass, girls in coffee shops, girls coming out of the library, girls sitting on steps in different parts of the campus. Do one or two front stops. The student did one or two front stops stops, but you don't wanna make a name for yourself. You don't wanna shit on your own doorstep. Yep. And if I was back at uni, I would do a little bit of that collecting phone numbers and probably use the kind of Mystery Method technique of pooling them like I used to do with, collecting gills for nightclubs. Get loads of numbers, invite them all bowling, invite them all to laser quest, invite them all to your party, and, let the preselection and jealousy do its work. No. It's not technical cold approach. It's not really daygame, but we're talking about a unique situation. Now if you wanna sharpen your daygame skills at the same time like I think you should, especially if if your university is in a big city like Manchester or London or New York or Chicago, don't do daygame on your campus. But after your studies go into the city and nobody knows you, you can run around like a headless chicken and open a thousand girls, you'll never see them again. Alright? So that's what daygame really is designed for. That's when it works best. And two birds with one stone. Not killing anybody, but you know what I mean. Sharpening your social skills at university, which is key because academia makes people introverted. Right? Professors are some of the strangest people in that their social intelligence is very very low. This is why I always preach, IQ is not sexy. IQ is not sexy. If you've been to Oxford or Cambridge or Harvard, Ivy League campuses, you'll know that the the people with the lower social intelligence are these very bright people. So I would say, sure, if you're at university to become a lawyer or a doctor to get qualified, yeah, fine. Concentrate on your studies. But also work on your social intelligence which means clubs societies, a little bit of cold approach on the campus mixing to create social events and then the hard graft cold approach side. Does that make sense? I hope that answers your question. But if I could do it all again from that very first week, I would set the frame as me as the flirt, me as the instigator. Now that was hard because I suffered from acne and only maybe three four five years after university I took the strong drug Roacutane to completely sort out my large my significant acne problem. That was really what was holding me back and my milk bottle thick glasses, but the acne was what was keeping me in my room I would say. So it was very hard to be relaxed and flirtatious. So if something's bothering you, that's why I say you gotta fix it. Daygame's gonna be very hard. If something's really bothering you with your self esteem, like your weight or acne or glasses, fashion and your hair and grooming, that's easier to fix. But if there's something bothering you, sort it out. And I know your mom says, oh, it's fine. Just stay the way you are. And your friends like you anyway if you're massively obese, if you're cut or if you're covered in spots. But it's how you feel. Okay? Because that's projected. What you feel, she feels. Okay. Daygame at work. Pick up at work. Controversial subject. I've already said don't shit where you eat, and that is largely the message of how do I pick up a girl at work or how do I pick up a girl at the gym. Alright? Don't crap where you eat because it's a place where you have to be professional or, you know, you might have a boss or you've got to go to that place day after day. Don't make it awkward for you. Don't make it awkward for them. Don't make it awkward for her. Now, the biggest red flag is when a guy says, there's this one girl at work or there's this one girl in the gym. How do I get her? And he usually emails me to say, how do I get this girl? I've been working with her for six years or I've been looking at her as she's exercising for two years. How do I get her? Or she's on reception in gym. How do I get her? Red flag. Red flag. Okay. This guy shouldn't be emailing me. He's overly focused on one girl. What does that tell you? He's in scarcity. If a man's in scarcity, what does that tell you? He's needy. So even if he approaches, he's too invested, he's put her on a pedestal, he's worshiping her, maybe he's got purity fantasies. It's all it's all gone wrong. The frame is wrong before he's even begun. And saying how do I get a girl suggests that this frame is all wrong. But anyway, let's just say you're you have a general interest in new, secretaries coming into your work or new girls joining the gym in January and February. Okay. Have I picked up girls at work? Yes. I have. Should I have done it? Maybe. No. These weren't students. I must point out again, was an elementary or primary school teacher. These people I were pick was picking up were fellow teachers, teaching assistant, nannies, single moms, newly qualified teacher trainers working with me. So I didn't really do anything wrong, but did it make my life and their life difficult? Yes. But does it just happen automatically? Yes. As I've said, if you're an authority figure, if you're a leader, if you there's preselection. Usually, I was the only male teacher in the school. So this is why the preselection kicked in, and, the attraction was already done. The comfort was massively done. Okay? So those two things, were assumed. I didn't have to, like, in cold approach, generate attraction, get a hook point, bed it down, ground it, get her investing. All that stuff was done. All I had to do was pull the trigger. And that's tricky. Because once again, subtlety. Right? Under the radar, secret society. You don't rub other girls' noses in it. But the same as at university, accidentally, got a reputation for being this womanizer. And all those, frumpy menopausal women in the staff room, they used to be really angry. And, sure, some of the girls that I had slept with, like the teacher I dated at one school, she was angry. And that is confusing to a beginner because he thinks, well, it's game over. You know, like, a girl reads your book on daygame, or sees your video, poor, your cover's gonna be blown. And like I've said in other podcasts, they don't realize the power of female jealousy, the power of preselection. Women hate you and love you for it. Okay? So owning it, you know, owning the fact that you're a womanizer, just smiling, not rubbing their faces in it, not being too cocky and as I said tabloid news, this happened, she was like this, just smile, lean back, Hank Moody, yeah, I like women. Does that make me a bad man? That kind of frame. That's very good. And you have to embrace it. That's what's happened. That's what happened to me. The first girl I got with, as I said, was a fellow teacher in the school. She was my age when she was around 25 when I was teaching in that school. She was English. We hit it off, but it was a bit of a nightmare because her classroom was opposite mine. And when things fizzled out at the end, she was very emotional. I think the kids in her class sensed it, other teachers sensed it, and even the head teacher said to me, Tom, you know, basically don't shit where you eat. Don't date teachers within school. The second one was, a teaching assistant, a beautiful woman from Serbia. She was my teaching assistant for a while. And we would flirt and we would go out for beers after work. It was all fine. It was all professional. And at the Christmas party, some stuff happened and then later on I slept with her. A nanny, one of the kids in my class, it was a quite a posh school, so, there were lots of nannies, and one of them was a very beautiful Polish girl. And again, we flirted outside of school hours, dated outside of school hours, and, I slept with her a few times. That's in my book daygame. There was a single mum, same thing happened, she was English. And, as I was leaving that school, I was passing on my role to a newly qualified teacher, a trainee first year her first year in the classroom, and I mentored her. And then outside of school hours, we dated and, obviously slept together. And that happened in another school as well. So there you go. It was a very productive time. Yeah. I wasn't in to pickup by then. There are stories in daygame in my book daygame where I'm going through how I read the game and how I started using routines and going indirect and trying stuff out at work on these kind of girls. And it worked. And all I had to figure out was how to get their number under the radar, which is quite easy. I probably added them on Facebook. That was easier easiest way. And then harder is to be discreet about logistics and pulling, you know. So not going crazy at the Christmas party, but waiting and getting her out and dating her normally. And then, yeah, not spreading it around, rubbing other girls' noses in it. You keep it subtle. That's the definition of secret society. So if you're gonna do stuff at the gym, if you're gonna do stuff in your work, be warned. Don't shit where you eat. As well, don't, use work as an excuse not to go and do cold approach. I think I get some emails from guys where they're saying, look, I don't really wanna learn this daygame cold approach stuff. I just wanna get that girl at work. Okay? And that's not healthy. You're going to the gym to, workout, get fit. You're at work, hopefully, to get your salary. And then after work, like I used to do, get the training to London. The city is your playground. Alright? You don't work with those people. You don't know those people. You're not gonna see them again. This is why New York and London and Tokyo are so bloody good. As a beginner, if you fuck up the set, she walks off, you walk off, no problem. So less of a spotlight effect. Alright. To finish, because we've got a little bit of time, and I've got a question in front of me here that was on my laptop today about burnout. Because guys have heard me talking about day game burnout in different cities when I travel. If you're reading cold calling, you'll have read about some of my burnout situations, daygame fatigue. When you hate daygame, there's a revulsion. You're tired. And a guy was asking, is that a problem for him? Because he's, started daygame last year and he's doing his whatever first thousand sets. Should he be worried about burnout? No. I've big burnout up perhaps too much. It's only a problem if you quit your job like I did and you travel around the world extensively, different country every week and you're hitting it super super super hard for two three years. Somebody in their first year of daygame or their second year of daygame, it's good to feel, a complete immersion. It's good to feel, exercising muscles through exhaust ion. Yeah? There should be some pain because that shows the growth, however cheesy that sounds. You should be pushing yourself. That's why I say don't just do front stops. Don't be a one trick pony. Get into shops. Try gutter game. Try going out without your phone, just try pushing yourself two sets, daygaming with the wing. It should be exhausting but in a good way because it's all new to you. The real burnout where you just can't stand looking at your phone or thinking about going on a date or even talking to any new stranger. That comes much, much, much, much further down the line when that's all you do. So even though traveling around the world to do day game or teach game day game is wonderful, there's, downsides, of course. There's risks involved that I talk about in, cold calling and in Torero travels where you don't have a base, where you get fatigued, where it's disorientating, where you can have all these beautiful girls, but you're craving to do other things in life as well. So you gotta take time off or readdress the balance. You gotta make sure you're still progressing and not sliding backwards because your vibe is becoming weird. So in short, to answer your question, don't worry about burnout if this is your first year or your first two years, your first few thousand approaches. Go for it. Go crazy and enjoy it. It's hard to recapture those glory days. I wish sometimes I could go back to my glory days of having this primary school job and going out in the night. It was amazing. Going out into Wimbledon, going out into Wandsworth, taking the train in, then moving to Earl's Court, then moving to Marble Arch. All this is in my first book daygame. They were exciting days. And sometimes I try to relive them by going back to those areas and daygaming and it's just not the same. You know, the past is the past and you move on. And, a new hobby is never quite as exciting as those early first years when you get a rush and you get the addiction and you get some results. And, you know, I look at a tube map of London now and for the majority of the tube stops, I've got a dating story, a daygame story, a lay story, a blue bull story, a funny story, a wing story. I I look at footage of London on the TV or photos of London and I know the streets. Know the pavements. I know the, little back streets. I know the cafes. I know where the disabled toilets are. I know where the bars are. I know where the taxi ranks and the ATMs are. It was a real exploration of London. It was a real celebration of London. Does that mean I can relive it and go back to London? No. You gotta keep moving on, you know. I've got most of New York City yet to explore and then all these other wonderful day game adventures to come. So there you go. That was podcast 95. I have no idea what the time was because I had to stop it halfway through to have a pee and, take a phone call. But there you go. If you wanna be on podcast a 100, the big one zero zero, email me as I said that audio file. Just one or two minutes long with your quick daygame story. Some success would be nice or a funny blue ball story. Label it 100 as the email, Tom@TomTorero.com, and I will speak to you from London next week.